Love after Marriage (12 page)

Roshni was persistent. She was after Sashank and tried different options to get closer to him, and finally she started to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Sashank was a nice person at heart, but past experiences made him react harshly. Subsequently, he opened up slowly to Roshni and let her participate in more activities around the house; both of them watched TV news or programs together and discussed those shows or news. They argued on certain topics because both had different opinions, but it was all in a friendly mood. Sashank became more tolerant of her and apologized to her for his rude behavior.

Since Deepak had initiated family lunches and dinners, she insisted that Sashank and Akash continue with this. With little hesitation Sashank agreed, but Akash preferred to eat alone after his return from a meeting or temple visit. Over time, with a few conversations with Akash, Roshni swayed him to have an early dinner with the family and then go out. Kaki did not have to stay up late, and Lakshmi was able to leave early.

Kaki, Sashank and Lakshmi interacted more with Roshni. Roshni carried so much positive energy; everybody liked her and felt very elated around her. She made everybody laugh, and the environment was jovial, and they felt relaxed. Sashank started to treat her as his daughter and became very caring and affectionate towards her.

Akash still had a few reservations. He ate with the others, but that was the extent of his participation with the family. Once Roshni won over Sashank, her next challenge was Akash. Akash noticed his older brother change and become more cheerful, especially when Roshni was around him. This triggered a self-introspection for him – was he being very rigid and adamant, could he be flexible and welcome people into his life, would people tolerate him?

Roshni spent more time with Akash. Occasionally she went with him to the temples or discourses. They discussed various topics, and he began to like her company. Of course, similar to Sashank, she faced opposition from Akash, but Roshni was used to dealing with Sashank, and she used the same tactics. If these did not work, she would try new tactics on him.

She swayed Akash to watch the spiritual channels on TV at home; Sashank also participated in these discussions. Gradually, she involved Sashank, Akash and even Kaki into these discussions, and Akash was elated. He was never aware everybody in his family was also interested in spiritualism; they participated and discussed these topics together. Kaki always gave her elderly perspective, and Sashank gave input based on his experiences. It was all a healthy environment.

Akash treated Roshni like his little sister and started opening up to her. He’d made that comment at the time of their wedding and now he began to prove it. When necessary, he volunteered to accompany her to other activities. On a few occasions, he volunteered to drop her off at work, and Roshni introduced him to her colleagues, and he seemed very comfortable around them. This was a big change in his personality.

So gradually in a couple of months’ time, Roshni won over Sashank’s and Akash’s hearts. Sashank and Akash respected her, understood her, and were friendlier with her. They opened up to her more without any inhibitions. The atmosphere was livelier in the house. Sashank and Akash smiled more and were cheerful, and there was more family time either at the dining table or watching TV or movies. Deepak called infrequently, but she tried to avoid him; she knew her limits. Kaki was very happy to notice these changes in the house. She was one witness who saw the good and bad times in this family.

On a few occasions all three went out to dinner or lunch. Both Sashank and Akash saw the other side of a woman’s personality…so caring, so full of love and affection, always in a jubilant mood, very compromising and never demanding. This was just the opposite of what they had experienced with their older sister-in-law. Nirmala always exhibited a selfish motive. Overall there was a great change; it was no longer a house but a home for Sashank and Akash.

However, on several occasions, Roshni felt that both these brothers felt lonely in spite of all that was going on.
Hmm
, she thought to herself,
they need a wife in their lives!

Prashant and other colleagues at work noticed these positive changes in Sashank. He was happier and more joyful; he interacted with others more frequently and always had a smiling face. The same was true with Akash. Things were going well at Sashank’s house. Sashank updated Prashant about Roshni quite often…so often that Prashant did not feel the necessity to visit Roshni.

Roshni on the other hand was depressed and often felt miserable, and she wept quietly in her room. A question constantly bothered her – why couldn’t she have a happy married life like other girls? She was very aware of the drama she played here as Deepak’s wife and a daughter-in-law and was aware of her limits. She reflected on the past, her conversations with Deepak haunted her periodically, and she became very dejected.

