Lust (21 page)

“Alexander, say something.” I placed my hand on his arm
and was stunned as he pulled away. He looked angrily at me.

Had what I had said been so wrong? I hadn’t denied him as I
had before, but he was clearly angry.

The pause seemed like forever. But when he spoke, he made
sure I knew who was in charge. “I have to say, you cease to
amaze me. Do you make this shit up as you go along? Wait,
it’s my turn to talk. Don’t interrupt me.” His tone was harsh as
he walked far from me now and sat on the edge of the lounge
chair on the veranda. “What’s your deal? Who fucked you over
so bad that you have these messed-up notions about who and
what you can be and when exactly you have to be them? What
world are you living in that would make you believe that you
can’t make sacrifices so that you can have it all?”

I was weakened; I never expected to be called out like this,
not by him. I was angry and sad all in one. He had my number,
and there was no talking through this.

He was pushing me harder. “Say something—anything.

You can’t have rules without explaining why the rules are in
place. I’ll play anything you want, but you’ve got to meet me
half way here. You have no idea how hard it is for me to feel
the way I feel for you, so trust me, you’re not getting sympathy
from me for whatever story you have. Just give it to me straight
and cut the bullshit.”

There was no bullshit. I had nothing. The anger I held
when we first met was coming back to me now. “I’m not giving
you bullshit. I have the God-given right to choose and decide
how I’m going to live my life. Who are you to say it’s wrong?

I’ve seen women, strong women, give up dreams and careers
and talents to be a wife and a mother. My own mother—you
know what? Forget it. I knew I couldn’t stand you from the day
I met you. Good night, Mr. Mason. You’ll have my letter of
resignation on your desk tomorrow morning.”

I stormed toward the glass doors to get into the bedroom;
there was no other way out but to rush past. But he was a foot
taller and probably had a hundred pounds of more muscle. He
stopped me at the entrance. He wouldn’t let me pass, and I
burned with fury.

“Let me through. I have nothing more to say to you. You
kept me here to embarrass me.” Unable to look at him, I kept
motioning to one side and then the other, hoping I could get
by.

He was determined to get to the bottom of it, to the core of
me, and he wasn’t letting me run that easily. He was angry, but
I was pissed. He continued to push the subject, egging me on,
playing therapist; I just couldn’t deal with this now.

“Do you think that even if I let you leave right now that
you’ll never run into this situation again? Your wanting it all,
your unwillingness to try, your fear of having to sacrifice anything
for it: you are fooling yourself into thinking that this is
protection. It’s not, Evangeline. All you are doing is blocking
yourself from feeling passion and desire and love.”

At any other moment with any other man, I would have
found a way to run at the word “love” being spoken, but I just
didn’t want to now. Seeing me helpless, he moved aside, giving
me way to leave; he couldn’t fight for someone who didn’t want
to stay.

Feeling his words burning in my stomach, my breath and
every thought stormed around what he’d said; my anger went
back to desire. I took one step forward into the door and then
paused; Alexander had grabbed my hand, gently holding it in
his own. His skin was so soft, warm…strong; I could imagine
that hand exploring every bit of my naked body and those thick
fingers penetrating me again.

Alexander pulled my hand slightly so I would turn, but I
could not look up at him. His voice was softer, less harsh now.

“Don’t leave. I mean, it’s three a.m. I can’t…It’s not safe for
you to go alone on a train or in a cab for an hour or more drive
home. Please, I have plenty of room. And if you don’t want to
be anywhere near me, then that’s fine. You can stay on the other
side of the house, just—it’s not safe.”

Right again!

He was right. I had neither the energy nor the mind to get
myself home right now, but could I stay here? Where had my
plans gone? Did I want to sleep on the other side of the house?

Alexander slowly slid his hand out from mine and let it drop.

He waited for an answer. Feeling beaten, I whispered, “Do
you have something I can change into?”

This couldn’t have been what he expected. He seemed
unsure of how to react. I was calm and so soft-spoken he
couldn’t respond. Nodding his head, he remained where he
stood. We waited for something to force us to move, but
the universe didn’t want it. There was complete silence all
around.

“Evangeline.”

The name made my breath catch every time.

Still looking deep into his eyes, he said, “May I ask you one
thing?” Alexander couldn’t seem to help himself. He had to
question it. I sensed he felt and shared my need and desire, so
why pretend it wasn’t there? He kept pushing me to the edge.

I gave him a gentle nod.

“If I were to tell you that you could have one thing right
now—anything—and that having that one thing wouldn’t affect
your life or future, that it would be frozen to have in this
one moment, just tonight, would you tell me what that would
be?”

God, yes!

With very little hesitation, and with a newfound smile on
my face, I dropped my clutch and jacket where I stood; I wasn’t
planning on saying a word. Lifting my arms and reaching my
hands behind my neck, I paused. Continuing to look directly at
him, never leaving his eyes, I unhooked the strap to the halter
dress. Holding the straps with both hands, I brought them to
the front and, with a gentle motion, released the straps; I let the
silk dress fall to the ground.

