Perfectly Broken (5 page)

When Zane moved back, he was quiet and avoided all interaction with people. It took weeks before he even spoke to me. The night that silence broke was a shock.

Zane had been home for almost a month. I’d learned to stagger our schedules to completely avoid him so the awkwardness didn't overwhelm me. I’d also considered moving out, knowing Tish wouldn't really need me anymore given Zane made more money than I did and would be able to pay rent
.
But
,
I had nowhere to go. That
,
and I really liked Tish. I was at work, behind the bar at one of the sleaziest joints in Vegas, when I saw him. Zane was sitting at a back table by himself. I was shocked to see him out, I didn’t even know if he was aware I worked there. I said nothing, adopting the same theory I had at the house of avoiding him.
 

It wasn't until closing, when I was walking out to catch a cab, attempting to avoid a few of the drunks who were hell bent on getting handsy, that I saw him again. One of the regulars grabbed my hips, tugging me back against him. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was just about to shove him away when Zane appeared in front of me. He grabbed my arm, pulling me to him possessively.

"Hands off the girl," he said
.
It wasn't the first time I'd heard him speak
,
but the deep timber of his voice still shocked me. Next to Tish, he didn't seem like a large guy but here, on this dark street, looking at the drunks with narrowed eyes, he was nothing short of menacing. The men backed away from Zane quickly, disappearing toward the lights in the distance.
 

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. I tugged against his grip but he didn't release my arm. I had no idea how much he'd had to drink and the only thing I knew about him was he harbored some sort of resentment against women since he moved home. My survival instincts kicked in. I was tiny compared to him, my head barely hitting his chest, but it was enough with the element of surprise on my side.

I spun and extended my right leg as high as I could, aiming for his head. I knew
,
even before he leaned back in an attempt to avoid the kick
,
that I wouldn't be able to land it. My foot connected with his chest and he released my arm as he stumbled back, hitting the ground hard. A large part of me wanted to run, but I knew he would catch me so I stood my ground. I took a stance, lifting my hands as I bounced lightly on my toes to loosen myself up for a fight. My element of surprise was gone but I was still fast and
,
thankfully, wearing my boots.

"Whoa! Shit. I was just trying to help. Damn." Zane pushed to his feet slowly, holding one hand out toward me while rubbing at his chest with the other.

"I can take care of myself." I didn't quite lower my guard but he grinned, giving a derisive laugh.

"So I see. Where did you learn to kick like that?"

I stretched my neck, keeping my eyes on him as I answered. "Two years of Kickboxing."

"Well, you had me fooled. I saw a small girl who I thought needed help. My mistake." He gave me a wide berth as he headed toward the street. He didn't look back as he spoke. "I've got a cab waiting if you want a ride back to the house."

I debated for a moment. I already knew he wouldn't try anything in front of Tish once we were at the house and I wanted to figure out what he was all about
.
So, deciding that there wasn't much he could pull in a cab, I followed. I'm glad I did.

On the ride home, Zane actually talked to me. He opened up about his ex, Lizzie, and how they'd been together since high school. He explained how he found out she'd been cheating on him with his best friend
,
Adam. He showed me a picture of his son, who was two, and who he was crushed to find out wasn't even his. I'd seen pictures of Conner in the house but it meant something that he was choosing to confide in me.

Once we were at the house, we sat on the cracked concrete of the driveway as he told me how his trust had been shattered. His trust in women, in people in general, and in love. I didn't say much, I just listened to his story until he was silent. As we walked up the path to the house, I put my hand on his arm to stop him.

"You want to know what I think?"

He nodded, seeming to brace himself for my reaction.

"I think that trust is for people who want to get hurt. Love is just a ploy to get someone to trust you and then it's all just lies disguising themselves as kind words. But
,
in the end, no matter how much perfume you spray on a pile of shit, it still stinks."

Zane was silent for a beat while he analyzed my words. Then, he laughed. He laughed louder than I would've thought possible given how soft spoken he had been around me up until just a short while ago. The laughter brought out a dimple in his cheek that I never knew existed before that moment.

"Christ, you sure have a lot of animosity for someone so tiny," he said, still chuckling.

I narrowed my eyes and shoved at his chest, fighting a smile. He didn't budge. I hated being called small but there was something about Zane's sudden mood change that was contagious. "I'm serious! You're like… a pixie or something."

"Shut up!" I shoved him harder, pushing past him toward the house.

His voice traveled up from the steps behind me. “Pixie? Awww… come on. Don’t get mad. I wouldn’t want to anger the pretty little pixie. I’ve heard they like to bite.”

I spun to face him, immediately fighting a smile again at the genuine amusement in his eyes. “I said, shut up.”

He feigned wariness as he edged around me toward the door, putting both hands out in front of him in a defensive stance. “Whatever you do, don’t break out the wings.”

“That’s it!” I laughed and chased him through the door.

In the weeks that followed, the carefully cultivated routine of avoiding him faded away. I actually spent more time around him than I did Tish. It was nice to feel like I could stay in the house without being a completely unwelcome intruder.

A knock on the bathroom door pulled me back to the present. I shook my head, closing my eyes.

"Yeah?" I yelled, wincing at the pain that shot from behind my eyes to the back of my skull.

"Just brought your robe
,
" Kas' voice came from the other side of the curtain. "And
,
don't think you're off the hook for last night." I paused for a moment, my mind racing as I tried to figure out what she could mean. "I'll only forgive you if you teach me some of those moves."

I groan, feeling pressure against my chest.
Stop, it hurts.
"Help!"

CHAPTER FOUR

Hiding

ZANE

I dropped onto the bed, exhausted and still somewhat hung over from last night. As far as birthdays went, that was one for the record books
.
Though, the memories were a bit overwhelming. I'd gotten so close to letting Lizzie pull me back in and that thought was haunting me more than anything.

