Never Far Away (10 page)

 
  “You’re such a perv sometimes,” she laughed.  “Get dressed, Perv.”

   As they pulled up to Tilly’s bar, Ella’s phone started ringing.  She saw it was Megan calling and signaled to Porter to wait a minute before getting out of the car.  She answered the phone and put it on speaker.

 
  “Hey Megan.”

 
  “Ella, where are you?  Are you ok?”

 
  “Yes, I’m fine.  Why?”

 
“Well, no one has heard from you today and when I went to check on you, you weren’t home.  I called mom and she hadn’t heard from you either. We got worried.”

 
  “Megan, listen, something amazing happened last night.  My headache was killing me and it got worse for a little while.  I tried to sleep it off, but it woke me up, and when I finally realized what was happening, I remembered everything.”

 
  “You remember? Like,
everything
everything?”

 
  “Yes, well, I mean, I think so.  I remember Porter.  That’s where I am, with Porter, in Lincoln City.”

 
  “So you’re horizontal?!”

 
  “Shut up, Megs.  I am not horizontal… Anymore.”  She laughed and was blessed to hear her sister laugh as well.

 
  “So, how are you feeling?  Does your head still hurt?  Do you need anything?”

 
  “I feel fantastic, Megs.  I am so happy.”

 
  “I’m so happy for you, Fella, and happy for me too.  It was getting a little ridiculous trying to keep Porter from you.  I’m glad you guys can just be together now, like, for real.”  Ella looked over at Porter and gave him a smile that stopped his heart.

 
  “Me too, Sis.”  She leaned over and kissed Porter loudly on the mouth.

 
  “Oh, god, is he there with you right now?  Did I just hear you kiss him?  You two are probably going to go off the grid for weeks now, huh?  Making up for lost time?  Well, remember to tell Mom and Dad this time.  They deserve to know.”

 
  “I will call them tonight.”

 
  “Ok, well, I will let you get back to your man.  I love you, Sister.”

 
  “I love you too and thank you for always trying to do what you feel is best.  You’re an amazing sister and I’m lucky to have you.”

 
  “Ditto!”  Megan laughed as she hung up the phone.

 
  “So,” Porter started, “Your sister gave away your nickname that you so cruelly withheld from me.”

 
  “What do you mean?”

 
   “Fella?”  He raised his eyebrows at her.  She laughed and threw her head back, resting it against the back of her seat.

 
  “I guess she did. Well, now you know.  Does it change the way you look at me?” She asked sarcastically.

 
  “Sadly, not really.  Yours really isn’t that bad.”

 
  “Yeah, yours is way worse,” she leaned over and kissed him.  “Let’s go, Portly.”  She laughed and he rolled his eyes at her.  As they walked towards the bar, Porter linked his hands with Ella’s and lifted her hand to kiss the back of it.  It had been less than twenty-four hours since she’d shown up on his doorstep and he was still trying to get use to the idea of being able to just hold her hand – something he might have taken for granted eight weeks ago.  Just before they went inside, he pulled her into him and kissed her softly.

 
  “I love you, Ella,” he whispered to her, running a hand smoothly down her cheek.

 
  “I love you too,” she answered wistfully, placing her hand over his and moving to her mouth to place a small kiss on his palm.

 
  “Are you ready for this?  My mom is going to lose her mind when she sees you.”

 
  “I’m looking forward to it,” she smiled.  He pulled the door open for her and she led the way in.  It took roughly about four seconds until Porter heard his mother’s shrill and high pitched scream from behind the bar.

 
  “Ella!”  His mother said her name over and over again, running from behind the bar all the way to the front with her arms open wide, waiting for Ella to fill them.  When Tilly made it to them, Ella dropped Porter’s hand and let herself be enveloped in Tilly’s arms.  He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face or the warm feeling that spread through his chest at the sight of his mother hugging her.  Nothing compared to having the two most important women in his life together, with him, happy and healthy.

