My Brother's Best Friend (22 page)

Explain? No.

I didn’t pick up the phone when it rang again. Instead I called back to Shelly and asked her to cover for me. I grabbed my bag and told her I wasn’t feeling well. She nodded and wished I would feel better.

“Oh and if anyone calls on my personal line, just let it go.”

“Sure. Hey, what happened to your flowers?”

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. “They died. It was time to put them out of their misery.”

She waved and I left. Instead of going home, I went to school and sat in the student lounge, watching all the students walk by, laughing and smiling.

I want to say I got a lot of my schoolwork done, but I think I was mostly lost in my surroundings. I can’t even remember if I ate lunch. I managed to keep the time, though, and make it to my appointment with Dr. Stone.

Dr. Stone took one look at me and asked, “What happened?”

I collapsed on the couch and immediately grabbed the tissues. I wiped the tears away and tried my best to tell him the story. After a few failed attempts, Dr. Stone offered his thoughts.

“Does this have to do with your hypothetical situation you asked about last session?”

I nodded my head and continued to wipe away the flowing tears.

“Did something happen between you and Devin?”

I nodded again, trying to slow my breathing.

“What happened, Christy? I can’t help you unless you tell me what happened.”

I sniffed and said rather pathetically, “Okay.”

I started at the beginning and even told him about my feelings for Devin. “I never stopped loving him, Dr. Stone. I see that now. I only used my anger to mask what I was really feeling.” I then continued to tell him everything that led to last night, sparing no details.

His eyes widened when I told him about sleeping with Devin. Then when I told him we hadn’t talked about ending what we started, he pursed his lips and began to scribble notes.

“Then yesterday we were supposed to meet at my house. Megan told me to tell Devin the truth and I was going to tell him, but I—I found him upstairs with my sister.” I was tearing up again but managed to tell him every detail I remembered.

When I was finished, Dr. Stone sat silent, looking down at his notepad then finally after an excruciating silence he spoke. “Hmm. Have you considered that your feelings may actually be reciprocated?”

“I found him about to have sex with my little sister!”

“He did say it was a trick by your sister, did he not?”

“It’s just an excuse.”

“Megan told you that Emily confessed, right?”

I didn’t want to believe anything that had been said by anybody.

“Have you considered that you don’t want to believe the truth because it would force you to tell Devin how you feel? And maybe you are scared that his feelings aren’t reciprocated, so you decide to believe what you saw and not what you know?”

“And what do I know?”

“That your sister is jealous of you and fancies herself in love with Devin. That Devin has always told you the truth so why would he lie to you?”

“Because he doesn’t want to be caught for cheating!”

“You two were never a real couple.”

“So it makes it okay to have sex with my sister?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You were never a couple but the way you both reacted was as if you two really cared for each other. His desperation in trying to contact you suggests to me that he does in fact reciprocate your feelings.”

I didn’t say anything, I only looked down at my shoes.

“I want you to look back through your journal, looking at even the portions before Mitchell and Megan left and see for yourself how Devin feels. I’m sure he’s expressed it, you just didn’t realize it.”

I opened my mouth to refute the possibility, but unfortunately was cut off by the door swinging open violently and Devin rushing in like a mad man.

I hate to admit it, but my heart fluttered at the sight of him, making me temporarily forget that he had hurt me to the core. The second my mind jostled me awake, I was out of my chair, yelling at him to stay away from me.

“Do you realize how worried I have been?” he yelled, stepping forward toward me.

“What are you doing here?” I accused him. “Get out! I don’t want to see you!”

“You haven’t answered my calls or any of my texts and when I asked Megan, she said you had left work. I thought you were…I didn’t know where you were.”

I looked at him with angry eyes. “You thought I would kill myself? I would never think of doing that again. I can’t believe you would think I was capable of hurting myself that way. And even to think it was because you hurt me? Please, I wouldn’t waste my life due to something you did!”

