Loving Sofia (11 page)

“You are right, of course you are.  What would I do without you,” I cry as she hugs me one more time. 

“Ok finish your coffee then I’m taking you shopping and you can tell me all about this new job of yours.”

Mark

I lean against the wall and listen to what Mona is saying and it breaks my fucking heart in
a million pieces.  The one person that’s supposed to be on my side just told Birdie I’m no good.  How the fuck did this happen?  After last night’s kiss, I was ready to tell her everything. Instead I walk away, like I always do.  All because that fucker had to call and ruin it for me.   For us.  Who am I kidding?  I could’ve done something about it after she was done talking to him.  Maybe if I did, right now she would be sleeping in my bed where she belongs, instead of drinking coffee and talking about her future with Mr. Perfect. 

I pick up my phone and dial Jon’s number, half hoping he won’t answer.  I totally forgot about meeting him today
, but I know he won’t get butt hurt about it like Mona did.

“Hey man,” he answers, “about time you called,” he laughs.

“Sorry dude.  Let me grab a shower and I’ll head your way.”

“Sounds good.”

I hang up and go take a much needed shower.  I smell like smoke and alcohol; not a great combination, I tell you.  By the time I’m done and ready to go, the house is quiet and the coward in me is glad I won’t have to face Mona or Birdie.

Sofia

Is it crazy to say that I’m glad the weekend is over? As much fun as it was spending time with Mona, shopping with her is overwhelming.  She decided to check out every single store in the mall and buy pretty much everything.  At least that’s what it felt like.  By the time I got home that evening, my feet were killing me and I couldn’t wait to take a long bubble bath. 

Mark was nowhere to be seen and I welcomed the peace. Who am I kidding?  I was happy he was gone because I didn’t know how to act around him anymore. 
On Sunday, instead of using the washing machine at home, I shoved everything in my car and drove to the Laundromat.  The last time I did my laundry in a public place was back in high school, but at least I knew my way around.  So I spent my Sunday drinking Starbucks, reading books on my kindle, and doing laundry; very productive if you ask me.  By dinner time, Mark was still a no show and I ate Chinese food in my room while watching The Notebook on my computer.  Eating and crying.

…..

The traffic this morning is beyond crazy, and I pray that I make it to work on time.  Next time you’re stuck in traffic, make sure to check out the cars around you. I tell you, you’ll see some crazy stuff.  The lady on my right was putting makeup on with one hand and taking the curlers from her hair with the other.  The guy behind me was shaving, and the person to the front was eating and talking on the phone.  No wonder the freaking traffic sucks with drivers like these on the road.

By some miracle I make it on time
, and I rush to my office.  Everyone is there already and you can feel the tension in the air. We are working on a new marketing campaign and from what I can tell, it is not going too well. I don’t think I’ve been here for more than five minutes, when Lisa rushes out of my boss’ office, crying.  The old me would’ve jumped up to comfort her, but I learned that if you take sides it could potentially get you fired.  And so I hide in my office and pretend I haven’t just noticed my co-worker having a meltdown. 

“SOFIA!”

I shoot out of my chair and rush to Amanda’s office.

“Sit, sit, don’t just stand there like a statue.”

Well at least she’s not in a bad mood; haha, who am I kidding?! 

“Since Lisa decided to screw up one of the most important accounts we ever worked on, she is no longer in charge.  Effective immediately
, I want you to take over.  Make sure to collect whatever little notes and files she has and start from there.  Drop whatever else you’re working on and concentrate on this, understood?  You have exactly four weeks to get it approved and ready to be presented at the gala.”

I swear I see her lips moving but there’s no way she just said I’m in charge of that account.  No way in hell.  Is she kidding? 

“What?  What is wrong with everyone this morning?  Are you drunk, Sofia?”

“I’m sorry
, I just, I don’t, there’s just,” I make no sense but I can’t seem to be able to collect my thoughts. 

“There’s just?  You don’t?  Are you trying to annoy me on purpose?”

“Amanda, I haven’t been here that long.  I don’t know anything about that account.”

“That is exactly why you’ll get all the information from Lisa.  You think she’s smarter than you?  Trust me
, she’s not.  Now run along and get started. Time is money,” she winks at me and just like that, I’m dismissed.

What the fuck
just happend?  When I open her office door, everyone is looking over their cube, probably to see if I’ll burst in tears.  Lisa is standing by the little copy room watching with mixed emotions.  Is she going to be pissed that I took her account?  As if I had a choice.

