Lucas: The Hunter Brothers Series (37 page)

“No,
baby,” I said as he frowned and pouted, staring at the floor and gripping the
photograph of his father tightly before putting it back in his bag. We rode the
rest of the journey in silence, until Lucas ended the phone call with school
and Dexter started to giggle.

“What
are you laughing at, squirt?” Chas smiled back at him as he cupped his hand
around his mouth to whisper. I wasn’t sure why he did that, we could always
hear him.

“Lucas
shouted at my teachers, it was funny,” he giggled again, as Lucas winked at him
in the rear view mirror. “Are you the boss of them?” Dex asked.

“Lucas
is the boss of everyone,” Chas quipped.

“Like
God,” gasped Dex as Lucas chuckled gently.

“No.
Not like God. Maybe a bit like Superman,” he grinned, pulling up outside the
apartment where the police were waiting for us and Dexter was staring at him in
awe.

I
couldn’t face them now but I’d have to. They’d need to interview Dex and Chas,
and probably Lucas to find out how he knew where he was. I couldn’t believe
he’d given him that phone behind my back. It was exactly the kind of behaviour
I’d predicted, but I couldn’t deny right now that I was eternally grateful that
he had.

He
helped us out of the car as we walked up the steps to the apartment. Dex was
climbing all over him as the police asked him question after question, until
Lucas told him to quiet down and think carefully and answer with as much detail
as he could remember. Dex did as he was told immediately, sitting beside Lucas
and answering the questions. He praised and encouraged him while Chas and I
looked on in silence from the doorway. Dex trusted Lucas already, revered him,
loved him and thought he was a frigging superhero as my heart clenched in my
chest.

“Can
I stay?” he asked when they’d left and I shook my head softly, pushing back the
gripping need in the pit of my stomach, unable to look at him as I stared at
the floor. He said nothing else, kissing my head gently as I watched him leave,
knowing with ever increasing certainty that it was too late for me. I was in
the hole and there was no way back. I was in love with Lucas Hunter and so was
my son.

I
forced Dex to sleep in my bed, despite his protests. He was a big boy now and
wanted to sleep in his own room, but I couldn’t let him go as he breathed
gently beside me, tossing and turning and no doubt dreaming of some magical adventure
with knights and castles. A small smile was fixed on his little pink mouth as
he thrashed out his leg and kicked me hard. I couldn’t help but laugh; swallowing
back the tears again as I thought about how differently tonight could
have turned out.

 
“Do you need anything?”Chas asked quietly,
poking her head around the door as I shook mine. I wasn’t ready to talk about
it yet, but I knew from her face she needed my forgiveness. I couldn’t do it
without her; any of it. She’d found us an apartment, helped me with Dexter,
cooked most of our meals and did the school run every day without fail or
complaint, and once she’d been late.
Once.

“It
wasn’t your fault, Chas,” I said softly as she gazed at the floor, looking
ready to argue for a second before deciding against it.

“Thanks,”
she said eventually, looking at Dex then across at me and I could sense there
was something else as she hovered in the doorway.

“He’s
been on the phone all night,” she said as I looked up at her without a clue
what she was talking about. “Lucas. He’s been on the phone all night, Jess. I
was wrong about him. He really cares about you and he really cares about
Dexter,” she said as I nodded. “You should call him,” she said, closing the
door softly, padding gently along the hallway as she made her way to bed, but I
couldn’t, not tonight. I was just too vulnerable.

CHAPTER 29

I
could hear their voices in the lounge as I woke from the worst night’s sleep
I’d had in years. I’d lay watching Dexter for hours, sending silent thanks to
heaven for his safe return as the events of the day replayed over and over in
my mind. Dexter was charging around as Lucas spoke to Chas, his voice deep and
low as I made my way through to the bathroom before joining them in the lounge
and I looked absolutely dreadful.

“Can
I get you some breakfast?” Chas asked as I shook my head and Lucas frowned up
at me from the couch, pensive and concerned.

 
“Come and sit down, Jess,” he said as I
followed his gentle command and he put his arm reassuringly around my shoulder
as Chas disappeared into the kitchen. I was staring at Dex as Lucas held my
chin, forcing me to face him.

“Dexter
is okay and you need to keep him in his routine, sweetheart,” he said as I
pulled away, shaking my head furiously.

“He
can’t go back to school today,” I shouted as Dexter’s head shot around at my
raised voice and Lucas stared at me intently.

“Listen
to me. You have been through a huge trauma, Dexter hasn’t. To him it was just a
walk in the park with his Granddad. The best thing to do to avoid creating
stress for Dex is to keep him in his routine. He should change schools, but not
immediately. You cannot just pull him away from his friends and everything he
is familiar with, despite what’s happened. It isn’t the right thing for him,”
he said firmly.

