My Secret Diary (15 page)

'Are you Jacky's dad?' asked Colin.

'No, he's my . . . Uncle Ron,' I said.

'OK, Uncle Ron, can Jacky come and hang out
with us over at the beach huts?' said Colin.

'Well, that's fine with me, but I expect she should
ask her mum first. And she's got to come back up
the beach with me for her picnic lunch.'

'She could have a picnic at our hut. My mum
always has heaps,' said Cookie.

'Or we could come with you and wait till she's
had her picnic and then walk back with her,' said
Colin, licking the last of his choc ice from
the wrapper.

So they ambled along beside us. My heart
was beating fast underneath my white T-shirt.
It was wonderful having not one but two boys
begging for my company – and Cookie seemed
so
special
.

Biddy sat up and blinked when we got back to
our little camp. There I was, a boy on either side
of me. Harry looked startled, Grace mildly
surprised. Uncle Ron did the introductions and
Colin sat down cross-legged at once and started
chatting nineteen to the dozen. Cookie was much
quieter, though he politely answered all Biddy's
questions. He lived in Sale, he was fifteen years
old, he went to a grammar school.

'Mum!' I mumbled. She'd be asking him what
his father did for a living next.

Grace took over the picnic, arranging pasties
and Scotch eggs on the paper bags and circling
them with tomatoes. I was so excited I just nibbled
at a Scotch egg and then an apple.

'Don't you like pasties, Jacky? I
love
them,' said
Colin blatantly.

Grace offered him one and he wolfed it down.

'I don't suppose there are any crisps going
spare?' he said.

Cookie had a few crisps too, and then stood up.
'So it's OK if Jacky comes with us this afternoon?'
he asked Biddy. 'We're number sixty-eight if you
need to come and find her. Otherwise I'll walk her
back to your hotel by six – is that all right?'

'
I'll
walk her, seeing as it's my hotel too,'
said Colin.

'Well, just so long as
one
of you gets her back
safely. She's such a daydreamer, she'd never find
her way back on her own,' said Biddy, but she was
smiling. 'Off you go then.'

I ran off with Cookie and Colin. We walked along
the water's edge, suddenly all of us at a loss for
words, even Colin. He started messing around,
barging into Cookie, splashing him, trying to
wrestle with him. I edged away, not wanting to get
my lilac skirt splashed. Maybe I should have
changed back into my swimming costume? No,
maybe not. They both stared at me a bit too much
as it was.

'What's up, Jacky? Come in paddling,' said
Colin, kicking his way through the waves.

'I don't want to get all wet again,' I said.

'Have you been swimming this morning then?'
Cookie asked.

'Yep. Well, surfriding,' I said.

'She's really good at it,' said Colin, though he'd
never seen me.

'So are you a really sporty girl then?'

'No fear! I
hate
most sports. It's my worst thing
at school,' I said. 'I can't catch a ball and I can't
run for toffee.'

'But you like swimming?'

'Yes, I love it.'

'Maybe you're a mermaid,' said Cookie. 'Perhaps
you've got green scales under your pretty skirt.'

We both blushed. Colin sighed and went tearing
along, kicking hard, lost in a plume of spray.

The sun came out from behind a cloud and shone
on the blue water. I looked at the sea, the sky,
the sands.

'It's so lovely here,' I said.

'I know. We come every year.' Cookie looked up
the beach to the rocks. 'There are caves in there.
We could go exploring.'

'I don't think I've ever been in a proper cave
before. Do they go back a long way?'

'Some of them do. When I was little I used to
like setting up camp in them. I'd take a rug and
my spade and some chocolate and stuff and crouch
there in the dark, kidding on I was in some Enid
Blyton book.'

'
The Cave of Adventure
! I read heaps of those.
I love reading. Not Enid Blyton now, of course.'

'What do you like reading now then?'
asked Cookie.

I had enough sense not to try and answer him
properly as it would have taken all afternoon.

'I've just read a book called
Billy Liar
,' I said.

'Oh, I've read that,' said Cookie. 'It's good, isn't
it. Funny. Those calendars!'

He really
had
read it.

'I wish he'd gone to London in the end,'
I said.

