Love after Marriage (11 page)

Vivek initiated the conversation. “Deepak, is everything all right with your marriage?”

Deepak looked at both of them. “Not really,” he responded.

Vivek and Vaishali looked at each other and then towards Deepak; they waited for Deepak to share his concerns.

Deepak sighed and narrated the entire story: how he and Sashank bhaiya disagreed on the marriage philosophies, and how everything was already settled by the time he arrived in India.

Vivek and Vaishali listened to him very intently, throwing occasional glances at each other. So far so good.

Deepak narrated his conversation with Roshni on the wedding night. Vivek and Vaishali were stupefied. Deepak said such things to Roshni on the first night itself!

Vivek ran his fingers through his hair. He was dismayed and studied Vaishali’s reactions. “Deepak, did you really say all this to her?”

Deepak nodded. He continued, “I did not mean to, but…”

Vaishali exclaimed, “Oh my God, how did she respond?”

“She felt betrayed and offended.”

Vivek could not be quiet. “I am not surprised. Deepak, what…I mean, why did you have to talk about your views on marriage that night? I can’t believe you really said all this to her. What else did she say?”

“She asked if I was interested in somebody else.”

He admitted to Vivek that he’d talked about Karen Foster to Roshni. Vivek was aware that Deepak had showed some interest in Karen, but Deepak had never talked with Karen.

Vivek and Vaishali were very furious at Deepak for his immature behavior. They shook their heads; it was unwarranted for Deepak to reveal anything about Karen, especially when he was not sure himself. Vivek and Vaishali were speechless.

Vivek asked Deepak how Roshni had reacted to all this, and Deepak revealed every detail. He mentioned how she’d conveyed that she did not have faith in him anymore and that she had no respect for him.

Vivek and Vaishali stared at each other.

“Deepak, why did you do this?” Vaishali asked. “Bhai saab, what were you thinking?”

Vivek lectured Deepak regarding how stupid it was for him to discuss all this with Roshni, especially since that was their maiden night after marriage and Roshni had trusted him and his family and agreed to this wedding with responsibility and dedication. On the other hand, Deepak had behaved so immaturely.

Vivek and Vaishali were agitated, and they wanted to know what happened next. Deepak gave them the details regarding his trip to Vaishno Devi with Roshni, their conversation that night in Jammu, and how Roshni decided to separate and end their relationship.

Vivek stroked his chin in despair. He was not happy at all. Vaishali and Vivek looked at each other with expressions of disbelief.

Deepak continued to tell them how she had requested time to fulfill her promise to her father and asked for one year’s time, after which she was out of his life and house. She suggested that they pretend to be husband and wife until this time. He also narrated the incident with the power of attorney papers: she wanted him to apply for divorce here because it was faster.

After all the conversation was over, there was absolute silence in the room.

Vaishali felt sorrowful. “I can’t believe all this happened. My thoughts are with Roshni.” She looked at Deepak. “Deepak bhai saab, can you even imagine her mental trauma when you mentioned being forced into this marriage – all her dreams shattered, a big blow to her morale and self-respect. I can’t even imagine the stress she went through and what she is going through now. If it was me, I would have been thinking of committing suicide.”

Deepak was worried. He wondered with fear if Roshni would really take that step; he could not forgive himself if any such thing happened.

“She appears to be very mature and…and I feel for her!” Vaishali added.

Vivek could not stop. “I agree with Vaishali, Deepak. Everything you said was absolutely not necessary. Any girl would feel anxious and degraded; I completely agree with Roshni if she does not credit you or revere you. You have really caused a lot of hardship to her. It is evident she does not want to continue this relationship with you.”

Vivek moved back on the sofa and nodded his head, wondering how and why Deepak behaved as such. This was not typical of Deepak, and he was very disappointed in him.

“So, Deepak, what do you plan to do now? Roshni was smart, and she already made her decision. What about you?” asked Vivek.

Deepak was quiet. He’d already destroyed Roshni’s self-esteem and their relationship. He shook his head and indicated his mind was muddled; he did not know how to proceed.

