Out of Left Field: Marlee's Story (17 page)

“Ooh, I hear a car.” Lisa jumped up to look out the window. “Ooh, I see Sam. I’ll go down and meet them.” She bounded out of the room and stomped down the stairs.

“What was that all about?” Marlee cocked her head to one side.

“You got me. She’s been weird all morning. So, how is your head?”

“I don’t know. It hurts a little, I guess. You know, I don’t even remember the ambulance ride that well. All I knew is that my head hurt and the driver hit every single bump on the way. I didn’t even realize I had hurt my shoulder until way later.”

Jeri grabbed her friend’s hand. “Marlee, I’m so sorry I got mad at you on the bus yesterday. And then you got hit in the head and just lay there on the ground not moving. Oh, my God.”

“I’m okay. Really. And look, our fight was my fault. I should have talked to you about it sooner. Susie and I are becoming friends, and I didn’t tell you. But you’ll always be my best friend.” She heard Susie and Sam in the kitchen talking with Lisa and her mother. “And I need to tell you something. I need to tell you the truth.” Marlee struggled to sit up.

Jeri helped her sit up, but said, “Shhh, it’ll keep. Don’t worry. Calm down.” A worried laugh escaped. “And besides, they’ll be here in about twenty seconds.”

Marlee closed her eyes for a moment. The struggle to sit up had drained her of energy. She took a deep breath and said, “I promise you. No more secrets. I swear.”

Jeri nodded. “Okay.”

They heard Lisa, Susie and Sam quietly make their way up the stairs.

Lisa opened Marlee’s bedroom door and held it open for Sam and Susie. Sam came in first. She looked at Marlee and stuck out her lower lip in a boo-boo face.

“Hey, P,” Sam said.

Marlee smiled. “Hey, 2. You look nice.”

Sam looked stunning. She wore tight white jeans with a salmon silk shirt tied snugly at her waist and a matching scarf.

“Oh,” Sam stammered and turned crimson. “Uh, thanks. I just threw this together.” She winked at Marlee. Marlee smiled again, not quite understanding the wink. She braced herself to look at Susie and was surprised to find that Susie looked almost as pale as she did.

“So, how’s your head?” Sam asked.

“Okay, I guess. They took a CAT scan of my head but didn’t find anything.” Marlee waited a split-second and then laughed.

It took another second, but the other girls finally picked up on the joke and laughed with her.

“You’re funny.” Sam shook her head. “Didn’t find anything.” She turned to Lisa and said, “She’s funny. You didn’t tell me she was so funny.”

Lisa shrugged, smiled, and reintroduced Sam to Jeri. Jeri stood up and shook her hand. The three of them wandered toward the open window, instinctively seeming to know to let Susie greet Marlee privately. Susie sat on the edge of the bed in the spot that Jeri had just vacated.

Susie smiled shyly and mouthed the word, “Hi.” Her hair hung loose over her shoulders. Marlee liked this softer side of Susie. “How are you, Marlee?” She looked at Marlee tenderly.

Marlee looked at Susie and got warm all over. Susie wore a pair of black jeans, a white tank top that showed every curve, and an unbuttoned forest green shirt, probably her father’s, on top. The dark green in the shirt brought out Susie’s milk chocolate eyes. Marlee melted in the softness conveyed in those eyes. Marlee desperately wanted to grab her hand, but didn’t. She couldn’t. Not with the other girls in the room.

“I’ve had better days, but I’m okay. Can’t play ball for a week, but I can go to school. How’s that for a bad joke?” Marlee laughed, but cut her laugh short when she noticed a one-inch gash under Susie's left eye. Susie had tried to hide it with makeup. “What happened to you?” Marlee reached toward Susie’s face, but Susie pulled away just out of reach.

“I know.” Susie touched the cut on her cheek. “We sure look a pair, don’t we?”

Marlee pursed her lips together and glanced at her three friends on the far side of the room. She sensed that she and Susie had a modicum of privacy so she looked directly at Susie and said softly, “You didn’t answer my question.” She reached for Susie’s hand and held it in both of her own.

Susie lowered her voice so the others wouldn’t hear. “Me? I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

Lisa said, a little too loudly, “Listen, we’re gonna wait downstairs.”

Marlee quickly let go of Susie’s hand as they approached.

Lisa said, “Hope you’re feeling better, Marlee.” She looked toward Sam and Jeri and nodded them toward the door. “Let’s go outside, eh?” Both Sam and Jeri nodded.

