Never Been Loved (32 page)

“Baby, just kiss me. You can’t do anything wrong.”

She moves to her knees, swings a leg over and makes contact with my thighs.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. We’re in trouble.

I clench her thighs while my lips pull back from my teeth.

She’s going to kill me.

“Sera, how much have you had to drink?”

I know exactly how much she’s had to drink. Didn’t know that she needed some liquid courage to get this close to me. But something happened to her in the past, something I don’t know about yet, but hopefully will. All I need to do is erase it from her memory and replace it with something better.

Starting now, with her on top of me, and me barely keeping my shit calm.

“I’m good, Hunter
mou
,” she purrs, and says the last word with a wicked smile. My stomach clenches, and my dick is really throbbing now. I swallow past my dry throat, and try to take a deep breath.

Don’t move your hips, don’t fucking move. Just watch how it plays out.

“I really am. I just want to play. You’ll let me play, won’t you?” Sera’s hands are at my throat then around my neck. Christ, I didn’t know it would be like this.

She’s so beautiful, so alive, so healthy, and for some odd fucking reason, she wants me to kiss her.

If I was a cheesy bastard, I’d say dreams come true.

She gives me another slow smile, licking her lips, knowing exactly what it’s doing to me, how it’s making me lose my calm. I want her, I want her right now on this couch. Then the bed. Repeat five times.

“I don’t get it. Just kiss me. We don’t have to play games,” I say, wondering what the hell is going on.

Her fingers tighten around my neck, and she stares at me for what feels like years.

I chew on my lip and watch her eyes flare at that, her breathing coming faster. She sits more firmly on top of me, pulling us closer, and like a fly caught in a spider’s web I follow along to my destination. I move my hands to sit at her ribs, thumbs inches away from the paradise of her breasts, but I check myself, again.

Be a good boy.

“I’ve been told I’m a really bad kisser.”

Well, shit. I didn’t see that coming. Then again, maybe I did.

Sera’s been skittish since the beginning, nervous around me like I’m going to assault her. But maybe it was training, years and years of training in the form of verbal abuse.

I’ll hurt them. I’ll hurt whoever did this to her. I’ll hurt them all.

I scowl at her, hit over the head with disbelief.
Who the fuck made her believe that?

“And I want you to teach me how to be a good one.”

Fuck, we’re in so deep, there’s no reason but to go full steam ahead. Just don’t fuck it up. Don’t fuck it up, MacLaine.

I clench and unclench my hands from around Sera’s waist, trying to relax enough that I can do this for her. She squirms in my lap and waits for my answer. I let out a growl that probably has me sounding like a crazed animal. Who the fuck cares?

I have a goddess sitting in my lap and she’s asking me,
me
, to give her something good, something she’s never had a chance at.

Yeah, I’ll do what you want Sera. I’m going to be the man you can count on, I’m going to be the one who will be honoured when you’re mine.

“Baby, good kissing is about wanting to kiss me.”

Sera shivers on top of me. I nearly come in my jeans.

“Do you want me?”

“
Yes
,” she moans, pulling on my neck and moving me closer until we’re glued together from the hips up. Her hips jolt closer to me, and she almost –
fucking almost –
settles right on top of Junior, and stars explode behind my eyes.

She moves even closer, so that her upper arms are on my shoulders, and we’re staring at each other, eye-to-eye. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Good, baby. Now come a little closer—uck.” I groan when she settles on top of me, and growl, “And give me your mouth.”

Her mouth trembles under mine, so I go slow, I go easy.

Sera’s body shakes under my hands, trembling – because of me?

Everything’s riding on this, but fuck, we’re mouth-to-mouth and it’s exactly where I want to be.

I pull back, and make eye contact.

“Do you want me?” I ask, breath tearing out of me. I jump and fidget underneath her, ’cause I need her closer, I need us to do this longer, better, fuck, forever.

She nods, pinching her eyebrows together again, and I’m floored all over again how cute she is.

“Then show me. Kiss me like I’m the only one you’ll ever want.”

Smooth, asshole. That was smooth.

She’s nervous, completely nervous. I’m going to kill the person who did this to her. A slow, long death, with a hell of a lot of torture.

“That’s all I have to do?” she asks, her voice shaking.

I hold her hips a little tighter, and keep my movements slow. I want her to be okay with this; I need her to be okay with this.

“You promise you won’t be an asshole if I suck at this?”

Anger lights up my chest cavity, burning through me. But she needs something else, not that.

“Baby, you’re not going to suck,” I say, my fingers digging into the flesh at her hips.
Shit, don’t leave bruises. Be careful!

“You better remember that after what comes next.” She closes the distance between us and makes me smile. She’s being bossy and I love it.

“You’re really cute when you’re nervous.”

“I don’t wanna be cute. I want to be sexy.” Sera practically pouts. I need to taste that bottom lip and spend some quality time with it once we’re kissing.

“Cute is sexy.” I move my hands to her back, and stroke the ends of her tied up hair, trying to calm her down. She shivers in my lap and I have to keep a tight rein on whatever self-control I have left to keep the peace.

It’s just me. It’s just me here.

“If you say so.” She looks doubtful, and taking a deep breath through her nose, says, “Okay, okay. Ready? Here goes nothin’. Three...two...-”

I don’t let her finish. I kiss her, moving slowly, slowly, slowly until the need to taste her overcomes common fucking sense.

I want you baby. Kiss me like you want me back.

Fuck, her mouth starts moving, and soon we’re kissing, the best kiss I’ve ever had. Christ, she wants me.

