Lucas: The Hunter Brothers Series (29 page)

I
took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, making my way up to his office and
berating myself for being such an idiot. I couldn’t concentrate and I needed to
sort this out. The green eyed monster had got the better of me again and I had
been accusatory and unfair, pushing open the office door to be greeted by a
smirking Melody who looked me over with momentary disdain.

“Is
he here?” I asked, trying to sound a whole lot calmer than I felt.

“Yes,”
she said as I made my way towards his office. “But you can’t go in, he’s with
Roberta and asked not to be disturbed,” she grinned as bile rose in my throat.
Part of me wanted to punch her lights out and storm into that office and find
out once and for all what the hell was going on. I knew Lucas well enough to
know he liked sex in his office and from the twisted smile that was firmly in
place on Melody’s face I knew that my hurt was written in every feature of
mine.

“No
problem, I’ll wait,” I snapped defiantly, walking over to my old desk, putting
my feet up and crossing my legs, looking over to the glass of Lucas’s office,
agitated and anxious. I couldn’t see in, but I hoped he knew I was there. If he
was balls deep in his ex-fiancée it might be enough to put him off.

“You
can’t sit there,” scowled Melody as I turned an angry glance on her.

“Says
who? I’m sure Mr Hunter will chastise me if it’s inappropriate,” I shouted as
she shook her head, turning to see Roberta glower at me as she exited Lucas’s
office looking absolutely thunderous. What the hell had gone on in there?

My
gaze followed her out before I turned to see Lucas standing in the doorway
looking furious, beckoning me inside as I swallowed hard. “Take the rest of the
day off,” he barked at Melody as I stood there trembling slightly. The door
closed behind him and he walked towards his desk without so much as glancing at
me, looking up eventually as I watched him closely.

“Sit,”
he said firmly, watching me intently as I rounded the chair and sat, the desk
providing a barrier between us and all I wanted was to touch the man sitting
angrily opposite me, resting clenched fists on the desk and staring silently.

 
“I know you’re angry with me and I’m sorry for
what I said. I was jealous, Lucas, and I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have and I
know that, but it’s really hard to control it,” I said, trying to ease the
tense atmosphere.

“Angry
doesn’t even begin to cover it. You have no fucking idea, Jess,” he said icily,
sending a cold shiver across my skin and I wondered for the first time if I’d
blown it completely. I’d brought our relationship to work and overstepped the
mark, shouted at him, phoned him, stormed into his office and broken more than
a dozen rules that were written in that damned contract. I’d also failed to do
the one thing he needed me to do above all else.

 
“You have acted in a way that displeases me
enormously,” he said. “It is not your place as my submissive to question me,
and how many fucking times do I have to tell you that we are exclusive and Roberta
is business?” he asked, staring at me so intensely it knocked the breath from
my lungs.

“What
are you going to do?” I asked quietly, hoping for a swift punishment and the
resolution of our strange relationship as he shook his head.

“Your
punishment will be abstinence. You will not see or hear from me for a week. If
you require me urgently for the business you may email me. That will be all,”
he said, as my heart sank, the blood draining from my face and I knew I’d
really fucked up. The last three days had been horrendous.

Abstinence
would be the greatest punishment of all, worse than pain, worse than anything
as tears pricked at my eyes, overwhelmed with sadness and guilt and wondering
if this week’s abstinence would signal the beginning of the end. It certainly
felt that way.

“Please
don’t, Lucas,” I begged as he shook his head, his eyes blazing with fury and
pain as I rose to leave, a million questions firing through my brain, but I
knew better than to ask them right now.

 
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, but he didn’t
even look up, turning to his computer as I walked away, pulling open the heavy
office door and holding back the tears just long enough as I stepped outside,
grateful that Melody was gone.

I
was desperate to know what had happened with Roberta and why every time I
turned around she seemed to be with him, but I couldn’t ask. I was determined
not to inflame the situation, contact him or email him and all I could do was hope
that he missed me as much as I would miss him.

