Never Far Away (5 page)

 
  “What about my memory of you?  This isn’t fair to
you
.”  Porter’s other hand came up to frame Ella’s face and he pulled her closer, their faces only inches apart.

 
  “Don’t worry about me, Ella.  I can make you love me again; I’m not worried about that.  Do I wish that I could hold you right now?  Do I wish I could kiss you? Yes, damn it, I do.  But there’s time for that.  Right now I just want you to get to know me and trust that no matter what, I will always be here for you.”  He looked into her eyes, hoping that she was not only hearing what he was saying, but feeling it as well.  Her hands came up to rest on his chest, pulling gently on his shirt.

 
  “You can kiss me if you want to,” she breathed.  Porter’s heart raced in his chest and he dreaded the words he knew he had to say to her.

 
  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Ella.  As wonderful as it would feel to put your lips on mine, taking them away might kill me.  The next time I kiss you, I want to be able to do it for hours.  To make up for the weeks of kisses I’ve missed.  I just don’t think we’re there yet.”

 
  Ella dropped her forehead to lean against his chest, rested on him for a few seconds, and then stepped away from him, and turned back towards the market.

 
  “Please don’t be angry with me,” he said to her back.

 
  “I’m not angry, Porter.  I’m disappointed and irritated.  I’m tired of everyone making decisions for me.  I’m tired of being treated like I’m sick and need protecting.  Tell me, how long did you wait to kiss me the first time we met?  Were you playing the chivalrous gentleman then, Porter?  Because the last time I checked, you said we fell in love in a week.  Was there no kissing?  Did we sit on opposite sides of the couch?  I’m not a baby and I don’t appreciate being treated like one.”  She finished and he couldn’t help but smile at her, reminded of her firecracker tendencies.  “What the hell is so funny, Porter?”

 
  “Nothing.  I was just remembering that you, actually, kissed me first.” 

 
  She tried to hide the shock on her face, but recovered quickly.

 
  “Well, don’t hold your breath for that to happen again.” 

 
  Porter took a few pointed steps towards her, never removing his eyes from hers.

 
  “Don’t worry, you’ll get your kiss,” he said playfully.  “In all honesty Ella, I just don’t want to mess this up.  I’ve already lost you once.  I really couldn’t live through losing you again.”  He watched a smile try to play on her lips, but she fought it.

 
  “I’m not broken, Porter.  Please don’t treat me any differently than you would any other woman you’d take on a date.”

 
  “You think this is a date?” He asked with a smile and he was thankful when she smiled back.

 
  “Well, we had a meal, and you bought me a gift.  That’s pretty datey.”  He reached down and linked his hand with hers.  They started walking back the way they had come from.

 
  “Ok then.  It’s a date.  And for the record, we have had this conversation before.”

 
  “When?”

 
  “The second day we knew each other.  We went out for a drink and you told me that you wanted to go on a real date with me.”

 
  “It sounds like I was pretty aggressive.  I don’t usually kiss the guy first or ask them out.  You must have really intrigued me,” she shot him her brilliant smile.

 
  “I think we were both drawn to each other equally,” he said carefully, trying really hard not to allude to the fact that he remembered them being irrevocably tied to each other, both emotionally and physically.

 
  “That’s probably the most unflattering thing I’ve ever heard someone say about me,” she laughed.  “Really?  ‘Equally drawn to each other’?  Let’s hear it, Porter.  Tell me the dark and dirty details about our weeklong tryst.”  He stopped walking and pulled on her hand so that she fell into his body.  He leaned down and placed his mouth on the shell of her ear.

 
  “First of all, it wasn’t a tryst.  Every moment we spent together was us building something we wanted to last a lifetime.  Secondly, there was plenty of mutual gratification.  We couldn’t get enough of each other and when our week together was over, it killed us both to let each other go.  For the record, I know your body better than I’ve ever known anyone’s and you were pretty fucking familiar with mine.  So, don’t think for a minute that I don’t want you because every moment that I’m not touching you is torture.”  He pulled away from her and saw a shocked look on her face.  She cleared her throat and he saw the blush creep over her face.

 
  “You’ve got some mouth on you, Porter.”

 
  “We’ve had that conversation, too.”

 
  “Oh shut up,” she said with a smile as he led her back to the market.

   Once she had gotten her fill of the market, Porter walked Ella to her car, dreading the fact that he was going to be apart from her. He gave her hand a small squeeze and tried to focus on the fact that since he’d first laced his fingers with hers, neither one of them had broken their connection.  Just holding her hand would have to be enough to tide him over for a while.