“I didn’t think you would do that! I thought you could have been hurt. Your phone was off, no one had heard from you all day! I care about you, so how could you think I wouldn’t be worried?”

“You don’t care about me! It was just some stupid agreement we made. We were never a couple! Stop pretending like I mean anything to you!”

“Then why are you so mad at me?”

I stared him straight in the eyes, “Because I love you and you hurt me deeply with whatever it was you were doing with my sister!”

“You love me?”

“Loved! You hurt me, Devin. I gave you my heart and you threw it away!”

“I never threw it away! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Your sister texted me with your phone and lured me to your place. The lights were off and—”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“Nothing happened, Chris! I walked in and she mauled me. I pushed her away and turned on the lights. She was already dressed like...well, she threw the picture on your desk at me. Nothing happened! I wouldn’t lie to you! You have given me your heart, but don’t you see that I have given you mine too.”

Tears came to my eyes at his words. How I wished they were true. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear any of it!” I grabbed my bag and tried to pass him, but he held me back. “Let go of me!”

“You're blind sometimes, CJ. I've told you so many times and you just don't see it. I told you all you had to do was ask me a question and I would tell you the truth. Ask me.”

I looked up at him. “Why did you make fun of me in high school for my journal?”

“What does—” He stopped and sighed. He knew I asked because I wanted to see if he would tell me the truth. “Because I thought you were nerdy and it was pathetic that you thought you were going to marry me. I didn’t like your brother making jokes about us so I started making fun of you.”

I nodded. It still didn’t prove anything. “Did you want to sleep with my sister?”

“No. Never.”

“Did you think she was me when you first walked into the room?”

He paused and nodded.

“Did you kiss her?”

He looked hurt but nodded once again.

My eyes filled with tears and my voice shook. “Did you get any of my messages?”

“I got Emily’s forged message before my phone died, but I didn’t get yours until after I went home.”

“How did you know it wasn’t me?”

“Her kiss…it wasn’t yours. I realized pretty quickly, but she had already...”

“She was the one undoing your...” I couldn’t even say it out loud.

“Yes.”

I nodded my head and wiped the tears rolling down my face. “Did you touch her?” I gulped.

His own eyes were glistening and he nodded. “The darkness played with my senses. I...I kissed her neck, thinking it was you and ran my hands down her sides. Before anything else happened, she kissed me and I knew it wasn’t you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re being honest, that’s what I asked for.” My voice shook. “Now I would like it if you respect my privacy.”

“Please, Chris. You didn’t ask me the most important question. When I realized it was Emily, I could have easily let it go. I could have had her, but I pushed her away. Why?”

I looked up at him and stepped to the side to get around him as I wiped the tears falling down my face. “Leave me alone, Devin. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m tired of it, and I just...I just want to leave. I can’t look at you. I just can’t handle anything more.”

“You think it’s over? You told me you gave me your heart. Well, I didn’t throw it away. I gave you my own. It’s been in your possession since I saved you from yourself.”

I looked up at Devin, wanting nothing more than for his words to be true. My heart was still heavy, though, and my mind clouded. I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself, let alone trust Devin. I had been burned before.

“Think about the assignment I gave you, Christy,” Dr. Stone said. I had completely forgotten that he had just witnessed everything that had happened.

I nodded my head and took one last look at Devin before walking out of the office. I cried the whole way home.

When I pulled up to the house I sat for a while, thinking about everything Devin had said. It only made me seethe with anger. My sister completely violated my privacy and even worse, she wanted to damage me, to hurt me with her stunt.

I got out of the car and marched angrily up to the house.

I slammed the front door and ran up the stairs, trying to get to my room but Emily stopped me. She was the last person I wanted to see right then, besides Devin of course.

“Christy, I’m sorry for what I did,” she sobbed. Her tears meant nothing to me at that moment. “It’s not what you think. Devin...”

