Out of Control (13 page)

“Not if he's trailing the man. Did I tell you that Ethan's been gone for years?”

Audra arched a brow. “Too much has been going on to even think about Rafe and his brother, beyond being grateful for their help. I don't know a thing about them.”

“Ethan returned home last night. Things aren't easy between him and Rafe. And there's another brother who fought in the war.” Julia told Audra what she knew about Seth.

“Our family needing so much help couldn't have come at a worse time.” Julia shook her head, and a red curl whacked her in the face.

Audra reached up and plucked a twig out of her hair and held it up so Julia could see it. “You've got leaves, too. You need to go change your dress and clean up. What a day.”

Maggie started to wiggle, and Audra put her down so the little one could toddle around.

Rafe came back out shaking his head. “The infection's spread too far.”

“We already knew that.” But it still hit Julia. Hard. She'd been coiled up tight, bracing herself for the screams. Then nothing. Now this death sentence. She thought of the times she'd walked away from arguments with her father to keep the peace. These days it was for Audra's sake, and Maggie's, but she'd always done it, even as a young girl. Solved her problems by taking long walks. Her feet itched right now to walk away and find just a few minutes of peace—and distance—and loneliness.

She had lived so much of her life alone, she wondered if she'd ever truly be comfortable with people close at hand all the time.

“I hoped there was something . . .” Rafe sounded like he pitied them. Julia didn't like the pity. She'd received a fair amount of it over the years when schoolteachers asked about her parents and neighbors worried over her father being away so much. She'd become more and more guarded about her living situation to avoid that pity. In these circumstances, she understood how Rafe felt, but she couldn't help but want to escape it.

Rafe went on in his gentle tones, completely at odds with his usual take-control bossiness. “I hoped maybe Steele would know some medicine to draw out the poison.”

Maggie gave a happy squeal, then ran toward Rafe on wobbly legs and slammed into his knees. Rafe gave her a faint smile, reached down to steady her when she'd have sat down hard. He ran a big hand over the girl's head in a way that made Julia's heart clutch. Had her father ever touched her so gently?

“So you won't even try . . . what you—” Audra cleared her throat—“planned to try?” Her jaw was clenched so tightly, she could barely speak.

“Steele says no. Wouldn't do any good to . . . to . . .” Rafe hoisted Maggie into his arms and was silent for too long. “No sense putting him through it.”

Audra closed her eyes and rested a slender hand on her stomach. “I have to go to him. Make sure he's comfortable. Try and pray with him. I'm sorely afraid my husband isn't ready to meet his Maker.”

“Julia wasn't real sure when the baby would come. Do you know?” Rafe's question stopped Audra.

Steele came out just as Rafe asked. Julia knew how shy Audra was. She wouldn't want to speak of such things in front of strange men, however kind and helpful they'd been. And she'd already told Rafe enough.

Julia opened her mouth to take over.

“I've got . . . um, a month or . . . well . . . I'm not positive.” Pink colored Audra's cheeks. “The usual . . . signs . . .” The pink darkened. “It's hard to judge.”

She fell silent, as if speaking exhausted her.

“I wish we could ride out of here.” Rafe looked at the trail that led down the mountain to Rawhide. “Wendell's got a horse. We could get you to town, but there's no doctor and no fit place for you to stay. Or we could get you across that creek and come with a wagon most of the way to give you a ride to our ranch.”

He looked around as if prepared to take charge of everything.

Julia bristled. “Do we dare to move Father?”

Rafe hesitated.

Steele said, “Moving won't make his condition worse, miss. He can't get much worse.”

Audra inhaled suddenly.

“But it will be painful for him.” Rafe spoke quickly. Julia suspected he did it to head off tears. “So we'll wait.”

Until he dies
. Rafe didn't say that out loud, but Julia got the message.

“I'll get some wood chopped, then haul water. Ethan spotted a man in the woods. He's on his trail. Steele, can you take Wendell's horse down the trail toward Rawhide for just a little ways. Ethan was heading in the right direction to cross the trail. See if you can find him and give him a hand if he needs it.”

“Sure, boss.” Steele pulled on his gloves.

“If he doesn't turn up soon, we'll have to get serious about hunting him. And I want you back at the ranch soon. I need someone in charge. I may be out here a while.”

“I can keep the place running for however long it takes.” Steele headed for the horse picketed down the trail on a grassy slope.

Rafe turned to look between Julia and Audra and opened his mouth.

“Are you preparing to give us orders, too?” Julia braced herself. “Maybe you'd like to put the baby to work.”

“We'll need an evening meal.” His eyes shifted between her and Audra, and she knew he was deciding which one of them to assign that chore to. She couldn't stand it. She just needed a few minutes.

“Audra and I know full well what needs to be done around here.” She put enough starch in her words to make sure Rafe knew he wasn't the only one who could give orders. Then she closed the few feet between her and the man who was acting like the crowned king of the Gilliland home.

“But I need a few minutes alone.” She cut her gaze to Audra. “I need time. To pray. To walk.”

“I'll go along,” Rafe said.

“No. Alone, I said. We've got time before I need to start cooking. Just watch Maggie for a few minutes while Audra sits with Father. Then I'll be back to take the baby, tend Father, and see to a meal.”

