(Never) Again (15 page)

“Go get the bleach before the stains set. I got this.” He pulled the garbage pail closer and began picking up pieces of glass.

I stared at him for a moment and debated asking where Tanya was, but then decided against it. He was being nice. There was no reason to go there.

I got to my feet and said, “Thanks.” I meant it. Since Zach had come back, he always seemed to be around when I needed him, and although I pretended like he was the last person I wanted there, secretly I was happy.

The music grew louder. I hoped that one of them would pass out soon, so I wouldn’t have to be subjected to the screaming atrocity they called music for much longer.

After fifteen minutes on my hands and knees scrubbing the white grout lines, they were finally clean. Zach had finished cleaning up the pieces of glass and returned to Tanya, who was making an impressive attempt at a keg stand. Wine and beer, the perfect combination for a hangover.

This morning, I couldn’t wait to have the party. I’d felt like it was something I had to experience, but I was over it. So over it. Now I secretly wished everyone would go home, so I could sit on my couch with a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and veg. As the band introduced their next song, I knew that wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

Maybe I could hide out in my room for a few minutes. Just until I got myself together. No, I couldn’t do that. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.

“We are Purge! Thanks for coming out tonight!” Scott screamed as if every person was there to see them, and not for the free beer. Sometimes he was completely delusional. But red Solo cups flew up in the air and the crowd matched him scream for scream.

“Great party.” I turned to find Josh standing beside me for the first time since I left him in the kitchen.

“And where have we been?” I asked, eyeing the Mardi Gras beads around his neck. I had no desire to find out where or how he got them.

“Checking out the new produce,” he said and scanned the girls in the room.

“You did not just refer to girls as produce.” He flashed a big-toothed grin in response.

The music had stopped momentarily and I glanced up to spot Joe, legs kicked up in the air, one hand on the keg as he chugged away. Thank God he wasn’t driving. The last thing I wanted at the end of the night was to play a game of give-me-your-keys.

“Is that . . . ?” He narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, it is. Catch you later,” and just like that my brother ran after the next girl. Some things never changed.

The band started up again. With nothing to clean up and everyone else lip-locked, I sat on the couch and played the groupie girlfriend, cheering Joe on. I was blowing his ego up, but hey, if that’s what made him happy, I was glad to oblige.

Scott screamed. Evan jumped. Charlie swayed. And Joe banged. It was the same constant rotation for another excruciating twenty-three minutes and fifty-two seconds. I would never get that time back.

I just had to get through this party, then on Monday I would finally be able to turn in my v-card and take my relationship with Joe to the next level. What that level actually was I had no idea, but I felt like I was ready for it. I was ready for anything other than this.

Maybe if I had sex with Joe I’d become his first priority and I wouldn’t have to compete with the band anymore. Maybe he was frustrated. I would be. I’m sure blue balls weren’t exactly the most pleasant feeling. It was time I followed through and showed him I was all in.

Monday could not come fast enough.

When Joe brought his arms down one final time and Evan planted his feet on the ground, I jumped from my spot on the couch, my hands smacking together. And not because they were amazing. It was over. Finally! My ears welcomed the obnoxious sounds of drunks. Anything but the agonizing racket of Purge.

“We freaking rock!” Joe said as he walked over triumphantly. I nodded, afraid if I opened my mouth, I would let him know how I really felt. I pressed my lips to his in hopes that if we kept the talking to a minimum, he wouldn’t ask me what my favorite song was, because honestly, I’d zoned out three minutes into their first set.

“Joe, you killed it!” Joe removed his lips from mine and we turned to see Chris from the beach clean-up committee. He was either deaf or really drunk. By the way he swayed, I’d bet my favorite pair of skinny jeans on the latter.

Joe turned to me with puppy-dog eyes, and I could tell he was drunkenly pleading with me to let him go hang out with his newfound groupies.

“Go ahead,” I said, a fake smile setting on my face.

“Aw, you’re the best, babe.” I stood on my tiptoes to give him a peck, but was left kissing air. By the time I returned to flat feet he held another beer and was talking with his new groupies. So much for that.