 
  “So, now that our first, but not really first, date is out of the way, am I going to be able to see you again?”  Ella asked as they approached her car.  She sounded shy and he felt a smile pull at his lips.  They stopped and faced each other on the sidewalk.

 
  “Of course.  Do you still have the same phone number?”

 
  “I do.”

 
  Porter pulled out his cell phone and sent a text to her number he saved in his phone.  The same number he’d looked at countless times willing himself to be strong and not contact her.  His smile grew thinking about the fact that they were here, together, exchanging phone numbers again.

 
  “There. Now you’ve got my number, don’t be afraid to use it.”

 
  “I won’t be,” she said.  He was a little surprised when she leaned towards him and lifted up to put her arms around his neck.  He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and let his face rest in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent again.  When he felt her pull away, he tried not to groan out loud; he wanted to hold her forever.  “Thank you for the beautiful ring, Porter.  I love it.”

 
  “I’m glad.  I had a really good afternoon with you, Ella.  I hope I didn’t scare you away with everything I told you.  I’ve never really been very good at filtering my mouth.  I usually just say whatever I’m thinking.”

 
  “Honesty is exactly what I need right now so, no, you didn’t scare me away.”

 
  “Good, well, I’ll let you get back to the rest of your day.”  He took a step back from her and before he turned away he gave her wink.  He was rewarded with her radiant smile and a laugh.  She shook her head and got into her car.  He idly wondered if there were still jumper cables in her trunk with a big red bow on them, and how they would have been explained to the woman who wouldn’t remember receiving them.  He shook his head at the thought, because it simply didn’t matter.

Ella

   Ella decided to stop by Poppy after she left Porter and his devastatingly handsome face.  He had held her hand most of the afternoon, and it made her feel young and giddy.  His hands were large and rough from his work, she imagined.  The feeling of his callouses scratching along her hand made her skin prickle more than once.  Had his hands been all over her body?  He had painted a really hot picture of the two of them being together.  What would it be like to let his hands roam wherever they wanted?  She shook her head and smiled because she knew what it would be like: amazing.

 
  She was fairly certain that even if they didn’t have this unusual history, she would still be terribly drawn to him and she would probably make a fool of herself falling for him.  She caught a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror and saw the smile plastered all over her face.  She liked the way she looked when she was happy.  She hadn’t seen a smile on her face a whole lot lately.

 
  As she strolled into Poppy, she noticed that Megan was behind the counter and she was talking to Kalli.  As she approached she noticed Megan’s eyes glance up at her, and then she did a double take and her mouth fell open.  She closed it quickly with a loud snap.

 
  “Oh, shit,” Megan said.

 
  “What?”  Kalli asked, looking between the two of them.

 
  “Yeah, what?”  Ella was confused.

 
  “You were with him, weren’t you?”  Megan said accusatorily.

 
  “What?”  Ella was confused by her tone and her question.  “Who?” 

 
  Megan came around the counter and came towards Ella until she was standing right in front of her.

 
  “You know who, Ella.”

 
  Ella looked between her sister and her friend and decided it was dumb to be hiding Porter from them.  She was an adult and she had every right to see whomever she wanted.

 
  “Are you talking about Porter?” Ella asked icily.  Megan’s eyes shot up at the use of his name.

 
  “Damnit.  He promised me he wouldn’t tell you who he was.”

 
  “I knew who he was.”  Shock moved across Megan’s face like lightening.

 
  “What do you mean you knew who he was?  You remember him?”

 
  “Yes, I remember him from the hospital, after I woke up.  He was there for just a minute, but I remember him.  But nothing from before the accident.”

 
  “What did he tell you?”

 
  “Everything.  But you can’t be mad at him.  He’s just doing what he feels is right.  Just like you.  I’m tired of everyone tiptoeing around me.  I can handle it, Megan.  Trust me.  Porter will be good for me.”  Megan’s eyes lingered on Ella’s for a few seconds as she seemed to mull over what she had said.

 
  “Listen, as your sister I just want to say this: Porter is very hot.  And I am sure he is equally charming and sweet.  But just because he shows up here and tells you that you used to be in love with him, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to him.”

 
  “Obligated?  Megan,” Ella let out an exasperated sigh.  “Where is this coming from?  Why are you so against him?  I have said hardly anything about him and you’re already rooting against him?  Why?”

 
  “You’ve been through so much, Ella.  We’re all worried about you.  I just don’t want something bad to happen to you again.”

 
  “So I’m not allowed to date?”

 
  “Ella, the last time you dated Porter, it was like warp-speed dating.  You guys went from zero to fucking in like, a matter of hours.”  Ella’s eyebrows shot up.

 
  “That doesn’t sound too terrible,” Kalli said, smiling at Ella.

