Never Far Away (8 page)

 
Chapter Six

Ella

 
  Ella’s brain was still foggy throughout the night.  The pain seemed to be ebbing away with the help of the medicine.  When she woke up and was finally able to speak to Megan it was past eleven at night and she told Megan she could go home.  Megan put up a little bit of a fight, but eventually agreed to leave as long as she promised to call her back over if she started feeling poorly again.  Ella drank a glass of water and headed back to bed.

This time though, when she fell asleep, it wasn’t as restful.
  Her mind was full of images, all of them hazy.  Even in her sleep she could feel herself trying to make it through the fog and capture whatever was weighing down her mind.  Slowly, images became clearer, and the first thing she could see was Porter.  In her dream she opened up a door and Porter was on the other side.  He smiled at her and she felt the floor drop out from under her.  She wanted to run to him, bring his body in to hers, and use her hands to feel every contour of his body.  Finally, she noticed his white shirt with blue sleeves.  A baseball shirt.  God All Mighty. 

 
  Everything went swirling again and then she was in a new room, still with Porter, but this room had a fantastic view of the ocean and a magnificently gorgeous king-sized sleigh bed.  She admired the beautiful bed and Porter was behind her, kissing her neck.  She wanted him on that bed and she felt like she was going to get what she wanted when he pulled the zipper to her dress down her back.  She looked down at the dress as it pooled at her feet.  Was she really going to have a sex dream about Porter? 

 
  Before she could even get onboard with that idea the fog was back, but this time when it cleared she sat in front of a fire on the beach making smores with Porter.  His arms wrapped around her from behind helping her hold up a stick with a marshmallow on the end, both of them laughing when the white fluff turned into black char, melted off the stick entirely, and fell into the red hot flames.

 
  In the next instant she was lying on a four-poster bed, white chiffon curtains surrounded her.  When she looked up, all she could see was Porter and his gloriously naked chest holding himself over her.  She immediately realized that the rest of him was naked, and furthermore, so was she.  She glanced up at him, wondering how they got into this room and this ridiculously romantic bed when he gently flicked her nose with his, continued to trail his nose down her neck, and stopped to breathe shivers into her ear.

 
  “I love you, Baby,” he said as she felt him slowly push into her, filling her completely.  She no longer had time to question what was happening between them because she was quite literally in the middle of it and it was fantastic.  As he slowly and deliciously pumped into her she found herself using her hands to pull him even closer, trying to get as much of him into her as possible.  She breathed him in, licking his neck to get his taste in her mouth.  She heard him groan as her fingernails bit into his skin.  She drowned in him and as he filled her lungs, she could think of no better way to go.

 
  He reached between them, to the spot where they were connected, and slowly started circling her clit.  “I’ve been waiting for you, Baby,” he said as she arched her back, recklessly plummeting into a pool of pleasure so deep she would never be able to climb back out.  “I need you with me, Ella.  Come back to me.”  At his words, she experienced the most consuming and violent orgasm she’d ever had.  She came so hard she was pulled from sleep and slammed back into the reality of her own bed where she was very aware of the fact that she was all alone.

 
  The fogginess had followed her out of the dream and confusion had come along with it.  She breathed heavily, still trying to recover from the phantom orgasm, and her brain was working overtime.  She felt like all the pieces of her brain were mixed up in her head; she wanted to shake it to make the wayward pieces fall back together again.  It was that ultimately annoying moment in life when something is so very frustratingly on the tip of your tongue and you just can’t get your brain cells to connect with each other.

 
  She breathed faster and now panic was beginning to take over as well.  She felt as though something was coming and she had no idea what she should be preparing for.  Images and colors flashed through her mind.  She heard Porter’s voice and waves violently crashing onto the shore.  She reached a pinnacle of panic, holding her head between her hands, rocking back and forth on her bed, crying, when suddenly – peace washed over her.  All the pieces fell back into place.  A clarity she’d been lacking for eight long weeks finally settled in her mind, and she found herself gasping for air while smiling and laughing.  She had one thing on her mind: Porter.

   Ella had never been so happy to experience déjà vu in her life.  The last time she had been racing to the beach sobbing, they had been devastating tears.  This time, the tears she cried were happy tears mixed with excitement and nervousness.  Two hours felt like twenty minutes and she found herself at Porter’s house ringing his doorbell at four in the morning.  He wasn’t coming down fast enough so she started banging on the door with her open palm, laughing and crying at the same time.

 
  Finally she heard thumps coming from inside and she knew he was coming to the door.  When the door swung open, Porter first looked totally confused.  Then he switched gears and looked worried and panicked.

 
  “Ella?  What are you doing here?  Are you ok?”  His hands came to her shoulders and were running down her arms like he was looking for injuries.

 
  “I’m fine, Porter.  I’m fine,” she managed between laughing sobs.

 
  “Why are you crying?”  He asked, pulling her into his living room and closing the door behind them.

 
  “Porter,” she started and had to stop to cover her mouth when more tears and sobs came out.

 
  “Ella, please, tell me what’s going on,” he pleaded as he pulled her into his arms.  She let him hold her and buried her face in his chest, relishing in the familiarity.  She took in a few deeps breaths to calm herself.

 
  “Porter,” she started again.  “How do you think I made it to your house?”  She shook from the adrenaline pumping through her system.

 
  “You drove your car?” He answered like a question because he didn’t understand what she was getting at.  She took in one last big breath.

 
  “How did I know where you live?”  She pulled back to look him in the eyes.  When he grasped exactly what she was telling him, she saw his realization come across his face.