The
day dragged. I was struggling to focus on work and as the seconds ticked to
minutes and the minutes into endless hours, I was certain this would be the
longest seven days of my life.

CHAPTER 23

I
was torturing myself, wishing I’d played things differently. I hadn’t seen or
heard from Lucas for over two days and I couldn’t put him out of my mind. I was
struggling to concentrate on anything and even Dexter had noticed, asking me what
was wrong all the way through last night’s movie. I’d made up some bullshit
about work; my finger hovering over Lucas’s number, desperate to call him, but
not daring to. It would only break another rule and agitate him further.
Besides, I wasn’t sure I could face the rejection. That would be the only thing
worse than imposed abstinence. I realised then that Lucas Hunter had burrowed
his way much deeper into my heart than I should have allowed, hoping it was him
as the phone on my desk rang out, startling me from my thoughts.

“Jess,
I wondered if you’d like to come for lunch tomorrow,” said the soft voice and
it took me a minute to realise
who
it was.
Melody.
Why the hell was she inviting me to lunch? The girl
hated me.

“We
didn’t get off to the best start and I’d really like us to get along. I thought
I’d offer an olive branch and treat you to a meal at Groucho, my way of
apologising for my behaviour,” she said as I frowned deeply.

A
big part of me wanted to tell her to go and fuck herself, she’d never made any
effort with me before, but a bigger part wondered if I might be able to tease
some information out of her about Lucas’s whereabouts. I hadn’t seen him in the
office and I’d been hovering in reception at the beginning and end of the day
in an effort just to get a glimpse of him, to see if I could read his thoughts
without breaking his ‘no contact’ rule.

I’d
even resorted to calling reception from my cell phone, adopting a different
accent and asking for him, just to establish whether or not he was actually in
the building. I was officially pathetic.

“Sure,”
I said eventually, her tone suddenly bright.

“I’ll
meet you there at one,” she said, putting down the phone as I wondered why we
couldn’t just get a cab together. I called Zac, deciding that I’d be back at
the club tomorrow to update him on the party. It wasn’t urgent, but it was my
usual afternoon with Lucas as I wondered sadly if he would be there, finding
himself a new partner to fulfil his desires. The thought made me sick to my
churning stomach. I was tormenting myself and it had to stop. This was the
serious downside of being a submissive and the time away from Lucas was proving
agonising.

I
thought about creating a fake work problem, endless possibilities racing
through my brain in an effort to get him down here; or at the very least hear
his voice or read his words. The need to please him was embedded far more
deeply than I’d realised, the thought of further punishment or abstinence
sending my stomach into a revolving spin. For the first time since we’d started
this whole thing I seriously questioned whether I was really cut out for it.

It
seemed so unfair; one person calling the shots as though I had no rights to
dictate what should happen between us. I’d been told my needs and wants were paramount.
That in return for my trust and my dedication to my Dominant, I’d be rewarded
and cared for, pleasured beyond measure but it certainly didn’t feel that way
now. Okay, I hadn’t shown trust, but the penalty seemed severe and all I felt
was abandoned and alone, with a sickening feeling deep in my belly that I’d let
down the man I was so desperate to please.

It
was playing havoc with my brain and doing nothing to stifle the suffocating
insecurity I’d been feeling for days, knowing that I couldn’t lose my head.
There was too much at stake. I needed another perspective, to speak to my
sister, but I could just imagine her reaction right now.

‘Fuck
him, he’s a dickwad. How dare he behave like this after everything you’ve
done?’ she’d say. I started to dial, putting down the phone before it
connected. I couldn’t face it.

By
late afternoon, a number of requests for parties had come in and running them
past my partner seemed like a viable reason to contact him. It wasn’t a problem
or urgent as such, but I couldn’t wait any longer, listing the events and
requesting his opinion. A dozen times I typed ‘I miss you’ on the bottom of the
email. I deleted it and repeated the process over and over again, until I
finally decided against it and pressed send, wondering if he’d even bother to
respond.

