Private Emotions – Appointments (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (21 page)

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion as he took my nipple into his mouth and lightly bit it. He followed that up by doing the same thing to the other one and then started his journey in a more southerly direction. His tongue found my belly button and delved into it making me feel a sensation that cascaded towards my crotch. My juices were already bubbling to the surface and a wetness had developed along my slit that lead to my willing hole.

“Oh god yes, let me feel your tongue inside me, Ethan.”

“In time, Emily, in time.” He had made it all the way down to my shaven mound and was licking all around but not actually making contact with my clit. He purposely disregarded this area and instead traveled down my leg with his tongue. He licked the bottom of my feet and I watched as he sucked each individual toe. He kept focused on gauging my reaction the whole time.

He then traveled up the other leg and slowly circled my hardened bud without actually taking it into his mouth. I was mad with desire and was begging him with my eyes to stop teasing me and get to the main course. He ignored my pleas and pulled me into a hot kiss that left me gasping for breath. It was only when I had my eyes closed that his thumb penetrated my interior and I let out a breath of air that exploded from my lungs.

He wasn’t even naked yet and I tried in vain to reach for his shirt, but he gently moved my hand away to continue what he was doing. This man was a gentle lover and apparently had knowledge about the female form that even I didn’t know about.

“Emily, Emily...” With those words he dove between my legs and pushed his tongue into me, which only made me grab onto his hair and give it a forceful pull. He moaned inside of me and the vibration of that moan combined with his tongue sliding in and out of me made me explode with an orgasm that had me seeing everything in pretty little colors.

This climax only served as a prelude to several more that made their presence known as he thoroughly devoured me with not only his lips, but his eyes as well.

I pushed him away and said, “Enough, you’ve got to stop, or I’m going to pass out.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” During my explosive finales he had taken the time to remove his shirt. He revealed a manly chest with just enough hair on his body to make him look rugged and appealing at the same time. I ran my fingers down his chest making my way to his beltline. I moved to reciprocate what he already did for me but he held me back with his hands and pushed me back onto the bed. He spread my legs wide and put them over his shoulders as he began to rub his erection against me.

He used the head of his cock to rub circles on my most sensitive area. Lubrication from his pre-cum was making his progress easier and he literally had me clawing at the bed waiting for him to give me what I wanted. I felt the tip of him pressing against my entrance and then it disappeared inside me, along with the rest of him.

Oh yes, this is what sex should be all about. His thoughts were only on me as his cock began to move inside me. He could somehow tell what kind of strokes pleasured me the most and soon had me scratching at his back with my nails in complete bliss. His strokes were alternating between fast and deep ones, to more slow and shallow ones, so I didn’t quite know where he was coming from. With each passing moment, I was sinking deeper and deeper into Ethan’s vortex. My juices sprayed its hotness along his length but he just kept going until I was a puddle of my previous self.

He finally came after almost two hours of some of the best sex that I’d ever experienced. “Now that’s what I call ‘Cherry Obliteration’, Ethan! I could definitely get used to this.” I said, still panting from his performance.

As his breathing slowed, he cradled my head from behind while he kissed me lightly at the same time. I felt so loved and so safe...but that was all about to end abruptly. I wasn’t expecting what he said next.

“You were amazing but I still think that you resist your feelings. Em, there is so much that I can show you but you have to be open to exploring the possibilities.”

I stared at him blankly as I was not sure what he was trying to say. “Show me? Exploring the possibilities? I don’t understand ...”

“Emily, your friends thought I could be of service, you know, to show you how a wonderful woman like you deserves to be treated. At first, I had just done it as a favor to Mark, but now, Emily, you make me ...”

“What!” I interrupted angrily.

He paused briefly, trying to find the right words that would help me understand the situation. “If you can get past the fact that this was a setup, I believe that...”

“Am I such a lost cause that my best friends decided that I am incapable of finding someone on my own? I know that I have much to learn but ...”

I could not finish my sentence. I was so angry and hurt. “So this is what the argument was all about the night that we all had dinner? Who gets to be right about Emily’s sexual experience?” I felt betrayed by my friends, and most of all, by Ethan.

“No, no Emily, you have it all wrong...that’s not...”

I felt myself choking back the tears that were about to flood my face and did not want Ethan to see how much of an impact he had on me. I felt like I was going to explode from the pressure that was building up inside of me. I was so enraged that I could hardly speak. I whispered, “How could you do this to me, Ethan?”

“Emily...”

“Please, Ethan ... just go.”

“Emily I...”

