Promise Me (21 page)

Somehow I didn’t believe her. There was a chance Sara had done something to piss her off, but most likely she was just irritated that she had to engage in conversation with me.

“Well, she loves you and the other sisters,” I continued, hoping I could make her realize that I wasn’t a terrible person. “She talks about you all the time and how happy she is that she joined your sorority.”

“That’s great,” Alyssa said, softening only a touch, probably because I’d complimented her. “Which house are you in again?”

“Oh, I’m not in a sorority.”

“Because you couldn’t get into one?”

“Alyssa!” Jack chastised her.

“What?” she questioned innocently, turning to look at him as I internally rolled my eyes.

There was no way I was going to win her over. She’d already made up her mind about me. I’d always disliked jealous girls and their quickness to take their irritation out on another woman when the real concern usually stemmed from the fact that they didn’t trust their boyfriend. I’d run into the same issue with my lab partner senior year of high school, and then I’d seen it a few times with some of the guys I’d worked with at Chili’s. Their girlfriends would stare unwarranted daggers at me when they’d come in to eat. In most cases, I wouldn’t have touched their boyfriends with a ten-foot pole – even if I hadn’t been dating Max at the time.

“That was mean,” Jack told Alyssa.

“I actually didn’t take offense to it,” I told him, only because I wanted to look like the bigger person. The truth was, you couldn’t have paid me to be in a sorority, but I wasn’t going to say that. I refused to stoop to Alyssa’s level. “I didn’t rush. Sara and I just moved here from Indiana, and I’m a junior, so I didn’t really see the point.”

“Oh, well, you’re totally missing out,” Alyssa told me. “But of course they’re not for everyone. Only the best girls get in.”

Which obviously meant that in her eyes I wasn’t one of those girls.

“That’s good to know,” I told her, playing her game just enough to pacify her. “It probably wouldn’t be my thing anyway. I’m pretty focused on school and work right now.”

“Sounds fun,” she said sarcastically, and then she turned to Jack. “I have to go. I’m going to be late for class. I’ll call you later.”

“I’d rather you come over later,” he said softly.

Alyssa’s sullen expression morphed into a small smile as he said that. “Yeah, okay. I can do that. Will you be done studying around eleven?”

Jack nodded, and I was suddenly aware that I was witnessing a somewhat intimate moment between them as Alyssa leaned down and kissed him.

“Love you, babe.”

“Love you too,” he murmured. “See you later.”

She hopped off of his lap and glanced over her shoulder at me. “Bye Kat.”

“It’s Kate,” I corrected her, knowing she’d intentionally called me the wrong name.

“Sorry,” she said, not sounding at all apologetic.

“That’s okay. It happens.” And then, just because I knew it would irritate her I said, “I guess I’ll see you later.”

She made a face as she noncommittally said, “I guess.”

“I think we’re going to be best friends,” I mused out loud as soon as she was out of earshot, my tone thick with sarcasm.

“I’m sorry about that,” Jack said quickly. “She’s not always welcoming to new people.”

“It’s okay,” I told him, even though it wasn’t. Of course, I’d learned long ago not to let small people bother me. I found it much more fun to goad them. “How long have you been together?”

“A little over a year.”

“That’s great,” I said, lying through my teeth, because I knew Jack could do so much better than Alyssa. I barely knew her, but from what I’d just witnessed, I didn’t see all that much about her that was redeeming.

“She’s a sweet girl,” Jack said, almost like he was trying to convince me.

I knew it really wasn’t my place to voice my opinion, and as long as he wasn’t also trying to convince himself, I figured it was better to just let it go. He probably saw a different side of her than she’d ever show me anyway.

“She doesn’t know who I am, does she?” I questioned, intentionally changing the subject.

I didn’t need to go down a road where he tried to justify how great his girlfriend was. I already knew I didn’t like her, and that probably wasn’t going to change, regardless of all the great things he might tell me about her.

Jack shook his head. “No, she doesn’t. And I’m not exactly sure how to tell her.”

“Because she’d be upset to know that we have history?”

Of course she would.

“No, it’s not that,” he said, and it honestly felt like he believed that. “It’s just that she doesn’t really know about my past. She thinks I’ve lived in Texas my whole life, so I’d have a hard time explaining how my childhood best friend is from Indiana.”

That actually surprised me. I’d have figured the girl he loved would know everything about him.

“Does she know about your parents?”

Jack hesitated before he said, “No, she doesn’t. She thinks they died in a car accident. No one outside of my family knows the truth about them, and it’s not something I ever plan to share. It’s in the past, where it should be.”

“Do you really believe that, Jack?”

He let out a huff of air. “Yeah, I do. I’d rather not dredge up the past. It’s easier that way.”

“But you’re lying to everyone.”

I watched his expression darken. “Yeah, well, it’s better than everyone knowing that my father murdered my mother. That’s not exactly a fun party topic.”

“I know it’s not, but aren’t you afraid someone’s going to find out the truth and realize you were lying all this time?”

“No, I’m not. Logan and Gunnar won’t say a word, and anyone else I’ve met since I moved here wouldn’t even know where to start. I don’t have the same last name as my parents, so even if someone were to hear about what John Evans did to his wife eight years ago, it’s going to be really hard for them to make the connection to me.”

“Is that why you changed your name?” I asked him, having wondered what the reason was since I’d found out who he was.

“No,” he said tightly. “It’s not, but it did help sell my story. I just hated having his name. He was a murderer and an asshole, and the last thing I wanted was to be associated with him in any way. So when my Aunt Deena suggested that I change my name, I jumped at the idea.”

