little at the sudden shift of attention onto him.
“Uh. Veterinary medicine,” Ethan said with a sheepish
smile. Devon’s brows rose in surprise and excitement. He
loved
animals.
“Ooh, that sounds fascinating. What kinda classes do you
have to take?” he asked, and Ethan looked pleasantly
surprised that he was so interested in it.
“Well uhm, like your typical core classes mostly for the
first year and then you have to take a bunch of classes
like…” Ethan paused thoughtfully and then began to list off
all the different classes, “Pharmacology, general pathology,
34
Phoenix
Histology, gross anatomy, large animal surgery, small
animal medicine, animal behavior, and like bovine
procedures. I’m kinda nervous about that last one. Cows
freak me out.” He let out a hesitant sort of giggle and looked
away.
“Wow…that’s really cool,” Devon said with a wide grin
after stopping to consider it for a few moments. “I think I
may have just found my major, dude, thanks!”
Ethan looked up with a wide smile, unhindered by his
teeth in any way. It was probably the first actually genuine
expression he’d seen unfettered by nerves, and it was a
really nice sight to see. “O-oh, really? You’re welcome,” he
said.
Devon just smiled broadly and relaxed back again,
nodding firmly, content with his decision.
* * * *
Blake was perfectly content letting Devon and Riley talk,
and he knew Ethan was the same way. He was finding out
very fast that Devon was nothing if not a loudmouth. No,
more like a motor mouth. He didn’t find himself minding
very much.
“So are you guys from here or did you just come here for
school?” Devon asked, glancing from Riley, to Blake, to
Ethan, eyes widening expectantly.
“Well, I moved here from Illinois,” Blake said with a
chuckle. “Tiny little town, I hope I never have to go back.”
“Yeah, it kind of sucks,” Ethan agreed with a nod. “I lived
there, too, from high school on,” he explained as Devon
pulled a confused expression. The way he pulled it, though,
was comical to Blake, and he grinned to himself again.
“Well, I guess I’m the minority in saying that I was born
and raised here, huh?” Riley said with a teasing smile.
35
Joey James Hook
Blake nodded. “Looks like it,” he said, and he could tell
he was starting to relax and ease into this ‘conversation’
thing. He’d always been weird and mildly paranoid about
making new friends outside of Ethan, but this wasn’t quite
as bad as he thought it was going to be.
“Yep, my dad went to this college and he pressured the
shit out of me to get a scholarship in football so I could go
here, too,” Riley said with a roll of his eyes, scratching at the
back of his neck as he stretched, muscled biceps shifting
under the light. Blake caught himself staring and shook
himself, looking away. “He’s the kind of guy who eats,
sleeps and breathes football. It’s kind of annoying.”
“My dad’s like that with baseball,” Blake laughed, trying
to get rid of the feeling of heaviness coming into his
stomach. Stupid crush. That’d never work. Why was he even
thinking that anyway? He couldn’t afford to be in a
relationship, and besides it was probably lust anyway. He’d
never given into that before, and the thought made him feel
sick to his stomach. Besides, Devon and Riley would
definitely be a better match. To distract himself from his
thoughts, he continued, “Well, maybe not that bad, but you
can’t get him out of the house when the World Series is on,
especially if it’s the Cubs playing.”
“My dad’s like that with soccer, especially the Italian
team,” Ethan spoke up with a light laugh. “It’s so funny
because he’ll sit in front of the TV for hours, intently
watching the game and cursing in Italian if his team fucks
up.”
Blake laughed quietly and shook his head, murmuring, “I
remember that.”
“Yeah, that’s how my dad gets with UCLA and shit like
that. He’s a real California teamer and he’s got a bit of an
anger problem so he has this habit of snapping at the
television when it’s done absolutely nothing to him. He’s
36
Phoenix
broken at least a couple TVs before because of it,” Riley
piped up, but Blake noticed that Devon had gone quiet.
“Devon? You okay?” Blake asked in a markedly softer
voice. Devon seemed to shake himself and smiled with a
nod, but Blake could tell it was fake. Riley nudged him
gently, and suddenly Blake wished he could, too. He’d never
been one for physical contact with strangers, but Devon was
feeling less and less like a stranger the more they all talked.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just hearing about dads ‘n shit reminds
me that mine left me when I was nine, so I don’t remember
much about him,” he said, rather candidly than Blake had
expected.
Blake just nodded empathetically and relaxed a little.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said, his expression turning lopsided
with the emotion that he was feeling, his heart hurting a
little at the thought. He hated his dad sometimes, but the
thought of him not being in his life for the past ten years
kind of did hurt. Surprising, considering half the time he
pretended he didn’t have a father.
Devon shook his head and brushed it off like it didn’t
matter. “It’s fine, no big deal,” he said, but some niggling
feeling in the back of Blake’s head made him feel like it
wasn’t all right, and there was something there that was
begging to be let out, if only Devon would let it.
“All right, if you say so,” Blake said in a voice that was
gentle but not defeated. The knowing smile he gave surely
told Devon that he wasn’t fooled in the slightest. If he picked
up on it, though, he didn’t acknowledge it.
“Different subject!” Riley proclaimed in a thundering
tone. Ethan let out a snuffle, which was really a stifled snort
of laughter as he pulled his hoodie-covered hands up to his
mouth.