 
  “You remember?” he whispered, as he placed his hands on either side of her face.  As she nodded her head, with rivers of tears streaming down her face, he began to frantically grasp at her.  First her face, then her neck and her shoulders, trying to just feel her to make sure she was really there and really telling him what he was hearing.  “You remember me?  You remember us?”  His voice was high pitched and just as frantic as his hands.

 
  “Yes, Babe, I remember everything,” she said as she let him feel as much of her as he needed.  He crushed her to him using his hands to guide her legs around his waist so that he was carrying her.  He walked up the stairs and into his room.  They approached his bed and he sat on the floor with his back leaning up against it, her legs still wrapped around his waist.  He still breathed rapidly and she quietly let him come to terms with what she had revealed to him.  He finally pulled back from their hold and again gripped her face in his hands.

 
  “Ella, I need you to promise me that you are going to be completely honest with me for the next five minutes.  No matter how you think I will feel about what you say, I just need to know that you will be one hundred percent honest.”  She nodded at him.

 
  “Of course,” she said and saw a little bit of relief come over him, but not enough to ease his nerves.

 
  “You’ve been through a lot over the last few months, and I cannot even begin to imagine what you’re feeling or even thinking at this moment.  The last thing I want to do is put added pressure on you, or pile expectations on top of what you’ve remembered.  I will probably go to hell for asking you this now, when you’ve just remembered everything and haven’t had any time to process what’s happened to you.  But I can’t wake up another day and live in this state of flux anymore. And whatever you decide is fine, I’ll accept anything you have to say.  I just can’t go on like this.  Please, Ella, I need to know how you feel about us.  I need to know what you see happening between us.  I need to know if I should finally move on and let you go.” 

 
  He looked at her and his eyes pleaded with her.  Not asking her for any answer in particular, but the desperation in his voice made it clear to her that the last eight weeks had done the most damage to him, not her.  She now could see the dark circles under his eyes that weren’t there eight weeks ago.  She noticed the lines around his eyes she didn’t remember from before.  She put her hands over his that seemed to be holding on to her for dear life.

 
  “I love you, Porter.  I finally found my way back to you and I’m never going to let you go.”  As her words sunk into him, she watched recognition came over his face of what she had said.  And then he broke her heart into fragments as he began to cry.

 
  He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her in close, and his face found the crook of her neck.  Then he began to sob.  Gut wrenching and heaving sobs came from this strong, capable man.  Tears soaked the shirt she had on, but she dared not move more than to caress his back and stroke his hair as she gently told him that she loved him.  That everything was going to be ok now.  He keened and rocked back and forth and at some point she began to cry along with him.

 
  She wasn’t sure how much time had passed.  Minutes or hours, it didn’t matter.  She would have held him forever if it had made up for any of the hurt he had gone through when she didn’t remember.  When he had finally stopped the wracking sobs and his lungs stopped hitching every time he tried to take a breath, he silently held her, his face never leaving her neck as the sun rose and light flooded through the giant picture window of his bedroom.  She felt him take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his breath whispering over her neck.  He pulled his face back from her and looked at her face, his hands running over her hair.

 
  “I can’t believe you’re here and that you remember.  I had almost given up hope,” he said in a whisper.

 
  “I’m here, Baby, and I’m not going anywhere.”  She kept her eyes on his as she slowly leaned in towards him, asking him for permission to put her lips to his.  She stopped before their lips met, unsure if he was ready for the contact.  He answered her by closing the space between them.  The kiss swept through her, slow and sweet like honey.  Her hands, forever drawn to his arms, glided along the muscles of his shoulders.  His hand moved into her hair, gently tugging on her tresses, while the other hand had snaked around her waist, gripping at the curve of her hip.  “Please, Porter, tell me we can be together right now.  I need you to make love to me,” she wasn’t opposed to begging him; although she didn’t think it would be necessary.  She needed to connect with him, more now than ever.  He didn’t answer; he just lifted her with his ungodly strength and laid her gently down on the bed. 

 
His eyes never left hers as he peeled off the shorts she’d worn on their hike the day before.  For an instant she regretted not changing or showering before she left for his house, but thinking back on their perfectly sweet and emotional reunion, she wouldn’t have changed a thing.  She sat up quickly and removed her tank top. She grabbed the bottom of her sports bra and pulled it over her head,  She felt Porter’s gaze on her naked torso. 

 
  “I’ve imagined you here, in my bed, so many times since you went away.  It was torture even sleeping here, Ella.”

 
  “Come over here and make new memories with me, Porter.”  He pulled his shirt off before he came to rest over her body on his enormous bed.  The feeling of his chest resting upon her breasts was heavenly.  The small smattering of hair on his chest only added to the goose bumps that were taking over her body.

 
  Porter wasted no time paying close attention to the spot on her neck that drove him crazy.  He feasted on her, slowly lapping at her skin.  He moved his velvet mouth down her neck and left a trail of kisses down her throat and between her breasts.  He placed slow and wet kisses down her body, stopping when he came to the top of her underwear.  He peeled the top of them down her thighs, using his thumbs to rub all along the outside of her legs, causing her body to convulse with pleasure.  He had them off in seconds and she was left naked, completely at his disposal.  He made his way back up to her mouth, stopping only to bury his nose in the apex of her thighs, lovingly nuzzling her swollen sex.  She gasped at his brazenness and her arousal was catapulted into overdrive.  She grabbed at the waistband of his shorts and pushed them down to his feet, not taking the time he had to worship her body, but frantically trying to simply free him so that she could feel all of him on her.