Maybe This Life (9 page)

Lena parked her electric-green Ford Focus under the maple tree that sat in the right corner of Mimi's front yard.  Mimi's red-brick Dutch Colonial was always a haven for Lena – a place to enjoy all the sugary treats Lena's own mom would never allow growing up.  Mimi would let Lena indulge in a jar full of marshmallow Fluff or even a Fluffer-Nutter sandwich for lunch. Though Mimi now lived with her younger sister Rose, twenty-five year old Lena still felt like an adolescent schoolgirl sneaking treats behind her mother's back when she visited Mimi's home.

True to a usual visit with Mimi, there were yummy cakes in the glass-covered pedestal cake plate and cookies in the old Mickey Mouse cookie jar.  Mimi put on a kettle of water and placed two honey-vanilla tea bags in two pink rose covered tea cups.  After some small talk and treat gathering, Mimi and Lena brought their refreshments into the Florida room in the back of the house.

"So, dear, what can I help you with?" Mimi's gentle voice was a hug out loud.  Lena could feel the warmth and compassion in every word Mimi spoke.

"Oh Mimi, I've been so...confused, I guess you could say." Lena slid sideways on the couch so that she was now sitting on her left foot and holding her tea on her lap.  "You know that I have such a crazy imagination."

Mimi nodded, along with letting out a slight snicker in agreement.

Lena chuckled along with her.  "Well, anyway...my dreams have been kind of crazy lately also.  I keep having these dreams about the same girl.  Angelina, like Nana's name."

Mimi smiled at the sound of her mother's name.  "And like your name, dear...don't forget."

Lena blushed.  "I know, Mimi.  It's just...this girl wasn't me.  I...actually think it
was
Nana."

Mimi nodded.

"The girl looked like pictures you have of her."

A smiling Mimi asked, "Has Nana been on your mind lately?"

Lena sat quietly, elbow against the back cushion, her head resting on her hand.  She thought about her conversation with Rick – the black and white cookie conversation.  "I guess so."

"Well then, it's quite natural then," Mimi reassured, "to dream about someone you're thinking of."

"I guess so," Lena repeated. "But...there was this other...person.  In my dream.  A boy.  A guy named Richard."

Mimi jutted her chin and shook her head.

"Nana didn't know a Richard?" Lena asked.

"Not that I know of dear."

Lena grabbed hold of her locket just then, brought it to her lips, and kissed it.  She had no idea why an old thin piece of gold meant so much to her, but suddenly, she needed answers.  "Mimi?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Tell me about this locket?" Lena asked quietly.

Mimi laughed.  "Oh, dear, I wish I could.  The only thing I know about it is that your Nana, my mother, wore it every single day of her life.  Broken and all."

"She never told you where she got it?"

Mimi shook her head.  "No."

"Do you know why she wore it?"

"No...why?  What is this?  Why do you need to know about the locket all of a sudden?"

"Why did you keep it?  I mean...it was in your jewelry box when I found it."

"Yes, dear," Mimi blurted. "It obviously was important to my mother.  She'd had it on the day she'd died.  I thought better of leaving it on her when they were to close her casket.  I mean...it's not like her soul stays in there with her, right?"

"No." Lena shook her head. "No, I guess not."

"Anyway," Mimi continued. "It was a tiny thing and...it couldn't hurt any to keep it. Besides, you've really taken a liking to it."

Yeah. But why, Lena thought, why does this broken locket mean so much to her?

Monday morning, all Lena could think about was Nana, Richard...and Rick.  Why Rick?  What did he have to do with all of this?  It didn't make sense.  Maybe Lena's imagination fabricated the stories in her head. It would not be so far-fetched for Lena to do so.  She was spending more and more time with Rick.  They'd spoken about her Nana.  She'd mentioned her locket to him, she was sure.  Lena probably just melded everything together.  Making up stories in that imaginative mind of hers.  She chuckled to herself and put her mind on her PR work.

Anxious to see Rick once lunchtime rolled around, she practically raced to Sunnybank Park…knowing full well he'd be there waiting for her.

Rick's heart thundered beneath his chest when Lena's Ford Focus made its way down the gravel slope.  Sheer excitement took over just thinking about her.  Since Saturday's drive to Sugar Loaf, aside from his concern for Andrew, Rick's mind was adrift with thoughts of Lena.  Thoughts of holding her, kissing her, loving her.

