Maybe This Life (2 page)

“So, Babe, you excited about starting your new job tomorrow?”  Vince asked Lena, who cuddled in his arms while they sat on her red plaid couch and watched the college basketball game on TV.

Lena shrugged. “I’m more nervous than excited.”

“Aw, you don’t need to be nervous.  You’ll just use those Seton Hall words of yours that I hate, and you’ll impress those snobs at the cable company.”

Lena didn’t know if Vince complimented her or put her down.  That’s usually the way it was; he would dole out compliments freely, then he’d always add a slight twist to make her wonder what he really meant.  She shrugged again.  “I’ll be fine, I guess.”  Lena wasn’t as excited as she thought she’d be.  She was happy to give up her bank teller job, but this PR position wasn’t exactly the Production Assistant position she could have had if Vince wasn’t so controlling.  Not standing up to him about that was turning out to be one of Lena’s big regrets.  She was afraid that her resentment towards Vince was growing too rapidly.  Every time she saw a newly produced music video, she thought of her dream to produce an amazing rock video.  Many producers started as production assistants and worked their way up through the crew.  But now Lena thought that dream would never come true.  Instead, she accepted a job writing press releases.  Where was the fun in that?  And where would it take her?  Certainly not to some television studio.

There was
one
aspect of working at the local cable company that she looked forward to.  The Wrangler guy.  She couldn’t get her mind off of him.  Not that she tried too hard.  She was sure he worked there, considering the way he’d offered to get her ice for her hand.  She sure hoped he worked there.  Lena couldn’t wait to see him again.  Those eyes.  There was something about his green eyes that sent a chill through her.  As much as her hand had been hurting when she’d slammed it in the car door, the adrenaline pumped so rapidly through her veins when she caught sight of Wrangler’s eyes that she’d forgotten for a moment that she was in pain.

Never in her life had one look at someone caused such an immense reaction...and such a strong one.  She felt so guilty about that.  She shouldn’t be attracted to anyone besides Vince. But she just couldn’t help herself.             

“Yeah! Yes!  Did you see that play, Babe?  Wooh-hooh, they did it.  Did you see that?” Vince nudged Lena in the ribs, prompting her out of daydreaming about Wrangler. “They won, Babe.  They did it. Shit yeah." He exclaimed

“Great.” Lena really didn’t care about basketball, but Vince did, so she followed it along with him.  “Vince, do you mind if I get ready for bed?  I’d like to get a good night sleep tonight.”

“But it’s not even eight o’clock.  You’re asking me to leave?”

Lena flinched before answering.  “I’m sorry, Vince, I’m just really tired.”

“Geez, Lena.  You’re not ten, it’s not past your effin’ bedtime.”

“I know, Vince, I’m tired, that’s all.”

Vince’s eyes bore into hers.  “You’re friggin’ unbelievable, you know that?”  Vince threw the remote across the room.  “Go get your precious sleep, Lena.”  Vince stormed towards the door, and Lena heard him mumble, “Bitch,” under his breath.

Lena shut the door behind him, picked up the drinks from her coffee table, and brought them to her kitchen sink.  Then she got on her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and went to bed.  She really did want a good night’s sleep before starting her new job.

As Lena drifted off, her thoughts wandered back to the man from the parking lot.  She couldn’t get those emerald-green eyes out of her mind.

She saw him smile at her and then at a closer look, he was crying.  A tear crawled down his cheek and he whispered good-bye.  Had she been dreaming?  She felt her body falling into a slumber.  Suddenly she was sitting on the front steps of a row-style house while she waved good-bye to a man dressed in fatigues.  He blew a kiss to her as his lips formed the words, ‘Wait for me.’

It wasn’t until Lena was showering the next morning that she recalled her dream. 
That was odd,
she thought, but she soon chuckled as she realized how peculiar her imagination was.  She didn’t know if it was the coffee she usually drank late in the evening, or if her constant daydreaming conjured erratic night dreams.  At least last night’s visions were not like the senseless nightmares she’d been having recently.  Lena was thankful for that.

