Love after Marriage (21 page)

Deepak paced back and forth in his room. “How could she do this? She missed such a great opportunity.”

He was worried that if she continued to do such things, he would lose her. What should he do now? Past conversations came back to him and made him uneasy.

He forced himself to think positive and brought back the wonderful moments of Roshni’s birthday, their time together, him hugging her, etc.
There is hope, and I am going to win her back. How long will she continue to do this to me? She will have to accept my love and me. This will happen,
he thought, consoling himself.

~ ~ ~

In Mumbai, Roshni relaxed on the sofa, and she was unable to sleep. She went into a depressive mood. These incidents happened more often since Babuji had passed away. Her visit to Babuji’s house that morning and her weeping, leaning on Deepak’s shoulder, bothered her.
Why did I have to lean on him? What did he think of me? How could I become so weak
?

She went back to the conversations on the wedding night, how her life changed and her dreams were broken to pieces in a moment. Her thoughts bothered her.

He did not want to commit to a stranger; how could he say that to me? We were already married, and how could he say that he was worried about committing to me? Why did Deepak have to do that to me? Our relationship is over. I have communicated this to him already. But why is he being so romantic with me on this trip? Why does he want to spend time with me? Is he pretending? What is he trying to prove to himself and his family?

Him being romantic brought a slight smile to her face, but she forced herself not to get carried away with these thoughts. She had to be strong and not give in.

What if he’s playing one more trick on me to get Sashank bhaiya’s approval for his second wife? He does not appear to be such a person, but I know nothing of him!

These thoughts made her uneasy. She became restless and could not sleep that night.

~ ~ ~

Monday was a bright morning, a normal day, and Roshni was busy at work with her team, performing more testing. It was lunchtime, and Roshni’s cell phone rang. She wondered who would call her at this time and picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Roshni, it’s me, Deepak.”

“Hello, Deepak.” She never expected him to call. She continued, “How was your presentation?”

“I had one this morning. It went well, and I have one later this afternoon. How are you, Roshni? I was a little upset with you last night. I am sorry!” he apologized to her.

“It’s all right. I suspected you were. I was very upset too.”

“I’m glad we didn’t talk any further. We would have ended up arguing with each other.”

“Yes,” she continued after a pause. “Why are you calling me now?”

“It’s our lunch break. We finished lunch, and I had a few more minutes before I went back to my presentation, so…I called you.”

At this time, a team member walked into Roshni’s office with a question. Roshni asked her to wait. “Deepak, I have somebody in my office. She wants to discuss the testing we’re doing. Can I talk to you later, please?”

“Sure, I’ll call you in the evening.”

“Okay, Deepak…I am sorry too!”

Deepak smiled, and they hung up after saying good-bye.

He still could not get over the fact that she had changed her plans on him. There would be more of these instances, and how would he work around them? What should he do so she would spend time with him? He could not force her, their relationship was impaired, but he had to think of options to spend more time with her. He believed only then would she be able to see his real self and his personality.

He wondered if he would ever be successful in winning her back.

He had developed feelings for her, and life without her seemed unrealistic to him at this point. But he had a long way to go before she forgave him! He was worried as time ticked away, and the date December 14
^th
flashed in front of him. He took a deep breath and reassured himself, “I will bring her back no matter what!”

So thinking, he walked out to join Sanjay for dinner.

~ ~ ~

Deepak and Sanjay returned late after dinner; it was past 9:30 p.m. He was tempted to call Roshni that late but decided to call her the next morning.

The next morning, Roshni again did not pick up the phone. He made several attempts, and there was no response. Deepak was annoyed. “Why is she not picking up the phone?”

His first interpretation was she did not pick up intentionally; then he brushed away this thought and several other reasons came to his mind: her work, the testing to release the prototype design, she being tired, etc. He was so preoccupied with thoughts of her that he desperately wanted to talk to her but was unable to.

Finally when he did talk to her, it was a major download of his feelings and his concern for Roshni, not realizing that he was annoying her with this behavior.

