Maybe This Life (17 page)

Over the next few days, Rick had gotten pretty close to the Giordano family. They accepted him as Lena's friend, while appreciating his honesty about Lena's relationship with Vince and the possibility that Vince could have been the one to have put Lena in this position. Once the Haledon Police were informed, the Battaglias were notified and Vince, questioned. Though the Battaglias tried to claim his innocence, and though advised not to speak without his lawyer present, Vince eventually cracked under the pressure of the policemen's questioning. Frank informed Rick and the rest of the Giordanos that, though Mr. Battaglia had tried to protect his son, Vince went crazy, admitting everything. The Haledon PD had Vince in a holding cell temporarily, but they were trying to get him admitted into a psychiatric ward until his arraignment.

Meanwhile, Lena remained comatose in Intensive Care while Rick continually sat by her side. Jules stayed much of the time as well, leaving only to go home and sleep in her own bed.

"Rick, sweetie." Jules tapped the dozing man on his arm. "Why don't you go home and get some sleep? You've been here four straight days. Go. Take a shower, get some rest."

"No. I'm fine, Mrs. G. As long as the nurses aren't kicking me out, I'm staying."

Jules just stared at him.

"What?" Rick asked.

"Why hadn't Lena mentioned you?"

"I imagine...she was embarrassed about having feelings for me, while only recently breaking up with her fiancé. I'm sure her family's opinion of her came into play."

"Mmm. Well, we only always wanted what was best for her. I wish she knew that."

"I think, Mrs. Giordano, she never really knew what was best for herself."

"Mmm."

Rick watched tears pool in Lena's mother's eyes. "Y'know." He stood to meet her eye to eye, "Lena will be all right. I feel it."

Jules smiled. "One of your hunches?"

"Yeah. One of my hunches."

"I'll see you in the morning, Rick. Bring you coffee?"

"Sure. Thanks."

Rick sure hoped this hunch was correct. It wasn't a strong one, but it rippled through him like a gentle wave hitting the shore. He knelt by her bed and prayed…for what seemed like hours. While he was doing so, Lena's hand moved beneath his arm, the warm tickle alerting his senses. His head jerked up. "Lena?"

Her eyes flickered.

"Nurse, Nur..." But the nurse had already been notified by the monitor that was connected to the nurses' station, because she'd entered the room before he'd finished calling her.  "She just..." Rick was dumbstruck.

The nurse pushed a few buttons on the monitor and checked her pulse. "Her heart rate is picking up."

Lena's eyes flickered again. This time, her eyelids actually opened half way. Rick ran to the other side and grabbed her hand. "Lena. Oh Lena, I'm right here." He kissed her hand, her forehead, her arm, relishing her warm skin beneath his lips.

"Mr. Murphy," the nurse intoned. "Let me finish, please."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Can I hold her hand?" A stirred Rick asked with unrestrained joy.

"Yes."

The light glistening off Lena's dark brown eyes was an answered prayer. She was awake. "Lena. You're awake," Rick announced.

Lena only blinked.

He felt the blood drain from his face.

"Give her time," the nurse sympathized.

"She can't talk?" His bubble burst.

"I'm sure she can." The nurse kept her eyes on Lena. "Give her time." She picked up her phone. "This is Liz, call Doctor Olsen to Room 18. She's up."

"Mr. Murphy, why don't you give us a few minutes, you can call her family."

"Sure." His heart sunk heavily in his chest.
What if she never returned back to normal? What if her brain was damaged?

The phone picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" Jules asked nervously.

"She's up..." Unable to finish his sentence, because Jules immediately hung up, Rick was hoping to at least fill her in, so as not to get her hopes too far up. Like his did.

After about forty minutes, Doctor Olsen came out into the waiting area, where Rick, Jules, and Frank were pacing the room. "You can see her now. I just need to tell you, she's not one hundred percent yet. She's confused as to what year it is. A little disoriented, as well. But…she is awake and maybe, by seeing you, you'll trigger an awareness."

The four of them silently approached Lena's room. Rick stood in the background to allow Lena's parents to reacquaint with their daughter. He stayed behind the curtain, uncertain of Lena's reaction to seeing him.

"Lena, sweetie," Rick heard Jules cry.

"Hey, Lena," Frank uttered quietly.

"Hi," Lena breathed, causing a slight tear in Rick's heart. His Lena sounded so weak and fragile.
But at least she was speaking.

"Lena." Now Rick heard the Doctor speak up. "Do you know who these two people are?"

"Yeeess." Her answer, still soft, seemed unsure. "Mmmma."