Steele came riding up the trail from the corral with Father's horse. The grizzled old man turned to head downhill again toward Rawhide.

Rafe looked doubtful. Like he was afraid she couldn't
walk
unaided. He pointed to several packs Julia hadn't noticed by the door. “Ethan brought some supplies. I haven't looked at 'em, but Ethan will've brought plenty of food.”

Julia set a hand on Audra's back. “Will you be all right for just a little while?”

“Yes, you go. Get away from here. Clear your head. Pray, cry if you can.”

Audra knew her so well.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“I've already had a nap. I don't need another.” Audra's cheeks, fiery red when she'd talked about her baby being birthed, had faded to milk white, but she looked determined.

“Before I go, I'll get a chair set up in Father's room and you can sit with him.” They headed inside. Julia pointedly ignored the tyrant in front of her cabin.

Audra trailed after her. “Maybe he's beyond our help, but he's not beyond God's. I'm going to go care for him with hot water and prayers.”

Audra's words were calm, but Julia heard exhaustion. “I won't be gone long.” Julia picked up the canvas bags of supplies as they entered the house. Neither of them had taken the news about Father's death very hard. It was a sad testimony to a man's life. She helped get Audra settled in a chair by Father's side and stepped outside to see that stubborn mule of a Kincaid standing in her way.

“I don't like you going off alone, Julia.”

“I'll just go along the trail your foreman just came on from the corral. It can't be dangerous. Just, please, Rafe. A few minutes is all I need.”

He didn't like it, that was plain as day, but he let her go.

He'd been in the dark for so long. How long? A week? A month? He'd gotten so used to it, he'd forgotten there was light.

He moved well in the dark, as if blindness were his natural state. His childhood had prepared him for this cavern.

Touching the scars was a reminder.

Now he spied on Wendell Gilliland's house and watched and waited.

Slipping from rock to rock. Hiding in the shadows, he saw no sign of Gilliland. Better anyway to take one of the women. Hold her until he could force Gilliland to talk. He preferred the redhead. The blonde, far gone with a child, would be too much trouble.

But the redhead would be tough enough to not collapse when he pulled her down into that cavern. He didn't want her hurt. He just needed her to get Gilliland's cooperation.

He crawled up, over the lip of a ledge near the corral to see the redhead walk straight for the place he hid. He slid his gun out. One blow to the head and she'd be silent. He'd take her away, hide her in the dark.

She strode along, dressed in green, which made her hair seem vividly red by contrast. He crouched, ready to spring. She got closer and he heard her muttering. Then closer still, and he heard prayer.

“Hold my father in the palm of your hand. Save his soul, Lord. Bless him, forgive him.”

He coiled to lunge, but . . . he couldn't. It was as if her words were ice and they froze him, crouched low, like he was cringing before God.

He tried to focus his strength, break through the ice. She rushed by, and he shook free of that unnatural stillness and could move again.

“Julia, wait!” Rafe picked up his pace, determined to catch her before she hiked all the way to California.

Julia stopped and turned. She planted her hands on her hips and scowled at him.

Something shifted behind a pile of man-sized rocks, and Rafe stopped to look in that direction. He had his gun in his hand before he was even sure what he'd seen, if anything.

He kept his eyes on the rocks but talked to Julia. “Get back here. I don't want you out alone.”

“I just needed a few minutes of peace and quiet, Rafe.” She crossed her arms and tapped the toe of her little boot fast and loud. “Are you planning to shoot me if I don't obey you?”

He had to fight back a grin as he holstered his gun and walked to meet her. “Now, don't be upset. I didn't know you were going to go so far from the cabin. If you need to walk, let me come with you. I promise to be quiet.”

The noise Julia made was pure rudeness. Rafe grinned. Which was a mistake.

“I said I wanted to be alone.”

“So I'll walk a few paces back.”

“Go away.”

“No.” They stared at each other for far too long.

Rafe had no idea what she was thinking. Dismemberment probably.

Suddenly, she relaxed from that defiant stance and walked toward him.

She drew even with him and would have walked past, but Rafe's hand shot out, almost against his will.

Their eyes met, and Rafe saw so much. Grief. Anger. Confusion. Strength.

“I just needed to ask God to give my father a chance for salvation. I know I can't judge a man. But it's impossible to look at my father's life and not fear the worst. It's a terrible thing to fear that your father might not make it through the Pearly Gates.”

“In the end that's his choice. God gives us all a chance.”

“I know. And I know my father's had plenty of chances because I've talked with him myself. We had an ongoing tussle over Sunday services at our home. I usually just went outside and spent time with God alone.”

“Like you're doing now?”

Julia nodded.

“I can't let you stay out here when there might be trouble around. So I'll walk with you, or you can come back and sit apart from us but well within my reach.” Rafe looked at those big rocks and frowned. “I don't like it out here. I don't like the feel. I don't see anyone around, so it's probably just eating at me that Ethan saw someone. Probably the man in that cavern with you, but he wouldn't have come this way if he knew Ethan was on his trail. But it don't matter if the itch I feel is real or imagined, I'm not leaving you alone.”