Roshni listened to him very quietly, then said, “Deepak, I’m tired. Let’s deal with this tomorrow. Bye!” She hung up the phone without another word.

“Dammit! I have been waiting to talk to her for so long, and now she is annoyed and does not want to talk to me.”

It was past 8:30 p.m., and he wanted to call and check on her. He called and apologized for his behavior. Roshni listened to him and rolled her eyes and thought to herself,
Yes, you should learn to think before you speak.

It was unbelievable; how could she be so patient? Every behavior of hers made him admire her more!

This was Deepak’s weakness; he could not handle stress very well. He had done it to her on their wedding night and now again…when it came to handling stress, he was fire and she was water. Deepak yelled, shouted and blurted out things he should not, but Roshni was very calm and composed. She accepted everything. Deepak had seen enough of this behavior of hers; he tormented her and regretted it later. Roshni was gradually becoming aware to this behavior of his.

His inner monologue started,
Why did I do what I did? This is the second time Roshni experienced this from me. What must she think of me…an immature person who is arrogant and ruthless. No, no, I don’t want her to think I am ruthless and arrogant. I have to change! I cannot react to her in this manner. This is unacceptable!

He was making attempts to win her back, but this type of behavior would take her away from him!

~ ~ ~

Wednesday was Deepak’s last day of training the IT professionals. He looked forward to his flight back to Mumbai that evening. He was already dreaming of his time with Roshni, how he would apologize to her and what he would do to please her.

Roshni woke up thinking of the telephone conversation. She had a dilemma. How would she react to him when he arrived tomorrow? She had already taken Friday off, and what would she do with him that day and Saturday? She was not enthusiastic about spending any time with him, but…

She was not aware that he was arriving a day earlier.

Deepak completed the training and was ready to leave Bangalore. All along at the airport and in the plane, he thought of Roshni, all his focus was on her, and he had to be extra careful dealing with her.

~ ~ ~

In Mumbai after dinner, Sashank and Akash were in the family room while Kusum helped Kaki with the cleaning in the kitchen. Roshni was tired and was in her room. She changed into her nightgown and relaxed on the sofa, reading a magazine.

At about 9 p.m. the doorbell rang. Who could it be? Akash opened the door and saw Deepak at the door. He was supposed to arrive on Thursday, so everybody wondered what happened.

After a brief conversation regarding his stay in Bangalore, Deepak looked for Roshni. Kusum mentioned that Roshni was in the room relaxing, and she also checked if Deepak wanted to have dinner. He agreed and left to freshen up.

As Deepak entered, Roshni noticed, under the edge of her magazine, somebody walk inside the room with a suitcase. She closed the book and was dazed to see Deepak standing in front of her.

Sitting up, she asked, “Deepak, when did you get here?”

“Just arrived. I spent a few minutes talking to everybody downstairs, and here I am.”

“Oh.” She stared at him. “And how was your meeting? Did you have a good time training?”

“The meetings and training were good. It would have been more enjoyable if you were there.” He smiled.

Roshni lowered her eyes and was silent.

Deepak moved closer to her and sat next to her on the sofa. He held her hand and very lovingly said, “Roshni, I regret yelling at you yesterday. I did not mean to.”

Roshni looked into his eyes. She tried to pull her hand away from him, but his grip was too strong.

“Roshni, sometimes I just lose control and say things. I was concerned for you. I was very worried because you did not pick up the phone. I should have known better than to disturb you, especially since you were busy completing the testing. My apologies!”

Roshni felt uncomfortable. She pulled her hand from his grip and stood up. Deepak expected her to respond to his apology, but instead she looked at him and asked, “Did you have dinner?”

“No, and I am hungry. Kusum bhabhi is warming up the food.”

“Oh, okay, let me go and help her.”

As she began to leave, Deepak took hold of her hand and pulled her towards him. Holding her around the waist, he stared into her eyes. “Did you eat?” he asked very lovingly.

Roshni was nervous. Unable to respond to this gesture, she simply replied, “Yes, we never expected you today; otherwise we would have waited.”