“Bye, Marlee,” Sam said. “Feel better.”

Jeri added, “Yeah, feel better. Call me later if you’re up to it. I’ll be home tonight and at the restaurant tomorrow.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks.”

Marlee listened to her friends clomp their way down the back stairs. And her mother thought she was noisy on those stairs. She heard Lisa ask Sam, “So, do you like bowling?” Marlee and Susie smiled.

Ah, they were finally alone. Marlee sighed when she saw Susie smile. Marlee watched different emotions swirl behind Susie’s eyes, but she couldn’t read any of them. She just wanted Susie to kiss her, even if it hurt her shoulder or her head. But something in Susie’s demeanor was off. Marlee verbalized what must have been on both their minds. “Some great weekend for us, wasn’t it?”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I guess.”

“Christy got tossed from the game, you know.”

“I heard. Jeri thinks Christy beaned me on purpose.” It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t an accusation. It was a simple statement, a baited fishhook.

“Marlee. Let’s not talk about—”

It must have been the concussion talking, because Marlee snapped, “No, you never want to talk about her. Why is that?”

Susie recoiled as if burned and sprang to her feet. She fled to the window and kept her back to Marlee. Marlee’s room was so quiet she could hear the rustle of the curtains blowing in the window. She could also hear Lisa and Sam talking excitedly about something in the driveway, though she couldn’t quite make out the words. She looked at Susie’s back. Susie kept her head down as if interested in the braided rug on Marlee’s bedroom floor.

“Susie? What’s going on?”

Susie’s shoulders sagged noticeably at Marlee’s question. The only thing Marlee could do was watch helplessly from her bed as Susie covered her face with both hands.

“Susie?” Marlee struggled to get up.

Susie turned. “Marlee, no! Stay in bed.” Susie’s eyes were moist and red-rimmed. She was obviously crying. She moved toward Marlee, but stopped short and sat on the edge of the recliner. She looked at the floor.

“What, Susie? You’re scaring me.”

“Marlee,” Susie started. “I...”

Susie looked up but didn’t look at Marlee. She locked her gaze on Marlee’s batting trophy across the room. She got up and pulled it off the shelf. “Marlee,” she said again. “I’m really sorry.” She put the trophy back and stood facing the bookshelf. “Marlee, this is all my fault.” Her voice cracked. She noticeably struggled to keep herself under control.

“Susie, what are you talking about?” Marlee tried to get up again, but found she didn’t have the strength. She shut her eyes for a moment so the world would stop spinning and pleaded, “Susie, come here.” She patted the bed.

Obviously struggling with emotion, Susie turned to face Marlee. “She just gets angry sometimes. This,” Susie touched the gash under her eye, “was an accident. She doesn’t know how strong she is, but she shouldn’t take it out on you, too.”

Even though she already knew the answer, she wanted to hear Susie say it. “Who? Who gets mad, Susie?”

Silence.

“Susie, who gets mad?”

“Christy.”

“Why? Why does Christy get mad? What aren’t you telling me?”

“She found out about us, Marlee. I...she...”

The growing knot in Marlee’s throat made speaking difficult. She waited for Susie to finish her statement.

“Marlee, I can’t see you anymore.”

Marlee couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “What? What do you mean? Are you going out with her? Is she your girlfriend? Your other girlfriend?”

Susie looked stunned. “My girlfriend? No! No, she’s not my girlfriend. I wouldn’t do something like that to you. Please believe me about that. She’s straight, anyway. She’s just...I have to...look, it’s complicated, okay? I’m just afraid she might do something.” She looked at Marlee and blinked back her tears. “And if I just stay away from you, then you and Christy will both be safe.” Susie put a hand over her mouth and inhaled with a sob. “Marlee, you know I love you,” she choked, “but I have to go.” She stumbled for the door.

“Susie! I don’t understand.” Marlee’s head throbbed.

Susie stopped at the sound of her name and looked back at Marlee. “
Aay, Dios mio, mi amor,
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but it’s better this way. Believe me.” She flew out the door and bounded down the stairs, leaving Marlee to stare helplessly after her in pain and confusion.

Chapter Twelve

The Open Door

HAVING HER HEART ripped to shreds made it hard for Marlee to get through the weekend. Her heart ached more than her head and shoulder combined. She tried to do homework, but that was nearly impossible. Her physical handicap hadn’t helped, either. Writing with her left hand was as foreign to her as having her heart broken, but she had to deal with both.