When she pulled next to the Jeep, Rick opened her car door, and by hand, drew her out of the car and led her to the stone seat that overlooked Sunnybank Park and its cozy lake.

Still embracing her hand while they settled on the bench, Rick apprised Lena of the wonderful time he'd had on Saturday.

"I had a nice time as well.  Thank you so much for taking me there," she said, showing a most radiant smile.

"Anytime," Rick thought, as he said it aloud, feeling his heart rate picking up speed again.

"Did you go see your uncle yesterday?" Lena's knee jostled, while her genteel face betrayed her obvious anxiety.

Rick thought to himself that she too must be smitten, as he was.  This put a smile on his face.  He felt it spread from ear to ear.

"Does that smile mean you went to see him?" Lena interrupted his silent rejoicing.

"Oh." Rick shook his head. "No, it does not.  My smile was merely a response to your beautiful face."  Oh, geez, he sounded like a fruitcake.  He noticed Lena blush.  "Actually, I did go to see him."  His smile disappeared.  "My uncle...is not doing too well.  They told me to prepare myself for the inevitable."

"Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry."  Lena expressed her apologies by lovingly tweaking Rick's hand.

"Don't be. He lived a long full life...and until recently, he had all his faculties. Mental
and
physical. It just makes me sad. We'd gotten so close over the years..."

After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Rick sighed, "So... enough of Andrew. What did
you
do yesterday?" Rick nudged Lena's shoulder with his own, sending an electric chill through his extremities.

Lena nudged him back.  "I visited my great-grandmother.  She made me lunch."

"Sounds sweet."

Lena bit her lower lip, unaware that her endearing habit was making it hard for Rick to focus.  That and the fact that her fingers were caressing his palm, his stomach burned with desire. "She told me about my Nana's locket."

The locket. That prompted Rick's attention.  "The locket you wear around your neck?"

Lena's head shot up.  "How did you know it was this locket?" Her hands subconsciously cupped the locket around her neck.

Rick was sure Lena mentioned it the day they picnicked.  "You'd mentioned it once."

Lena exhaled a sigh of relief.  "Oh. Well...anyway.  I just wanted to know more about where it came from."

Rick's interest was really piqued now.  "So...where
did
it come from?"

"Mimi wasn't sure.  She only knew that her mother wore it every day of her life...even in the end."  Lena sighed.  "She also said Nana always held it in her hand close to her heart." Lena smiled, aware that she still had her locket clutched in her palm. "Like I always do."

Rick chuckled. "I like when you do that."

Lena blushed.

Rick contemplated telling Lena the secret that only he...and Andrew... knew. But it was too soon. He didn't think she could hear the truth right now.

As far as Lena was concerned, she'd only met Rick when she began working with him.  She had no idea the part Rick had already been playing in her life...long before she started working at the cable company.

Rick decided it'd be best to wait a bit longer. Instead, he would ask her out on another date.

While musing over his dilemma, he hadn't realized Lena had been talking. "I'm sorry, Lena, my mind was wandering. What did you just say?"

"I said, I had this odd dream last night.  I think...I was dreaming about my Nana, Angelina, when she was a teenager or something.  But she was with this boy Richard.  According to Mimi, her father's name was Timothy.  She never heard her mother mention anyone named Richard."

"Hmm."  Rick's heart hammered beneath his chest again. Maybe she
would
remember.  "Maybe she had a boyfriend or something before she got married.  It happens."  Rick hoped Lena didn't notice his unsteady breathing, brought on by her flicker of a memory, even though she hadn't quite figured it to be a recollection from her
own
past.

Lena smirked. "I know it happens, but how would I
know
that?"  Lena shrugged.  "I don't know.  I do always have crazy dreams.  I'm probably just making it up in my head."  Lena hesitated. "It's just..."  But she ended her thought prematurely, leaving Rick to wonder hopelessly what she had wanted to say.

He was eager though to find out. If his intuition was correct, at this moment, it may not be too early to tell her. "What, Lena? It's just, what?"

"Hmm," mumbled a baffled Lena.

"You said, it's just. It's just, what?"

