My Misery Muse (2 page)

The barista eyed him cautiously, “You mean Dev; yea she’s in here every morning, why?”

“Do you know where I can find her?” I asked.

“Yea sure, she works next door at Pin’s Ink, I have some of her business cards if you want one, over there on the counter.” With that she turned and went to the next customer.

I grabbed a card and glanced down,
Devlin Porter- Artist
. Huh so she finally did it. I smiled at the memory of the two of us in our shithole apartment, Devi with her sketch pad working on something as usual and me behind her kissing her neck and trying to break her concentration.  It never worked, she would just shrug me off and go back to her design.  At that point, she was going to art school as well as working nights at an obscure shop as an intern doing generic flash that she would try and spice up without Trix, her mentor, finding out.  He always knew, though he never said anything to her about it. 

I walked out into the sunlight pulled my sunglasses from my pocket and put them on then walked by the shop but couldn’t see Devi inside.  Oh well I thought, I would find her soon enough of that I was damn determined.  I walked over to my ‘
67
72
Chevelle
SS Coupe
and got in just as my cell rang, I quickly pulled it out of my pocket, glanced down, sighed and answered it.

“I’m on my way now,” I growled then hung up, with one more glance at the parlor where Devi worked, I took off.

Crispin was still watching me after my hysterical laughing jag and I knew I wouldn’t get away with  telling him what was wrong.  Concern was etched across his features. He knew me too well to know that nothing was wrong, might as well get it over with.

I looked him in the eye and told him, “Seth is back.”

That’s all it took Crispin was next to me in a second.  “Back, what do you mean back, and how do you know?” he asked.

“I just saw him next door at Joe’s.”

“Oh damn,” was all he could said and that about summed it up for me as well.

I stood and looked at my friend again, “I need to get out front, I have an appointment in a few minutes and I want to double check my station.”

I turned away and walked out, hoping that if I dived into work I wouldn’t have to think about Seth and what his return meant, and worst of all, how still at just a glance he could affect me as no one else ever has. I walked by the stereo on the way to my station,  flipped on
Sevendust
and cranked it up loud.

I glanced up at the clock and had to do a double take, how was it already 5 o’clock? I was almost finished with the piece I was working on but knew I had another appointment after this one; I would never get out in time to pick up Jaks. I glanced over and saw Cris finish taping off his client and discussing aftercare. 

“Hey Cris, how long until your next appointment?”

He glanced over at the clock, “In about an hour, why need me to go get Jaks?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, I am almost finished with him. Then I have one more that should be here any minute, everything is all worked up for it. It shouldn’t take more than an hour or so.”

I glanced over at Jules our shop tech, “Hey Jules, do you mind babysitting duty for a little bit, my treat on first round next time we go to margarita night?”

Jules looked over and laughed, “Dev, you do not have to bribe me to watch that angel but I’ll still take you up on margarita night.”

With Jaks taken care of, I went back to the tribal arm band I was working on, and finished coloring everything in with the Indian black ink.  Cris finished up with his customer, gave me a wave and left to get Jaks.

Just as my customer was walking out the door, Cris came in carrying Jaks.  He saw me and started shrieking and wiggling to get away from Cris.  Cris put him down and Jaks took off when his feet barely touched the floor.  I snatched him up and kissed him.  He looked at me and gave me his lopsided grin, and I thought back to when I saw Seth at the café this morning.  Looking at Jaks was like looking at a carbon copy of Seth.  The black hair and green eyes, dimple in his left cheek, and the lopsided grin that won women’s hearts everywhere.  The only part of me I see in my son is the creases that form between his eyebrows when he’s upset.

“Hey baby, how was school?” I asked Jaks.

“It good, Moli kissed me again,” replied Jaks.

I laughed, my son was a lady killer just like his dad. “OK baby, Mommy is almost done, why don’t you go play with Jules while I finish up?”

“K Mommy,” he replied and I put him down and watched him bolt.

 I glanced over at Cris and caught him covering a laugh at Jaks being kissed again at school. He looked up and winked at me then walked over to his station and starts prepping for his next client.  I blew Jaks one more kiss then went to do the same while Jules took Jaks back to the office to play while I finished up with my work.

¯¯¯

I looked through the window of the shop and watched her work; damn, she’s amazing. I still can’t believe it’s been almost 3 years since I last saw her.  She was 19 then and I was 21, both stupid kids in love.  She never wavered from her plans or her vision for her life, while I drifted with my music, the guys and I messing around not really getting serious until I was 20.  The big reason I got serious was because of her, she had it all planned out at the age of 16, get into art school, moonlight as an apprentice for a tattoo artist and start her career on her terms by the age of 20.  She even went to the effort of graduating a year early from high school so she could make her dream come true.  All I was doing was screwing around with my bass and drinking with the guys, I decided if she could go after her dreams then I could too, I owed her that much. 

I looked at her again and saw her smiling and laughing at something her customer said.  Did another quick glance around the shop and saw Cris sitting across from her with his own customer laughing, hmm so she’s working with Cris now, I didn’t expect that.  I opened the door and walked in, neither of them looked up immediately, her client is asking her about her tats and then points out one particular one that’s on her forearm.  I can’t help but chuckle, remembering the story about the 50’s pin up sitting in a provocative pose straddling a tattoo gun that was inked into her forearm.  She stopped what she was doing when she heard me chuckle and looked up at me. When I look into her eyes I am not sure what I first saw there, it looked like panic, but I brush it away.

