Pink Butterfly (24 page)

“Doesn’t this place have a sprinkler system?” Alicia asked.

“Of course it does,” Jeff snapped back. “Who are you to assume it didn’t go off? Who knows what happened down there. Maybe a fire started, the sprinklers came on and put out the fire and left this poison smoke to kill everyone anyway.”

“What a stupid design,” Melvin said laughing.

“Speaking of stupid designs, what’s up with your chest?” Jeff asked.

“I dunno,” Melvin replied. “Pretty cool though,”

“Did you have that before you were executed or after you came back from the land of where ever the hell you came from?”

“I don’t remember having it before, must be something new.”

“I think we should get out of here so we don’t get lung poison. Let’s head back to the dance floor, or maybe to my office,” Jeff said watching the smoke swirl, mixed with the air seeping in from the storm outside.

The group left the storeroom and walked back into the main area when Alicia noticed someone pulling open the glass door at the front of the club. Jeff stepped forward when he noticed who it was and watched his ex-wife Dixie Delgado walk into the club steaming like a boiled potato pulled from a pot of hot water.

Dixie walked past the juice bar, past a few tables and chairs and stood fifteen feet from the elevated dance floor. She was short and dumpy, her hair was long and stringy and she looked like a witch from hell. Jeff had to think hard to remember her, it was years ago they were divorced, he couldn’t even really remember being married to her at all.

“I’ve come back for Melvin,” Dixie said dripping on the floor.

“What?” Jeff said dumbfounded.

“Melvin; your ex step daddy, I want him back.”

“You make it sound like he is your property,” Jeff said.

“Yeah, I know, I talk like that sometimes when someone steals my property.”

“Just out of curiosity, what makes you think you own him?”

Dixie pulled out her smartphone and brought up an image on the screen for Jeff to see. It was a deed to Melvin’s soul. She held up the screen for Jeff to read and he took a moment to lean in close to see the fine print.

“You made that up,” Jeff said. “Nobody owns anybody. Slavery was abolished in 1865.”

“Not for dead people,” Dixie replied. “Melvin was fried on the chair, he’s no longer a living being. My deed is for his soul, nothing else.”

“Ok, take him, he grosses me out anyway. All that chest eating shit is fucked up.”

“Yeah I know, why they do that to them I’ll never figure out. It’s one of the first modifications they make when they cross over. Supposed to keep evil at bay, but it turns most of them who get one use it for evil in the first place. Kind of like giving a kid a loaded gun and expecting them not to play with it.”

“Modifications? Where are you from?” Jeff asked. “Hell?”

“I’m from the place where bad, bad people go after they die. I used to be in the place where all the good, good people went, but it was really fucking dull so I transferred.”

“So I was right, you’re from hell.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dixie replied.

“And my evil step dad is an escapee?”

“Yeah, when you had that hack try to get Laurie out of the priest, it shot her to hell and freed Melvin on accident.”

“So how’s Laurie doing?”

“Pretty good, she’s dating some asshole, but what’s new, you’re an asshole.”

“Someday you’ll have to explain to me the purpose dating in hell, but first, can you get this freaky chest eater out of my club?”

“Yeah, but it’s easier if he comes along on his own, trying to fight these fuckers can be a bitch.”

“Why didn’t you bring help?”

“Duh, did you see this storm? I’m lucky I made it out here.”

“I figured you made the storm,” Jeff said.

“Not directly, I mean they pop up whenever I open the door to this side, but it’s not like I went out and created the wind and rain myself. It’s a byproduct of the process.”

“So when you leave the storm will stop?”

“Probably,” Dixie replied.

“Probably?” Jeff asked.

“I never stick around after I leave to find out so how the fuck would I know?”

Jeff scratched his butt and looked over to Melvin who was grinning like a retarded child molester. “Anything I can do to help?” he asked Dixie.

“Yeah, you can hold him down while I put this collar on him.”

“He’ll open his chest and eat my head.”

“Not if you watch what you’re doing. The other woman didn’t know what’s coming, you do.”

“I know what sharks do but I still don’t go swimming with them.” Jeff replied sarcastically.

“You have friends, you can all hold him down.”