 
  “What does this mean?”  Tilly asked as she pulled away from Ella, but not letting go of her.  Her eyes were darting back and forth between him and Ella.

 
  “Last night my memory came back,” Ella said, wiping a tear off of her cheek, obviously affected by the overwhelming welcome Tilly had given her.  “I got in my car and immediately drove here to see Porter.  And today, this was the first place I wanted to come.  To see you.”

 
  Tilly pulled her back into her arms.

 
  “I am so happy you’re back, Ella.  We’ve missed you so much.”  When his mother finally let her go she moved over to Porter and wrapped her arms around him as well.  He bent down and took his mother’s small frame in his arms and felt a little more of the tension he’d been carrying around with him melt away.

 
  “She’s really here, Porter.  She came back to you.  Don’t let her go,” she whispered in his ear so quietly, even he had a hard time hearing her.  His mother pulled away from him and turned around quickly to wipe her eyes, trying to hide that she’d started to cry over Ella’s return.

 
  “Why don’t you both go grab a booth and I will be over in a minute to get you some dinner.”

 
  “Ok, Mom,” he said as he laid a small kiss on the top of her head.  He knew that seeing Ella would affect his mom, but he wasn’t prepared for her to be so emotional about it.  The fact that his mother cared so much about Ella only reaffirmed the feelings he’d had for her all along.

 
  They chose a booth towards the back of the restaurant.  He let her slide in first and then slid in next to her, enjoying the idea of having such open access to her.  He took his hand, placed it on her thigh, and gave a gentle squeeze.  Every touch and every look he gave her was not only exhilarating, but also relieving; she was still here.  He wasn’t dreaming.  She remembered.

 
  “How are you feeling?”  He looked over to her and asked.  She rubbed her hand over his which was still comfortably resting on her thigh.

 
  “I feel fine, Baby.  Great even.”

 
  “No headaches?”

 
  “None.  I feel wonderful,” she said as she leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips.

 
  “Well, I think we should call Dr. Andrews and make an appointment to see him.  I’m sure he’d have something to say about your memory coming back.”

 
  “I’ll call him tomorrow morning, promise.  But please, don’t worry about me.  I’m fine.”

 
  It wouldn’t do any good to tell her that he would likely spend a lot of time worrying about her.  At least for the foreseeable future, he couldn’t imagine his mind not being consumed by fears that she would forget, that she would disappear from his life again, and he would be left circling the proverbial drain.  If Ella had another setback, if she lost her memory, he would have no rights, just like last time.  The only way it was guaranteed that he would have access to her is if she were his wife.

 
  He looked over at her again and she flashed him her brilliant smile.  One day he would ask her to marry him and even though he knew he wanted her for the rest of his life, he didn’t want to propose out of necessity.  He knew, also, that Ella wouldn’t want that.  She was convinced that she would be fine and even though he wouldn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable until they spoke to a doctor about it, he was willing to try and not let his worries affect their time together.

 
  When his mother sat down across from them, the smile she beamed was blinding and wonderful.  He knew exactly how she felt.

 
  “So,” she began, “now what?”

 
  “What do you mean?” He asked.

 
  “Well, now that you’re back, Ella, how are you two going to proceed?  You know, with your relationship?”  Porter looked over at Ella and she returned his gaze.

 
  “Well, Mother, nothing really has changed for us.  We love each other and I am so happy that she’s back, but she still has her life in Portland and I’m here.  We’ll just have to make it work, like we had originally planned.”

 
  “I don’t like that plan anymore,” Ella said suddenly, turning to face him again.

 
  “What do you mean?”

 
  “I mean, I don’t understand why we have to be apart.  There has to be a way for us to be together.  You know, really together.  Unless…” she paused as her eyes went wide, “unless you don’t want that.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to steamroll you right now.  It all just came out.”  She brought her hands up to cover her face, shaking her head in embarrassment.

 
  To hear Ella say those words, for her to admit that she wanted to be close to him, it was everything he’d always wanted from her and never thought he’d get.  She had been so unsure of their relationship before, and now she seemed eager to be together on a more permanent level.