"Oh." she chuckled. "It's just that I
knew
Richard.  I don't know how, but I knew him.  I just can't figure out from where."

Rick’s heart stopped. She remembered. Maybe not consciously, but some part of her…deep inside…felt the connection.  It took every ounce of resolve to keep his secret to himself and not blurt it out.  He wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear the truth.  Maybe not.  This was a fragile situation and Lena, a fragile soul.

But he couldn’t let the subject totally drop.  “Your dreams seem like they’re trying to tell you something.” Rick stumbled on what to say next. “I don’t know…maybe…dig deeper into them.”

“Dig deeper?” Lena gasped, “Some of them are
nightmares
…I’d just rather they go away.”

“Oh, Lena,” a regretful Rick started. “I’m so sorry. You were talking about last night’s dream.  I hadn’t realized you were having nightmares.”

“That’s okay.  I may not have mentioned them to you.”  Lena cast her eyes downward.

Sighing, Rick moved closer to Lena and placed his hand on her leg.  “What’s scaring you about your nightmares?”

Lena kept her eyes down, but her foot tapped repeatedly on the ground, alluding to her anxiety.

“It’s okay.  If you don’t want to talk about it…” Rick stood, taking Lena’s hand.  “Let’s walk.”  He led them towards the edge of the lake, then circled it while they strolled hand in hand.

“Have you heard from Vince?” A curious Rick needed to know.

“No,” she whispered.

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I guess.” A soft whimper escaped Lena’s lips.

Concerned, yet afraid of her response, Rick asked anyway, “You miss him?"

“I don't know.”

“Okay, I’ll drop the subject.”  Rick's disheartened heart dropped into his stomach.

Silence filled the air for a minute before Lena looked up at Rick.  “I feel sorry for him.”

Rick thought she had more to say, but she averted her eyes downward as they continued to walk.  He felt a heaviness in his chest when he thought of the heartbreak he seemed to hear in her words.

The twosome had been so engrossed in their own thoughts that they hadn’t realized how far they’d walked.  They had entered a clearing on the opposite side of the lake.  In the clearing, another stone-covered bench surrounded by overgrown berry trees and shrubs circled around them.

“Lena, we’ve reached the other side of the lake.  I think we’re late getting back to work,” Rick noted.

“Oh no, I hope Dan won’t be mad.”  Lena worried.

“I can talk with him if you’d…”

But before Rick could complete his sentence, Lena jumped in, “No!...No, thank-you.  I’ll just tell him I lost track of time.  Please don’t let him know I was with you,” she pleaded.

So Lena would be facing him, Rick took her other hand in his.  “Lena, I won’t say anything.  But…we’re not doing anything wrong. Why wouldn’t you want Dan to know we had lunch together?”

Lena breathed, “I guess I just feel guilty.”

“For what?” Rick wondered.

“Well…I…well, I just broke up with Vince…and now…” she dropped her head. “Now I like you.” Rick watched her shoulders tighten.  Maybe she felt uncomfortable admitting her attraction.

With his hands still clutching Lena’s hands, Rick tugged her gently toward him.  Now inches apart, he peered into her brown eyes. “I like you, too.” He watched a modest Lena blush and look down at the ground. With his fingertips, Rick tilted her chin back up.  “Lena. It’s okay to like someone else. Vince wasn’t all that nice to you anyway.”

Lena let out the breath that evidently she was holding.

“No one has to know yet. When you’re ready...you can say something. But…I’d hate to not be able to spend time with you…unless.” Rick subconsciously softened his voice. “You aren’t ready to be in another relationship.”

Lena hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

Rick kissed her on the forehead. “Let’s be friends for now then.”

Relief immediately displayed in Lena’s eyes and posture. “Yes. Being friends is okay.”

“Well,” Rick continued. “Would it be all right to invite my friend to my house this weekend,…for lunch, let’s say?

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” But he couldn’t help himself; he leaned in and hugged her.  And to his surprise, she let him.  Her head fell just below his chin and her cheek rested in the hollow of his chest.  The frantic beating of his heart was now probably apparent to Lena as she pressed against him. He could not slow down its pace though; he had waited years and years for this moment.  This point in time where he’d be holding, in his own two arms, the love of his life.