I scanned the crowd for Sadie, who’d been MIA since she’d dragged me into the bathroom. Maybe she and Matt had finally hooked up. I could only hope. There was more sexual tension between them than two rabbits in heat.

I discovered Vicky with her tongue down Evan’s throat. Who knew she’d find his bottle-shattering trick appealing?

Across the room Josh was surrounded by several girls as he told one of his baseball stories. All their overly mascaraed eyes hung on his every gesture and expression. Gag me.

I walked past them to the kitchen only to find Tanya sitting on Zach’s lap. He glanced up at me, but Tanya grabbed his face and turned his attention back to her. She said something, but no matter how hard I tried to make it out, I couldn’t hear over the guys cheering Joe on to “Chug! Chug! Chug!”

Tanya’s eyes were narrowed and dark with intensity. Not the look of a girl who was at a party having a good time. Oh no, this was the look of a girl who was not happy. At all.

With a flick of her hand, she sent her red curls bouncing over her shoulder. A defiant move. The universal girl move that means “I’m annoyed.”

“You know you’re beautiful.” Zach’s words were loud and clear.

And she was beautiful. Porcelain skin with the right amount of freckles to keep her from just being cute, green eyes that I would kill for, and soft red hair that you would never be able to reproduce from a bottle.

So why did hearing him say it bother me so much?

Before they saw me lingering in the doorway, I pushed through the crowd to my bedroom. I had made sure to shut my door before the party started but now it was slightly ajar.

A low moan echoed into the hallway, and I prayed it was one of the floorboards beneath me creaking under my weight.

I pushed my door opened and flipped on the switch.

“Oh, come on guys! On
my
bed? Really?” Ruthie sat up, adjusting her bra beneath her shirt while Scott shifted ever so slightly, as if I didn’t know he was rearranging himself.

“Sorry, Liz,” Scott said as he passed me on his way out, as if it was just another day and I hadn’t just found him getting ready to do things on my bed that
I
hadn’t even done.

“Yeah, sorry, Liz,” Ruthie said, smiling too enthusiastically for the situation. Scott had a perfectly good vehicle outside. Why’d they have to wind up on my bed? I made a mental note to strip my sheets when the party was over.

Scratch that. I didn’t want to forget. I closed the door, locked myself in and crumpled my sheets into a ball. Thank God Mom gave me new ones for Christmas or I’d be spending my night in the laundry room.

Once I was a hundred percent positive my bed was body-fluid free, I tossed my other sheets in the hamper, squirted some anti-bacterial gel in my hand and went back to the party.

The scent of Sadie’s lavender air freshener was no longer present, replaced by the smell of pot. How the smoke detector wasn’t going off was beyond me. It went off when I boiled water.

A blonde in the corner was surrounded by a group of guys as she attempted to take a sip from the beer bottle resting between her boobs. Now that was a talent she could put on her resume.

The beer can tower in the corner had grown to a height even the tallest guys couldn’t reach. A guy with my dish towel hanging from the back of his shirt like a cape stood on a chair and added another can to the top.

“Babe,” Joe said as soon as I stepped around a couple grinding on the makeshift dance floor.

“Hey, you,” I said, taking in his bloodshot eyes.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my chest obviously mistaking me for a pillow. “I love you,” he said.

“Love you too.”

“No, I really love you.” His hand slid up my arm, grazed the outside of my boob and stopped on the back of my head.

“And I love you too.” Did he want me to grab the microphone and sing it for everyone to hear?

His breath reeked of cheap beer, so I tried to keep my nose pointed towards his neck where I could faintly smell his cologne.

“Why don’t we go to your room?” He slowly backed me against the wall.

“Not tonight.” There was no way I would cash in my v-card with a party raging outside my door. I wanted it to be just a little more romantic than that.

“Come on, babe.” He trailed sloppy, drunken kisses up my neck. But after the wine bottle fiasco, hearing Zach tell Tanya she was beautiful, and basically walking in on Scott and Ruthie getting it on in my bed, my patience was shot. A drunken boyfriend was the last thing I felt like dealing with.