“She got that particular tat in LA, 5 years ago.”  I said, “She always has been a fan of pin up girls and tattoo guns.” I looked up and our eyes met.  Her customer looked at me then to her and decided not to comment.

We just stared at each other and the tension was building between us as it always did, she licked her bottom lip and I couldn’t help but notice the stirring in my pants.  Then she looked back at her work and didn’t look back up.  At that point, Cris finished with his piece, got up and walked over to me.

“Hey Seth long time, how have you been doing?” he asked.

I shot a glance back at Devi then answered, “Oh you know touring, working in the studio.”

He grinned, “Sounds like fun, so is it just you in town or are all the boys back?”

“We’re all back for a while, Xavier set up a studio at his place and we decided to work on this album at home.”

I noticed Cris shoot a glance over towards Devi and couldn’t help glancing over myself, she was still studiously ignoring me.

“Well I am finished up for the night Seth, want to go out and grab a beer or two, catch up and all that?”

Just then a guy came in from somewhere in back, he looked faintly familiar but I couldn’t place him.

“Dev, your monster was using my pencils again. I had to sharpen them again, that’s the third time this week,” he said.

She glanced up and smirked at him, “Yea well, if you put your shit up he wouldn’t get to them, would he?” she responded.

He looked over at Cris, “You’re not going to say anything are you?” he asked.

Cris looked at him, “Nope, cause I had to pick them up off the floor again, so I left them on the desk for him to color with, start putting your stuff up.”  Cris shook his head and looked at me again.

“So what do you say about those beers?” he asked.

The guy stomped off muttering under his breath, I looked over at Devi and saw she was just finishing up with cleaning her client off.  Then a door banged open and with a squeal a little kid streaked out of the room laughing and a young girl running after him.  Cris spun around and the kid leapt to him laughing the whole time while the girl was muttering under her breath.  Cris looked over at me then at Devi who had stopped what she was doing to stare at the child.  I got my first good look at him and felt like I had been sucker punched and all the air left my body as I looked at my face on this little
boy
[TK1]
 
.

All I could do was watch as Jaks shot out of the office with Jules chasing behind him.  I knew that at some point Seth would find out about Jaks, I just never knew what or how I would tell him.  After he left for LA and his record deal and I found out I was pregnant. I tried contacting him but he was always in the studio, or he had a show. Finally I tried again, and she answered, telling me that Seth was no longer available, and that I could stop calling her fiancé that they both thought it was pathetic that I still insisted on talking to him.  After that I stopped, and put my life back together, started working for Crispin when he opened the shop, and made a family for myself and my son with his help.  I knew Cris wanted more, he also understood I couldn’t give it. First, I had to get over Seth then I had Jaks to take care of, so he stood beside me helping in any way he could and for that I will be eternally grateful to him.

I looked at Seth and he just stood there staring at Jaks. Unsure of what I should do, I stood and walked over to Cris held my hands out for Jaks and he sprung like a coil out of Cris’s hands into mine.  I looked at Cris and with a silent conversation he went to tape up my client and talk about after care instructions while I dealt with Seth.

“Hi baby, what have you been up too?”  I asked Jaks.

“Mommy I color with Ju,” he said.

“So I heard, can you go get your pictures and bring them here so I can see them, sweetie?” I asked.  He nodded his head wiggled to get free, I put him down and he took off to get his art work with Jules chasing after him.

I looked up at Seth and he was watching Jaks as he ran from the room.  Then he turned to me and his beautiful grass green eyes were hard.  God, he was gorgeous with his hair all messed up like he just tumbled out of bed, tight vintage rock t-shirt and faded worn jeans that fit over his thighs and down his legs like a second skin.  But the look on his face showed that he was pissed. 

“How old is he?  Damn, I don’t even know my own fucking son’s name.  How could you keep this from me Devi?”  Seth all but yelled.

“Not here,” I said looking around the shop, then started off towards the back where we could get more privacy.  Sitting at one of the light tables were two of the other artists that worked at the shop, Vic and Max watching what he was doing, they both glanced up when they heard the door open.  Max smiled when he saw Seth walk in behind me.

“Seth, what are you doing in town, my brother didn’t say anything about you guys coming back,” asked Max.

“We just got in today, it was a spur of the moment thing,” said Seth.

Max got a good look at Seth at that point then looked at me; I saw on his face that he knew exactly what was going on.

“Hey Vic come on, we both have work to do, nice seeing you Seth,”  Max said then grabbed a sputtering Vic out of the chair and shoved him out the door.  When the door closed, I finally chanced another look at Seth; he stood there with his jaw tense and both hands in tight fists.

“I can’t believe you would keep something like this from me Devi,” he said.

“I tried getting ahold of you—” I tried to say but he cut me off.

“Tried, you tried, it’s not that hard, you could have called me. Hell, you could have had someone tell one of the guys you needed to talk to me,” he yelled. “I had the right to know.”

I waited until I knew he was done before I said, “I did call you, and someone else always answered saying you were busy. I had Max tell Sam to have you call me; Max said he couldn’t ever get ahold of Sam either.  After 6 months, I finally got a girl named Chloe on your phone. She told me she was your fiancée and that I needed to stop calling, so I stopped calling, and got back to my life.”