Once Upon a Spy (Humorous Cozy Mystery) (16 page)

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Izzy. “I’m meeting Frank for our mystery date.” She clasped her hands nervously, her eyes wide with anticipation. “I wonder where he’ll take me!”

“Somewhere nice, I’m sure. Frank’s a great guy.”

Izzy flashed her long lashes. “He is, isn’t he? Even though he’s not gray, I think he’s sexy as hell. Oh, V! We finally found ourselves a couple of great guys!”

They had, hadn’t they? Amid all the trouble the operation was having, at least one thing was going great. Their love lives had never looked so promising. If only Brian Wright would lay low until tomorrow, they just might get lucky tonight.

Matt stared down at the screen. Jackie, one of his best and brightest analysts, had been trying to track Brian’s movements over the past couple of weeks in an effort to pinpoint the breadth of his betrayal. To Jackie’s surprise, nothing came up.

“Nothing? But that’s not possible!”

“Absolutely nothing, sir. It’s almost as if Brian Wright doesn’t exist.”

“But there has to be something. He doesn’t show up on CCTV? What about his credit card statements? Bank activity? Cell phone use? Anything?”

The red-haired analyst shook his head. “Nothing. Brian Wright has completely been wiped from the face of the earth, and so have all his antecedents. I can’t even find his birth certificate. He’s vanished!”

Matt pointed at the screen. “Nobody vanishes, and definitely not a government agent. Keep looking, son. There’s got to be something he overlooked.”

He stretched and groaned. They’d been looking for clues for hours, and so far had come up with nothing. The most powerful surveillance system ever built, and they couldn’t even keep track of one of their own. Talk about the ultimate humiliation. Across the room, Aaron stood conferring with one of his men, and he ambled over. One look at the other man’s face told him all he needed to know. “No luck so far, huh?”

Aaron seemed annoyed. He was a career man, and if this thing didn’t pan out, both their careers would go down in flames. “We have our own version of the ASS software, as a way to pinpoint targets for the drones program, but so far we haven’t been able to come up with anything. This man of yours is good, Matt. Extremely good.”

“He must have had help. I’ve known Brian for years, and he never struck me as a genius. A great agent, sure, but to pull off something like this?” He shook his head. “Not happening.”

“Look, I didn’t know Brian very well, but from where I’m standing? The man just pulled the biggest disappearance act I’ve ever seen. So either you didn’t know him very well, or he was a master of deception.”

Matt grimaced. “Brian? A master of deception? No way. You’re giving him too much credit, Aaron.” He gestured at Jackie and the other analysts busting their gut to draw a bead on their former colleague. “Trust me. We’ll find him. And when we do? He’ll fry on the chair for the crimes he committed.”

Aaron grinned. “You’re taking this kinda personal, don’t you think?”

“I do. Now you better figure out how this asshole managed to hijack your drone and fire two missiles without anyone on your payroll noticing. Your ass is on the line just as much as mine.”

Aaron, sobered, gave him a curt nod. “And don’t I know it.”

***

Yvonne and Izzy walked around Brian Wright’s house like two somnambulists. They didn’t have a clue where to begin searching for clues to the man’s deception. Experts had already turned the place inside out, and the computer guys had hauled his personal laptop to the office for analysis. There simply wasn’t anything left to discover. Still, Matt had ordered them to check the place out, so check it out, they did.

“I think it’s a nice house,” was Izzy’s final assessment. They’d been checking the master bedroom, a spacious room containing a double bed, even though Brian was a confirmed bachelor. “What do you think will happen to it?”

“Probably be sold.”

Something else that didn’t gel. Brian had owned the property outright. No mortgage. Paid in full three years before, according to the previous owner. It was a feat hardly feasible on a government salary. It had led Matt to conclude Brian’s betrayal had started at that time. He still figured Brian was working for a foreign power, and had probably been spirited out of the country already.

“I wouldn’t mind owning a house like this some day. Frank still lives with his mother, you know.” She fluffed one of the throw pillows on the couch. “I could see us living here.”

“Keep dreaming, hon. Even if you both keep working, you’ll never be able to afford a place like this.”

“How much do you think this would go for?”

“Half a mil, easy. Nice neighborhood like this?”