She reconciled herself to the fact that whatever happened, there was a reason, and it was in her best interest to accept this.

~ ~ ~

It was the end of February, and things gradually improved with Sashank and Akash. Akash spent more time at home with everybody, and both brothers became more accepting of Roshni and other women around them. They became more patient and tolerant of people around them.

It had been about two months since Roshni’s wedding, so Prashant decided to take Roshni for a couple of days to his house. He came home one Thursday evening and was delighted to see the changes in the family and how Roshni was working hard to fulfill her promise. He was very pleased and asked Sashank if he could take Roshni with him for a couple of days. Sashank agreed but was unhappy…Roshni had had such an impact on the entire family, and they would miss her.

Sashank put his hand around her shoulders and looked at Prashant. “This girl has done magic in this house. Look at us.” He pointed towards Akash and himself. “Have we ever been this happy before? Not in the last few years, at least. She has had such a great influence on us,” Sashank said and smiled.

He hugged Roshni and gently whispered, “Thank you, Roshni bete.”

Prashant was glad to hear this from Sashank and praised Roshni for her sincere attempts to bring this family together. However, he began to suspect that Roshni was not happy. Outwardly she appeared to be cheerful, but internally, there was a struggle. Something was bothering her. He wanted to find out if it had to do with her marriage. He also noticed that Deepak had not called as frequently, and this concerned him. He decided to talk to Roshni, but not in Sashank’s house. He would wait until they got to his house.

They were ready to leave when Roshni said, “Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya, promise me that you will come home early and have dinner together with Kaki and will take care of each other.”

Both brothers smiled at Roshni and promised her that they would behave well. She smiled and was happy to hear this promise from them, but somewhere deep within her heart, she was sorrowful to leave them. She had become very close to these two brothers. She recognized that Sashank and Akash were nice people, caring and affectionate; however, all this love and affection were clouded, and they refused to bring it to the surface and exhibit it. They were very kind and compassionate, but this was suppressed. She was relieved these qualities sprouted again in these two brothers. How she wished Deepak was there to watch these changes!

~ ~ ~

Babuji seriously suspected that Roshni was not happy. It was Friday, and Roshni came home very tired. Babuji invited her for chai with him. She joined him but was very quiet. Prashant took this opportunity to probe into her marital life and her relationship with Deepak. He started asking a few questions. She answered a few but tried to avoid some; this gave Prashant more hints. She was so tired and agitated, and Babuji asked her more questions about Deepak, and this did not go well. At one point she yelled at her babuji, “Babuji, what are you trying to ask? I am so tired; can you please leave me alone,” and she walked away.

Prashant was stunned. This probably was the first time she had done this to him, and his suspicion became stronger. He let her go and decided that he would engage in this conversation when she was calmer.

~ ~ ~

The next day was Saturday, and Roshni was in a better mood. She joined Babuji for breakfast, and they talked casually.

“Roshni, today is Saturday. Will Deepak call you?” Prashant asked.

Roshni looked at him. “I don’t think he will call here, Babuji. You heard Sashank bhaiya mention that he was busy with his new project.”

“So what? You are his wife. He should still find time to call you, don’t you think so?” replied Prashant.

Roshni blurted out, “Not necessary, why should he call me?”

“Roshni bete, what is the matter? Is everything all right? Are you happy?” Prashant tried to calm her.

Roshni tried to move away from her father. “Yes, Babuji, everything is all right. I am happy. Why do you ask this question so many times?”

“Roshni, look at me,” said Prashant.

Roshni refused to look at his face.

Prashant insisted, “Roshni, please look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me the truth. Is everything all right?”

Roshni had tears in her eyes. She tried to hide them, but Babuji noticed she was crying. He came to her, hugged her, and slowly took her to the family room so they could talk.

“Beti, what is the matter? You can tell me. It was my responsibility to get you married to Deepak, but something tells me you are not happy.”

Roshni fell on Babuji’s chest and started crying like a little child. Prashant tried to console her, and after a few minutes, she controlled herself. “Everything is not all right, Babuji.”