“And you chose Jack Kinsley?”

He nodded. “Kinsley is my family’s last name, so that was a no-brainer, and then I changed my middle name to Remington, which was my mother’s maiden name. I thought about changing my first name, but that was harder to do. I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be, and I’d been Johnny my whole life. But when my aunt told me that my mother had always wanted to call me Jack, but my father hadn’t let her, because he narcissistically wanted my name to be identical to his, I decided to keep Jonathan as my legal name and go by Jack.”

“I like it,” I told him, wondering if he needed to hear it.

“Me too,” he said softly.

“Jack, can I ask you something?” I asked hesitantly after several moments of silence had fallen between us.

“Sure,” he said absently.

I wanted to ask if he’d missed me after he moved to Texas. It was what I was dying to know, and our conversation had been cut off as he’d started to tell me what he’d told his aunt about me. Maybe knowing that he’d dreamt about me was enough to know that he
had
missed me, but a part of me needed to hear that aside from the subliminal urges he’d had while he’d been sleeping, he’d also missed me when he was awake.

But the question got lost on my tongue as I wondered what his answer would be and if I’d want to hear it. He’d never called, so a part of me had always wondered if he’d just forgotten about me in the aftermath of everything that had happened. I wasn’t sure what his reasoning would be or if I was ready to know. It might be the exact opposite of what I was hoping for.

“So, you’re a sophomore, right?” I asked, chickening out.

“I am,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

I nodded. “So, did you take time off after high school? Did you go backpacking through Europe or something?”

Jack laughed softly, and then he shook his head. “No, I didn’t take time off after high school. I actually took some time off during seventh grade . . . so much that I ended up having to repeat the grade. It wasn’t as easy getting back into the swing of school and homework after everything that happened. I was in and out for a while until I just stopped going.”

“Right,” I said quickly. “Sorry. That makes sense.”

“No, it’s fine. It actually ended up working out for the best. I made some great friends as a result of getting held back. It was cool, because I hadn’t made any friends my first year at my new school.”

“Wow,” I said as I tried to imagine what that must have been like for him, but I couldn’t.

It was too hard. More than anything I wished I could have been there for him, to be his friend and to help him get through the worst time in his life.

I had no idea what to say next. It felt like the mood of our conversation had plummeted, and we were in desperate need of a subject change

“Hey, so you said you wanted this conversation to be reciprocal,” I said, figuring I’d throw myself out there. “I’ve barely said a word. I was just wondering what you wanted to know about me.”

As soon as I said that, a wide smile stretched across Jack’s face. “So much,” he said sincerely, and I had a feeling the answer to my unasked question from before was ‘yes’.

He had missed me, and the warm feeling that spread through my chest told me how much that meant to me. I’d missed him like crazy, and it was nice to know I wasn’t alone. It still didn’t explain why he’d never called me, but maybe that was a conversation for another day.

“Where should I start?” I asked him.

“Start with the day I left. Just go forward from there. I want to know everything.”

I smiled. “I’m not sure I have that much time. I have to work tonight. Not to mention you’d probably be bored out of your mind hearing what most of my life was like. Or you’ll just be reminded of how fortunate you were to get out of Rally Falls when you did.”

He took a sip of his coffee. “You know, a part of me feels so grateful, but there’s always this guilty feeling in my mind when I think that way. I only have this life because my father’s in jail and my mother’s dead. I hate that. I wish I could have had this life with her in it.”

I nodded. “That would have been really great. Jack, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You said your aunt was so willing to take you in. It sounds like she loved you before she met you, and she cared so much about your mother. Why didn’t your mother ever think of leaving, of going back to Texas to be with her family, of just getting out?”

Jack’s expression hardened, and he looked away. “Partly because she kept hoping my father would get help, that he would get better, and that he would go back to being the man she fell in love with. That’s what she always told me. She’d tell me to be patient with him, to understand that he was sick, and that we needed to support him.” He shook his head. “But what she didn’t realize was that he was never going to get better. He
was
sick, but he loved the
power
he had over us more than he ever loved us. He actually forced her to cut off contact with her family, and he told her if she ever tried to see them, he’d kill her. He did it because he knew if she had an out, there might come a day when she’d use it. He knew he was terrorizing us, and he knew she was only going to put up with so much. I just wished she’d left before it was too late.”

“Me too,” I said softly, wishing I could reach over and squeeze his hand. But a part of me felt like I shouldn’t go there, so I kept my hands to myself.

Jack shifted his gaze to meet mine that was watching him intensely, a sick feeling in my stomach as I relived the terror he’d been describing. Some of it had been so awful, and I remembered wondering why his mother had continued to put up with it.

“Do you know why he killed her?” Jack asked me.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

“Because she was going to leave. She’d packed her bags, and she’d packed mine, and as soon as school got out, we were going to leave. We were going to Texas to live with my Aunt Deena and Uncle Rob. I guess my mom called her after how badly my dad had hurt her that last night you and I were together. She’d finally had enough, and when Aunt Deena told her to come home, she finally said yes. After a decade of dealing with my father’s mood swings and being his punching bag, she was done. We were getting out. But when my dad came home the next morning and saw that, he lost it. He hit her a bunch of times, and then when she tried to run, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and he stabbed her. He stabbed her so many times she never had a chance of surviving. That’s how angry he was. He was such an insufferable bastard.”

“Jack, I’m so sorry,” I said, feeling like my words were empty. There was no way they could carry enough weight to make up for what had happened to him and his mother.