She pulled herself away from him. They heard Kusum call Deepak for dinner; the food was warm and ready. Roshni asked if Deepak wanted to freshen up and change. He nodded and agreed to meet her in the dining area.

Chapter 17

Deepak in Mumbai after the Conference

Roshni was downstairs near the dining table, waiting for Deepak. She told Kusum bhabhi to rest and she would serve Deepak and clean up the table. Deepak arrived all changed and fresh. He pulled a chair next to Roshni and sat. Kusum joined Sashank and Akash in the family room to watch TV.

Roshni began to serve Deepak and slowly she tried to move away from him, but his response was quicker. He grabbed her hand and asked her to sit next to him. She was uncomfortable, but she sat next to him and served him food. Deepak enjoyed the food, and a couple of times he tried to feed her, but Roshni was definitely not in a mood to entertain this behavior of his.

After his dinner, Roshni cleaned the table, and Deepak helped her. She resisted initially, but then gave in. She could not stop admiring his willingness to help her.

Her thoughts went back to the comment he’d made a few minutes ago: “You are here working alone. How can I relax outside with them? I don’t like it. I will be here to keep you company.” She smiled to herself. She liked this gesture!

Everybody retired to their rooms, and so did Roshni and Deepak. Roshni asked Deepak to sleep on the bed while she slept on the sofa. Roshni was mentally exhausted and went to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Deepak relaxed on the bed but couldn’t sleep. He pulled his pillow up to support him as he leaned back on the headboard. He quietly watched Roshni: her beautiful dark and long hair, silky white skin and her features. She was physically very beautiful, but her personality – her composure and maturity, honesty and openness, her being very loving and caring – all these qualities made her really beautiful. She was financially independent. If needed, she could live a very lavish, modern life, but she chose to be a simple Indian girl brimming with Indian values. She had everything a man could wish for in his life partner!

As these thoughts captured his mind, unawares he slowly moved towards her. He came to the sofa and knelt in front of her. He raised his hand and gently stroked her hair without disturbing her.

He watched her closely and whispered, “Why do you have to pay for what I did? You had no clue of my expectations of a girl or my ideas regarding a marriage. You are so innocent and are paying for this stupid, immature mistake of mine. Why?” He looked at her. “There was no need for you to sleep here on this sofa so uncomfortable. Why are you going through all this for this family? I yelled at you, and you listened to me quietly. Oh, Roshni…why are you doing this? You have so much patience!”

He had a tear in his eye. Wiping his tear, he bent down closer to her. “Roshni, I am so sorry!”

He continued looking at her. “Roshni, I always respected you, but now…I enjoy talking to you, I feel like spending time with you…and…and I want to spend every moment of my life with you. Please give me an opportunity to eliminate the doubt and mistrust you have in me.”

With a sense of guilt, combined with appreciation and gratitude for what she did, he wiped his tears and moved away from her and walked back to the bed. With good thoughts of the experiences during this trip, he went to sleep.

~ ~ ~

On Thursday morning, Roshni woke up early, feeling fresh and well rested. It was a bright morning with birds chirping, loud temple music, and the morning sun rays piercing through the window. Deepak was still asleep, so she quietly closed the windows so the bright light and the music did not bother him.

She got ready and came to her babuji’s picture and asked for his blessings, as she was ready to release her design that day. Then she went to the pooja room, and as was her routine, she cleaned the room, lit the oil lamp and the incense, and prayed to Devi Maiya and Shirdi Baba for their blessings with the release of the design.

Kaki had made chai the way she preferred – fresh ginger, cinnamon and cardamom. A fresh cup of chai in the morning was refreshing. Roshni was getting ready to leave when she heard Deepak come down. Roshni brought him chai, and as he enjoyed the chai, he asked Roshni if he could drop her at work. Roshni was hesitant and made some excuses, but to no avail, she had to give in.

Roshni had brought her babuji’s car after his death to Sashank’s house. She asked Deepak to take that car since Sashank would need his vehicle. By this time he had become familiar with driving on Mumbai roads and also remembered the directions to Roshni’s office, so he did not need any help with navigation.