"That's right, Lena," Doctor Olson responded. "Your mother. Do you recognize the man?"

"Ddddaaaddd."

"Yes, your father. Very good."

"She can't speak?" Jules asked.

"Yes," Doc Olson replied. "It'll just take her a while to remember how. She wasn't in a coma long, but her body was still only functioning at bare minimum. It'll take her a little bit to readjust."

"Oh. You mentioned she's confused about the year?" Frank asked.

"Lena, tell me what year it is."

"Niiiinneteeen ssssev ssseventteeenn."

Rick felt all his energy leave his body. He lost his balance, knocking into the table and causing a ruckus behind the curtain.

"Oh, Rick," Frank called out, pulling the curtain back. "What are you doing back there? C'mon, come see her, you've been with her all this time."

Rick moved at a slow pace toward Lena. "Hello, Lena," he said timidly.

Her smile quickly spread across her face, almost reaching from ear to ear. "Rrriiichaaard. Yooou caaame baaaackk."

His heavy heart smarted as he realized who she thought he was. "Hey there." Rick bent down and kissed her forehead. "How ya feel, sweetheart?"

"Haapppy yooour baaackk fffrrromm wwwaaar."

The walls began caving in on Rick as he tried to figure out how to explain things to Lena's parents. More importantly, how would he untangle Lena's raveled mind?

"War?" Frank questioned the doctor. "I don't understand, why does she think it's nineteen seventeen and Rick is back from the war?"

"I'm not sure, Mr. Giordano. It is common that a person just out of a coma is disoriented about time. But almost a hundred years off is, unfortunately, not commonplace. She could have been dreaming while comatose. She should regain her full memory soon, though."

Rick's heart bled, watching her face crumple in confusion. "Rrrrichhaard? Wwwhaat isss wrrrongg?" Lena struggled with her question.

Words were not finding their way... but tears were. Both Rick and Jules could not contain their own emotions, while Frank remained composed.

"Rick, is that your full name? Richard?" Mr. Giordano asked.

Still speechless, Rick could only shake his head.

"Then who does Lena think you are?" Frank again questioned him.

Rick knew it was too soon to mention reincarnation, Frank just got over thinking Rick was crazy for having an intuition about Lena's fall. What would her parents think about his past life experiences? Lena hadn't even believed it herself. Rick was between a rock and a hard place, with no idea how to get out. In the end, he just shrugged his shoulders in response to Frank's inquiry, pleading ignorance instead.

The beeping on the heart monitor picked up pace. Hurrying into the room, the nurse ran to Lena's side and checked her vitals. After a few moments, she turned an austere eye on the visitors. "Lena's distressed right now, you need to allow her to rest. She will not heal effectively if she is disturbed." The nurse softened her tone. "Please, go get yourselves something to eat, a cup of coffee, something. Come back in a couple hours. She's scheduled for an MRI at 11. Come back after that."

After all of them gave Lena a kiss on the forehead, they left the room. Jules and Frank went for coffee; Rick opted for the waiting area to think. Not ten minutes later, Lena's nurse came in to see Rick. "Mr. Murphy, Lena is asking for you and...well, she's insisting she see you."

"Oh." Rick stood, eager to see her. "Sure."

"Hey, Leen," he greeted her, pasting a smile on his face, even though it killed him to see her this way.

"Lleeenna? Sssincce whennn?" Lena struggled again with her words.

"Sorry...Angie. How's your head?"

"Hurrtss."

Rick turned his attention to the nurse. "Does she know what this is?" He asked, pointing to the television hanging from the wall. "She must be confused," he whispered.

The nurse called Rick to the side of the room. "Yes, we asked her. It seems Lena is familiar with some things, but like I said, she's a bit disoriented."

"So, she recognized her parents, but not...never mind." Rick wanted to say that she didn't remember him, at least not Patrick Murphy, anyway.

He left the nurse and went back to Lena's side. Her hand reached for his, comforting him with her gentle squeeze. With a tender touch, he stroked her palm with his fingers.

"Could you give us a moment?" Rick looked at the nurse. "I mean, I realize you need to supervise, but will you excuse our conversation?"

With the nurse's nod, Rick took both Lena's hands, even her intravenous encumbered hand. "Sweetie, do you remember the conversation we had about past lives?"

Her wide eyes and blank expression told Rick she didn't.

"Sweetheart, I
was
Richard, but in a past life. You were Angie. We loved each other, but I got drafted into the war and never came back. I was killed. Do you remember that?"

Rick noticed recognition flash through her mind. He saw it in her eyes.