I
felt like I was suffocating with his words and I knew he was trying to help,
but it sounded as if he was trying to take over and decide what should happen
to my son without even consulting me. I was suddenly livid as anger rose from
the very centre of my stomach and I trained a fierce glare on Lucas.

“
Don’t
fucking tell me what I should and should not do with
my son,” I hissed through clenched teeth. “I’m his mum and I know what is best
for him,” I said glaring at him. His face was firm, stern even, but he wasn’t
shocked or angry, holding me in his piercing gaze with his fingers still
securing my chin.

“This
is professional advice, not my personal opinion and you can’t decide what’s
best for him now because you cannot be objective. You are too emotional and way
too traumatised and you need to trust me, Jess.” I pushed him away, looking to
Chas as she walked in with a tray of tea, placing it on the table as she
glanced at Lucas.

“Dex
needs some air. Do you want to come for a ride on your bike to the shops for
some chocolate?” she asked Dexter as he nodded excitedly and my eyes flew to
hers, fixing her with a steely gaze.

 
“He is NOT going out,” I spat as she looked at
Lucas and I could see him nodding from the corner of my eye.

“Grab
your coat, sport,” she smiled as Dexter ran through to the hallway, my face contorted
in anger as I stared at her hard.

“I
won’t let him out of my sight and Sid is still in custody. Listen to Lucas,
Sis, he’s right,” she said firmly as I shot her a horrified glance.

“I’m
sorry, Jess. I know how hard this is, but don’t make a scene it will only upset
him,” she said as Dex came bounding through, pulling on his coat and jumping
onto my lap, kissing me as I held him tight.

“Wear
your helmet,” I said, resigning myself reluctantly to the fact that this was
happening.

“I
will. Lucas says wearing a helmet makes you ride faster,” he said, high fiving
him and bouncing off the couch as I closed my eyes and tried not to cry. Chas
was staring at me.

“We’ll
be thirty minutes, not a second longer,” she smiled as I nodded, leaving with
Dex as I stood, trying to put some distance between myself and Lucas.

“You’re
angry right now and you need support,” he said as I moved to pour the tea,
spilling it across the table, my fingers trembling as I looked out of the
window watching Dex and Chas moving away down the street. He rose, taking the
teapot from my fingers, pouring the tea and chuckling softly. “Every time,” he
said, shaking his head as he looked at the mess, smiling at me and I couldn’t
help but laugh, my smile fading instantly as all my fears came flooding the
surface once again.

“Tell
me what’s on your mind,” he said firmly as I sat in the chair. I couldn’t be
too close and I needed to get this out, without the first damn clue how to
verbalise the thoughts bombarding my brain.

“You’re
going to take over, Lucas. You can’t help yourself and you are doing it
already. Telling me what I should do with him and forcing my sister to take him
out, despite the fact that you knew I wouldn’t like it. I feel like you’re bullying
me into stuff I don’t want,” I said, his face soft as I looked up at him.

 
“None of that is true, although I understand
why you feel that way today, Jess,” he said as I shook my head.

“It’s
not just today though, is it? You bought him a fucking phone and didn’t even
tell me, Lucas. That was sneaky and underhand and...” my voice trailed off. I
had never been so grateful for anything yesterday, and it wasn’t the phone
itself but the principle.

“And
a good move in hindsight if somewhat misguided,” he said, finishing my sentence
for me. “Listen, Jess, the kid wanted to call me and I didn’t think it would do
any harm. I didn’t tell you because you keep insisting on compartmentalising
and shutting me out. I get that it was stupid, and I understand why you’re
angry. I don’t like being told ‘no’ and you wouldn’t let me in, so I took
matters into my own hands. That won’t happen again,” he said seriously as I
shook my head.

Wouldn’t
let him in? Didn’t he know that he hadn’t just opened the door into our lives
he’d smashed through it and was more deeply ‘in’ already than I could even
comprehend myself? He had me and he had Dex, but I had to slow this thing down
for my own sanity. If he knew how I felt there would be no way back and I’d be
crushed under the weight of that determined will.

“The
advice about Dex has come from the trauma counsellor. He isn’t as deeply
affected as you are, but he’ll have questions that he needs to work through
from a child’s perspective. Normality is the best aid for that, Jess, and I
know you want what is right for Dexter. Keep him there until the end of term. I
know of a great school that’s incredibly secure and they will take him if you
decide that’s the best option,” he said as I stared at him open mouthed.