The impressive drive through Franklin Lakes to get to NNJCC was lost on Lena, who could barely remember getting to work.  Her sole focus had been on starting her new job this morning, which would begin in exactly ten minutes.  She’d considered getting to work earlier, but decided against it when she thought maybe it’d appear as if she were too overzealous. Instead, she opted for reporting in only ten minutes early.  As luck would have it, she’d arrived at precisely the time that Wrangler had pulled into the lot.  That fact, along with the realization that he was practically jogging to catch up to her at the main entrance, added to Lena’s jumble of nerves.

“Lena, wait up.”

Shocked, she turned to him.  “Uh, how did you know my name?”

He reached across her to open the door and allow her to enter before he followed after her.  “I’ve asked about you.”  His smile was captivating.  She actually felt her heart skip a beat.

“When?”

“That day I saw you in the parking lot.”

“Oh.”  Was it flattering or just plain creepy?  She opted to go with flattering.  Knowing he was interested in her enough to wonder who she was caused a warm sensation to flow from her head down to her toes.  What was wrong with her?  What
were
these feelings?

The elevator door opened almost simultaneously to his pushing the button.  They were the only two taking the ride up, making for a very uncomfortable trip as far as Lena was concerned.  She was nervous enough starting her new job and all; being so close to a man who caused her heart to race was more than she could handle right now.

“I think you’ll like it here, Lena.  Your co-workers in the PR department are really cool, especially Gary and Lindsey.”

The elevator door opened to the second floor.  Wrangler seemed hesitant to leave.  “By the way, I’m Rick.  It’s nice to have formally met you, Lena.”

Rick.  Lena never even thought to ask what
his
name was.  Darn.  Bad first impression.  Correction.  Second impression.  First one was even worse.

“Lena.” Dan Shoup, Lena’s new boss, greeted her when she walked into the department.

“Hello, Mr. Shoup.”
Darn.  Too formal?

“Oh please, call me Dan.  We all go by first names here.” Lena followed Dan into a small cubicle with a window situated behind a desk.  “This is your desk.  You can get situated, and I’ll see you in my office in about fifteen minutes to go over your agenda.”

“Okay, great.” Lena put her purse in her new desk drawer and hung her coat on the hook on the wall, before exploring her new work area.

“Hey there. Lena, right?” A brown-haired man about Lena’s age approached her desk and held out his hand.

Lena stood and shook his hand.  “Yes.”

“I’m Gary.  I’m the other coordinator here.”  Gary turned when he heard footsteps.  “Oh, and this is Lindsey.  She’s Dan’s assistant.”

“Hi, Lindsey.  I’m Lena.”

Lindsey looked to be in her thirties, but the severe bun in her blonde hair could have been misleading.

“Hey, you.  I’m so glad we have another girl in the office.  I hated being outnumbered.”  Yeah.  Lena was sure it was the bun.  When Lindsey spoke, she sounded much younger than thirty.  “Hey, Lena, you should come out with us on Friday nights.  Gary and I usually go with Betty from Engineering to watch Rick from Engineering play at The Tavern in town.”

“Play?" Lena’s ears perked up at the mention of Rick’s name, if it was even the same Rick.

“Oh sure.  Rick Murphy, the Engineering Manager plays guitar and keyboard, and every other instrument under the sun, while he sings.  He has a gig every Friday night.”  Lindsey spoke so quickly, it was hard to catch what she said. 
Definitely younger than thirty
, Lena thought.  Was she dating Rick?  Was Rick attracted to blond-haired girls?  Lena hoped not, since her own hair was as dark as night.  Wait a minute.  Lena mentally shook her thoughts free.  It may not have even been the same Rick and besides, Lena was marrying Vince at the end of the year.  “So,” Lindsey continued. “Ya think you might wanna join us?”

“It sounds like fun.  Let me just check with my fiancé.”

“Oh, you’re engaged?  That’s wonderful.  When?”

“October,” Lena mumbled.

“You don’t sound too excited.  If it were me, I’d be going crazy with excitement.”  Lindsey was waving her arms exuberantly as she spoke.

“Lindsey,” Gary interrupted. “You talk too much.”

Gary took the words right out of Lena’s mouth, but Lena liked Lindsey.  She looked forward to working with such an energetic person.  She’d make the workday fun, Lena thought.  But she couldn’t help but hope there was nothing between Lindsey and the same Rick that Lena was infatuated with. Suddenly, Lena’s desire for Rick, and the guilt it involved, manifested as a painful knot in the pit of her stomach.

