No Matter What (111 page)

Walking back into the bedroom she looked at him as he sat up in the bed, his tanned body quite obviously naked underneath the white sheet.
 
He was beautiful.
 
Just beautiful.
 
Did she really deserve him?

He smiled, and she felt her heart skip that beat again, her head suddenly throwing out any final seeds of doubt as she dropped the towel that was covering her naked body, watching his face as he looked her up and down.

“Jesus,
India
... you ... you’re incredible ...”

He threw back the sheet that covered him and it was her turn to stare.
 
He was perfect in almost every way and she felt dizzy and excited and nervous all at once as she lay down next to him, their skin touching.
 
His body was warm and hard against hers, his fingers stroking her back as they just looked at each other.
 
It was after three in the morning and she was lying in bed with a man almost six years her junior, a man who she could quite easily develop feelings for, and it was something she’d never thought would happen after Michael.
 
Oh, she’d been sleeping with Kenny, of course she had, but Kenny was different.
 
Kenny was almost like a therapy she always needed whenever somebody hurt her.
 
He got her through the bad times and he’d helped her get through the past three years, but now - now she’d found JJ.
 
She’d found a way forward and it felt like a dream come true.

He pushed her onto her back and she stretched her arms up above her head, closing her eyes as she felt his fingers stroke her naked skin.
 
He ran them slowly down her arms, his lips planting tiny kisses as they followed his touch, moving down to her neck, lingering there for a few seconds, those light, gentle kisses making her gasp out loud as his fingers ran over her breasts and down to her hips.
 
Every touch was electric, every kiss brought her out in goosebumps, but she wanted to touch him too.
 
She wanted to look at him, get to know every inch of him.
 
So she turned onto her side, making him do the same so they faced each other and, pulling the sheet down past his thighs, she let her fingers trail slowly over his hips as her eyes followed them.
 
He was extraordinarily perfect to her.
 
His skin was soft and smooth, his muscles hard and taut beneath her fingers and just touching him was making her feel dizzy.
 
She left her hand on his thigh as she looked into his eyes.
 
It was so late, and she was so tired but she didn’t want to be anywhere other than here.
 
With him.

Closing her eyes she kissed his mouth again and suddenly she was consumed by an overwhelming urge to laugh, burying her face in his shoulder.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, laughing himself, and she looked up at him, stroking his face.

“You ... this ... you have no idea how much I needed this, and I never really knew it.”
 
She looked deeper into his eyes, kissing his open mouth quickly.
 
“It’s
4am
, and I’m so tired I have no idea how I’m going to get through the day, but all I want is to be here.
 
With you.
 
I don’t want to sleep.
 
Not yet.”

He smiled, running his fingers along the dip of her waist and over her hip.

“I’m not really in any hurry to sleep myself,” he whispered, his dark eyes locking onto hers.

Just thinking about what was going to happen next was giving her butterflies as she moved her hand down, and touched him.
 
He was hard and ready and she wrapped her fingers around him as her stomach did a million more tiny somersaults.
 
He was making her feel like a teenage virgin not a thirty-eight year old mum.
 
Feelings of excitement, fear and nerves were all colliding with each other, her heart beating fast and loud.
 
The anticipation was killing her.
 
She needed to have him now.

Turning onto her back, she closed her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip as he touched her.
 
His lips kissed her neck, his fingers explored her body, bringing her to the brink and then pulling her back again and how he was managing to hold out himself she had no idea because this was driving her crazy.
 
To take her so close and make her feel what she was feeling was something she’d never experienced before, and she’d had some great sex.
 
But not like this, nothing like this.

She was so close to begging him to just do it, begging him to just finish the job but she held out, gripping the pillow tighter and tighter until he finally pushed inside her and she cried out in a mixture of relief and overwhelming pleasure.
 
She felt as though he was taking over every inch of her, his body filling hers with a warmth that flooded right through her.
 
He was making her skin tingle and her breath catch in her throat, it was like nothing she’d ever felt before and she wanted to feel it forever.
 
All those clichés of being taken to heaven, they were true because that’s where JJ was taking her now.
 
And she never wanted to come home.

He pushed deeper and deeper until the inevitable crashing climax hit her like a fast-moving train, his fingers sliding between hers, every inch of his young, hard body lying against her tingling skin, and she didn’t want to open her eyes.
 
She didn’t want this to end.
 
But, as she lay in his arms, her head on his chest, still not wanting to sleep, still wanting to just lie there with him and hold him, she knew this was only the beginning.
 
This was her whole new beginning.

CHAPTER 54

She hadn’t slept, she hadn’t been able to.
 
She’d tried, she’d spent the past hour or so trying but every time she’d closed her eyes she’d just wanted to open them again and look at him as he’d slept beside her, his head turned to one side.
 
He was so beautiful; all she wanted to do was look at him.
 
They both had to be on the ‘Covert One’ set in just over two hours and she knew she should really try and get at least some rest but she couldn’t.
 
It just wasn’t happening.

She kissed him gently and slipped out of bed, pulling on her clothes, quickly writing him a scribbled note and leaving it on the pillow next to him.
 
It was pointless waking him, but she was on too much of a high to settle down.
 