 
  “Wait, really?”  Ella was intrigued.

 
  “Yes, really.  I mean, it was really like two days, but come on.  You had never acted so irrationally before.”

 
  “But was I happy?  He tells me I was happy.”

 
  “Deliriously so,” Megan exhaled loudly.

 
  “How much did I tell you about him?”

 
  “Enough to know that he rocked your world, in and out of the bedroom.  And I know that he really fought for you when you weren’t sure you should continue to see him.”

 
  “Why didn’t I want to see him?”

 
  “It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him, you just were afraid that the distance would be an issue.”

 
  “It seems that my brain is actually the issue now,” Ella said dejectedly.

 
  “Honey, don’t worry about your memory.  It’s out of your hands, and stressing about it won’t help any,” Kalli said as she rubbed circles on Ella’s back affectionately.

 
  “Porter would never let anything stand in his way, now that he’s made himself known.  I’m surprised you’re upright right now.”

 
  Ella laughed at her outrageous sister.

 
  “Meaning?”

 
  “That you should be horizontal and totally satisfied.”

 
  “I am not going to pretend to disagree with you.  I told him that he could kiss me and he told me that he wouldn’t kiss me until we were ready.  It all seems a little backwards.”

 
  “Do you want him to kiss you?” Kalli asked.

 
  “That seems like a ridiculously rhetorical question.  Of course I want him to kiss me.  Once you see him, Kalli, you’ll understand.”

 
  “Just checking.  I wasn’t sure if you were still having all the same tingly feelings for him this time around that you did last time,” Megan said, shrugging her shoulders.

 
  “There are definite tingles.”

 
  “Well,” Megan said, sounding resigned.  “What’s next in the Ella and Porter saga?” 

 
  “We are not a saga,” Ella said as she rolled her eyes at her sister.

 
  “Oh, yes.  You are.”

 
  “Well, we exchanged phone numbers and we are going to talk.  We’ll see how things go, what happens next.”

 
  “I foresee lots of time on your back, Ella.”

 
  “Shut up, Megan,” Ella said smiling.  “You’re just jealous.”

 
  “Oh no, Porter’s got nothing on my Patrick.”

 
  “I’m feeling terribly left out here, guys.” Kalli said with a frown.

 
  “Listen,” Megan said as she pointed a finger at Kalli.  “I refuse to feel one iota of sorry for you since you work, every day, with that hot actor.  You get to take his shirts off and measure him, and generally just be near him.  So zip it.”  Kalli cocked her head to the side and thought about what Megan said.  A grin slid across her face slowly.

 
  “You know what?  You’re right.  My job is awesome.  I know his inseam.”

 
  “You are both ridiculous.  I’m going home,” Ella said with a smile.

   That evening Ella heard her phone ping and saw a text message from Porter.

**I hope you had a good rest of your evening.  And I hope I’m not being too forward texting you so soon after our second first date.**

   Ella grinned at her phone and sent him a message back.

**Not too forward at all.
  I was hoping to hear from you.  Glad I don’t have to wait the obligatory three days like girls usually have to.  What are you up to?**

**Nothing really, working on my boat, drinking a beer.  You know, man stuff.**

**Are you literally working “on” a boat, or like, fixing a boat?**

**Building a boat.  You’re damn cute.**

**Well, how the heck am I supposed to know?  But you’re pretty cute yourself.**

**Glad that bump to your head didn’t mess up your taste in men.**

**Ha. Ha.**

**So, when can I see you again?**

**Do you want the reserved girl answer?  Or the real answer?**

**How about you give me both and I will see which one I like better?**

**Reserved girl:  I am not sure, I’m pretty busy with work these days.  Maybe call me next week sometime and I’ll see what works.**

**Bullshit.  Next.**

   Ella took a deep breath in and exhaled loudly.  Mustering all the courage she could, she typed out her real answer.

**Real Answer: As soon as possible because I cannot stop thinking about you or your lips that you refused to use on me.**

**Shit, Ella.  I’m two hours away and you send me that?  That’s cruel.  And so hot.**

**You did this to yourself.**

**I’ll take that.  Can I see you next Saturday?  Maybe we could go hiking? That could be fun.**

**I won’t tell you that I just groaned because that’s six whole days from now.  I will just say “Sure! Sounds great!”**

**Sorry, but I really do have to work ;)**

**Me too.  Well, I will tell you in my reserved voice that I will see you next weekend, but my real voice says don’t be a stranger.  I’m available for texting all week!**

**You’re going to get tired of hearing from me.**

**I’m pretty sure that’s not possible.  Talk to you later, Porter.**

**Sweet dreams, Ella.**