My
heart soared as the reply landed in my inbox almost immediately.

Come
to my office, now.

It
was impersonal and to the point, but it made my stomach erupt in a flurry of
excitement, knowing I would get to see him and slicking on some cherry red
gloss as I made my way to the elevator.

Melody
was out and I knocked quietly on his door, entering on his command and watching
him as closely as he was watching me. He gestured silently for me to sit, his
face utterly unreadable and it crushed me as I swallowed hard.

He
clearly wasn’t missing me nearly as much as I was him. I needed to hold myself together
professionally, having let myself down so much on the personal front. If he
decided that our relationship outside the office wouldn’t work, that would be
devastating, but I couldn’t afford for him to dissolve the business partnership.

I
took a deep breath as he set the list out on the table, holding my gaze and the
pull was so strong I forced myself to look away. Deep in his eyes I was lost,
and the feeling of abandonment was almost overpowering. I stared instead at the
printed sheet sitting on the desk between us, watching as his firm hand struck
out each event with his thick black pen.

I
had an idea why. Most of the proposals were accompanied by the request that
Lucas Hunter would be in attendance, in fact all of them were. Word had spread
quickly about Evangelista and Hunter Entertainments and it seemed that much of
London society would do anything to have him attend their gatherings, including
have me organise it.

“No,
no, no, no, no” he said as I stared at the page, feeling his eyes bearing down
on me, but I couldn’t look up. “Do this one, they are distantly related to the
royals and it will be a good showcase piece. It’s upmarket and will attract the
kind of clientele I’m aiming for,” he said, circling one and it took every
ounce of my willpower not to look up. So much for me deciding how the business
would be run, it seemed like Lucas already had it all figured out.

“Jesus
Christ, we are not doing a super sweet sixteenth,” he snarled, crossing one
request out with two thick lines and sounding suddenly incensed. I knew then that
coming here was a bad idea as I kept my eyes trained on that paper.

“That’s
it,” he said, shoving the list roughly across the desk to me as I took it, his
hand briefly touching mine, flooding me with emotion as I grabbed the paper,
thanked him and headed quickly for the door. I still hadn’t lifted my eyes,
hoping he would stop me and say something, anything that made me feel more
special than a mere employee as I turned the handle. I could feel his gaze
burning into my back, but he didn’t speak and the heavy silence finally broke
me.

I
wasn’t even back at my desk when the tears came.

That
had been torture and even worse than not seeing him at all. At least then I
didn’t have to face his rejection repeatedly and look him in the eye, only to
be discarded. I felt like it was over, but this was a punishment and perhaps it
was how I was supposed to feel. If we were over he’d have said it. He wasn’t a
man who held back or got hung up on emotion. There had been no words of comfort
in that room and it had only served to ram home just how unusual our
relationship was.

When
we were together at the club I felt a connection so deep and so powerful it reached
into my soul, taking me to the highest planes of pleasure that I had never even
known existed before Lucas. For him, outside of sex, there was nothing. If I’d
thought that night at the wine bar was a date I was wrong. He’d said himself
he’d spent the day with a raging hard on and no doubt just wanted a repeat
performance.

When
lovers argued they fought with passion and made up just as hard; at least
that’s what I’d read. If I fought with Lucas, I was punished, plain and simple.
I wasn’t his lover or his equal. I didn’t have a voice and I couldn’t argue or
answer back and I’d agreed to it all, signed up for it blindly, not knowing the
devastating effects this man would have on me.

The
worst thing was; I knew I couldn’t turn my back on it. If this was how it was,
then so be it, because the thought of being without him was like looking into
an endless black hole of misery and desperation and the only thing worse than I
felt right now.

I
moved through the day on autopilot, marking down the hours like some
interminable prison sentence and hoping that taking care of my little ray of
happiness at home would cheer me up. It was the only thought that got me
through the rest of the day.