"
Now
I am Rick... Patrick... Patrick Murphy. But... I remember you as Angie. My Angie," he whispered. "Only now... you are Lena," Rick smiled when the corners of her mouth turned up. "Angelina Giordano, not Angelina Mancini."

"My grrreatt-grrrammother," she stated.

"Yes, Leen.
You
were your Nana, in our past life."

Lena reached for her coveted locket, which no longer hung from her neck.

"Yes, Lena, the locket you wear was your Nana's. Mimi's mom. Do you remember that?"

Lena nodded, and a tear crawled down her cheek. Then, another. Before long, tears poured from her eyes, causing a bemused Rick.  "What? What is it?"

"I re...rememmmbberr...evvrrythhingg."

"Everything?"

She nodded.

"Agnes?"

All he got was a blank stare.

"Do you remember
this
life?"

Rick was met with another blank stare. He wasn't sure what she remembered...or if she was afraid to admit what she remembered. Rick sensed that she was afraid of what was going on in her mind. He was sure this was all too overwhelming to her right now. Instead, Rick decided silence was best.

But something was going through Lena's mind. Her eyes were wide in shock and she suddenly looked afraid.

"Vvvince."

"Yes, Vince." Rick's blood began to boil. "He did this to you."

Lena nodded and sobbed, again.

The nurse walked up behind Rick and put her hand on his shoulder. "Let her rest now. You've been helpful...and interesting. Let her think about everything right now. You can come back later."

The tip of Lena's nose was cool when he kissed her goodbye. "Sweet dreams, Lena. I'll see you in a little while." His heavy heart held the burden of Lena's troubles, and he wished dearly that he could take her pain away.

"My baby, my baby," Lena woke in a sweat, screaming from her hospital bed.

"Shh. Honey, it's okay. Your baby is fine," Jules assured her daughter with her words and a comforting hand stroking her stomach. "He's fine. He's healthy, his heart rate is just where it should be."

"Mom?"

"Yes, Dear?"

"What day is it?"

"It's Tuesday, why?"

"I forgot."

"You forgot that it was Tuesday?"

"No, that I was pregnant. Why didn't you remind me?" Lena nearly cried.

"The doctor wanted you to remember on your own," Jules said, softly. "He said it may take a few days, especially since you haven't gotten out of bed or anything to see yourself."

"It's a boy?" Lena whispered, her stomach tingling thinking about it.

"Yes. You're having a baby boy."

"Hmmm...Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Rick?"

"He's downstairs with Dad. You know, that man only left twice since you've been here...and not once while you were in the coma. He really is something. He really cares about you, honey."

"Yeah, I know." A dark hole filled her mind where Rick was concerned; it only added confusion to her already hazy thoughts.

"Sweetie." A cautious Jules seemed to proceed tentatively. "The nurses said you've been having quite...the nightmares. Do you want to talk about them?"

"Um, I don't know...I just..." Lena didn't finish, she only stared into space.

"Were you having nightmares before your accident?

Lena shook her head. "Not like this."

"You've been waking up screaming, they tell me. Nearly hyperventilating. Would you like to talk to someone about them? A therapist or something?"

Yes. No. What could she say? Anyone she told would think she was crazy. For the past several nights, Lena had spent her sleeping hours back in the early twentieth century. She didn't like it. Already accustomed to dreams about Agnes beating the pulp out of Angelina, she now witnessed the beatings of her great-great grandmother by her great-great grandfather, Timothy. At least Lena believed that's who her recent dreams were about. But then Rick's words kept coming back to haunt her.
She was her own great-great grandmother in a previous life.
Could he be right? The thought made her want to puke. She knew he was right. She remembered. But, no, maybe it was the trick of her own mind. Yeah, she'd go with that. "Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"How much of Nana's life do you know about?"

"Nana? What brought that on?"

"My dreams. They're about someone named Angelina, but...it's not me."

"Does she look like Nana?"

Lena frowned, "I'm not sure. Mimi only had one old picture of her. Grandma Leanne didn't have any either. I
think
it was her."

"What were they about?"

"She's being abused. All the time. Maybe it's my imagination, but...," not sure how to say it, Lena bit the bullet and proceeded, "I feel like it all happened to me."

"The abuse?"

"Yes." She closed her eyes, fearful her mother would think her crazy.

"Maybe...you're just projecting what Vince has done to you, onto someone else, so...it doesn't seem so...personal."

"Hmmm." Lena thought about that. Her mother had a point.

"I don't know, honey. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything like that, but...it sounds plausible."

