Moonlight Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery (17 page)

Emily raised her eyebrows.
“
Only 99%? You losing confidence in your truth-serum?
”

“
Not exactly. But I
’
m not ready to believe that Gabe loves me so I
’
ve got to allow some wiggle room for that stuff not working.
”

Emily smirked.
“
Ah, I see. Denial then. Okay. At least you
’
re honest.
”

“
He loves you?
”
Kimmie grinned at them.
“
And you witch-drugged him to find out? How would I go about getting some truth serum? My husband is raising the hairs on the back of my neck lately. Is he cheating? Is he fired? Is he
…
what? I need to find out for
…
well
…
reasons and stuff.
”

“
Yup,
”
Emily drawled.
“
Yup. I understand completely. We
’
ll hook her up, right?
”

“
This stuff,
”
Ingrid said,
“
is flying out of my cupboards like hotcakes right now. But
I
’
ll see what I can do after I get some more.
”

“
Thanks!
”
Kimmie said.
“
You know where I live.
”

She lived, rent-free, in the complex Ingrid and Emily owned. The conniving wench had out-blackmailed Ingrid during the last murder investigation.

Kimmie finished up their pedicure, they paid, leaving their usual generous tip, and stepped out onto Main Street.

“
Now what?
”
Ingrid asked.

“
Phones. I can
’
t go another second without being able to text. Someone. Anyone. And Facebook. I haven
’
t checked my account in days.
”

“
You know you could check it online from your computer, right?
”

Emily shot Ingrid a flat look.
“
Of course I know. It
’
s just when I
’
m home, I want to sleep or drink wine. Not get on the computer. Facebook is for killing time when I
’
m out and about. You never know, it could help us solve a murder every now and then.
”

Ingrid sighed.
“
This better be the last dang murder we have to solve. This is starting to feel too much like a job. Plus, we would need like a badge or something.
”

“
Witch Police?
”
Emily teased.

“
Please.
”
Ingrid laughed.
“
We might convince someone to give us the job, but we
’
d be fired in a week. Possibly two.
”

“
Phone,
”
Emily whined.

“
Phone,
”
Ingrid agreed.
“
How else am I going to torture Gabe with pictures of my toes?
”

“
I don
’
t want to know about your little games,
”
Emily said.
“
I have said this.
”

Chapter 8

Death Magic

Thursday

“
Em, it
’
s Hazel.
”
The home phone was ringing, interrupting Ingrid and Emily as they relaxed in Ingrid
’
s apartment. They
’
d intended to get phones but swung home for Emily to change since she was finally freezing.
“
Should I answer it?
”
Ingrid asked.

“
You might as well. I don
’
t think we
’
ve done anything lately to make her mad. Not answering it might provoke her.
”

Ingrid nodded and answered the call.
“
Hi, Aunt Hazel.
”

Emily watched Ingrid
’
s face change as Hazel spoke. She really wished she knew how to do a spell that would allow her to eavesdrop. She made a mental note to learn that and in the meantime tried to interpret Ingrid
’
s facial expressions.

“
No. I know. Yes.
”
Ingrid let out a long sigh and Emily could see the legit heartbreak in her eyes.

Damn that idiot sheriff, Emily thought. I
’
m going to have to knock some sense into that fool.

Ingrid spoke again.
“
Yes, we broke up. I
’
m sorry I didn
’
t tell you. I was sort of hoping we could work it out before I had to talk about it.
”

More blathering from Hazel
’
s side of the conversation, then Ingrid
’
s eyebrows shot up.
“
Uh, yeah, okay. See you in a few minutes.
”
Ingrid hung up and jumped to her feet, all traces of their relaxing morning vanishing.

“
Hazel is coming. We are supposed to meet her downstairs. She wants to have a word with us about the bookstore. It sounded like a not good sort of word. Like possibly a lecture. Or maybe even an order.
”

Emily groaned.
“
Ugh. I hate words that require work. Ingrid, the bookshop is a freaking disaster. We can
’
t let Hazel see it in this condition. She
’
ll lose her mind and remind us how Aunt Danna would roll over in her grave. She
’
d continue about how you don't have to practice death magic to know that Aunt Danna
’
s spirit would be angry with us for the way the store looks right now.
”

Ingrid nodded.
“
I know. Hurry, let
’
s take the stairs. It
’
s down instead of up.
”

Emily snorted.
“
I refuse to walk up those stairs. Not even to avoid Hazel
’
s wrath. But down? Down I can do.
”

They raced downstairs and into the bookshop. Hazel was right in her imaginary lecture. The one they
’
d be getting shortly. The shop was a disaster. Dust everywhere. Piles of books stacked haphazardly on every imaginable horizontal surface.