Izzy’s face fell, and she let herself drop down on the couch. It had been placed in front of the window and offered a nice view of the backyards of neighboring properties. “Too bad. It’s a great neighborhood for kids. Not much traffic—I bet kids can play outside here. Not like on our block.”

Yvonne plunked down beside her friend. Izzy was a dreamer, but this particular dream was one she shared. She could see herself living in a great place like this, once she found the right guy.

Izzy turned to her. “Matt really likes you. I can tell.”

“I’m not getting my hopes up, Iz. He’s probably just anxious to get his mitts on these puppies.” She pointed at her ample bosom.

Izzy shook her head decidedly. “Uh-uh. I don’t think so. He’s interested in you, V, not your tits.”

“That would be a first.”

“Matt is special. He’s a good guy. A keeper.”

“Let’s just wait and see. I’m not getting my hopes up.” Though Matt definitely lit her flame, she couldn’t afford pinning her hopes on him. If he turned out like all the others, she’d be crushed. And she was too old and crusty-hearted to let that happen. “What about Frank? You really like him?”

At the mention of her date for the night, Izzy’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yes, I do. He’s dreamy, don’t you think? Old-fashioned dreamy. I bet he’s the kinda guy who lays down his coat so a girl can step over a puddle.”

“Yeah, he does strike me as old-fashioned. In a good way, I mean.”

“Oh, V. I think I’m gonna have to give him the smoocher.”

Yvonne rolled her eyes. “Oh God. Not the smoocher, Iz.”

Izzy nodded five times in quick succession, then tilted her heart-shaped face as a sign of resolve. “Yes. He’s going to get the smoocher. And if he passes the test, I’ll know that he’s the one for me.” She elbowed her friend in the ribs. “You do the same, V. The smoocher never lies.”

“I don’t think the smoocher would go down well with Matt. Remember, the guy is armed, Iz.”

“He won’t shoot you.”

“I’m not too sure about that.”

“He won’t. He’s in love with you.”

“No, he isn’t. He’s in love with the puppies. Ouch!”

Izzy had given her another shove in the ribs, harder this time. “Give him the smoocher. Then you’ll know.”

Yvonne reached over and gave her friend a shove back, which made her fall from the couch and onto the floor in a flurry of giggles. Something clicked and whirred, and when Izzy didn’t come up, Yvonne reached out a hand. “Iz? You all right?”

Looking down, she saw that Izzy was staring at something underneath the couch.

“V? What is this thing? It came up when I went down.”

“What’s what?” Dropping down on all fours, she peered under the couch.

A small black box had popped up out of the hardwood floor. It looked very much like the black box they’d retrieved from Oswin Grant’s house earlier, only this one didn’t have any lights flashing across its surface.

Izzy touched her hand to the box, then immediately retracted it as if it was electric. “Do you think it’s just a piece of the floor?”

“No way. I bet it’s one of Grant’s inventions.” Yvonne put her shoulder against the couch, and easily moved it a couple of feet. She now saw that a piece of the hardwood floor had been depressed where Izzy’s bum had hit it. It must have triggered the box to pop up out of its hiding place.

They both sat down on the floor next to the box. It appeared to be made of a smooth black metal. Yvonne gingerly prodded it with her finger. Nothing happened.

“Is it safe, you think?”

“No current,” Yvonne mumbled, then gave it another prod for good measure. It seemed safe enough. She took a firm grip on the box and gave it a yank. It easily lifted out of its hiding place. It was about the size of a football, and she weighed it in her hand. It was lighter than she’d imagined.

“Can I touch it?”

She handed the box to Izzy, who carefully took it. “Weird, huh? What do you think it is?”

Yvonne shrugged. She wasn’t technologically savvy at all. If she could get her smartphone to work, she was happy. “We better get it to Matt.”

Izzy brought it up to her eyes, scrutinizing the surface closely. “There’s some kinds of markings on it.”

“Markings?”

Before she could stop her, Izzy had pushed down on a corner of the box. Like before, there was a soft whirring sound, and before their very eyes, the box transformed. The black elements forming the hull collapsed like a row of domino stones, and before long, the inner workings of the box were revealed to them. Finally, the process stopped as abruptly as it had started, and in Izzy’s hands now rested something that looked like a miniature laptop computer.