“Can’t
you see why I’m scared? Jesus, Lucas, you just can’t help yourself, can you?
Already you’ve spoken to the trauma counsellor, arranged the future of his
education and got them to accept him God knows where, and I’ve only just got
out of bed. You’re a whirlwind and I can’t keep up,” I sighed, starting to cry
as he walked over to me, pulling me hard against his chest.

“I
won’t apologise for that. As your Dominant it is my job to look after you. Right
now that means taking away the practical necessities, letting you know you are
supported and getting you the help you need whether you realise that is the
right thing for you or not,” he said as I looked up at him, stunned and
frowning. “It’s my job to look after you,” he said firmly, holding my gaze.

“Look
after me or railroad me, Lucas? Because that’s what it feels like,” I said as
he stared at me hard in frustration.

“I
am seeing what you can’t; dealing with what you won’t, and sorting out the
things you are currently unable to manage. Sit down,” he said in a tone that
brokered no argument and I followed his command out of habit.

“What
do you want for Dexter?” he asked, resuming his position on the couch as I
thought about it for a moment.

“To
put this behind him and to go back to school, but I’m scared and worried. I
know I won’t concentrate or settle if he’s not with me,” I said, wiping away
the fresh set of tears as he smiled softly. “I don’t want Sid in our lives. He
was a terrible father and he put Jake through hell. I need to keep Dexter away
from him, Lucas.”

“A
lot of that was about you, sweetheart. I asked you what you wanted for Dexter,”
he said as I swallowed hard. “You’re the one most traumatised. He just saw it
as an adventure. He never felt scared and he wasn’t harmed and he was the one
that stopped me from punching the bastard’s lights out. They were having a good
time when I found them, Jess. I sought a professional opinion because I knew it
would help, and I’ve spoken to the school. One wrong move and we will
prosecute. They won’t let him out of their sight. The other school is one I
know well. It has the highest security because it’s attended by the children of
some of the world’s most influential figures. I thought that would help to put
your
mind at rest,” he said as I stared
at him opened mouthed.

“Look
around, Lucas. If you’re talking about private school, which I can only assume
you are, I can’t afford it. Besides, he might not like it and I don’t want him
growing up being taught about entitlement and thinking he’s a cut above, just
because he’s surrounded by kids from rich families. We’re not a rich family,
Lucas” I said as he watched me closely.

“He
can go to Wetherby, then Ludgrove and then if he wants to Eton or Harrow. I
will fund it, Jess. I will pay for it all upfront,” he said as I stared at him
in wide eyed shock.

“You’ve
just mapped out my child’s entire future, Lucas. He’s staying at the primary
school down the road,” I said defiantly, knowing that at least one thing Lucas
had said was true. With the threat of legal action hanging over them, Dex would
be monitored closely from this moment on.

“Fine,
baby, it’s your choice, you’re his mother. I just wanted you to know there are
options and I will help you, whatever it takes,” he smiled as I wondered
momentarily whether I was being too hard on Lucas. Maybe he was only trying to
help, but it was so tricky, so confusing and I knew what was at the heart of
it.

“I
feel like we’re from different worlds and it makes me insecure,” I said as he
nodded, beckoning me onto his lap as I walked across to him without thinking.
My head was all over the place as he pulled me onto his knee, stroking my hair
soothingly and trying to reassure me.

“I
understand, Jess, but you’re putting too much emphasis on money. Usually the
chicks dig that I’m loaded,” he laughed as I shook my head. “Sweetheart, it’s
not the most important thing here,” he said when I didn’t respond.

“Money
isn’t important, Lucas, until you haven’t got any. Believe me, when you have to
choose between light and food, or heat and mending the holes in your shoes it
becomes pretty all consuming,” I said, sighing deeply.

“My
wealth puts me in the privileged position of being able to help in ways others
can’t. That is all I’m trying to do. I’m sorry for what you went through, but I
assure you, you will never have to go there again. We’re from the same world,
Jess, and don’t forget it, only don’t tell Dex – he things I’m from Krypton,”
he grinned as I laughed.

“Sometimes,
Lucas, so do I,” I said, shaking my head and thinking Superman had nothing on
Lucas Hunter as I hopped off his lap.

“I’m
going for a shower,” I said, desperate to feel human and move forward and put
yesterday far, far behind me.

“One
question, Jess,” he said, standing and pulling on his coat as I stopped and
turned, holding that incredible gaze. “Would you have the same issues if this
relationship were more traditional?”

I
swallowed hard, blinking rapidly, my heart swelling at the possibility as my
brain tried to shut it down. Would I? “I don’t know” I said quietly, trying to
read the expression on his face, but it was futile. He was unreadable.

“I’ll
see you later. Dex invited me for tea,” he smiled, turning and walking out of
the apartment before I could say another word.