 
  “Babe, we don’t have to talk about this now.  Let’s just enjoy dinner.”

 
  “Why can’t you talk about it now?” Tilly interjected.

 
  “Mom, this is a private conversation I’d like to have with Ella alone.”

 
  “Well, if you’re thinking about sticking around here for me, don’t.  I’ll be fine without you.”

 
  “Well, ok, Mom.  Tell me how you really feel about it.”

 
  “Porter, you’ve been trying to make up for the lack of your father for twenty years now.  You’ve taken such good care of me, this bar, your company, but you’ve never taken care of yourself.  Don’t let your notions of obligation keep you from being truly happy.  I’m just saying.”

 
  “She has a point,” Ella said, shooting a sweet smile his way.

 
  “Listen, I’m not saying anything either way.  I just think this is a conversation best had privately.”

 
  “Ok, just so long as you know where I stand,” Tilly added.

 
  “Noted.  Now, let’s just have a peaceful meal.”

Ella

   The last thing she had wanted to do was put Porter on the spot in front of his mother or to pressure him in any way.  But the thought of being separated from him again made a knot form in her stomach and her head throb.  She linked her hand with his under the table, hoping to assure him that she hadn’t meant any harm.  He smiled at her and her concern melted into a hot puddle that settled between her thighs.  His smile was intoxicating.

 
  “Porter?”  A tallish brunette came to the side of the table Porter was sitting at and was shamelessly batting her eyelashes in his direction.

 
  “Amy, hi.”

 
  “Hi, sorry to interrupt your, uh, dinner,” she said as she gave Ella a disinterested glance.  “I was hoping you could help me get into my car.  I locked my keys inside again.”

 
  “Um, yeah, sure,” he said as he looked back at Ella with an expression that looked a little embarrassed but mostly apologetic.  “I’ll be right back, Babe.”  He scooted out of the booth and led the way to the door.  Ella could have sworn the brunette was checking out his backside as he walked towards the door.  ‘Let her look,’ she thought, ‘he’s never been anything but mine.’

 
  “Ella, I’m glad we have a few minutes alone.  How are you doing, really?”

 
  “I’m really good, Tilly.  As soon as my memory came back, I mean, it’s like everything is right again.  I was so confused for so long.  I knew something was missing and I knew it had something to do with Porter, but I couldn’t figure it out.”

 
  “He was absolutely lost without you.  He was destroyed.  Ella, he was wrecked.  The first few weeks that you were, uh, away, it was all he could do just to get out of bed each day.  He called your mother daily, sometimes he made it to work, but mostly he just fell apart.” 

 
  Ella could see the tears starting to form around Tilly’s eyes. 

 
  “A couple weeks ago, after you were out of the hospital and seemed to be doing better, he started to get out more and showing up for work regularly.  But the light in his eyes was gone.  He was empty.”

 
  “I don’t want to imagine what he was going through; I just wish he had come to me sooner.  I know I didn’t remember him right away, but I knew he loved me and I started to fall in love with him again.  He didn’t need to be so far away,” Ella said, hating to hear about his misery without her.

 
  “He was just trying to make everyone happy.  Everyone but himself.  He will forever be looking out for everyone but himself first.  His tragic flaw.”  Ella smiled at Tilly’s words.

 
  “It’s one of the things I love best about him; his ultimate selflessness.”

 
  “Yes, it is admirable, but can be detrimental, especially the last couple of months.”

 
  “Agreed.  Listen, Tilly, I know this has been quite possibly the weirdest start to a relationship in the history of dating, but I need you to know that there isn’t anything in the world that is going to keep me from being with him.  I know that before the accident I had my reservations about him and me, but there’s nothing like getting a second chance with Porter to make you realize that waiting to be together would only be wasting precious time.  I was given a gift when my memory came back and I don’t intend to take it for granted.”

 
  “That’s good to hear, Honey.  He deserves someone to love him.”  Ella reached across the table and grabbed Tilly’s hand.