Prashant’s heart sank. He dreaded this. He wanted to know more and pounded several questions at her.

“Babuji, Deepak was not ready for this marriage. He felt he was forced into it,” responded Roshni.

“What! But why? I talked to Sashank, and this alliance was initiated only after Deepak’s approval.”

“Deepak does not believe in arranged marriages. He wanted to find his own girl! He was not ready to get into wedlock with a stranger.”

Prashant’s heart was racing; he trembled. A million questions, a great turbulence in his mind, he simply hugged his daughter. “I am saddened, bete. I absolutely had no clue. Does Sashank know of all this?”

“No, based on what Deepak told me, Sashank bhaiya does not believe in love marriages. Both brothers had some disagreements, and finally Deepak agreed to this because he did not want to disappoint Sashank bhaiya.”

Prashant sighed. “He could not disappoint Sashank, but he could upset you and ruin your life? Is this all right with him? Oh, Deepak – we could have avoided this marriage,” he said.

Roshni watched her father shatter completely. He took the blame for not probing into this, and she was torn to see her father suffer. She came to him. “Babuji, I had a long conversation with Deepak. I also discussed the promise I made to you about his brothers.”

Prashant looked at her with wide open eyes. “What did he say? How did he react? So what’s next for you both? Oh, Roshni, so many questions, I am very agitated. I am responsible for ruining your life, my dear. I wish I had some clue of this.” Prashant hugged her and cried.

“Babuji, you did what you thought was right. You found a good boy and got me married. It was not your fault, neither was it Sashank bhaiya’s.” She wiped her tears. “Probably it was all my fate that I had to go through this. There’s nothing you can do!”

“So what have you both decided? Did you talk about it?”

“Yes, I talked about it. Deepak wanted some time and requested some understanding and patience.”

Prashant became furious. “What? Understanding and patience! What was he thinking? Does he even have any common sense?”

Prashant was angry with Deepak. His daughter’s life was shattered. His convictions, his beliefs were torn to pieces.

“Babuji, I don’t know what he meant by asking for some time. However, I don’t want to continue to be married to him. He used me to please Sashank bhaiya, and this is disgraceful.”

She came closer to Prashant, looking at his sad face. “By God’s grace, you got me educated, and I have a good job. I can survive. I don’t need him.”

Prashant could not take this anymore. “Roshni, why are you saying this? Please, it pains me intensely to hear this. Shall I talk with Sashank?”

She instantly interrupted and shouted loudly, “No! Please don’t do this; it will cause more harm. It impacted you, and I cannot discuss this with anyone.” She continued after a pause, “And what is the use, Babuji? We will create more problems for Sashank and Akash bhaiya, especially now that they have become very friendly with me and have opened up. Did you notice? They seemed happier too.” Roshni smiled and waited for Prashant to acknowledge this.

Prashant shook his head and approved.

Roshni continued, “At least let me focus on these brothers at this time.”

Prashant wanted to know what was next for his daughter, and Roshni was careful; he’d had a heart attack earlier, and this conversation itself was a little too stressful for him. She tried to give as few details as possible. Finally, she took a deep breath. “Babuji, it is all over. Only time will tell. Let’s wait and see what is in store for me!”

Prashant admired the courage his daughter exhibited. He hugged her. “Roshni, I am so proud of you. You handled this so maturely, with so much confidence and courage. You can come and stay with me; don’t hesitate.”

Roshni mentioned to her babuji that she wanted to see more changes in Sashank and Akash, and if eventually they got married and settled, that was the biggest gift this marriage could give her.

Father and daughter hugged each other. Prashant assured her that he was always there for her. Roshni asked Babuji not to reveal this to anybody. That evening passed with Kusum visiting them. After dinner Prashant went to his room and started to pace – he was in a dilemma. How could he help Roshni? His only daughter, why did she have to go through this? He hoped for a good husband for her and wanted her to have a happy married life. Why did this have to happen to her? These questions disturbed him.