Pink Butterfly (30 page)

Dolores presses the call button again and this time whispers for Wanda to get out to the office. She gets no reply. Dolores looks at her monitoring screen to find Wanda in the jail section and can’t find her anywhere. In a panic, she steps back to the door to the jail section and unlocks it, peers inside and hears the shower way in the back. “Holy fuck,” she says to herself realizing Wanda was in the shower and couldn’t hear her no matter how hard she tried. Leaving the dispatch area was not an option and without a way to contact Wanda, it was only a matter of time before Langley came back and found out what was going on. Wanda wasn’t allowed to leave the building without a deputy to monitor the jail.

Taking a deep breath, Dolores tried to think of something, anything. The last thing she needed was a fight between her boss and his wife on her shift. Especially if Wanda spilled the beans that she was covering for her.

Then Langley stepped back around the corner with the vase of flowers still in his hand. “She’s not back there, is she in the jail?” he asked pointing towards that part of the building.

Looking at the camera monitors, Dolores shook her head no.

With a look of confusion, Langley made a motion for Dolores to let him into the dispatch area. She buzzed the door and stepped inside setting down his vase. “She’s not in the jail, not in the kitchen so where the hell is she? Taking a shit?” Langley asked. “When’s the last time you saw her?”

“About twenty minutes ago,” Dolores replied.

“Where?”

“In the hallway, I had to go to the bathroom so I don’t know where she went exactly,” Dolores lied.

“I’ll give her a few minutes in case she’s in the can,” Langley said sitting down in an office chair. “Did you know today is her birthday?” he asked.

“Yeah, she told me.”

“Can you believe how old we’re getting?” the sheriff asked with a smile.

“Yeah, time flies by so fast,” Dolores replied dripping sweat down her neck. “Is it hot in here?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s always hot in this room. So close to the heating unit in the jail.” Then the sheriff heard a noise he instantly recognized. The sound of water running though the pipes. “Is that the shower?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Dolores lied.

Langley looked at his watch and realized it was shower time for the inmates and that the sound he was hearing was the water running through the pipes. He knew the jailor had to be present during showers so now he was sure Wanda was in the jail working. It was then he remembered there were no camera’s in that area for privacy. “Shit, she’s doing showers,” he said with a smile. “No wonder we couldn’t find her.”

Dolores faked a smile and agreed.

“I’m going back there to surprise her, take her the flowers,” the sheriff said with an evil smile.

“Have fun,” Dolores replied and buzzed the door to let the sheriff into the jail section.

Langley took the vase of flowers into the hallway and walked past the cells towards the showers in the back. He tiptoed so his wife wouldn’t hear him coming but soon realized she was nowhere to be found. He could hear the sound of the shower, but that was it. “Who was watching the inmates?” he thought in his inner monologue.

Now in a panic, he started to worry if there were any other inmates loose in the jail. But first he had to find out who was in the shower. With a pull of the shower curtain, Sheriff George Langley gazed upon inmate Melvin Skankmeyer fucking Wanda in the shower in a modified doggy style position.

Without saying a word, Langley dropped the vase on the floor shattering the glass into shards that scattered along the shower room floor. He leaned over before Melvin could react, picked up a shard and cut off Melvin’s nuts and tossed them at Wanda’s head. Melvin turned yelling only to get a shard of glass shoved into his chest. Repeatedly, the sheriff stabbed Melvin over and over until he lie on the floor on top of Wanda who was cowering naked covered in blood.

Melvin looked up at the sheriff with a glaze in his eye and Melvin’s chest began to open like a mouth. Then it closed as Melvin weakened.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Langley asked yelling at Wanda.

She had no answer, only the sound of the shower could be heard.

“He’s a fucking inmate for God’s sake!”

Again she said nothing. She was terrified of her husband, standing over her with a glass shard in his hand.

Melvin rolled over and clunked onto the concrete gurgling. His chest opened again but he wasn’t conscious. Looking into Melvin’s chest, Langley saw the potato heart and furled his brow. “What the hell is that?” he asked. “Is he some sort of fucking alien?”

Wanda leaned over and looked into Melvin’s chest and held back throwing up.

“You were fucking that?” Langley asked in disgust. “What is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t know he was a freak!” Wanda replied.

Langley bend down and pulled Melvin’s chest apart. The heart wasn’t beating, but Melvin was still conscious enough to look back at the sheriff and blink once or twice. Without saying a word, the sheriff stabbed Melvin’s potato heart with the glass shard and twisted. Melvin didn’t budge.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked yelling.

“He’s a freak!” Langley replied.

Wanda didn’t argue back realizing that Melvin was indeed a freak. A freak with a chest that opened on its own and a heart that looked like a potato that didn’t beat.

“He was raping me,” Wanda said back to her husband.

“Sure he was,” Langley replied. “I could tell by the smile on your face how much he was raping you.”

