Moments in Time (39 page)

I forced myself to remember why I’d left. “Wendy loves you.”

Tanner’s hands fell loosely at his sides as he stared at me. “What?”

“She loves you.”

“That’s why you left?”

I don’t know what hurt more, my brain or my heart. “No. Well, yes. Sort of. It just seemed like that would make everyone’s life so much easier. For you to be with her.”

Tanner let out a loud groan and paced several steps away, then walked back, stopping right in front of me. “I probably should have mentioned this at some point, but whenever Wendy hits a rough spot with a guy, she convinces herself that she’s in love with me.”

“Maybe because she is.”

Tanner shook his head. “She loves me. I know that. And I love her too. But neither one of us has ever been in love with the other.”

“But—”

“No buts. I’ve just been nicer to her than the other guys she’s been with. She dates assholes. All. The. Time. One day she’ll find the right guy. I’m not that guy. Not for her and not for me.”

“How do you know? I mean, maybe if you—”

He rocked back on his heels, then stared at the ground. With his hair falling in his face, I couldn’t read his expression. My stomach felt like it was eating itself alive.

“I know because I know what it feels like to be in love.”

He looked at me then. Eyes serious and dark, streetlights making them shine like two perfect reflecting pools. I couldn’t have looked away if the city had exploded around us and Godzilla was heading our way. I couldn’t even swallow.

“Do you?” His voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear him over the sound of my heartbeat.

“Do I what?”
Can he tell that I’m shaking, or is it just inside my body that everything’s about to vibrate apart?

“Do you know what it feels like to be in love?”

“Yes.”
God, do I.

“Still?”

The lump in my throat had reached meteoric proportions. My eyes stung, but I was afraid to blink, afraid I’d start crying and not be able to stop or worse—afraid I’d open them, and he wouldn’t really be standing there.

I nodded and forced myself to squeak out, “Very much.”

“Then what the fuck are we doing?”

My head felt as if it was about to explode. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. Tanner stepped closer. I braced myself as I watched his hand rise, knowing if he touched me, it would all be over. His fingers cupped the back of my neck, and I trembled.

He inched closer still. “What are we doing?”

I pulled him against me so hard, we both staggered as our mouths collided. His lips, warm and firm, sprung open beneath mine, our tongues lashed against each other, hot and sweet. For the first time in over a week, I felt like I could breathe.

I
DIDN
’
T remember picking up the bags of Chinese food or riding the elevator to the fifteenth floor. All I knew was that we were in Tanner’s mom’s apartment, that the door had closed and locked. That we were alone. And that I couldn’t have stopped kissing or touching Tanner if my life depended on it.

He ground his hips into mine, and the entire week’s worth of need coursed through my veins. I moaned when he pulled back. His crooked smile melted what was left of my brain cells.

“I’ve missed that sound.” He pressed himself closer. “You want to know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“I’ve never had sex in this apartment.”

“Never?”

“Nope. Want to change that?”

“Immediately.”

We made it to his room before clothes started flying. My shirt joined his on the floor. His jeans got kicked across the room. He fumbled with the button on my pants and growled, “Jesus, this never happens in porn.”

I laughed and reached down to help him. “People in porn don’t wear pants.”

“They’re geniuses.” He dropped to his knees and gave my cock a slow stroke that felt so good, my eyes rolled back into my head. “But this is way better than porn.”

Silky hair grazed my stomach as his lips glossed over my tattoo. A groan rumbled deep in my throat. “Fuck.”

“Maybe later.” His warm breath tickled my skin. “I’ve been waiting all week to do this.”

Tanner’s tongue flicked the base of my cock, then circled each of my balls.
Please don’t
let this be a dream.
I grabbed on to the dresser to steady myself. He kissed his way up my length so slowly, it made it seem like my cock was a mile long. His warm breath caressed me, but I ached for more. Weaving my fingers in his hair, I tugged him closer. He grinned up at me, eyes sly and mischievous as he placed a gentle kiss on the tip and flicked the bead of moisture away with his tongue.

“You’re trying to torture me, right? As punishment for leaving you?”