'I'm going to go to London one day,' said Cookie.
'And I'll come and visit you and we'll go to . . . ?'
He looked at me for suggestions.

'We'll go to all the coffee bars and jazz cellars
in Soho,' I said, as if I frequented them every day.
I thought hard, remembering my trips to the Royal
Dental Hospital. 'And we'll have a meal at the
Golden Egg in Leicester Square and then go
dancing at the Empire Ballroom.'

'Jiving,' said Cookie, suddenly taking hold of my
hand and whirling me round.

'Come
on
, you two,' Colin yelled. 'What are
you
doing
?'

'We're dancing,' said Cookie.

'Oh, right. OK, so am I,' said Colin, and
he started capering around too, splashing more
than ever.

It took us ages to get to the beach hut, but
Cookie's parents seemed entirely unfazed. His dad
just smiled and waved at Colin and me and then
went back to his paper. His mum went into the
beach hut and brought back four cans of Tizer and
a mound of egg sandwiches in a big Oxo tin. The
fourth can was for Cookie's sister, a shy, sweet girl
several years younger than me. She looked
admiringly at my flowery skirt and coral lipstick.
My heart was beating fast again. I wasn't the
shy young girl this time. I was the older girl with
the cool clothes and make-up, the one the
boys liked.

We ate and drank and then played a silly game
of deck quoits, where luckily you didn't need much
skill at all. Then Cookie and Colin and I went down
the beach near the sea where the sand was firm
and started making a giant boat with some old
spades that had been propped up inside the beach
hut. Colin dug wildly of course, flinging sand over
his shoulder, but he had bags of energy and got a
lot done. Cookie was good at organizing the shape
of the boat, smoothing and sculpting carefully. I
wandered around collecting shells to stud the sides
of the boat and carved stylized waves all around it.

It took us
hours
but it was a truly magnificent
boat by the time we'd finished it. We clambered
gingerly inside on the sand seat, begging Colin to
be extra careful. Then the three of us sat there,
feeling proud and yet a little foolish too, because
we weren't children any more.

'What are we supposed to do now?' said Cookie.

'We row the boat to China,' said Colin, using his
spade like an oar.

We all three rowed wildly, singing the Row-row-row-
your-boat song, waiting for the sea to come
splashing up around us.

'I wish we could keep it. It's a magnificent boat,'
I said wistfully.

'We can build another boat tomorrow,' said
Cookie.

'Yeah, we'll build an even bigger boat tomorrow,'
said Colin. 'A houseboat, with a proper room inside,
with beds and benches and all sorts.'

'No, no, a cruiser the length of the beach,'
said Cookie.

'Like the
Queen Elizabeth
. Only we'll call it the
Queen Jacky
!' said Colin, cackling with laughter.

Cookie came with us back to the hotel. 'I wish
I was staying here too,' he said.

'Yeah, I shall have Jacky all to myself every
evening
and
every morning before breakfast.' Colin
thumped his chest Tarzan-style and gave a loud
jungle yodel.

I shook my head at him. 'Idiot!' Then I looked
at Cookie. 'See you tomorrow then?'

I saw him every single day. I wanted to stay with
them all the time but I was forced to go on all the
outings Biddy and Grace had planned, though I
always had several hours on the beach with Cookie
and Colin. I plucked up the courage to go swimming
with them – at least I could retire into the beach
hut to change into my costume, rather than
struggling inelegantly under a towel.

I blushed as I stepped outside in my blue and
white swimming costume. It suddenly seemed
much too skimpy and revealing. Colin wolf-whistled,
inevitably, but Cookie smiled at me and
held out his hand to take me down to the sea. We
ran right into the water and started jumping each
wave and then diving like otters until our eyes were
stinging with the salt.

We queued at the surf shack another day and I
showed off my surfboard skills to both boys, and
then we went back to the beach hut and wrapped
ourselves in big towels and ate sandwiches from
the Oxo tin.

Biddy was worried that the Cooksons might
think I was sponging off them, so she gave me
money to treat everyone to ice creams. Mrs
Cookson invited Biddy and Harry and Ron
and Grace to the beach hut and the adults all
had a cup of tea together while we fidgeted and
fussed, and then declared we were going off for
a walk.

