Love after Marriage (25 page)

He came to her and said, “Roshni, I can understand you being angry with me. To a certain extent, I am responsible for your babuji’s death as well, but you made me realize a lot of things…especially my opinions regarding marriage and life partners – all changed. Thank you, I am so happy to see Sashank bhaiya married, and now you are embarking on getting Akash bhaiya married, so impressive. I do not know if I can ever repay you for this kindness other than asking for forgiveness and…and…”

Roshni waited very curiously.

He held her hands. “Over these last few months I’ve thought a lot about our relationship and all that you did. I…I cannot forgive myself until you forgive me,” he said. “Roshni, please forgive me, will you?”

He wanted to convey his feelings to her, but she was not ready for this.

Roshni pulled her hand away. “Deepak, what is done is done. Let’s not brood over it. You have your life to move on with, and I have mine. We made a decision regarding our relationship, and I don’t regret it at all. I have a mission until December 14
^th
, a few more months, and I will try to fulfill my promise. If I can’t, that is fine. At least I have accomplished a major goal of making Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya happy.”

Roshni believed he was real when he shared his feelings towards her. She thanked him for opening up his past that bothered him, but she was not ready to forgive him yet! She was beginning to accredit him and honor his feelings, but she was inhibited. She could not let go of what he had done to her.

For Deepak, Roshni was too precious to let go. He wanted to continue this relationship with her. He made every effort to patch things up with her and bring her back in his life; however, Roshni was determined to leave him.

She looked at the clock, and it was past midnight. “It’s very late. Let’s sleep. If necessary, we can discuss this more tomorrow,” she suggested.

“Roshni, can I suggest something? We are both adults; why don’t we sleep on the same bed, maintaining this distance. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Roshni glanced at the bed and back at him. He pleaded, and she trusted that he wasn’t faking. She agreed, and both slept on the bed, maintaining their distance.

This was a remarkable trip indeed. Unawares, they opened up to each other, and certainly, both felt relieved after this.

Roshni fell asleep very soon, and Deepak admired her. Her beauty, her peaceful smile – he could not resist appreciating her qualities. Everything about her was beautiful. How could he not see all this before?

~ ~ ~

The next morning, Roshni woke up and turned on her side. Deepak was asleep. The previous night came back to her, and she believed he was sincere when he apologized to her. She felt relieved. Deepak apologized to her, and she opened up to him regarding Babuji and was glad Deepak provided the support. However, she struggled with a dilemma, an unknown fear: should she forgive him? She was not ready to forgive him yet!

With these thoughts, she looked at the clock – 8 a.m. She got up without disturbing Deepak and got ready.

She went to the reception area and brought two cups of chai to the room. Deepak opened his eyes and watched her from the corner of his eye, still lying down. She was not aware he was awake.

She settled herself on the chair and read the newspaper, occasionally sipping chai. The chai did not taste as good as she had expected, but she tolerated it. Deepak was enchanted by her simplicity; he just lay there and watched her. The desire to have her back in his life became stronger.

He got up, and after the morning chores, joined her for chai while they discussed the plan for that day. They agreed to leave after breakfast and get the shopping done before they went home. Roshni agreed to go out to a dinner date with Deepak that evening. Her every word was like nectar for him, so pleasing and so satisfying! He did not want to miss any opportunity.

At breakfast, Roshni initiated the conversation. “Deepak, I wanted to tell you something.”

“What?” He waited eagerly.

“As you have seen, Sashank bhaiya, Akash bhaiya and Kusum didi have become very attached to me, and me too. I had only Babuji with me always, and now that I am living here with everybody, it feels very nice, a nice family feeling.”

Deepak nodded and agreed with her.

“When I decide to leave, it might become very difficult for all of us to stay away from each other, so…”

This statement hit Deepak like a big, hard rock. He was nervous to hear what she had to say.

“I talked with Mr. Gupta, our director. Our firm is collaborating with a firm in Bangalore on a project. They need somebody from here to train their professionals and work with them, and I have accepted this assignment.”