Well, almost.

The thought of Lili and what she may or may not have done in her drunken state after leaving the club was hanging over me heavily. She said what happened was all about Lizzie and I had no reason not to believe her. She seemed to be telling the truth and her actions after she left Lust definitely backed up her story.

"Knock, knock," Kas said as she tapped her knuckles against the open door to my room. I turned my head to look at her. "Get your ass up, Romeo. Breakfast is ready."

I rolled my eyes and started to shake my head.

"Nope. No moping allowed this morning. You moped all night after the bar and you have all day to do that while Tish and I work. Right now, we're having a day-after-your-birthday breakfast."

"Shut up, Kas," I groaned and pushed myself up, rubbing my right hand through my hair. "And don't call me Romeo." I stood and she shoved me lightly before leading me toward the kitchen.

"Stop acting like some tragic little lost boy in love with a girl he can't have," Kas said the words loudly as she passed the still closed bathroom door and I vehemently wished I had something to throw at her.

"You're delusional," I said, heading to the place already set for me at the table. I dropped into the chair and knocked away Kas' hand as she tried to ruffle my hair when she passed. I looked down at the stack of pancakes and plate of eggs and instantly felt guilty for snapping at her. "Kas." I waited for her to turn back around before I grinned. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said with a wink and grabbed the orange juice from the counter, bringing it to the table. "Do you think Lili will feel like eating?"

"I highly doubt it
.
" I sighed as Tish entered the kitchen and moved to his chair, kissing Kas' cheek as he passed her.

"Did you talk to her?" Kas asked as she sat down, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I checked on her when I heard her waking up. I've never seen her that drunk before, so I wanted to make sure she was okay," I answered and then quickly took a bite of my food, hoping Kas would let the subject drop.

"Yeah, she was really trashed. Sounds like she had some fun after she left the club," Kas said with a mischievous grin
.
Leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her fists, she watched me carefully for a reaction.

"Sounds that way
,
" I replied, attempting to keep my voice even
.
The reminder of Lili's actions after leaving Lust made the anger and irritation I'd felt last night return
.
I shoved another bite of food into my mouth, ignoring it
.

"Does something about that bother you?" Kas pushed, still watching me.

I shook my head while I finished chewing. "Nope. Just wish I’d had that much fun.” I grinned again and downed my orange juice, trying to finish this meal, and this conversation, as quickly as possible.

"With Lili?" Kas asked.

Tish groaned
,
dropped his fork and picked up his plate. "I'm out of here. I can't listen to this shit," he grumbled, carrying his plate toward the hall.

Kas stayed quiet until he was safely out of the kitchen.

"He thinks of her as a little sister. He worries about her. He worries about both of you, actually," Kas confided quietly
.
She reached out to steady the glass that was shaking in my hand, just as she had done last night at the club. "It wouldn't be the end of the world for you to have feelings for Lili. You two are close. I know it's scary to open yourself up again once you've been hurt
,
but think about it, Zane. You and Lili have been around each other so much the last few years
,
you've already opened that vulnerability as friends. You're closer than most people trying to start a relationship."

"What the hell makes you think I want to start a relationship with anyone?" I grabbed my plate and moved to the sink, unable to sit at the table with Kas as she talked about this.

"I saw the way you watched Lili last night. The way you danced with her and the way you kissed her. You care more than you probably planned to and you're only now starting to realize it," Kas said softly. I heard her come up behind me but I shook my head, keeping my back to her.

"You're reading too much into it," I said with as little emotion as possible and left the kitchen quickly, almost running into Lili as she stepped out of the bathroom.
 

Her robe was wrapped tightly around her and she had a towel tied on her head in that way all girls were seemingly born knowing how to do. A long
,
black curl had come loose from the towel and hung down, dripping water onto the small section of exposed skin at her collarbone.

"Hey," she said, giving me a small, pained smile. I smiled back automatically, unable to help it as I forced my eyes from her chest to her face. Her small features were still somewhat pinched as she fought the hangover but the circles under her eyes were already looking less prominent.

"Feeling better?" I asked, seeing Kas out of the corner of my eye, watching us from the kitchen.

"Much. You were right. It can only get better." She let out a soft laugh. I glanced over at Kas, hating her smug expression.

"Glad to hear it." I turned and headed into my room. I wanted to stay and talk to her more. Hell, a part of me wanted to lift her up and let my tongue follow the drops of water that were running under the collar of that tattered black robe of hers
.
That
was why I had to walk away now. What the fuck was happening to me? I was not the guy who hit on his fucking roommate. She was one of my best friends and what happened last night was no different than the hundreds of nights before when we'd been out together.

It meant nothing.

I had just settled on the couch and flipped on the TV when the front door opened. I turned my head and furrowed my brow, wondering who had come in. The door closed and, still, no one appeared but I heard the sound of Lili's heavy breathing
.
I quickly hopped up and moved to the entryway. I paused, taking in the sight of Lili, bent over at the knees with both arms wrapped around her stomach. Her tank top was completely drenched and her hair was piled on top of her head with strands plastered to her neck and cheeks with sweat.

"Did you seriously go for a run?" I stepped closer before the scent caught me off guard. "Whoa. Shit, Pix." I covered my nose and mouth with my hand.

Lili looked up and gave me what I think was supposed to be a smile as she continued breathing heavily. "I needed… the exercise. Damn, Zane. Are… you saying I… smell
that
bad?"

"I'm saying you're sweating straight alcohol. Fuck. Did you even take water?" I asked, immediately noticing she didn't have a bottle with her. She shook her head, confirming what I already knew. I pointed toward the kitchen and followed behind her until she dropped into a chair at the table. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and a banana from the bowl on the counter and placed them both in front of her.