On the way home from work that evening, Lena felt that unusual pang in her heart – that sensation that swung somewhere between excitement and fear.  She was excited about her new job and new co-workers but feared that her attraction to Rick would escalate and Vince would find out.  Vince learning of her attraction to anyone or anything besides him would not be good.

When Lena got home to her apartment, her younger sister by three years pulled into the parking lot. "Hey Leen, I saw you pulling in, so I figured I'd stop and see how your first day went."

"Hey, Katrina." Leaning into the driver's side window, Lena’s blond-haired, blue-eyed sister greeted her.  "It was good.  I think I'm going to like it."

"Yeah?  That's cool. Hey, Joe wants to know if we're still getting together to go down the shore next weekend?"

"Oh, yeah.  Not
this
Saturday, right?"

"No Lena, next.  Why, what's this Saturday?"

"Oh, nothing...no, nothing at all.  Friday night, um, I may be going out," Lena stammered.

"Whaddya mean?  Without Vince?"  Katrina seemed suspicious.

"Oh, I, um..I don't...I don't know, I..didn't tell him yet.  So, where you off to?" Lena was quick to change the subject; her sister would definitely be able to see through to her feelings.

"Don't change the subject.  Where you going Friday?" Katrina insisted.

After inhaling a long time, Lena finally answered, "No, just...with some co-workers, that's all."

Katrina said nothing, and this was usually a successful attempt at getting Lena to talk some more.

"We're just going to see...a guy...another co-worker. He's playing at The Tavern in Oakland."

"Aaah...and what's his name? This other co-worker."

Damn, Kat was good.  "Uh, just...Rick...I think, um Rick Murphy, yeah."  Lena felt her skin turn warm, and she was sure Katrina could see her blushing.

"Oh, well you go and enjoy Rick Murphy Friday night." She laughed.

"Katrina."

"No really, enjoy a night out with your friends.  I'm serious...I just hope Vince
lets
you."

"Yeah...me too.  See ya later, Kat."

"Yeah, love ya Leen."

Inching her way into her apartment, Lena was sure there'd be some type of problem with Vince letting her go out alone Friday night.  There would always be some kind of  problem where Vince was concerned.

Rick was more keyed up than usual before one of his Friday night gigs.  Gary mentioned to him that Lena would be joining them for happy hour, and then she’d stay to watch Rick’s performance.  Usually cool and calm before a show, Lena's presence made him nervous. He wondered if she would enjoy his singing, or if she'd find it lame. After all, he was just a bar performer playing to a crowd for his own enjoyment. It's not like he was getting paid a whole heck of a lot, but he loved the feeling it gave him to sing and play his guitar. Or any instrument for that matter. Music fed his soul, and it relaxed him to play. Tonight, however, he found no relaxation in knowing Lena would be watching. But he was excited to see her.

He went from excited and jittery to tense and agitated in the time it took the waitress to take the order and bring it to the table.  This was how long it took Lena’s fiancé to piss him off. First of all, Rick never thought to look at her left hand;
she's engaged,
he thought.  Damn.  He really wished she were available.  Second, of course Rick expected Lena to come alone, and third, her fiancé Vinnie, or something like that, was an asshole.  In the ten minutes Vinnie was there, Rick already wanted to punch the obnoxious ass. Curt, impolite and downright disparaging to Lena, Vinnie showed her no respect. Rick could not understand how a sweet, refined person like Lena could
be
with a person like that, never mind marry one.

“What’s your problem, man?”  Vinnie tossed his chin in Rick’s direction, addressing the question at him.  “You have a problem with me?  I see the way you’re looking at me.”

Rick wanted to remain composed, but his blood boiled from listening to Vinnie’s constant belittling of Lena.  He tried to hold his tongue for Lena’s sake when Vinnie called her a clumsy shit because she accidentally knocked over a glass of water when he elbowed her in the rib – all because she didn’t introduce him to everyone quickly enough.  Rick tried to steady his breathing and stay out of it when Vinnie decided to tell everyone that ‘screwing Lena was like screwing a piece of wood.’  But Rick could no longer disguise his disgust.  He took one look at Lena’s timid demeanor.  She was biting her bottom lip and fumbling with the necklace she had around her neck. Vinnie embarrassed her. Rick wanted to remain calm to keep her from further humiliation, but the hatred he suddenly had for this man blinded him from Lena’s immediate humility.