I feel her palm at the back of my head, moving us closer, and air doesn’t seem all important right now. She moans into my mouth and I haven’t even done anything to her yet, but she’s so sweet, and so damn perfect, and the way she presses herself against me makes me want to howl to the moon.

I swipe my tongue along the seam of her lips, and when she opens – Christ – her taste, the smell of her, the way she’s moving on top of me, the way we’re breathing together, shit, it makes me believe in -

She tangles her tongue with mine, giving what she’s getting and I’m about to explode.

She pulls away abruptly pulling in air like it’s her last. My head’s on fire, every inch of skin is burning. I can’t get a good breath.

My mouth does the talking for me.

“It was that fucker Tommy, wasn’t it?”

She shakes her head, slowly. “I’m not following.”

She’s pulled away from me, still on my legs, but there’s no way in hell I’m taking my hands off of her. Not when I’ve finally been given the chance.

“That fuckwit, Tommy. Your friend with the mouth. He said you were bad?”

Shock makes her mouth pop open. “You think...? You think...Tommy and I? No. It wasn’t him.”

“Which one of your boys did it? Who
lied
to you?”

Dead. They’re all dead.

“Not...not them. I swear. We’re just friends. We’ve never... that’s never happened. Ever.”

Who did it to you then, baby? Tell me who?

“So... the verdict?” She looks like she’s holding her breath.

What? Oh. Her game. Right.

I run my hands along her skin, pulling her closer to me. I watch her, the way her face is scared, her lips are white against her face and she looks like she’s swallowed some of my bad cooking.

“It’s fine. Let me get up, Hunt. Just... let me get up, would ya?”

“Sera, stop. Stop for a second.” Idiot, of course she’d jump to conclusions. The one time your mouth doesn’t get involved and now you’re in deep shit.

She looks at me, completely broken by what’s been implied.

“By the power of Grayskull, let me go! Please, just let me go. I want you to leave.”

Ah, Christ, she’s crying. She’s crying because of me.

Never again.

“And here goes thinking you were perfect.”

At least she’s stopped moving. “Are you
high?
What the fuck are you smoking?”

I cradle her face in my hands, like I did the other night, and her eyes are so green, her tears like drops of crystal falling to her cheeks. She’s been hurt, bad.

“I wasn’t complaining. Nor will I ever complain. You can use that mouth on me anytime you like.”

“How is that even possible?”

“That I want to kiss you again?” I grin. “I plan on doing a lot of it. For long periods of time. In different places along your body. I plan on making those sweet little noises come out of your mouth while I kiss you. I plan on touching you when I do it. Everywhere you’ll let me.”

“So I didn’t win the Guinness World Record for sucking at kissing?”

I think I love you, Sera. Really.

I laugh, shaking off my revelation. I tuck some hair behind her ear, and wipe the remaining tear tracks off her face.

“Frak no.”

Her face softens, and she gives me a sweet smile that has me smiling back.

“You said frak.”

“Matty’s started saying it, too.”

Sera’s changed a whole shit ton of things in so little time. Matty’s right – Sera’s magic, but what about us mere mortals?

“Yeah? I read it in a book once, and then I started watching the show,” she tells me.

“Yeah.” I’m smiling, and she leans in close and kisses me, too high for it to be my cheek.

“I better go. You’re going to watch another movie?” I ask, knowing that we’ve come far. I don’t want to push my self-control – especially when there’s so little left.

“I’ll probably re-read
Ender’s Game
, and I don’t know why ’cause I have like a million books on my TBR list.”

I don’t know what TBR means but it sounds important. I’m about to ask when she tells me to forget about it.

“I can’t believe I landed myself a nerd.” I tell her, hoping it’s not going to scare her off. “I’m liking it a lot.”

“Thank you,” she says quietly. I look at her and wonder what I’ve said that’s so important or make her palm her chest like that. She gets up and walks me to the door.

With her in front of me, I turn her to the door before she can let me out. Her back’s against it now, and she looks up at me with a confused and completely bewildered expression.

“What did I say? What put that look on your face, baby?” I lean in close so we touch everywhere possible.

“It’s nice to be liked, you know?”

I just stare like an idiot. I lean in closer to her, giving a stiff nod for no reason.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” Her eyes are so damn green, but she doesn’t say anything. “Yes or no?”

I know why. Sometimes you just can’t get the words out, you just can’t.

She wraps herself around me and we’re full on making out, me pushing her into the wall without realizing I’m probably causing some internal organ damage.

I’m having trouble catching my breath when we pull apart, but I’m grinning like an idiot who’s been hit over the head too many times. Leaning in again, ’cause I’m a sadistic bastard, a kiss her cheek and open her door without saying goodbye.

There doesn’t seem a reason to, not now.

I walk into my apartment, lock the door behind me, and chuck off all my clothes until I’m in nothing but my boxers and dive face-first on my bed. I’m going to take an hour nap, then I’ll go get the kid.

Try as I might, I can’t relax enough to fall asleep. I’m all twisted up inside, and I flop onto my back and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure shit out.

Someone or something really did a number on her. I want her to tell me, when she thinks I’m ready to hear it. I lean over and palm my phone from my discarded jeans pocket and type without thinking.

Me: What are you doing?
I’m all about being smooth.

Sera: Texting you, obviously.

Me: Snarky. I like it.

Sera: That’s good, I guess.

Me: Can I ask you something?

Sera: Sure.

Me: Who told you you were a bad kisser?

Sera: Uh, I’d rather not divulge the source.