“Eth...” My voice was barely audible, it shook with so much emotion that I couldn’t say another word. I turned my face away from him indicating that the conversation was over.

He got up in silence and quickly got dressed. I kept my eyes fixed on the flames of candles in the opposite direction to him. I did not want him to see the anguished expression on my face.

As I heard the front door close behind the man, who only seconds ago made my entire body respond to his every gaze, his every word, his every touch...I released the flood gates and cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up at midday the following morning and decided to take a bath rather than a shower. Thank god for the weekend. I was still so mad at how they had all plotted behind my back so I tried to rationalize that they were just being good friends to deal with the anger. They had inadvertently found me a potential soul mate, so maybe I should not be upset but I couldn’t help how I truly felt. The humiliation pierced me too deeply.

I stepped into the warm water and allowed it to engulf my body like a security blanket. I felt as if that feeling was snatched from me to satisfy the requirements of a cruel sport, a sport in which I provided the entertainment.

I continued to have a wrestling match of emotions in my head. What if Ethan was one of the good ones and I threw it all away because of my own insecurities? ...The same insecurities that continued to imprison me. Should I care how we met, or just trust fate that we did?

I could not get his words out of my head. What did he mean by, ‘there is so much I can show you’, and what did, ‘exploring the possibilities’, meant?

Ronnie had said the same thing to me some time ago and even though I knew I could fall for this man, the idea of actually losing control to someone else was still giving me a feeling of dread. I had no idea what other things he could teach me. Could this be just another step in this journey I was on? What if Ethan was the man to show me things that had previously been foreign to me?

The sound of the phone ringing pierced my thoughts and I sank lower into the bath so that the water covered my ears. I was not in the mood to speak to anyone when I was still trying to figure out how I felt about everything.

I got out of the bath about an hour later, disconnected the phone and curled up into bed with a book to take my mind off the situation. I would deal with reality tomorrow.

I woke up midmorning on Sunday feeling more alone than I had felt in a long time. I had a taste of what it felt like to be in the perfect relationship, with the perfect man, and now it had been ripped away from me, leaving me once again flat on my face picking up the pieces.

I still was not ready to talk to anyone. I needed to stay in my misery and self-pity longer because these were the only emotions that felt genuine to me. I had a quick shower, made a cup of coffee and snuggled back into bed with my book.

I woke up early the following morning to start my journey to work because I could not afford to lose my job as well. I would just keep my head down and work non-stop until the end of the day.

As I was leaving my apartment, I saw a note that was slipped under the door, during what had to be the early hours of Monday morning as I did not remember seeing anything before going to bed.

‘Emily. At least give me the opportunity to explain and if you never want to see me again after that then I will understand. Ethan’

I crumbled the note, threw it in the trash and left for work.

I spent the next couple of evenings after work visiting Kelly. She was getting thinner by the minute and she was now completely bald. My heart broke into a million pieces every time I saw her.

We chatted for a while until she drifted off to sleep, all the while never letting go of her doll friend, Zoey. I looked at her while she slept and wondered just how much longer she actually had. Here I was, wasting time being angry with friends who cared enough about me to become involved in my life, while a little girl named, Kelly, had almost no time left. She was one of so many that would have their lives cut short by cancer, or any of the many illnesses out there.

I gave Kelly a gentle kiss on her forehead and left. My heart felt like it was chained underwater and no amount of resistance would make a difference. Kelly was slipping away. I had no control over that but I did have control over the situation with my best friends, and Ethan.

Kelly’s situation had put things into perspective for me. I had to give my friends, and Ethan, the benefit of the doubt. Their intentions were honorable, even though I did not appreciate how they went about it.

As I drove into the car park of my apartment building I began to feel better about my situation. I walked into the kitchen, made myself a cup of coffee and turned on some upbeat music that always put me in a good mood. I surfed the Internet for a while and sent off some emails to friends that were long overdue.

I decided that it was time to step back into reality so I reconnected the phone. It rang almost immediately after I placed the receiver onto the phone base.

“Emily? It’s, Ethan...don’t hang up...I have been trying to reach you all week. I phoned and knocked, but no one answered.”

The sound of his voice made me instantly moist and I felt tingles all over my body. This was getting ridiculous. Even after what he did I still couldn’t help losing control. Shit, shit. SHIT!

“How did you get my number?”

“Your number registered on my phone from your one-ring call the other night remember? Look, Em, I would really like to meet up with you to explain things and then you can decide what is best for you, even if that means never seeing me again. Can you meet me at Au Chanté tomorrow tonight at around seven?”