We splashed along at the sea's edge, Colin and
Cookie often wrestling and fooling around or telling
idiotic jokes or making stupid noises. I'd get
impatient and think,
What am I doing here with
these two loonies
? and I'd wish myself back with
my books and my journal. Then Cookie would
suddenly take my hand or Colin would say
something so utterly silly I'd burst out laughing,
and I'd realize I wanted to be with them more than
anyone else in the world.

Well . . . I liked Colin very much, fool that he
was, but I liked Cookie much more. Whenever Colin
whooped off by himself for a minute or two we
talked hurriedly, suddenly serious. Once or twice
Cookie said, 'Let's push off, just you and me, just
for a little while, please.'

'But what about Colin? Wouldn't it hurt his
feelings if we push off by ourselves?' I asked
anxiously.

'Oh, never mind Colin,' said Cookie – but he was
just as concerned about upsetting him as I was. We
stayed a threesome all week.

We went exploring in the caves one afternoon.
I was initially disappointed. They were damp and
chilly and rather smelly. Every now and then you
slipped on empty crisp packets or tripped over beer
bottles. Still, it was fun feeling our way through
all the winding passages. There was always a
thrilling clutch of fear that we would get totally
lost and end up going further and further into the
dark interior. The constant drip of water from the
roof made me wonder if the sea could possibly
suddenly come surging in . . .

Colin was very taken up by the echo possibilities
in the caves and went running ahead, yodelling
enthusiastically. I sighed and went to follow him,
but Cookie held onto me, steering me round a rocky
boulder. He didn't say anything. He just put
his arms round me and bent his head and kissed
me. I kissed him back, clinging to him, and
for a few moments we were lost in our world – but
then a manic cry circled round our heads:
'
Jackyyyyyyyy – Cookieeeeeeee!
' We laughed and
went to find Colin.

I spent far more time with Colin than with
Cookie, because we had our evening meal back at
the hotel. I got changed quickly and went down to
the recreation room, where Colin and I played
endless games of ping-pong, plus a silly version of
Snakes and Ladders, going up every snake and
down every ladder.

There was a special dance at our hotel on
Friday evening.

'So
I'll
be dancing with Jacky all evening,' Colin
crowed triumphantly.

'No,
I
will,' said Cookie. 'I'll come to the dance.'

'It's meant to be for residents only,' said Colin.

'And their guests,' said Cookie firmly. He looked
me in the eye. 'I'm definitely coming.'

I didn't fool around playing games with Colin
on Friday before dinner. I locked myself in the
communal bathroom, ignoring the rattles on the
door from the other guests. I washed all the salt
out of my hair and had a quick bath. Then, back
in my room, I changed into my white dress with
the apricot sash. I was really brown now so it looked
good on me. I didn't bother with much make-up,
just mascara and lipstick. I stared at myself in the
mirror. It was as if I was looking at a girl in a
picture, not
me
. I seemed to have stepped out of
myself into a strange new girl who totally startled
me. I clutched the edge of the mirror, wanting to
hang onto myself in this moment.

I could barely eat my dinner I felt so
excited. We all went into the ballroom and sat at
little gilt tables around the edges of the room. I sat
with Biddy and Harry and Ron and Grace. Ron
bought us all a round of drinks and started
clowning about. Biddy laughed at his antics, but
Harry and Grace stayed po-faced. I think they were
both glad we were going home tomorrow. Biddy and
Ron were probably sad. And I was desperate.
I wanted to stay here in Newquay with Cookie
for ever.

I kept peering all round the room for him but
he wasn't there. People started plucking up the
courage to dance. I did a waltz with Harry, a
quickstep with silly twiddly bits with Ron. Colin
clearly wasn't up to any kind of ballroom dancing,
but he came charging across the room when they
announced a jiving session. He couldn't actually
jive either, but he jerked around and clicked his
fingers and kicked his legs while I circled him,
spinning round until I was dizzy.

I leaned against the wall, the room still spinning
even though I was still, and saw Cookie walking
calmly through the French windows at the end of
the room, in a white shirt and black trousers, his
hair gleaming gold.