Still watching Alexander, I stepped out of the dress with
nothing left but a silk thong and five-inch heels. Alexander’s
lips parted, but I could not tell if he breathed.

Taking three graceful steps toward him, I raised my hand
to his neck and with one finger traced from his earlobe down
the side of his neck, reaching his collarbone, moving inward
toward his shirt collar; I slowly pulled his tie off and draped
it around my neck. The two strands of the tie hung perfectly
between my large, supple breasts, shaping the cleavage.

Reaching forward to the last few buttons on his dress shirt,
I undid what was left. Maneuvering my hands through the inside
of his shirt, feeling his chest from his tight abdomen up to
his chest and over his shoulders, I pushed the shirt off, adding
that to the dress on the floor.

Alexander’s expression showed he was perplexed, and I was
eager to reveal all of me to him.

Hoping to clear up the confusion in his eyes, I moved closer,
whispering, “You asked what the one absolute thing is that I
want, right now, for this moment. Well, Alexander, I told you,
you have to earn the right to call me Evangeline, and you have
freely used my name without having earned the right to do so.

So…” Taking his hand into my own, I guided his fingers toward
my mouth and smoothed them over my lips. Taking one finger
into my mouth and licking it wet, I guided his one hand over
my breast and the other toward my panties, where I stopped.

“Do you think you can earn it? Earn the right to call me
Evangeline?”

Alexander looked poised and ready for war. There was not an
ounce of intimidation in this man as he spoke. “Do you want me
to earn it? Say the words and I’ll earn a gold medal, but you have
to ask for it, Evangeline!” He knew he was getting to me, but seeing
me play my part so strongly must have made his cock twitch
in what was now a tight space in his pants. He was going to burst.

“I don’t beg, Alexander, and you shouldn’t provoke me.”

My voice was louder as I reached into him and cupped his hard
cock in my hand. “Now, since you asked me what I wanted, I’ll
give you a hint. See if you can do anything with it. All I want
right now is for you, Alexander Mason, to take me, violate any
and every part of me! And if you can give me that successfully,
you have the right to call me by any name and do what you’d
like with me. Can you do anything with that request?”

I inched closer to him, my breath purposely on his chest
and his hand still against my silk thong as I stroked his erection
from the outside of his pants.

Alexander’s look was dangerous, risky, and so hot. “You’ve
just made a deal with the devil, you know that? Keep to your
word, Evangeline.” He tightened the tie strands that hung by
my neck and pulled me hard against him. My hands flew up to
his chest as Alexander kept stepping back, pulling me toward
him, and following him, I surrendered.

Once he reached the stone ledge, his arms swooped under
me and lifted me up by my legs and pressed me against the
stone wall. I was fearful at first and exhilarated all at once. I
didn’t think I had pissed him off that badly that he would throw
me off the side of the building, but we were on the penthouse!

“Tell me if this scares you and I’ll stop.” I shook my head
no. “Good. Every part of you, you said, right? And then I can
do with you as I wish?”

I smiled from ear to ear. The challenge was exciting to
him and that thrilled me. “Alexander, let me tell you what
my favorite Latin word is.” His forehead crinkled, wondering
where that had come. “My favorite Latin word is lagneia,
which translates to uninhibited lust. That is what I want from
you, my one thing. So back to your question: yes, anything you
wish, desire, want, or need! And if all else fails, I get to do with
you as I please.”

Alexander’s head stood straight. “Wait, wait, you can’t add
rules in the middle of a game! You play dirty!”

I giggled at his choice of words. “You really have no idea
how dirty I play, but maybe we could give you a little preview
later. I have more Latin words I would love to teach you.”

Alexander’s eyes glistened with interest. “Why wait till
later? I’ll never be more ready than now.”

“Exactly. I’ll give you the ‘more’ when you least expect it;
the excitement is in the surprise.”

My words barely ended, and Alexander had me in his
mouth. He held me in his arms tightly, just like our first kiss,
our tongues thrusting in and out, nibbling on each other’s lips
as we took small breaths. We continued to roughly caress each
other. The kiss never broke until Alexander removed me from
his hold and placed me on the top of the stone wall.

“Ah, that’s cold—”

Not giving me a chance to think about the cold stone,
Alexander wrapped his hand around my hair and held me by
the back of the neck, forcing my lips to his and his tongue into
my mouth again.

The coldness beneath me on this hot night shot through
my skin, making my nipples harder then they already were.

My back, shown with chills, was glowing and already arching
from desire.

Alexander pushed my legs apart with his hips and with
one arm pulled me forward into his massive erection. He was
still half dressed, and I couldn’t stand to have him that way
much longer. Trying to reach for his pants, he grabbed my
wrist and held it behind my back. Trying to boost myself
forward for a bite at him, he let go of my neck, pulled my
other wrist to meet behind me, and held both in place with
one hand.

He leaned into me, firmly pressing his erection against
my silk panties, feeling the outside of my sex was already wet.