Deepak was terrified of losing Roshni. He envisioned his task of winning her back becoming more challenging. “What? I mean, have you discussed this with Sashank bhaiya and Kusum didi?”

“No, I wanted to share this with you first. It is a project for four to six months. I have to be in Bangalore in July or August, and the project ends in December or early next year. This way, I can leave your house without any hassle, and nobody will suspect. I will continue to stay in Bangalore as long as the project needs me. I hope when you return next time with your wife or girlfriend, you can convince the others at home to accept her. I don’t have to come back to this house. When my project is finished, I can go to my house…Babuji’s house.”

To hear her say this was traumatic. He never expected this move from Roshni. With a raised voice, he said, “Roshni, are you out of your mind? Do you know anybody there? Where will you stay in Bangalore? How will you stay by yourself? It is a new place for you, and I don’t think it is a good idea for you to leave Mumbai and stay by yourself.” He pounded questions at her. The thought of losing her panicked him!

Roshni sensed his concern; he was perturbed. She observed that he’d developed feelings towards her, but her question was, “Are these genuine or is he trying to please somebody?” She was confused and needed more assurance from him before she trusted him.

“Deepak, please try to understand. This is such a great opportunity, both career-wise and personally too! And it works very well with what we talked about in December. It is a good transition for me to be out of your house and for the others to accept me not being around.”

Of course, she was attached to all of them, and this made her sad. “I am concerned. Sashank bhaiya and Kusum didi treat me as their daughter and will never let me go otherwise. Akash bhaiya is concerned for his sister…that is me. Under these circumstances, I cannot leave. You have to understand and support me. After all, they do not know what transpired between us!”

“No,” he said emphatically. “I will not listen to anything you say, and I do not approve of this move. You will not leave Mumbai, and,” he looked straight into her eyes, “you will not leave this house until…until…” He stopped; he did not want to inform Roshni of his plan of applying for her VISA to the US.

He stumbled and could not find the right words to convince her to stay. “Roshni, please don’t leave the house. I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he said, pleading with her.

“But…but…Deepak, please–”

He interrupted her, “I do not want to talk about this anymore. Let’s talk about something more pleasant and happy.”

Roshni did not want to confront him with the topic of their marriage and forgive him yet! Deepak, on the other hand, did not want to discuss her leaving the house; he was fearful of losing her! Both had their weaknesses and were hesitant to deal with them. Would they ever confront each other with these issues?

He hesitantly suggested, “So, do you want to go shopping?”

“No, I am not interested in shopping,” she snapped back.

“Fine, I want to buy a few things to take to the US; let’s look for them.”

Roshni, with a surprised expression, asked, “Here, in Lonawala?”

“Yes, what is the problem? I think we can shop here too.”

Roshni nodded her head. He’d behaved like a little child for those few minutes, and she smiled to herself. She began to get glimpses of his personality. With his behavior, he had established he could not handle stress very well. She had a few examples to prove this. He was upset with the thought of her going away, and this was visible in his expressions.

Finally she said, “Okay, Deepak, will you listen to me if I suggest something?”

“Yes, go ahead – other than you talking about going away to Bangalore.”

“After breakfast let’s drive back to Mumbai. Once in Mumbai, let’s go shop for your items and then go home.” She was handling things better than he was.

Deepak confirmed that she still had the dinner date with him, and she agreed. They left after breakfast and talked about their work and projects. Deepak shared his lifestyle in the US, and it was all fun and enjoyable and, more importantly, very relaxing for both.

~ ~ ~

As they got closer to Mumbai, Roshni asked for the list of items Deepak wanted to buy. He mentioned a few things, and she took him to a sweet shop.

At the sweet shop, Roshni noticed Deepak bought several varieties, and out of curiosity, she asked, “Deepak, pardon me for interfering, but do you really need to get so much? How many people will you share all these with?”

Deepak smiled and came to her. “Roshni, I am going to keep most of these for myself.”