I decide to finish my coffee before I have to face her.  My phone is buzzing and I see Bradley’s name flashing on the screen.

Bradley – good morning sweetheart hope u had a great weekend. Miss you. Let me know if we’re still on for dinner tonight

Me – hey sorry I was in a meeting. Dinner sounds good just let me know the details

Bradley – check your email. See u tonight

Me – k

With that, I finish my coffee and decide to go talk to Lisa before I lose the little courage I have; the sooner the better.  As expected, she’s pissed and since she couldn’t take it out on Amanda, I end up getting the wrath from hell.  I pick up all the notes, at least the ones she is willing to hand over, and after looking them over I totally understand why Amanda was so angry.  This girl pretty much did nothing, but that’s no longer important.  I will get this account approved even if it kills me.

I work through lunch and before I know it, it’s time to go.  Most of the offices are now dark
. I can’t even remember when Amanda left for the day.  I check Bradley’s email and to my surprise instead of a restaurant, he wants me to meet him at some home address.  I am not sure how I feel about being alone with him. Every date we’ve been on has always in public, thus making me feel safe. I don’t think he would ever do anything inappropriate, but I don’t want to take my chances.

The house is in a very influential area, surrounded by beautiful landscaping
, and instantly I feel out of place.  Before I get a chance to get out of my car, Bradley comes out of the house looking impeccable as usual. 

“Hello beautiful,” he leans in and kisses my cheek.

“Sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.”

“Hush, no worries.  Let’s get you inside before you freeze to death,” he leads me toward the house
, keeping his hand on the small of my back. Saying the house is beautiful is an understatement. It doesn’t even begin to cover the view, from the crystal chandelier to the shiny marble floors. Yet as beautiful as it is, I can’t imagine living here. It feels like a museum, sterile and cold.

We walk into the dining room and the large table is all set with rich china
. Tall crystal candlesticks are the only light source in the vast space. I should feel excited, but instead my stomach is trembling from the nerves. He pulls a chair out for me, unfolds the napkin on my lap, and then takes the seat across from mine.  Just as I’m about to speak, an older lady brings out a tray filled with what I assume is our dinner.  The food smells delicious and reminds me that I skipped lunch today.  Bradley fills our glasses with wine, and, once we’re alone, he raises his glass and takes hold of my hand.

“Here’s to us
, Sofi. You make me very happy just by being here. I hope one day I can share it all with you.”

Oh my
God what do you say to that? I am supposed to come up with something just as romantic, yet my mind is blank.  Nothing, nada, zilch.

“Cheers,” I say and take a big gulp of my wine.  He lets go of my hand
, but says nothing and I know he’s disappointed with my answer.  Dinner is really delicious and even as hungry as I am, I try to eat in the most lady-like fashion and prolong the inevitable.

“Sofia relax.  You look like I’m about to send you into the lion’s den.  I’m not an animal, you know?” 

I know he’s right and, once again, I feel terrible for acting this way around him. 

“I am afraid to relax too much, or I’ll end up falling asleep at the table,” I joke. “I had the longest day ever and I have a feeling it will be like this for a while.”

“Why is that?  Is that crazy boss of yours giving you a hard time?”

“Actually no.  She assigned me a very important account and while I’m grateful for the opportunity, I am also scared I won’t be able to meet her expectations.”

“Nonsense sweetheart. Why don’t we move to the living room and you can tell me all about it.”

The same lady that served us at dinner brings out a tray with coffee and petit fours
. Bradley pours the coffee as I start giving him the details of the account.

“Bradley
, I have never done any type of design or marketing campaign. Even if for some miracle I get enough information together, I still don’t know if I’ll have the imagination to pull it off.”

“Let’s start with what you know so far. From what you’ve told me
, this is for a charity event, correct? What else do you know about this company?” 

“Well the owner is in his mid
-fifties and until three years ago the company was owned by his mother.  He has several non-profit schools that he oversees, all very successful.”

“Are you by any chance talking about Steven Welsh?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“I believe I may have a way to help you a little with this project,” he smiles and
I immediately start feel more relaxed.  Can he really help me?

“All my contacts are at work
, but I can have my secretary give him a call tomorrow morning. Maybe we can all have lunch sometime this week.  Not sure what my calendar looks like, but for you, sweetheart, I’ll make the time.”