“As a matter of fact,
Vinnie
,” Rick sneered.  “I do have a problem with you.  How you treat the woman you love is repulsive.  It’s sickening and insufferable.  You are a vile man, and if it weren’t for sparing Lena further embarrassment, I’d take you out right here.”

“Rick.” Gary nudged him.

Vinnie stood from the table.  “You fuckin’ shit.”  Vinnie raced around the table and threw a punch at Rick.  Rick stopped him mid-punch by grabbing Vinnie’s wrist before it hit his face.

“Vince, please,” Rick heard Lena plead. Vinnie tried to throw a punch with his other fist, but Rick stopped that as well.  By now all the other patrons had heard the wrangling, and the owner headed over.

“Rick, what’s the problem here?”

“Nothing, Jack, it’s under control.”  Rick answered The Tavern’s owner without tearing his glare away from Vinnie.

“Let’s get outta here, Lena.  Your friend’s an ass.” 

Lena looked at Rick and shrugged, and that’s when he saw the pain and sadness in her eyes.  Lena turned to Gary, Lindsey and Betty, “I’m sorry.  Really, I am.”  She raced after Vinnie like a puppy after its owner.

The rest of happy hour for the NNJCC crew grew somber.  No one really seemed to know what to say to one another and Rick, lost in his own thoughts, didn’t even try to come up with conversation.  He psyched himself up enough to perform, and though his song choices were more melancholy than usual, he managed to please the crowd anyway.

“What was that all about before, Rick?”  Gary asked when they were sitting at the bar at the end of the night.  Lindsey and Betty, along with most of The Tavern’s patrons, had already cleared out.

Rick took another swig of his beer.  “That man is vile.”

“I agree, but it's not your place to tell him so.”

“Somebody had to.”

“But we hardly even know Lena.  Couldn’t you just ignore him?”

“No,” Rick answered adamantly. “Did you see her face?  He was humiliating her. She didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve her. He’s an asshole and she’s….she’s perfect,” he whispered.

“Rick…she’s getting married soon.  Stay out of it.”

“That’s the thing.  She can’t marry him.  He’s no good for her.”

“And I bet you think
you
are though.”

Rick didn’t respond to that.  But he did know the answer.

The rest of the weekend Rick spent working on the old barn that sat behind his Craftsman style house on his four acres of property on White Lake Road in Sparta.   He'd been renovating the barn so he’d have a sound proof room to record his music and a place big enough to put an air hockey table, a large screen TV, and a place to hang out. Rick started the project when he bought the house five years ago.  He had a stable for his two horses, and he didn’t really need a barn for its original intended use, so he thought he’d make himself a huge rec room.  Besides, he enjoyed physical labor.

The lumbering was tedious, so by Sunday evening, an exhausted Rick retired to his favorite spot in the house – his recliner.  As he relaxed in the dark, he lit a cigarette and attempted to reach his precious Angie from long ago…

Tonight….he was in luck….

“Let me walk you to church, Angie.” He called after her while she hurried down the street, obviously late for Mass.

“Oh.” She turned to see him pacing behind her several feet.

He reached her instantly.  “I know you’re running late, but I’d like to walk with you.”

She smiled.  Her eyes were golden-brown, her peaches ‘n cream skin, flawless, and her chocolate-brown hair, sparkling in the early morning Sunday sun.  “Okay.” Her demure voice, music to his teenage ears.

He reached for her hand, and she placed it in his.  They strolled to church hand in hand and remained that way all through Mass, stealing glances at each other while the priest celebrated Mass.

Afterward, they walked through town and shared an egg cream at the drugstore around the corner from Angie’s house.

“So Angie, why do you always go to Sunday Mass by yourself?” asked a curious Richard.

She shrugged her frail shoulders.  “My mother doesn’t even know I go.  She sleeps late every morning.  I bet she has probably never stepped foot in a church in her whole life.”

“So why do
you
go?”

“I guess I just need to hope there is someone out there looking after me.”

That had been the first time he'd heard the desperation in her words and saw the sadness in her eyes.  And that had been the first of many Sundays they would share a pew together at Mass.