He paused, looking at both of them. “I know I messed up. I was stressed, and I wanted to share my feelings, and unfortunately, I blurted it out in front of the wrong person at the wrong time.” He sighed. “It bothered me a lot…it was no fault of hers. Believe me; I tried to explain to her, but…but…” He was silent for a few moments as he recollected. “One thing I became aware of is that she is decent and virtuous, and my next move has to be carefully planned out.”

Vivek interrupted him. “Good, at least you understand that. Deepak, you stayed with her for about ten days after the wedding; what is your take on this? Do you want to end this relationship or…?” He wanted to ask if Deepak had any interest at all. “The ball is in your court now.”

“Vivek, I mentioned this to Roshni as well that I needed some time to digest all that happened.” He got up from the sofa and took a couple of steps, then turned to Vivek and Vaishali. “Yes, I was not sure of arranged marriages, I was apprehensive, but if I went looking for a girl, I would not find anyone better than her!”

Vivek and Vaishali exchanged looks, thinking,
At least there is some hope.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, you seem to have developed some liking for her, whatever the reasons, is this true?” Vivek asked Deepak, a very blatant question.

Deepak acknowledged that he definitely valued her for all her qualities. He continued, “I definitely did not make a decision like her to separate or divorce, but now…will she continue with me as her husband? She does not confide in me or respect me – she did say this in anger – but she was very clear on this.”

He sat next to Vivek. “And I talked with her before I left. We discussed a few things; I apologized to her and asked her for some time.”

Vivek and Vaishali waited to hear her response.

“She mentioned at the end, ‘Time is a good healer. Let’s wait and watch what is in store for us!’ For a moment I was relieved that she may be open if I made all attempts. What do you think?” He was genuine when he asked this question to Vivek and Vaishali.

Vaishali responded, “Deepak bhai saab, Roshni is wounded at this time. She does not want to listen to anything you say, and I agree…give her some time.”

“I agree. Her wounds are very raw at this time. Anything you say now will be a wash. By the way, just checking, did you call them and inform you arrived safely?” enquired Vivek.

“Yes, I did. I talked with Sashank bhaiya.”

“Did you talk to Roshni?” asked Vivek.

“Yes, for a couple of minutes, she hung up after a couple of minutes.”

It was already 7:30 p.m. “Let’s leave this here, and Deepak, you need to come up with a plan to deal with this, very soon before it is too late,” Vivek said, assuring Deepak of their help, if needed.

Deepak listened.

“Roshni pushed the ball into your court. She is not interested in playing this game anymore. It is up to you to establish yourself and bring her back in your life…if you are interested,” Vaishali added.

Vivek agreed with Vaishali, and Deepak shook his head. He understood.

“Deepak, by the way, some news for you; Karen has given her two weeks’ notice and is leaving. She is going to her boyfriend who lives in the Boston area! Does that have an effect on you?” Vivek said sarcastically.

Vivek continued his dialogue, “It is easy to get infatuated, but accepting somebody as your life partner is different. Arranged marriages can be successful.” He got lost in thought and stopped abruptly.

Deepak knew Vivek and Vaishali had an arranged marriage. They had their share of arguments, but now they were a happy couple.

It was dinner time, and Deepak ordered pizza. He gave them the parcel that Vivek’s parents sent and also the shawl and kurta. He explained to them that the shawl and kurta were purchased in Jammu as a gift, and he further elaborated and explained how thoughtful Roshni was in getting these for them and his other family members. He said it with respect and pride.

Chapter 9

Roshni’s Trials and Tribulations

It was Sunday morning, and Deepak had left the previous night. Roshni had not woken up yet. Sashank was concerned for her and sent Kaki to check on her. Roshni was all right; she lazed on the bed, the sun shining brightly and bringing in a ray of hope. Roshni reaffirmed to herself the promise she had to fulfill and got up. She went to the bathroom, scooped water with her hands and rinsed her mouth, then she splashed fresh water on her face. She looked into the mirror, wiping her face with a towel – the affirmation came back to her – and with hope, she walked down to the kitchen.