“Yes!” Devon echoed the enthusiasm in the other man’s
statement, eyes finally lighting up from their half-dulled
37
Joey James Hook
state that had tipped Blake off in the first place.
Blake laughed a little and shook his head, amused but in a
removed sort of way. Devon had him intrigued. “Then pick
a subject, anyone,” he suggested with a grin. He sure as hell
wasn’t going to be picking a subject. His mind was still too
stuck on the whole gender thing to think of anything else
unless someone else brought it up.
“Favorite animal!” Devon suggested decisively, nodding
and grinning in a way that forced all of them to dissolve into
a helpless fit of laughter.
38
Phoenix
he rest of the dinner was spent horsing around,
T throwing fries at each other, and just generally being
retarded. Even Ethan opened up and nailed Devon in the
eye with a french fry, only to snicker and draw back
sheepishly, but still grinning widely.
“Aaahh! I’m down! Death by fry!” Devon called
dramatically, falling back onto the booth and letting his head
fall against Riley’s bicep.
“Oh, quit being a drama queen,” Riley told him in a
mock-harsh voice.
“Yeah, jeez,” Blake added with a laugh, shaking his head
and going back to eating his food. It was nice to be away
from schoolwork for a while, just hanging out with friends
and having a good time. Not once had any of them given
him a dark sidelong glance, even though the waitress had.
He didn’t understand what it was, but girls could pick up
on his trans status faster than other guys. They’d notice one
feminine quality and focus on it, and tonight was no
exception. He’d been getting weird looks from their waitress
all night.
He’d been nice enough to her, of course, keeping his voice
low to prove his point so to speak. He didn’t need to try
much anymore because of the testosterone, but whenever he
felt like he was close to being outed, he deepened his voice
even further. Ethan had unlatched from him and was sitting
39
Joey James Hook
straight on his own now, which was a huge thing, but it also
made Blake feel incredibly unbalanced. He felt like he
needed someone or something to anchor him every time she
came over and pointedly spoke differently to him than all
the other guys.
“Jesus, what’s that girl’s problem?” Riley asked with a roll
of his eyes after the waitress walked away.
Blake shrugged, not willing to out himself here and now.
Even though, for all he knew, Riley already knew and was
just playing along. “Dunno, maybe she’s just a bitch,” he
said.
“Well, I think we figured that out,” Devon piped up with
a snort of laughter before munching on one of the fries, one
of three he still had left.
“Damn, you demolished those fries,” Blake noted to
change the subject, giving an amused smile as he slung one
arm over his chest protectively without even thinking about
it. He knew by now that it was one of his defense
mechanisms.
“Yes, I did!” Devon proclaimed, pride evident in his
voice.
Riley just grinned and leaned over, grabbing one of the
last fries and shoving it in his mouth with a goofy sort of
grin, and Ethan snorted in laughter from beside him.
“Hey,” Devon drawled, a pout edging onto his full lips as
his shoulders slumped. “That was mine.”
“You’ve still got two more,” Riley replied with a broad
grin that said he wasn’t affected by the pout that Devon was
trying to win him over with. “And besides, what’re you
trying to achieve by pouting at me like that? You want me to
regurgitate it?”
Devon laughed and shook his head, the pout melting as
he shoved the last two fries in his mouth decisively. “Nope,”
he said through the food, grinning before turning his
40
Phoenix
attention to chewing the food he’d thoughtlessly put in
there.
“Too big for you, bigmouth?” Blake teased, and Devon
scrunched up his nose at him as he chewed.
“You guys are all so mean,” he said through the potatoes
in his mouth, swallowing and clearing his throat before he
spoke again. “So very mean. Pick on the new kid, why don’t
you?”
“But you’re so much fun to pick on,” Riley pointed out
with a wolfish grin.
“Agreed,” both Blake and Ethan spoke at the same time.
Blake looked over at his best friend and grinned broadly at
him, seeing that Ethan was beaming right back at him.
“So, quick question. Are you guys dating?” Devon asked,
and Blake looked up quickly, raising his eyebrows.
“Uh. No. We’re not,” he said quickly, glancing at Ethan
and seeing that his face was reserved. That was weird. It was
throwing up all sorts of red flags, but he wasn’t going to call
his best friend out on it in public. “He’s my best friend,” he
reaffirmed.
“Yeah, best friends,” Ethan said with a small smile,
brushing his short black hair out of his face and attempting
to tuck it behind his ear but failing as it fell right back in
front of his eyes.
“Huh. Okay!” Devon said, but Blake could already tell he
wasn’t convinced. He looked up in time to see the way
Devon rolled his eyes. He was more concerned with the way
Ethan’s face changed when the question was asked. Eh, he’d
ask him about it later.
“Just so you guys know everyone up at the school pretty
much thinks you are,” Riley interjected in a kind voice, and
Blake shot him a sheepish smile. “Especially Dominic. He
never shuts up about it.”
“Dominic can go to hell for all I care,” Blake muttered,
41
Joey James Hook
seeing a grim sort of smile cross Riley’s face. That bruise still
looked pretty bad, he idly noted.
“Well they think we’re dating because we’ve pretended to
be together to get creepy guys off Blake,” Ethan spoke up,
and Blake looked down as he felt Ethan’s hand move to rest
on his knee. He smiled a bit and looked back up, completely
comfortable with the move.
“Oh. Well, that makes more sense, then,” Riley chuckled,