Private Emotions – Appointments (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (18 page)

I lifted my leg slightly, reached down to guide him in and felt the head push through and into my silky interior. His hands were playing a symphony on my nipples and that sensation traveled to my lower region where he was now slipping and sliding amongst the sheets. The headboard was banging against the wall as he fucked me with a wild abandon that I felt all the way to my toes.

“Emily, oh god, Emily! You feel fucking amazing.”

“Yes Ethan, you know just what to do to me. Yes, yes, yesssssssss.” This time my climax took me by surprise and I felt him ride along with me, not making any move to cum inside me yet. He continued to churn away at my g-spot and I was seeing all the colors of the rainbow dance before me. I clamped down on him repeatedly until he moaned into my ear and I felt his cock uncork and flowed freely within my grasp. Just when I thought he was done, he slipped out and then disappeared below the covers.

“Oh, fuck, meeeeee.” His mouth and tongue went right to work stimulating and bringing to life an orgasm that was hidden but was now on its way to the surface. His fingers joined his tongue and with that combination I went over the edge and didn’t know if I would ever come back. It was a whirlwind of emotions and sensations that wracked my body from head to toe. I lost count how many times he orally satisfied me and I was a shell of my former self by the time he emerged from below the sheets. I whispered with the last bit of strength that I had left, “Fuck, Ethan. That certainly was, Cherry Pop.”

He smiled at my comment but then his expression slowly changed and he gazed straight into my eyes as if he was looking at my soul. “Emily, I want you to know just how special you are to me and how much I am enjoying our time together. You are nothing like what I was expecting, in fact you are so much more.” He kissed my forehead and then my eyelids, before wrapping me up in his strong, manly arms. A faint whisper of his cologne permeated the air around me. I was too exhausted and couldn’t move or talk for some time. I now trusted this man with my body but I just didn’t know if I could trust him with my heart. I guess only time will be the judge of that.

Chapter Nine
Kelly’s Secret

Barry and Maria had become one of my best friends as a couple and I was worried about what Barry had found on one of Maria’s breasts. A lump wasn’t something to be trifled with. Maria needed to get it looked at and find out what it was so that it wouldn’t weigh heavy on her mind. Barry took my advice and told her what he had found while he was in the shower with her that morning and she had immediately visited the hospital for tests.

It was going to take a few days for the results to come in and we were all waiting on pins and needles for the phone call to come.

After a couple of days, I received a text. That was a bit unusual for me as most of my friends either called me directly or communicated via the Internet. I immediately checked it and it read:

‘Emily, the hospital has the results. Can you go with me? I know it’s short notice but I don’t want to go alone and don’t want to worry Barry. Just call or text me back with your answer. Maria.’

I couldn’t exactly say no to such a plea from a friend. I called her back and told her that I would meet her at her place in half an hour and I would drive her over to the hospital. I could tell in her voice that she was terrified but which woman wouldn’t be considering the circumstances. I wondered if it made me a bad person to thank god that it wasn’t me, or was I just being human?

I drove to her place and on my way I called my boss and told her that I would be late getting to work. My boss wasn’t the easiest person to get along with but when things mattered the most, she could be trusted to stretch the rules just a little bit.

“Emily, you’ve been a godsend to me from the moment you started and I can’t see why I can’t give you some leeway once in a while. Just don’t make a habit of this and get back to work as soon as you can.”

“No worries, I’ll finish up what I need to do and will be back before you know it.”

“That’s good to hear. Given the amount of work that is waiting for you to finish, I do need you to be at your best. You know that it’s you I trust to get things done around here and we both know that it’s you that I’m going to give the business to when I retire but that day isn’t today.”

She yammered on for a few more minutes and then I had to shut her down as I was just arriving at Maria’s doorstep. “Yes, I understand and promise to be back as quickly as I can. Thanks again. Bye, Michelle.”