Watching him now, I remember Mona’s words from last Saturday.  Maybe Bradley is the right man for me.  I reach for his hand and slowly move my fingers over his.  He’s watching me now and his eyes are full of need.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why haven’t you settled down yet?  I mean, Bradley you are a wonderful man.  You’re obviously very good looking and very successful.”

“I was engaged once.  Things just didn’t work out.  You need to understand that I need more than just a wife, I need a partner. Someone who is comfortable with my lifestyle, someone willing to put up with my crazy schedule
—business lunches, dinners, and coordinating everything in between.  She was not ready to make the sacrifice, and I was not capable of putting her first.” 

He is once again watching me, waiting for my reaction and honestly I don’t know how I feel about his answer.  While I appreciate his honesty
, it makes me wonder if I could ever marry someone like that. Now I understand what Mona was talking about when she first met Jon.  She saw him not just as a potential husband, but someone who would blend in with her family seamlessly.

“I understand what you mean and I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you,” I say and
then pick up the coffee cup to keep my hands busy with something.

“I’m not. I wouldn’t be here with you now if things were different.” He takes the cup away and brings me closer.  “I think you are the one for me,” he breathes and touches his lips to mine. “Breathe Sofi, I’m not going to bite.”

There are no fireworks, not tingles, no warmth going doing my spine.  I find myself comparing his kiss to Mark’s and the truth is, there is no comparison.  I push the image of Mark to the side and concentrate on Bradley. He is the one that’s going to commit to me and take a chance at this whole marriage business.

I touch his face and he deepens the kiss some more, and before he has a chance to go further, I push him slightly away and take a deep breath. 
You can do this
.

“I better go, it’s late.”

“Ok sweetheart, let me get your jacket and I’ll walk you out.”

Sofia

I wake up late the next day and, once again, have to rush to work.  I swear all night I kept dreaming about work and my new project, making lists and files.  Really weird.  I crank up the stereo and sing along with Amy Winehouse. In spite of my lack of sleep, I feel pretty good.  I’m alive, healthy and working; what more could I ask for?

When I arrive at the office, everyone and their mother is in the small lunch room so coffee has to wait.  As I pass by, one of my co-workers turns around and gives me dirty looks, not that I care.  I didn’t take this job to make friends but to pay my bills
, and that’s just the reality of things.  In the past I always tried to be nice to everyone, and honestly didn’t really work too well in my favor. 

Amanda is off the rest of the week and I’m grateful for that since my plate is pretty full without her bothering me every five minutes with her requests.  I spend the entire morning on the Welsh project, getting up only for coffee
. As lunch approaches, I am pretty pleased with the progress.  I already have the budget set, the outline, and a few design ideas in mind. I’m all set for our upcoming lunch meeting.  Bradley kept his promise and when I got in, there was already an email waiting for me, letting me know he spoke with Mr. Welsh. 

I lock everything away, grab my bag and coat
, and head out for lunch.  Today I’m meeting Mona at the new deli across from my office.  She is not working and has all the time in the world, making it easy to come and go as she pleases.  I walk inside the deli and see her immediately.  As always, she’s impeccably dressed, not a hair out of place; simply beautiful. 

“Hi sweetie,” she says and kisses both my cheeks. 

“Am I late?”

She laughs out loud and grabs my arm
, leading me to the line.  “Not that I would notice, but no you’re just in time.  Hungry?  I know I’m starving.”

I can tell you, everyone is looking at us like we’re aliens
, making me blush all the way down to my boots.  Mona is as crazy as always, no care in the world, making fun of everything and everyone. We order the pastrami—since apparently that’s what they are famous for, and two bottles of Perrier and she pays for us both. The place is tiny and packed and we’re lucky to find a table next to a group of guys.  She smiles at them and they are all but drooling and ready to eat out of the palm of her hand. 

“So darling, how was dinner with Bradley?”

I feel a bit uncomfortable talking about it, but I know she’s going to keep on asking until I give her all the details.

“It was good.” Bon Iver is playing Skinny Love in the background and my eyes close involuntar
ily and I start humming along. 

“Birdie,” she pinches my hand, making me drop my sandwich in the process.

“What? Fine, it was great, not just good.  We talked about my work and he offered to help me.” I contemplate for a second if I should tell her his marriage theory. “He told me he was engaged once.”

“Really?  And what happened? Cold feet
?” she asks and picks up her bottle of water.  Before she even has a chance to open it, one of the groupies from the neighboring table offers to open it for her. She, of course, is all smiles and lets him help her out.  She thanks him and touches his hand slightly. I guarantee the guy just crapped his pants from just that one small touch. 