As things returned to normal in the Vermas’ residence, a major change was that all the family was at the dining table during meals. Deepak had initiated this, and now it was Roshni’s job to foster and nurture this habit. Deepak called in the evening to communicate that he had arrived safely, but Roshni showed no interest in talking to him.

Days passed, and Roshni became more comfortable living there and dealing with Sashank and Akash. Kaki played her part in helping Roshni and the brothers understand each other. Roshni took maximum advantage and made every effort to understand these two brothers – a step forward in fulfilling her promise.

Roshni quickly became familiar with the household routine. Sashank woke up in the morning and, after his morning chores, did yoga for a few minutes. After his shower he did pooja and prayers for a few minutes, read the newspaper or watched the news on TV, then had breakfast and a second cup of chai. Some days Akash joined him, but most days, he ate by himself. Sashank left for work by 9 a.m. and returned by 5:30 p.m. After chai and evening snacks, he went for a walk and watched TV in the evening after dinner. Weekends were slightly different, and Sashank, in addition to his walks and yoga, went grocery shopping at Sabzi Mandi and bought vegetables and fruits. He did this once a week with either Lakshmi or Kaki and seemed to enjoy this chore.

Akash woke up at around 7 a.m. He left for work between 8 and 8:30 after breakfast and chai. He came back around 6 p.m. He held a decent position at an accounting firm and was compensated very well. He also contributed to help with family expenditures. After he returned from work, he left within half an hour to attend a spiritual discourse or meeting. He came home late and took his dinner alone since everybody else would have retired for the night. He kept to himself, never interacting much with the others. Most of his friends were married, and he didn’t socialize with them, having nothing in common. He kept himself busy reading books. The only expenditures for Akash in addition to paying Sashank every month were his conveyance and the purchase of spiritual books. He had great collection in his room.

It became obvious to Roshni that these brothers were quiet, and there was some sadness in the family. Both brothers earned decent salaries, so there was no dearth for finances. Kaki helped manage the house well with Lakshmi, so housework was taken care of. Kaki was busy with cooking, and Lakshmi came in the morning and was busy with her chores – sweeping the front yard, sweeping and mopping the house, cleaning dishes and washing clothes. Lakshmi helped with chopping vegetables, making the dough for chapathis, and similar work to assist Kaki.

However, both brothers appeared sad and depressed. They never opened up very easily and especially not with Roshni. She was new in the house, and she never expected them to be friendly with her. Each of them did their own routine activities with little or no interaction with others. There were a couple of times when Roshni tried to interact; Sashank at least talked to her, but Akash definitely was not interested in any conversations with her. It was very quiet around the house even with everybody present.

Roshni grew up with her father, and Rahim chacha helped with household chores, but the house was vibrant, always full of energy and happiness. So this was a challenge for Roshni; trying to find out why these two brothers felt dejected and change them to be more accepting of the circumstances and be cheerful.

Roshni gave this a little thought and came up with a plan for her first try.

She participated in activities with both brothers to interact with them. She liked to do yoga, so she convinced Sashank to let her join him for yoga. When possible, she went with him for walks and to the market for grocery shopping. Roshni took over the pooja room activities, and this gave Sashank extra time to spend with her during pooja and morning prayers. Gradually she made Sashank more comfortable so he talked to her, spent time with her, and they discussed various topics.

There were several occasions when he snarled at her in anger and asked her not to interfere, but Roshni was persistent. They argued several times. She felt awful and dejected, went to her room, stayed up all night crying, but never gave up. She was demeaned and derogatory remarks were made again and again by Sashank. She was asked to go away to her father’s house a few times, but Roshni tolerated everything to keep her promise.

There were times she felt like running away to her father, questioning him for why he chose Deepak to be her husband, wanting to discuss Sashank and his behavior, but she never did. She never discussed it with Deepak either and suffered internally. The only outlet for her was to cry in her room, and she spent many sleepless nights. All the thoughts and conversations haunted her. She was worried that if she communicated this to Babuji, he could not withstand this, and…what if something happened to him? He was her only succor and guide at this time, and she could not afford to lose him.