“Honestly, I took him back for his shower and he forced me into the stall and had his way with me.”

“Then why are your clothes neatly stacked on the table?” Langley asked.

Later, Melvin Skankmeyer joined Jeff Delgado on the other side, the side of the dead, both with nothing to do. They both sat on a park bench enjoying the sunshine and warm summer breeze.

Jeff had a smirk on his face.

“What?” Melvin asked tossing a crumb to a pigeon.

“You didn’t last long,” Jeff replied.

“Don’t get all smart ass on me. At least I went out with style.”

“Hell, I invented the shower nut sack chop. I want royalties from the sheriff for ripping off my idea.”

“Have you met that guy here yet? The guy whose nuts you chopped off?” Melvin asked looking around.

“I know where he lives, I try to stay away if you know what I mean.”

“Why? You’re dead. You can’t get any deader. And what if he chopped your nuts off in return? What are you going to do with them? It’s not like you can make babies here.”

“That’s a good point, why do we still have nuts? I would think after you died, you’d become some sort of unisex eunuch or something.”

“Don’t get me going on that one, none of this makes sense. Things happen just because they happen. There doesn’t have to be a reason for everything.”

“Maybe my nuts are just for show?” Jeff asked.

“Let me kick you in them and let me know,” Melvin replied with a smile.

“So you’re telling me we still have sex in the afterlife?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah, I was a bouncer at a strip club before you yanked me back to the world of the living, now they hired someone else.”

“A strip club in the afterlife? What an awesome idea!”

“No, it’s still a bunch of horny men who pay to look at naked women and go home to wives that never put out.”

“Then what’s the difference between this place and where we came from?”

“They serve beer on this side.”

Alicia and her mother sat at the strip club watching the television. In the afterlife, television was just as worthless to watch and brain numbing. Still arguing over her daughter’s choices, Mary Campbell refused to let her daughter dance naked and the two still faced off like a mother hen and chick.

“You’re not wearing that slut outfit and that’s the last word,” Mary snapped.

“Don’t you get it mother? We’re both dead, I have no career to look forward to. So let me have my fun and get off my back!”

“An eternity of bouncing your tits for horny men? I can’t believe I raised you like this,” Mary cried.

“We killed a store clerk in a robbery, what were you thinking then?” Alicia asked.

“That’s in the past, I can’t do anything about it. This is your future. You need to think about that!”

Alicia looked around the room for a clock and saw none. “I don’t think time means the same here as it did before. There is no future, there is no past, there is only right now and we’re in it. Unless someone calls us back to the life we had before, I say party like there’s no tomorrow, and as far as I can tell, there isn’t.”

“You’re right, fuck it, where’s the manager? I’m applying for a job!”

“What manager? I don’t see anyone! Let’s get on the stage!”

With that said, Alicia and Mary stripped off their clothes and danced naked for a room full of empty chairs. It was good practice, it was senior night and Mary would be the star attraction.

Epilogue

A year later, the Pink Butterfly, otherwise known as the Embassy of Labiastan was rebuilt. Although a poor country, the leaders of Labiastan decided that it was important to keep open relations with the United States and maintain a presence there, even if only for entertainment purposes.

Sheriff George Langley and his wife Wanda separated and then divorced after it was realized that Wanda had contracted several sexually transmitted diseases from her lover the truck driver. The sheriff was not prosecuted for the killing of Melvin Skankmeyer due to the fact his wife pleaded rape and the killing was deemed justified. Justified because Melvin was some sort of freak alien with a potato heart and a chest that could rip off your head and chew on it.

In most states, laws were passes banning sex shop employees from freely demonstrating the practical use of the sex toys to customers during business hours, and women in general stopped thinking that blowing themselves up to prove a point was a good idea.

If there is anything that can come from this horrific tale, it would be that stripping in super high heels can lead to you losing your balance and falling on your face which could lead you to being tossed in a dumpster and sent to a landfill. Always wear shoes of a proper height and practice walking in them before taking your clothes off and dancing around a pole.

In the end, we can draw the conclusion that shower sex can be dangerous and if you are going to have sex in the shower, and are male, always wear a metal cup in case someone tries to cut off your balls and toss them at the woman you’re fucking. Sex for sex sake is ok, but keep your pecker out of where it doesn’t belong because no law is going to keep you from a pissed off knife wielding jealous lover.

End.

If you enjoyed reading my book why not send me a quick message via the Feedback link on my obooko.com download page? I will be delighted to hear from you.

This book is dedicated to my best friend Todd Liesenfeld who inspired the scene in the strip club where the lead character was “bounced” for getting a face full of stripper crotch. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, but three months before he passed, he gave me an idea that sparked this book.

For that, I dedicate this work to him. Todd passed before I finished this book and never had a chance to read any of what he inspired, but I’m glad we had the time to spend together. Maybe in a way, it will allow Todd to live forever.

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