Jeff looked back at the three girls standing together in a huddle away from Melvin. “What do you say girls? You want to help me hold him down so she can stick this collar on Melvin’s neck?”

“Fuck no,” Poonytang replied. The other two shook their heads no and refused to budge.

“Looks like it’s you and me,” Jeff said. “Or can you summon some help?”

“My help was too busy, seems I’m always free when they need help but when I ask, they have something more important to do.”

“Hell sounds like this place. Nothing really changes.”

“Nope, same shit, different location.”

“Then why are you bothering to take Melvin back in the first place? Why is he your responsibility?” Jeff asked.

“He’s one of my employees, that’s why. If my boss finds out he’s gone, I’m fucked.”

“So you’re just covering your own ass?”

“Yes, yes I am, now please help me before my boss gets back and finds out this fucktard got away.”

“Did you ever think of just asking him to go back with you?”

“It never works that way, why would he escape just to want to go back?”

“Maybe he’s homesick?”

“I doubt it,” Dixie replied.

“Hey Melvin!” Jeff yelled to Melvin who was sitting on the dance stage playing with himself over his pants while looking at Poonytang. “You want to go home now?”

Melvin took his hand off his crotch and looked back at Jeff. “Maybe, this place is pretty fucking boring,” he replied.

Thinking he was really smart, Jeff then looked back to Dixie and said, “See, it never hurts to ask.”

Dixie shook her head and gave Jeff a smirk. “Now I remember why we’re divorced.”

“Wait a second,” Jeff said thinking hard. “Were you from hell the whole time we were married? Or is this a recent change?”

“Oh, I was from hell the whole time, you were too stupid to figure it out.”

“Can you be more condescending?” Jeff asked.

“Yes, and I will be if you continue to be so stupid.”

“How the hell would I know if you were from hell?” Jeff asked.

“Well, for starters, I hated you, second, I cheated on you constantly, third, I hated you and fourth, I treated you pretty much like shit all the time,” Dixie replied.

“Yeah, but all women do that,” Jeff said.

“Yes, but I did it just a little bit harder.”

“And that “Little bit” was supposed to be enough for me to tell the difference?”

“I do have a pointy tail and a set of nubs on my head.”

“I thought that was some sort of sex costume?”

“We never had sex,” Dixie replied.

“That’s right, you were a frigid bitch, I do remember.”

“Just frigid to you, I fucked most any other guy that could. And that was most guys.”

“How did that work out for you?” Jeff asked with a smirk.

“Great, I got laid so much I used to walk with a limp.”

“That’s why you had that limp? I thought you got kicked in the crotch by a horse.”

“That’s a way of putting it, but no, it was all cock. And none of it was horse cock. Not that the idea didn’t cross my mind, I did work on a ranch.”

“What was your job on the ranch? I thought you were some cook or something.”

“My job was to lay on my back and collect sperm samples from the male staff. I did occasionally make a sandwich or two, but it was between to cowboys if you know what I mean.”

“Eight hours a day you were giving it up to other men at work?”

“I tried to put in twelve hour shifts, but yes, I gave it up a lot. What a fucking awesome job that was.”

“Was? What are you doing now?”

“I work for a pharmaceutical company in hell, they spend all day trying to find cures for all the diseases I picked up being a ranch whore.”

“And Melvin is one of your employees?”

“Yes, he’s washes all my boils and weeping puss pockets.”

“That is disgusting,” Jeff said.

“Oh well, you have to pay the piper sometime I guess. I need him back, my festering ass sore is starting to bleed and I need some lotion put on it.”

“Can’t you put your own lotion on it?”

“I wouldn’t touch my festering ass sore with a ten foot pole, that’s his job.”

“Have you ever heard of Karma?” Jeff asked.

“Is that a song by Boy George?” Dixie replied.

A loud thud rattled the floor of the club followed by a muffled crash. Most everyone thought it was the thunder until smoke seeped up from the floorboards. In a panic Melvin jumped off the elevated stripper stage and Alicia jumped on trading places.

“What was that?” Dixie asked.

“The embassy compound under the club, it must be still on fire.” Jeff replied in a panic.

“What should we do?” Dixie yelled.

“It’s raining like a fucking hurricane outside and the basement’s on fire, fuck, I don’t know.”