Maria was standing at the curb waiting for me to arrive. She was twitching her feet and playing with her hands. She looked so nervous and vulnerable standing there. All I wanted to do was give her a big hug but I thought that in a situation like this, the worst thing to do was to get all sentimental. I felt that a positive outlook on the situation was the best thing that I could do for her now.

She got in and sat in silence while I drove. I could tell from her body language that she wasn’t in any mood for small talk. If I were in her situation I would have felt the same so I said nothing and allowed her to lose herself in her thoughts. It was a twenty minute journey and in all that time she never uttered a word. There was one time that she looked at me with fear and tears in her eyes but she just turned back to the window before breaking down.

“I...I really appreciate this, Emily, and it just goes to show what kind of friend you are. Barry was right to bring you to us and now I don’t know what I would do without you here.”

“Don’t worry, you still don’t know if anything is really wrong so just wait for what the doctor tells you and then we can all take it from there. Regardless of the outcome I will be there for you, surely you know that by now.” She grabbed me in the parking lot of the hospital, hugged me and held me to her for comfort and reassurance that everything was going to be fine. I hugged her tightly to confirm that I meant what I said about being there for her.

We walked hand in hand to the waiting room and took our seats to wait for our turn to be called in. Maria stared at the ground in silence and I could see the nervousness in her expression. It looked like all the blood had been drained from her face and her lips were tightly pressed together. I reached out, held her hand and gave it a squeeze of reassurance. Words were never sufficient in a situation like this. I hoped to never find myself having to face something like this but life always had a way of testing us.

We had to sit there for a few minutes before Maria’s name was called. I immediately got up to go with her but she said, “I do appreciate everything that you’ve done but if you don’t mind, I think I am going to go in there alone.”

“Whatever you want, Maria, just know that I am here when you need me.” We hugged one last time and the nurse escorted her to the back room. I sat there looking at the magazines but could not seem to quiet my mind. The thought of Maria’s situation and others like hers started to consume me. I got up to stretch my legs and took a walk along the wing of the cancer ward as it was a new extension from the left exit of the waiting room.

The people I saw with shaved heads and frail bodies were depressing and made me feel like I was living in my own little bubble where nothing bad could enter. This was a common everyday occurrence and I had blocked it out since the death of my father. It was then and there that I decided that doing something good would help with my progress and touch the life of someone else at the same time.

I went over to the volunteer station and asked for a form to fill in. The receptionist was more than happy to show me the ropes. I was standing there filling in the form when I got a cold chill, like someone was walking on my grave.
I turned around and saw a brief glimpse of some kid walking the other way. She had fine hair in patches on her head and at that moment she turned around and I saw her face. If there was a hole in front of me I swore that I would have fallen in.

It was my little redhead, ice-cream girl from the park. Oh god, it was Kelly! It was Kelly...it was Kelly that I was seeing walking down the hall. No, how could this be possible? I felt like I was trapped in the middle of a nightmare, only it wasn’t a nightmare, it was real, and Kelly was in it.

“Kelly, Kelly, it’s me, Emily.” She raised her head slowly to look up at me like it was taking all her energy just to move it and then her face turned from a sour disposition to one of recognition. I went to her and her arms came open to greet me and we hugged. I could see the look of nausea on her face. It all made sense now why I thought that she looked frail when we first met and even more pale when we met the other time at the grocer’s. Whatever cancer she had was taking its toll. The chemotherapy that she was now under was sapping her strength. She looked even thinner and more ill now.

“Emily, I am so happy to see you.” She smiled softly. Even through the strain of it all she still mustered a smile for me.

“Kelly, I did not know that you were ill.” I had to swallow hard to clear the lump that was forming in my throat. “Your parents didn’t tell me a thing but I wish that you did. Let me help you back to your room and we can get better acquainted along the way.” I didn’t want to push her so I let her take her own time to get back to her room. Julia and Scott were waiting in Kelly’s room for her and were both relieved and surprised to see me there.

Julia spoke first, “Emily, what the devil are you doing here?”