 
  “Consider him loved.  More than I ever thought I could love anyone.  Truly.”

 
  “Thank you so much for helping me, Porter.  You were always so considerate and helpful,” Ella turned her head to see the brunette, Amy, stroking her hand down Porter’s arm, the arm that definitely belonged to her.

 
  “Baby,” Ella plastered a fake smile on her face, “aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

 
  Porter looked like a poor deer with headlights headed straight for him.

 
  “Uh, Amy, this is my girlfriend, Ella.”  Ella tilted her head and made sure her smile didn’t look like ‘nice to meet you’, but more like ‘get your hands off him now’.  Amy smiled and slid her hand all the way down his arm until it had nowhere else to go but back to her side.

 
  “It’s so nice to meet you,” she gave Ella an equally frosty smile.  “Porter really hasn’t dated much, I mean, besides me,” she laughed and gave him a longing look.

 
  Oh. Hell. No.  Ella started to scoot out of the booth when Tilly’s voice stopped her.

 
  “Amy, I’m so glad you’re here.  I have someone I want you to meet.  I know you’re always on the prowl for a new man.  I know just the right guy for you to sink your teeth into.”  Amy’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, not quick enough to find a way out of the trap Tilly had set for her.

 
  “Um, ok, thanks again, Porter.  I’ll call you,” she said over her shoulder as Tilly was pulling her across the bar towards what looked to be a mid-thirtyish man whose shirt was a size too small, and not in a good way.

 
  Porter slid back into the booth next to Ella and placed his arm around her shoulders.

 
  “Ella Sinclair, if I didn’t know any better, I would say that you were jealous just then.”  Ella tried not to pout.

 
  “She was touching your arm, Porter.  She’s lucky she still has all of her fingers attached.  How many ex-girlfriends of yours are roaming around this town?”

 
  “You know I didn’t really date and I wouldn’t even call Amy an ex-girlfriend.  We dated a few times.  Nothing serious.”

 
  “But you slept with her?”

 
  Porter coughed suddenly, needing a drink of the water in front of him.

 
  “Well, this is uncomfortable,” he mumbled when she kept staring at him waiting for an answer.

 
  “Let’s grow up, Porter.  We’re both adults here.  We’ve both had sex before we met each other.  Just tell me.  What’s your number?”

 
  “My number?”

 
  “Yeah, like, how many women have you been with?”

 
  “At one time? Or like, all together?”

 
  “Shut up, Porter.”  She sent him a withering look and he was laughing at his own joke.  “Seriously, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

 
  “I don’t want to know your number.  Honestly.  Let’s just assume we were both virgins when we met.”

 
  “That is ridiculous.  Besides, you had to have learned your moves from somewhere,” she said, trying not to blush.

 
  “You think I have moves?”  He leaned in closer, his lips nibbling on her earlobe.

 
  Ella groaned quietly.

 
  “Porter, when we first made love, you blew my mind.  I had no idea sex with someone could be so, well, intimate.”  He used his index finger to turn her chin so look at him.  He brushed some hair behind her ear and cupped the side of her face.

 
  “It’s only ever been that way with you.”  She sighed at his sweetness and leaned her forehead against his.

 
  “I missed your words, Porter.”

 
  “I think you took them with you.  I’ve got no use for them unless I’ve got you to say them to.”  She looked up at him again and leaned closer.  Her lips came to rest upon his, not seeking heat or looking for instant passion, just a connection.

 
  “I don’t want to be without you anymore,” she said against his lips.

 
  “You’ll never be without me,” he countered and took their kiss deeper, using his hand on the back of her neck to pull her in to him.  She let him kiss her and she gave as much as she got, but she pulled away eventually.

 
  “I want to have a serious conversation about this.  Tonight.”

 
  “Whatever you want, Babe.  Let’s just do it at home, without prying eyes or ears,” he nodded his head towards the bar where Tilly was serving drinks and spying on them simultaneously.

 
  “Deal,” she said and kissed him quickly one more time.