She needed to tell someone, she needed to talk; she needed to let somebody know how she was feeling right now because she was like a kid at Christmas and she couldn’t keep the excitement to herself.

She let herself quietly out of JJ’s house, took her ‘phone out of her bag and called Bobby.

“Where the hell
are
you?” Bobby asked, picking up after just two rings.
 
“I’ve been worried sick!”

India
couldn’t help giggling.

“Well?
 
Where
are
you, missy?”

“Bobby, I’m sorry, but you sound so funny.
 
I’m thirty-eight years old.
 
I can stay out all night if I want to.”

“You could try calling to let me know first.
 
And what time do you call this, anyway?”

“I call it 6.30 in the morning, what do
you
call it?”

“Are you drunk?”

She laughed again.
 
“No.
 
But I am
so
happy, Bobby!
 
Come and meet me at our favourite coffee shop, I’ve got something to tell you.”

He sensed gossip was on the way and his tone changed immediately. “I’m on my way, angel.”

She drove to the coffee shop, singing along to a Nickelback CD, tapping her fingers on the wheel, her sunglasses on to shield her eyes from the early morning Californian sun.
 
She felt like a new day really was beginning and she’d never felt so excited, not for a long time.
 
Not since Michael.
 
But thinking about him didn’t hurt anymore, not as much as it used to, anyway, and it didn’t make her feel sad or angry or resentful.
 
Those feelings had gone, they’d been put aside.
 
She was finally free.

As she pulled up outside the coffee shop, which, even at that early hour of the morning, was fairly busy, she still felt like she was walking on air and she practically ran inside, greeting the staff with the biggest of smiles.
 
She was a regular there, the staff knew her well, and they knew what she liked, so she ordered her usual tea and blueberry Danish, which she was far too excited to eat, while she waited for Bobby to arrive, and she could hardly contain it any longer as he finally slid into the booth opposite her.
 

“Ok, princess.
 
Details, come on.
 
Who is he?”

“What makes you think I’ve been with a man?”

“You forget how transparent you are sometimes, angel.
 
You’ve got that look about you that’s screaming you’ve just had great sex ... and by the looks of it “
just
” had it is about right.”
 
He leaned forward and brushed her fringe away from her eyes.
 
“Have you slept at all?”

She shook her head, not able to keep the smile off her face.

“You’ve been up all night?”

She nodded, her stomach flipping over and over as she thought about JJ, remembering the way his body had felt inside hers, his kisses so soft on her mouth, his fingers on her skin.
 
She could still feel it all.

“Yeah ... once filming finished we were up all night.
 
I’ve not slept for one second, Bobby.
 
Not one second.
 
I couldn’t.”

“Make-up’s gonna be fun this morning then, isn’t it?”
 
His expression suddenly changed into one of realisation as he remembered exactly who she’d been filming with last night.
 
“No!”
 
His eyes widened.
 
“Have you been with ...?”

She rested her chin in her hand and smiled, nodding again.
 
“I’ve been with Joe.
 
I’ve been with the most incredible man, Bobby.”

Bobby just looked at her, speechless for a few seconds.
 
“Did you ... have you ... what am I saying?
 
Of course you have.
 
Talk about jealous!
 
I am
so
jealous, angel!”
 

Her stomach flipped over again and all she wanted to do was relive the last few hours.
 
She was in a daydream she didn’t want to wake up from.

Bobby stared at her again.
 
“What has he done to you?
 
I’ve never seen you like this!
 
How many times?”

“Just the once.”

“Once?
 
And he’s got you in this state?”
 
Bobby took a long sip of coffee, watching her intently.

“What?
 
You’re not getting details, Bobby.”

“Spoilsport.”

She leaned forward and smiled at him.
 
“Anyway, enough of that ...”

“Well, you might think so but I’m quite happy to hang around for the full story.”
 
He looked at her.
 
“Are you going to see him again?”

She looked at her watch.
 
“In about an hour and a half, actually.”
 
That thought alone made the butterflies return in full force.

“You know what I mean, missy.”

She played with her napkin, absent-mindedly pulling pieces off it.

“He’s walked into my life and changed the way I’m seeing things.”
 
She looked up at Bobby.
 
“I’m no longer thinking about Michael every hour of every day, I’m no longer wasting hours and days going over things in my head and ... I think I need him, you know?”
 
She shrugged, sitting back in her chair.
 
“Who knows what’s going to happen.
 
I just know that last night ... last night was amazing.
 
Oh, I don’t know, he’s younger than me for starters.”

“You’re hardly Mrs Robinson, princess.
 
Six years is nothing.”

She looked up at him again.
 
“Don’t say anything to anybody, Bobby.
 
Please. Nobody, not even Miguel.
 
I don’t want anything to get in the way of this.
 
I don’t want anyone else to know.
 
Not yet.
 
I had to tell
you
, I’d have gone crazy if I hadn’t told you, but that’s it.
 
Nothing is going to spoil this.”

He reached out and squeezed her hand.
 
“You know me, angel.
 
Discretion is my middle name.”
 
He smiled at her, thinking how beautiful she looked for someone who’d had no sleep.
 
“If he makes you this happy then he must be one incredible guy.”