“Joe, not tonight baby. Come on, get off me. Let’s play a round of beer pong.” It was time for me to rejoin the party and have a few drinks. I pushed his lips away from my neck.

“We can play after. Come on. We’ll be fast.” Sure, because I always imagined my first time as a wham bam thank you ma’am.

“Joe. No!” My resistance prompted him to wrap his arms around me tighter, as if he thought I was playing hard to get.

I took my arms out from under him and pressed my hands to his shoulders.

“Don’t you love me?” he asked, his bloodshot eyes trying to focus on mine.

“Yes! Now get off of me. Come on.” I put a little more pressure on his shoulders and when he tried to move closer I snapped. “Joe, I said NO!” As the words escaped my mouth, I shoved Joe and went to walk away but he grabbed my arm and spun me towards him. I smacked against his chest, momentarily knocking the wind out of myself. I hadn’t meant to yell or attract any attention to us, but I clearly had.

Heads rotated in our direction. I gave a simple smile to assure everyone we were fine and it was just a stupid lover’s quarrel. But there was one person I couldn’t fool with my fake smile.

Zach stepped through the crowd. “Joe, man, why don’t you leave her alone.”

“Zach, I got this,” I said, urging him away with my eyes. The last thing I needed was my ex defending me from my current boyfriend.

“Dude, she’s my fucking girlfriend.” Joe pushed off the wall and stared at Zach. He swayed to the left, then to the right before leaning his shoulder against the wall. I wanted to curl into a ball and hide.

“Yeah, and you should treat her with a little respect,” Zach said. “Give her the space she asked for.” The veins in his neck were becoming visible as he spoke.

Joe pushed himself off the wall, trying to stand tall. “Why? So you can get in her pants? We all know you didn’t succeed last time.”

Before Joe’s words could fully register, Zach’s fist flew past me and made contact with Joe’s face.

Joe stumbled backwards, smacked into the wall and slid down it into a crumpled ball on the floor. Blood spewed from his nose.

“Oh my God! Joe!” I screamed and dropped to my knees beside him before turning back to Zach. “Why would you do that?” My eyes burned with anger as he stared back at me.

He flung his hands out in front of him. “Did you not hear him?!”

“He’s drunk!” Joe would never intentionally hurt me or force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. He wasn’t in his right frame of mind right now. Besides, I could handle myself. It wasn’t the first time that Joe’s drinking had caused him to come on to me strongly. And I was always able to get him under control without decking him.

“I don’t care if he’s drunk, stoned, or stupid, he had no right to—”

“Get out!” I pointed towards the door.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Get out.” Before I could reiterate, Josh broke through the crowd. Thank God. He would get Zach out of here. There was one thing Josh did not tolerate, and that was violence.

He leaned over, said something in Zach’s ear and gave him a friendly pat on the back. What the hell? Zach nodded and as he walked through the crowd, it parted as if he were Moses at the Red Sea. Tanya followed him out.

Josh headed towards me. He stopped at Joe’s feet and gave him one furious look before saying, “Get him the fuck out! Right now!”

“No!” My hands flew to my hips indignantly. Was Josh kidding me? Why would he take Zach’s side? Besides, this was
my
place. He didn’t make the rules. I did. Or Sadie. Where the hell was she?

“Liz, if you don’t get him out of here I will pick him up and throw him the fuck out.” Josh and I stared at each other for a few long seconds. The intensity in his usually kind eyes told me he wasn’t budging.

He wasn’t on my team anymore. My brother had jumped ship and was siding with the enemy.

“I hate you,” I mumbled as I helped Joe to his feet.

“You’ll get over it,” he spat back.

“Where’s Scott?” I yelled out to no one in particular. “If he’s in my bedroom, I will castrate him!”

“He’s putting the rest of the band’s stuff away,” someone in the crowd called out.

“Could you get him for me please?” Joe slumped against the wall and slid back down.

Scott appeared moments later. He didn’t seem surprised to see his best friend bleeding on the floor. He knelt down, threw Joe’s arm around his shoulder and stood up.

“Come on, you lush,” Scott said, shaking his head.