“I came with a friend. I’m just waiting for her to come out from her appointment and that’s when I saw Kelly and couldn’t believe my eyes.” Kelly had crawled into her bed and had fallen fast asleep from the exhaustion of what she was going through. She looked like a broken doll but I could see the fight in her and how hard she tried to put on a brave face. Scott and Julia motioned for me to join them outside the room and I followed them out without making any noise to disturb Kelly.

Scott said, “Emily, I don’t know how you found out about this but we are both glad that you did. Kelly has been talking about you nonstop and now that you’re here, maybe it will boost her spirits. Just, so you know what you’re getting into, Kelly doesn’t have long and the doctors are saying before the end of the year. It’s not a lot of time but it’s more than what we could hope for. Her prognosis was terminal from almost the beginning.”

“Our little girl has a lot of strength but there’s just so much fight left in her. We can both see that she is losing the battle but she just won’t give up without a fight.” Kelly was tugging at my heartstrings and even though I met her only a short time ago, I had grown quite fond of her.

“Julia, if you don’t mind me asking...how old is Kelly?”

“She is seven years old but with her illness she looks more like five. The strain of it has made it difficult for her to put on any weight.”

Kelly was stirring in the room and I returned to see her clasping an old dolly that was falling apart at the seams. “Will you visit me tomorrow Emily? I would really love to see you again.” I couldn’t deny this girl one thing and I was more than capable of coming to visit during lunches, before work, and even after work. It would be taxing, but she was well worth it. I had no reason to complain because Kelly was the one who didn’t have enough time. How cruel fate could sometimes be. Why a seven year old girl? Why Kelly? I had dozens of questions in my mind but like so many others, they were the type of questions that no one had the answers to, at least not in my lifetime.

“I’ll be here Kelly and I just might have a present for you when I come back.” I knew I shouldn’t be promising her anything but I just couldn’t help it when I saw her face shine with anticipation of my returning to see her.

Julia and Scott gave the hospital permission for me to visit Kelly whenever I wanted as they could see my genuine concern for her. I hugged them both and promised that I would visit Kelly as much as I could. “If there is anything that I can do then please just call me.” I gave them a piece of paper that had my phone number and email address.

“Thanks Emily and here is our contact number.” Julia called my cell so that a miss call with her number registered on my phone.

Walking back to the waiting room, I was mulling everything that happened over in my head when I bumped into Maria. Fuck, I really wasn’t looking forward to more bad news. Her tears told me that things weren’t good and I took her hand and held it firm to show my solidarity for what she was going through.

“Emily, the results were benign and I don’t have cancer.” Her glee was a little intoxicating but only lessened by what I learned about Kelly.

“That’s great, Maria, and I bet that Barry will be over the moon with the news. Not everyone is as fortunate as you are to get such good news.”

“He was the first one I called after finding out and he is going to take me out to dinner and paint the town. You’re more than welcome to join us because I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.” Although I was genuinely happy for my friend, I just couldn’t find the energy to celebrate anything but I couldn’t tell her the real reason without bringing her down with me.

“I can’t tonight because my boss is riding me to finish my work after hours. Tell Barry that I am glad that things worked out and that I will be in touch. You go out and have a great time and just remember that life is fragile and you should enjoy it like it’s your last day on earth.” I was starting to choke up with the emotion due to the impending loss. Maria must’ve taken it as I was happy for her news and that was how it was going to stay, until I was ready to talk about it.

As promised the next day I returned to the hospital to see Kelly. My feet felt like they were encased in concrete and I had trouble going through the doors. Each step required more and more effort. Pain and death lingered in these halls and I wasn’t sure if I could push myself through it. There was an uneasy chill in the atmosphere and the smell of the cleaning solutions stung my nose. That hospital smell always made me feel uneasy. At that moment, I thought of Kelly and all that she must be going through. This place may be as familiar to her as home, perhaps even more so. I forced my feet to move forward no matter how much I didn’t want to. I knew that the apprehension I felt was a dot in comparison to the agony that Kelly must be facing on a daily basis.