Tanner chuckled. “Maybe just a little. But I believe more in reward for good behavior than punishment for bad.”

He finally slid his lips around the head of my cock.
Holy God.
The week without sex had me revved and ready. Tanner seemed hell-bent on making this the best blowjob of all eternity. He licked, sucked, twirled, tugged, cupped, and swooped, all the while kneading my ass and sliding the occasional hand north to tweak a nipple. He had me tingling from head to toe, not knowing what sensation to respond to next.

“Tanner, please.” I didn’t know how much longer I could do this without passing out.

“Please what?”

“Let me come.”

“As you wish.” He grinned up at me, locked our eyes, and sucked my cock so far into his mouth, I couldn’t do anything other than grunt. His tongue swirled along my underside, tickling and licking all the right places. My hips bucked on their own, aching for release.

Tanner palmed my balls, sending streaks of pleasure racing up my torso. My entire body was ready to give in to every last sensation and explode. My legs shook, and Tanner braced his hands on my thighs. I loved the grip of his strong fingers, wrapped tight around the base as he worked my dick with his sexy mouth. Up and down, spiral the tip, tongue the slit, then begin again.

“Have to, Tanner. Have to come. Now.”

Sucking rhythmically, he inched me in farther and farther until I was totally engulfed in his mouth. His perfect, steamy, “I could dream about this every night and never get bored” mouth. Once his tongue started the swooping thing, where it felt like somehow he was managing to lick the tip, underside and balls all at once—I was a goner. I let it wash over me in a white rush of light. My eyes slammed shut and colors appeared—a fucking rainbow—pinks and purples, blues and red, bright orange and yellow, all danced behind my lids as I teetered on the brink, shaking, then finally gave in.

I tumbled into the sensation, mind clear, arms held wide, ready and willing to drown in a pool of ecstasy. No regrets. Only desire. Only Tanner. He was all I wanted. All I needed. He was everything, and he was there with me. I groaned as the pleasure crashed over me, wave after wave, racking my body. I gripped the dresser, feeling my knees give out. But Tanner stood and caught me in his arms. His kiss was salty sweet, him mixed with me.

“I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too.” The words panted out of me. It took me a second, but I caught my breath and shoved him down on the bed. “My turn.”

With Tanner sprawled naked on the bed, my mind went too many places at once. Suck? Fuck? Stroke? Frot? I wanted to do all of it, then take a break and do it all again.

Straddling him, I kissed my way from his cock to each nipple, then up to his collarbone, where I nipped until he groaned, to that spot on his neck that makes him emit a vibratey sigh, to his beautiful, perfect lips.

Kissing. Jesus, I’d missed kissing him. I swirled my tongue around his until we both ran out of breath, then started again. Tanner was hard beneath me, his cock wildly bucking against my ass.

“Did you bring lube?” he asked.

“No. I didn’t think I’d need any. You don’t have any here?”

“I never used it here. Wait. This is my suitcase from Fire Island. Let me check the pockets.” He reached over the edge of the bed, rooted around, growling in frustration, and then turned toward me with a grin, holding up a tiny travel-sized tube. “And where would you like this lube to go?”

“Everywhere. I want to fuck you and be fucked by you and do everything else we can possibly come up with.”

Tanner grinned. “You know I hated being away from you, but if this is the welcome home, maybe I should go away more often.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Why not?”

My heart swelled. “I love you. And I don’t even want to think about us being apart.”

“Does that mean you’re coming back to school with me?”

“Is that what you want?”
Please say yes.
My heartbeat drummed in my ears.

Tanner shook his head. “I asked what
you
want. Tell me. Please.”

“Are you sure you want me back up there? You know it’s spread everywhere now. We can’t hide anymore, anywhere.”

“I know. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone has to say. I mean it. I know I let it get to me, but that’s just because it was the first time I’d ever dealt with it. I’m sorry. I won’t do that anymore. Fuck them. Let them say whatever they want. All I know is, you make me happy. You’re all I need.”