"Yeah. You're right. I bet that's all it is." Lena liked her mother's theory, and it definitely made more sense than Rick's reincarnation thing. Her mind was playing tricks, that's all, she thought, more to convince herself than anything.

"Sweetheart, the doctor did not want us to push your thoughts, but...do you remember saying you were in the year nineteen seventeen...and thinking Rick had just come back from the war?"

Yes, Lena remembered, but she didn't want to. It scared her to admit it, because then she'd have to admit that it was possible for reincarnation to exist and that it wasn't just her imagination. That would open the flood gates for even more psychological distress. With a baby on the way, Lena would just not allow any more unwanted situations in her life. "Hmmm," she replied to her mother. "I thought it was the year nineteen seventeen? When?"

Lena watched a deflated Jules frown. "Oh, never mind, sweetie, forget I said anything."

"Okay." Lena faked a laugh, feeling bad for lying to her mother.

Just then Rick walked in.

"Hi there, Rick," a now smiling Jules greeted him. "She's doing much better this morning. Her speech is more fluent; the doctor is happy with her recovery."

"Great, Jules. Hey Leen, you look great," a visibly unsure Rick addressed Lena.

"Thanks," she said half-heartedly.

The rippling sensation of warmth that spread through her when he took her hand and kissed her forehead added more uncertainty to Lena's fragile state. The mocking confusion between her increasing love for Rick and her frequent agitation toward him, lent to her feeling restless and flustered. At times, she'd wished Rick had never entered her life. Then again, that would be a lie; he was all she could think about.

"Well, let me leave you two alone," Jules chimed in. "I'll go get a bite to eat downstairs. Be back in a bit." She kissed her daughter on the cheek and left.

"So," Rick began. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little." Lena wanted to keep the conversation short, just as she had the past few days. What could she say to him? She'd rather him not be around. If he were out of the picture, her nightmares would certainly dissipate; they'd only gotten so bad since meeting Rick. Before then, she'd only have little spurts that made no sense. Now, they were scary and out of hand. She just wanted the craziness to disappear...and that included Rick.

"Well, I'm sure you'll feel better soon, sweetheart."

"Mmm." Trying not to lead him on any further, Lena averted her eyes, attempting to ignore him...hating herself for doing so.

"Lena, what's up? What's going on?" She heard the tremble in his voice; felt his sadness in her heart.

She fiddled with her blankets, while keeping her eyes down.

"Lena." He lifted her chin gently with his two fingers, effecting eye to eye contact. "What's going on?"

She sighed, unable to contain the pain in her heart.

"Would you like me to...go away?" he asked quietly.

A few tiny nods, all she could muster, she choked back her tears. When she tried to open her mouth to say something, the lump in her throat grew so large she could no longer hold back her tears.

"Why? Can I ask why you want me to leave?" His voice remained barely above a whisper, and Lena had a feeling he was holding back his own tears.

The pain in her chest crushed her heart. She shook her head. "I don't know." She barely heard her own words.

"You don't know?" She could hear his voice loud and clear now. His anger could not be mistaken. "That's it? You don't know?" He waited, probably for her response, which never came. "Well, gee, Lena, that's a fine reason to want me to go away. You don't know," an unquestionably upset Rick, mocked. "Well, now I feel so much better...now that I know the reason that is."

"Rick, I'm sorry," she cried, not wanting to see him so upset.

He sat down beside her, on the edge of the bed. "Lena, I don't understand." Calmer, Rick placed his fingertips on her wrist. "I know you love me. I feel it. I see it. God, Lena, all that we've been through."

"What?" Lena interjected, still teary-eyed. "What have we been through? A couple dates? That's nothing."

"Oh, okay. I get it. You don't believe we had a past together, is that it?"

"Yes," she snipped.

"Well...even so, you do love me. I know you do. I can't be wrong about that."

The tears rolling down Rick's cheeks stabbed at her heart. She hated to hurt him, but what could she do? Scared and pregnant and treading on unknown territory, Lena had no answers. She turned and stared out the window, unable to look at the pain of betrayal in Rick's eyes.

"So that's it then? I leave and walk out of your life forever...and that's okay with you?" His voice trembled.

Lena kept her attention on the stillness of the trees outside the window. She couldn't look at him. Her heart wanted him, but her head was too overwhelmed with all the chaos going on in her life. Her ex-fiancé almost pushed her and her baby to their death. She's supposed to turn around and trust another man after that? Lena was too confused to think. She could not deal with Rick right now.

Rick met her silence with, "I guess it is," then he stormed out of the room…leaving Lena alone with a crushing heart. But she wouldn't let him know that. She couldn't let him know that. It'd only encourage him.