There was a small screen, and a keyboard, and when Izzy randomly tapped a key, the screen came to life, and displayed a map, just like the black box in Yvonne’s room had done. In the center of the map, a red dot blinked. Yvonne recognized the red dot. The last time she’d seen it, Betty and Bessy had died a gruesome death.

“Oh, no. Not again.” She snapped the device from Izzy’s grasp and slapped it closed. “We need to get out of here. Now!”

They pounded down the staircase, then through the hallway to the front door. And they’d just raced out the door, when that familiar whining sound came rocketing down at them. Moments later, a deafening blast followed, and both women were thrown to the ground. Pieces of debris rained down on them, and it was only when she realized she was still holding onto the device, that Yvonne threw it away from her as far as she could.

Seconds later, another whine rent the air, and another, smaller blast, destroyed the device, pounding it into the lawn and obliterating it from the face of the earth.

Panting, Yvonne and Izzy shared a look of anguish. “This never happened when we were picking up the trash!” Izzy whined.

She was right. As sanitation workers they’d never been bombed. Perhaps they really weren’t cut out for this kind of job.

***

“Everything’s been taken care of,” assured Brian the man only know to him as the Marquis. “The last of the devices has been destroyed.”

“The demonstration was most satisfactory, Brian. I’m extremely pleased with the result.”

“That is gratifying, Marquis. So when are we arranging the transfer?”

“As soon as you’ve taken care of a few pesky witnesses. You know what I mean.”

“Right. Of course.” Brian wasn’t too happy with this part of their arrangement, though he’d known it would come.

“When can you have it done?”

“Tonight. I’ll take care of it tonight.”

“Excellent. The moment it’s done, get in touch. I’ll arrange for us to meet face to face.”

That was news. “We’ll be meeting face to face?”

The other man chuckled. “Of course, Brian. You’ve been working for me for so long now it’s time we met, don’t you think?”

“Sure. I just didn’t think—”

“Then don’t develop the habit now. I’ll do the thinking, you do the footwork. I think it’s an arrangement that is mutually satisfactory.”

“It is, it is,” Brian was quick to assure the mystery man. Already this deal had made him far richer than he’d ever dared dream, and soon he’d get to meet the man responsible for it all. “If I may say so, I’m very much looking forward to meeting you, sir.”

“Likewise, Brian. Likewise. Now take care of this last loose end, and we’re home free.”

As soon as the Marquis had disconnected, Brian laid a larger version of the black box Yvonne and Izzy had discovered at the house on the work table in front of him. He’d invested so much time in this project already, and even though he balked at the prospect of sending one of his best and oldest friends to the grave years before his time, he knew he had to see this through. Or else it would be
his
hide on the line.

He worked diligently for half an hour, then smiled to himself.

“All set,” he murmured, staring at his handiwork. “Let’s get the ball rolling.”

“Okay. You can open your eyes now.”

Izzy’s eyes flashed open, and she uttered a surprised yelp. Frank had driven her to an undisclosed location for their date, and as she stared out at the concrete structure across the parking lot, she had a sinking feeling. The place looked like a strip club. A neon sign flashed orange, announcing this was a place where beers were being served, and another sign, this one a mottled green, promised ‘fun and games for the whole family.’

Her worst fears subsided. Ah, the whole family. So definitely not a strip club.

“So? What do you think?”

She didn’t want to upset Frank and potentially cause their date to tank before it had even started, so she produced the kind of squeal she’d utter when discovering a big bulky package under the Christmas tree. “I think it’s wonderful, Frankie!” Then she added, “What is it?”

Frank’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Why, it’s the gun range, of course.”

“The gun range?” she said a little tremulously. Had he really brought her out to shoot guns? As a date?

“Yeah. I thought you’d love it. A gun nut such as yourself, you probably come out here all the time, don’t you?”

She shifted in her seat, a little uncomfortable. Self-preservation told her she must keep up appearances. For some reason, Frank and Matt were still convinced she was some sort of super spy, while before yesterday, she’d never even seen a gun up close. “Sure. Sure. But I’ve shot so many guns that I’m a bit tired of the whole thing. Perhaps we could see a movie instead?”