That did it. I crawled on top of him, needing my mouth on his. The saltiness had faded. All I tasted was him, and I couldn’t get enough. We rubbed together, our cocks caressing each other as our bodies slid back and forth across the sheets, across each other. It was a good thing he’d blown me, or I’d have already busted a nut.

I sat up and grabbed the tube of lube, coating first my cock, then his. Getting to stroke both our cocks until they were slick and shiny was just a perk. The real reward was so close, I could taste it.

“Who goes first?”

“You.”

Tanner lay back, displaying his body in all its naked glory. Dark nipples in tight, aroused peaks, firm chest, silky happy trail, and the most beautiful cock on the planet. I hooked my hands under his thighs and bent his knees to raise them up. Shoving a pillow under his ass put it at the perfect height and angle. I lubed my fingers and circled his hole. Feeling it quiver beneath my fingertips was enough to make a stream of precome run straight down my cock and pool on my balls. One finger, then two, stretching, exploring, stroking until he gasped. He was ready and so was I. Holding his thighs up, I had the most perfect view. Ass ready and waiting for me, cock at attention, balls drawn up and full.
Jesus. So fucking hot.
I lowered myself toward him, teasing him with the head of my dick.

Every time his hips bucked, I knew he wanted more, and I wanted to give him everything. I slid inside, slow and deep. His groans were the most beautiful music I’d ever heard. I’d forgotten how warm and tight he was. How insanely good it felt to be inside him.

I leaned closer and kissed him. Not an ordinary kiss, a “my life depends on this kiss” kind of kiss. Tanner whimpered as I slowly fucked him, stroking his cock in the same rhythm while my tongue kept time in his mouth. I kept my eyes open. I needed to see that he was really there with me and not some figment of an elaborate fantasy I’d cooked up. He wasn’t a fantasy, though. He was real. And by the grace of God or the stars aligning or pure luck, he was mine.

“Oh God, faster.”

I sped up, thrusting into him as I pumped away at his cock. Angling myself with my knees based on the bed, I could stroke his prostate. Every time I did, I could tell from the noises he’d make. Sexy, erotic noises that made it harder and harder for me not to come. “Fuck.”

“Yes, harder.”

I held him closer, keeping one hand between us to work his cock while my mouth worked his. I’d thought about this all week, but it was like I’d dreamed it in black-and-white, and we were in Technicolor.

The pressure inside me became unbearable, bordering on pain. “I have to come.”

“Come.”

“Come with me.”

“Deal.”

Rasping breaths filled the room as we fucked, kissed, and stroked. Tanner cried out first, deep animal sounds, followed by a high-pitched keen as he erupted everywhere. That’s all it took. Seeing his dick in action put mine straight past the point of no return. Hot come bubbled up my length, then burst forth, filling Tanner. He must have felt it because he flinched and clenched, which felt even more amazing than it already had.

I slowly withdrew, then collapsed in a heap alongside him. He rolled so we were face-to-face.

His dark eyes shone in the dim light of the room. “Glad we decided to try out the room. Good sex room.”

“It is.”

He laughed and kissed me, then stroked my hair off my face with a serious look. “Will you go back with me? I don’t want to do this alone. If you don’t go back, I won’t either. We’ll finish up school online and find a place to live and take it from there.”

“You can’t do that. You’d miss the award ceremony for your ad campaign.”

Tanner put his hands on either side of my face. “You still don’t get it, do you? You’re more important.”

You’re more important.
I repeated the words trying desperately to let them sink in. “So you want to go back?”

“I do. It’s our college too, you know? I don’t intend to let some dumbass old-fashioned pricks ruin everything. I say we go back, heads held high, fix up the new place, make Gino proud. Then after graduation we can move wherever the hell we want.”

“Together?” The idea that he was making plans for us to be together all those months away just floored me. Not that I was complaining, I just didn’t know he thought like that.

“Is that okay?”

The shakiness was back in his voice. A sound I wanted banned from existence.

“Tanner, I’ve done some jerky things, but I thought they were for the right reasons. I promise I’ll never do them again. And yes, together. God, I’ll say yes to anything you suggest if we’re together and you’re okay with it.”

“I’m more than okay with it. I need it. I need
you
.”