She cursed her infirmity. She hadn’t been able to get up and stop Susie from leaving Saturday. But even if she had, she doubted she could have changed the outcome, anyway. She cried herself to sleep after Susie left and basically slept through the rest of the weekend. Her few meager attempts at homework and an unfruitful phone call to Jeri on Sunday were the only exceptions.

On Monday morning, Marlee’s mother pulled the minivan up to the front doors of the high school. Marlee usually took the bus to school in the morning, but she and her mother decided that Marlee should arrive at school after the first period of the day had already started. That way Marlee wouldn’t get jostled around too much right at the start. Of course, changing classes would be challenging from then on out, but Marlee assured her mother she could manage.

Getting ready for school had been exhausting. Her mother had to help her get dressed. But the truth was that Marlee couldn’t stand being cooped up in her room anymore, especially because Susie filled her every waking moment. And Susie even invaded her dreams when she slept. Marlee replayed over and over the first time she had seen Susie run out to left field and how her heart had threatened to leap out of her chest, it had been beating so hard. But then she also replayed over and over Susie saying, “Marlee, I can’t see you anymore.” Marlee needed to take on the chaos of school to help distract her from Susie for a while.

“Marlee,” her mother said from the driver’s seat, “are you sure you don’t want to stay home today? I can turn right around and take you home.”

“Mom, I’m okay. I need to try. I’ll call you if I want to go home.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” Marlee leaned over and hugged her mother with her good arm. “I’ll see you after practice.”

Marlee’s mother looked alarmed. “You’re not—”

“No, Mom. I’m just gonna watch. I can hardly move my arm anyway.” She winced when she attempted to show her mother the lack of movement.

“Just be careful, honey.”

Marlee got out of the van and slung her backpack over her left shoulder, her good shoulder. She waved goodbye and headed to the main office for a late pass. She knew her mother wouldn’t drive away until Marlee was safely inside the building. She took a deep breath and opened the school door. Once inside she waved at her mother through the mesh prison glass windowpane. Her mother waved back and then slowly drove away.

Marlee sighed and turned toward the main office. She couldn’t help the sudden flood of feelings. She tried not to remember how nervous she had been that first time pitching to Susie and how crazed she’d gotten when she realized she was attracted to her and then blurted out how she felt. But for some reason that is o-v-e-r! Marlee clenched her fists and tried to refocus her energy on school.

She made it through the first two periods of the day fairly well. Everybody in the school heard about the accident and wanted her to retell the story. Accident my butt, she thought.
There was nothing accidental about it. Right, Christy?
And of course, thinking about Christy made her think about Susie again. The memories were stronger than she was. Images of Susie passed through her mental movie projector. Susie leaning in close to whisper in her ear after that first softball game. Susie pulling her behind the shed. Susie holding her hand on the beach. Susie pulling her close in the stand of birch trees. Susie whispering, “I really like you.” But why think about Susie? There was no sense in it anymore. Marlee forced the projector off and walked to her third-period calculus class.

“Hey, Marlee.” Jeri caught up with her in the doorway of Mrs. Stratton’s classroom. “Girl, I can’t believe you’re in school today.”

“Yeah, well, me neither.” She sighed and let Jeri take her backpack from her. “I’m getting kinda tired already.”

“You want me to take you home? Say the word and we’re gone.”

“Nah, I’ll hang in there. Besides I want to go to practice today.” Marlee slid into her usual seat in front of Jeri.

Jeri plopped into her own seat and cried, “You’re not—”

“Chill out, Jeri, of course not. And besides, how can I practice? I’m just gonna hang out. I don’t want to miss anything.”

“Phew, I thought maybe there was some real brain damage.”

“Oh, cut it out.” Marlee attempted to get her notebook out of her backpack one-handed, but the spiral kept getting stuck on the zipper.

Jeri leaped out of her seat and helped her. “Hey Marlee, listen. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk on the phone yesterday. The restaurant was packed. We’ll talk later. You know, when you’re more up to it.” Jeri added a sympathetic smile.

Marlee smiled back at her friend. On Sunday, in a brief moment of clarity, Marlee had called Jeri ready to confide in her about the mess she was in, but Jeri couldn’t talk because the restaurant was crowded. Marlee was relieved, sort of, because she could put off the unpleasantness for another day and she had been asleep when Jeri called back. She turned toward the front of the classroom when Mrs. Stratton called for order.