“
Damn. This is going to take forever.
”
They hadn
’
t been in the bookstore since they
’
d gone to St. Maarten
’
s. It had been so easy to just plan to do it the next day and then the next and then the next. So months had passed.

Ingrid looked smug.
“
Nope. I
’
ve been practicing useful magic. Cleaning. Watch this.
”

She mumbled something and pointed her fingers toward a bookshelf. Emily watched in amazement and excitement as sparks of magic flew from Ingrid
’
s fingertips toward the shelf.

Ingrid explained.
“
That is a dusting spell.
”

The glimmers of light flitted toward the shelf and got brighter and bigger as they reached their destination. There was a loud crackle and then the entire bookshelf fell, spilling books all over the ground.

Emily covered her ears and yelled over the commotion.
“
Uh, that
’
s an interesting way to dust.
”

“
Damn. Damn. Damn,
”
Ingrid shouted.
“
That was supposed to work.
”

Emily smiled.
“
Yeah, that
’
s what we always say.
”
Then she saw something move behind the fallen shelf.
“
Ingrid. Did you see that?
”

“
See what? The bookshelf fall over? The bookstore being messier than ever. The future when Hazel shows up and tells us what idiots we are?
”

“
No, I think I saw someone. Or something.
”

“
In here?
”
Ingrid asked, alarm in her voice.

“
Yeah, you know, I swear it looked like Dickhead.
”

“
Your ex? No way. Oh, come on, Universe. What did we ever do to you? We don
’
t kill puppies, we try to be nice to people. Why, why? Why do you have to let Dickhead Owen show up and haunt our bookstore?
”

Emily listened to Ingrid complain to the universe. It would have been hard to believe before they
’
d started driving the Camaro. But now
…

She wanted to move toward the apparition she saw. Wanted to make sure what she saw was not in fact her dead husband. It wasn
’
t that she was particularly opposed to ghosts. She was just vehemently unwelcoming of her cheating douchebag ex-husband in her bookstore. This was her space. Hers and Ingrid
’
s. Just because he
’
d died there didn
’
t mean he had the right to hang around.

“
No. We need to get him out of here. You keep an eye out for him. I'm gonna find one of our grimoires. I know I saw something one time about capturing spirits. I
’
m not gonna let this guy mess with my life from the freaking grave. Screw that. I
’
ll find a way to kill him all the way dead this time.
”

“
But Aunt Hazel. She
’
ll freak about the condition of the shop.
”

“
Whatever. I don
’
t care about that. Owen is way worse than the wrath of my aunt.
”

Emily went to the back of the store where they kept all their reference books, none of which they
’
d ever bothered to read. She searched through several volumes before she finally found a leather-bound one that had a symbol of a reaper
’
s scythe on the spine.

“
This is it.
”

“
You found it? Like for real?
”
Ingrid asked.
“
How
’
d you find it so fast?
”

“
Well, Owen here, our not-so-friendly ghost, is dead, right?
”

Ingrid looked irritated.
“
Yeah, obviously.
”

Emily went on.
“
So that means that we need death magic. I remember this book from when I was a kid. My mom had a particular fascination with necromancy.
”

“
Necro
—
what? Isn
’
t that where people have sex with dead people? That is just disgusting, Emily. I never knew that about your mom. I
’
m not sure you and I can continue to be friends. I mean, you are related to a total pervert. Your mom was one sick dove.
”

Emily rolled her eyes.
“
Gross, Ingrid. That
’
s a necrophiliac. Totally different thing. A necromancer is someone that can do death magic.
”

“
Oh, right. Still sounds creepy, but at least your mom wasn
’
t some sort of sex-freak.
”

“
Anyway, I especially like this book because the pictures are pretty awesome.
”

Ingrid peeked over Emily's shoulder as she flipped through the book.
“
Um, if by awesome you mean gruesome and horrific.
”

“
No, look at this one. We can totally torture Dickhead beyond the grave. We just have to use this spell to trap him, then we can have our way with him.
”