I lost it. The minute she said his name. I couldn’t contain all the feelings I was bottling up inside. My fury was like a volcanic eruption. “Shut up, Emily! Just shut up! You don’t care about what happened to me. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You think you’re so cool by dating a new guy every week, but you know what that makes you? A whore! You steal other people’s boyfriends at school and now you’ve ruined my life by taking something of mine away. So don’t apologize if you don’t mean it and don’t talk to me about Devin. You are a selfish spoiled little brat who thinks she can just take what she wants with no consequences, but pretty soon the girls you call your friends will turn on you. They’ll call you out for stealing their boyfriends and you know where that will leave you? On the bottom of the totem pole. No one will want to be your friend. You will be ostracized even from your own cheerleading buddies.”

“Christy!” Mitchell yelled, coming up the stairs.

“You know you think the same thing. She disrespects me, you and now Megan. Do you think it will get better, Mitch? Do you?” I turned back to Emily. “You need to pull your act together because sooner or later your house of cards is going to collapse and no one is going to want to help you pick up the pieces. It’s about time you start respecting Mitch and Megan. They love you and care for you and are trying their damnedest to make you happy and all you do is throw dirt in their face. And me? You’ve hated me since Mom and Dad died! I gave up everything I had for you. I gave up my dreams. I gave up Yale, all so Mitch and I could keep you clothed and fed. We both sacrificed so we wouldn’t have to split up the family. You don’t even know the half of what happened that year.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize unless you mean it, Em.” I paused briefly before continuing my rant. “You know what hurts me the most? My own sister betrayed me. I can live with the fact that my life is in shambles right now, but what really tears at me is the fact that you just ripped my heart out and spat on it like it meant nothing to you, like your sister meant nothing to you. I’ve dealt with humiliation and suffered through betrayal before, but to be betrayed by my own sister, that’s worse than getting humiliated in front of the entire school. That’s worse than finding out my whole senior year was a joke. Did you know how much I suffered senior year?”

Emily shook her head, probably afraid to talk.

“My whole relationship with Eric was a joke. He filmed it as a prank and showed it to the entire school. I was known as the sucker for falling for Eric. I was mocked and teased and then to find out Mom and Dad had died I just couldn’t take it.”

“Chris—” Mitch said, climbing the stairs.

“No!” Tears were now freely flowing down my cheeks. “You want to know the real reason I see Dr. Stone? Because I tried to kill myself four years ago. I almost succeeded too. If it weren’t for Devin, you would have had to bury me too! I bet you would have noticed then! So for me to find you,” I pointed angrily at Emily, “in my bedroom with the guy I love—have always loved—hits me deeper than you can possibly imagine. I hate you, Emily. And I hope you realize what you’ve done. Now leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you, any of you.” I walked into my room and shut the door, locking it behind me.

I ripped the bed covers and sheets off the bed and tossed them to the other side of the room, then threw my pillow, hard. I went into my closet and pulled down a suitcase from the shelves and began to throw clothes into it. I just had to get out of the room. I needed to leave. My first thought was the guest room, but images of Devin lying in bed began to flood my mind and I knew I couldn’t do it. I still loved him, no matter how many times I said I hated him. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

Instead I pulled out my phone and texted a person I had only met recently, but who had a heart of gold and I knew would understand.

Hey, Larissa. I have a favor to ask.

Hey, Christy! We just finished shooting for the day.

What do you need?

Can I hang out at your place? Something happened

and I need a place to crash for the night.

Sure, of course. It’s the penthouse suite at the Beverly

Hills Hotel. I’ll let them know you’re coming.

Thank you.

I walked downstairs with my bag but before I could get out, Mitchell stopped me. Megan came up behind him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to stay with Larissa. I can’t stay in that room.”

Mitchell nodded. “What really happened, Christy? While we were gone? Megan didn’t tell me much, just that...”

“The short version? I fell in love with your best friend who I tried to hate for the longest time.”