“Not cold feet, I guess she didn’t meet the marriage requirements.” I now have her undivided attention just as I knew I would.

“What the hell do you mean ‘marriage requirements,’” she asks louder than necessary, and everyone turns around to see what’s going on.

“Oh my
God, keep your voice down.  I wanna be able to come back here for lunch sometime.”  I relay the entire conversation from the night before and she’s just listening, eyes getting bigger. 

“Seriously?”

“I kid you not,” I say, amused by her shocked expression. “So since you know me better than anyone, still think I am the one for him?”

“You bet,” she replies immediately. 

“Have you not listened to a word I’ve said? There’s just something about him that doesn’t mesh.  He’s too, I don’t know, nice, I guess.  He’s very private when it comes to his job, and is always careful at how he acts and what he says.  Really strange.”

“Birdie
, you’re overthinking it and that’s not helping.  Men like him never stop wanting to go higher and higher up the ladder. Image is everything to them and that’s not a bad thing.  Jon is the same way when we’re in public. You just get to see the relaxed and fun guy. Just go with the flow and see where it takes you.  I mean, it’s not like he proposed yet, has he?”

She’s right as always.  Before long she changes the subject to something more fun, like her upcoming party, reminding me to invite Bradley.  I know Mark will be there too and pray things will not be awkward
. The last thing I want is to cause a scene at her party. We part shortly after and I rush back to my office, only to find Lisa sitting at my desk.

“What are you doing in my office?”

“Did you have a good lunch?” she asks sarcastically.

“Not that is any of your business
, but yes I did.  Now please leave so I can do my job.”

She stands up and moves around my desk, getting close and in my face.

“I’m leaving, but before I do, I want you to listen.  Think you’re all smart and have Amanda on your side? Before long she’s going to be out of here and let’s see who’s going to help you then.  Be nice and I might let you keep your job.” 

She brushes past me
, leaving me shaking and breathless. I don’t know what just happened, but I’m glad I locked the folders away before I left for lunch. I turn, close the office door, and sit at my desk, trying to regain myself. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a silly girl intimidate me over some stupid project.  Who am I kidding, not only did she intimidate me, but she left me wondering if there was any truth to her threats.  I send Amanda a quick email letting her know I’ll be working from home and call it a day.

Mark

I haven’t seen Birdie since the morning Mona came over
to our place.  This is the first time in a long while that I’m home before midnight, and as I’m parking the car, I’m surprised to see she’s home.  I check my watch and since it’s still early, I wonder if maybe something is wrong.

I rush in the house and call her name
. The first thing I notice is the aroma coming from the kitchen.  She’s cooking and my stomach is growling in anticipation.  I lean against the kitchen door and watch her. She has no clue I’m there, humming and swaying her hips to Mumford and Sons.  She turns around, screams with one hand to her chest, and the other throws the spoon in my direction.

“What the hell Mark, are you trying to kill me?” she yells over the music
, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry Birdie
, I thought you heard me.”

“That’s BS, and you know it.”

“Smells good.  Did you make enough for me too, or are you too mad to let me eat?” I am trying to lighten up the mood and I’m glad when I see the corners of her mouth coming up slightly.

“Maybe. You have time to change, wash or whatever.  I’m making lasagna so it won’t be done for another thirty minutes or so.”

“My favorite,” I say and go around to give her a quick hug.  She stiffens for a moment, but eventually she gives in.  I can smell her shampoo and try to memorize her scent.  Before long she moves away and starts chopping veggies for salad.  “If you don’t need any help, I’ll go take a quick shower.”

“Go for it.  I’ll call you when it’s done.”

I take longer than usual, washing and shaving, then change in jeans and a plain white t-shirt. She already set the table and is pouring some wine. 

“I was about to come get you.  I hope you’re hungry because I made enough to last us a month.”

I take a bite of my lasagna and I swear it tastes like heaven.  I tell her so and she just laughs. “You always say that, each time I make it,” she says. 

We talk about work and nothing else, keeping
it safe and easy.  After dinner I help her clean the kitchen and put the leftovers away.

“Wanna watch a movie?” I ask her. 
Please say yes, just this once.
 

“I would love to
, but I have to do some work.  I left early today and didn’t get anything done.”

“No worries, some other time.” 
Can she hear the disappointment in my voice?  I just hope I don’t look as pathetic as I sound.  She gives me a small smile and walks away.