Two more thuds and the floor shook violently. More smoke rose from the cracks in the floor.

“We can’t stay here!” Poonytang yelled and ran towards the front door. Just then the floor surrounding the elevated floor gave way and all but Jeff and Melvin plunged into the cavernous hole created by the collapsing floor. Alicia sat on the stage dangling from the stripper poles that held the small island in place sixty feet from the bottom. In a flash, a plume of flame shot up from the bottom of the now collapsed embassy below the club. Alicia and the stage were enveloped in a fireball that singed the hairs on Melvin’s and Jeff’s arms as they tried to block the heat from the flame. Alicia screamed for a moment and then went silent as the fireball turned into a huge plume of smoke that raced along the ceiling of the club filling it with dense black smoke.

Jeff took off running towards the front door while he could still see it, Melvin pushed chairs aside and followed Jeff as close as he could gagging and choking on the smoke. In less than ten seconds, both men had pushed open the front door and ran into the parking lot to be pummeled by stinging rain and wind. Jeff turned back in time to see the entire Pink Butterfly strip club fall into the chasm created when the embassy imploded and disappear from view.

“Holy shit,” Jeff said squinting in the rain storm.

Melvin turned around and saw smoke rise from the pit and felt a weight lift from his chest. “Are you ok?” Melvin yelled over the wind and rain.

“No, I’m fucked up pretty bad,” Jeff replied.

“Where does it hurt?” Melvin asked.

“My hip, I ran into the juice bar full speed and hit the counter top. And I think my neck and back of my arms are burned.”

“I fell on a chair,” Melvin yelled over the wind.

“What’s so bad about that?” Jeff asked.

“It was upside down, the chair leg hit me in the jaw. I think I lost a tooth.”

“We better get further away from the club, no telling if there’s a gas line or tunnel under the parking lot.”

Just then a huge explosion blasted from the smoldering pit where the club once stood and shot some large burning debris into the air. Jeff watched the burning pile of rubble arch and fly in his direction knowing full well he was unable to move out of the way. He closed his eyes and covered his head with his arm and waited for the worst. Then it all went black.

Jeff woke sitting in the rear passenger seat of a Bell 407 Air Ambulance with Melvin strapped to the only stretcher. The helicopter was not designed to take two patients, but with the severity of injuries they were both strapped in for the ride to the critical access hospital ninety miles away. Jeff had an IV in his right arm and a shoulder belt holding him to his chair. Melvin looked dead.

“What’s going on?” Jeff asked in a daze.

“Taking you to the hospital,” the male flight nurse replied. “Don’t try to move, that IV was a bitch to get started.”

“What’s wrong with Melvin?” Jeff asked short of breath.

“Not sure,” the nurse replied.

“Is he dead?” Jeff asked.

“No, the EKG shows some V fib, but nothing out of the ordinary considering what you two have been through.”

“V fib? Is that bad?”

“I can be if it gets out of control, we have everything in place in case that happens.”

“You know CPR?” Jeff asked almost intoxicated.

“Yes, I know CPR,” the nurse replied.

“What are you sticking in my arm?” Jeff asked looking at the IV bottle hanging from the roof of the helicopter.

“Pain killer, some electrolytes and mostly water,” the nurse replied.

“I’m allergic to Morphine,” Jeff said in a daze.

“How allergic?” the nurse asked.

“On a scale of one to ten with one being…what are we talking about?”

The helicopter shifted in the brutal wind of the storm that took over and surrounded the club before it imploded into the ground. Melvin rolled back and forth on the stretcher under the tight straps with his head secured with a cervical collar.

The nurse called on the radio to the hospital and relayed the morphine allergy and Jeff’s reaction to the IV. A moment later the nurse signed off the radio and wrote down instructions on a note pad.

“What did he say?” Jeff asked.

“He said to monitor you,” the nurse replied checking the IV.

“What if I die?” Jeff mumbled.

“We gave you a small dose, you should be fine. If you need more pain medication, I have something else we can use. Are you allergic to any other medications?”

Jeff tried to feel his lips with his tongue while he thought. “Penicillin gives me hives.”

The nurse wrote down that Penicillin gives Jeff hives next to the morphine allergy. “Anything else?”