Roshni opened her eyes wide in surprise. He sensed this and with a smile said, “Roshni, do you know I like sweets? So whenever I feel like eating something sweet, I will eat these and think of these sweet moments with you.” He tried to be romantic with her.

She was taken aback. “Deepak, these sweets don’t last too long; I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Again with a smile on his face. “If you say I cannot take these, then I won’t.”

He called the vendor, but Roshni pulled him aside. “Deepak, please stop it. What are you doing? Okay, fine, go ahead and buy what you want.”

He smiled at her. He was happy to see her in this mood.

They purchased sweets and then bought some spices. He noticed Roshni quietly watching him, and he approached her. “Roshni, how come you’re so quiet now? Aren’t you going to stop me from buying these spice powders?” He smiled at her again.

He was in a jovial mood and had fun joking with her. Deepak bought a gift for his boss, and after all the shopping was done, they stopped at a restaurant for an afternoon snack and chai, then returned home. Both seemed very happy, and the people at home noticed this.

Deepak shared the snacks and sweets he bought with everybody and went to his room. He had received two parcels to take with him to the US. He hated packing and tried to procrastinate, or rather, he hoped that Roshni would join him and help him pack. This was his strategy, anyways!

Chapter 19

Deepak prepares to leave for the US after Lonawala trip

Deepak pulled out his itinerary and reviewed it. His flight was at 10:15 p.m. the next day. He mumbled to himself, “I have time to pack in the morning. I don’t have to worry now!”

Roshni walked into the room to freshen up and noticed all the items scattered all around the floor. He read her expression. “I will pack all this tomorrow morning. I have time until evening,” he said.

She did not say a word. She went into the bathroom and came out fresh.

Deepak waited for her. “Roshni, what time shall we go for dinner?”

“Deepak, we just came back from our trip. Do we really have to go out for dinner? You’re leaving tomorrow. Why not spend time with the entire family?” she suggested.

Deepak sensed her reluctance to go with him. “Roshni, you promised to go with me for dinner tonight, and we are going. That is final.” Then he came closer to her. “Please don’t change plans on me.”

He was semi-formally dressed, and Roshni suspected he was taking her to a formal restaurant and wondered if she was appropriately dressed. He read her expression again and nodded that she was well dressed and complimented her for her choice of dresses.

Their relationship had grown to an extent where each of them could read each other’s expressions, a great improvement, indeed!

Arriving at the restaurant, they were seated at a table, and Roshni experienced a candlelight dinner with Deepak again.

Deepak became more aware of the fact that she was preparing herself to leave this house and him. Her decision to leave him had not changed. He’d tried to regain her confidence in this trip, but not much improvement was seen. There was a lot of hesitation from her side.

He remembered the conversation he’d had with Vivek and Vaishali: “She felt deceived and betrayed; regaining her confidence will not be easy.”

After a few minutes into this trance, he counseled himself,
I will regain my credibility and her confidence. It may take longer, but I will be patient. I can think of options after I go back to the US, but I am not going to ruin this evening.
He returned his attention to the restaurant and Roshni.

They enjoyed the food, and after dinner, Roshni was pretty quiet in the car, so Deepak decided to venture some questions.

“Roshni, are you unhappy because I’m leaving tomorrow?” he asked and smiled.

Roshni looked at him. “What? Why would I feel unhappy?”

Deepak shrugged his shoulders. “You’ve been so quiet, just wondering.”

“Deepak, there are so many other things I can worry about, why this? Moreover, I know my stay here is very temporary, so why should I feel sad?” she remarked.

These statements instantly pricked him deep inside. “Roshni, why do you have to say such things and mar this beautiful evening we spent together?” He meant it. He’d enjoyed the beautiful time they had together and did not want to ruin it.

“Thank you for dinner, but…but…” It was futile to argue, and she made no further comment, especially since he was leaving the next day.

“Roshni, I am disappointed,” he said.

“What did I do?”

“I am disappointed. You never wore any of the dresses or jewelry that I gave you for your birthday. Why not?”