Promise Me (25 page)

“Was it not great for you?”

She shrugged. “It was alright. I guess I had my share of fun when I wasn’t working or studying my ass off, but I felt a void for a long time after you left. And I sort of found myself missing you at the most random times.”

“Like when?” I asked, my heart starting to hammer in my chest.

She shook her head, like she was trying to pull her memories together. “I don’t know. I just remember thinking that you should have been there, that nothing felt whole because you weren’t there to share it with me or something. I know that probably sounds completely lame, and I’m going to apologize in advance for getting all mushy on you. I totally blame the alcohol. I’m not usually like this.”

“It’s okay,” I told her with a smile. “I missed you too.”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did. But I think you already knew that.”

She nodded and shifted her gaze down as she gently swung her legs back and forth. “Yeah, I figured.”

For some reason, she didn’t seem wholly convinced, and I knew it was because I’d never made an effort to get in touch with her. How could I have missed someone so much but never taken the time to call, at least once?

“Kate, my life wasn’t the same without you either,” I told her. “I kept waiting to forget about you, to stop thinking about you, and to leave our friendship in the past, but it never happened. And then I saw you here, and I sort of felt like I’d known all along that I’d see you again. I figure that’s why I couldn’t ever let you go.”

“Me too,” she said as she looked over at me again, her expression solemn. “You know, I almost didn’t come to UT.”

“Yeah?”

That would have been tragic.

“I only applied here because it was where Sara wanted to go. But I ended up getting into a few schools, so I had my choice. UT really wasn’t in the running, since I didn’t want it to feel like I was smothering Sara by following her to college. I’d practically raised her, but she was grown up. I knew she didn’t really need me anymore. And when I got in to UT, she didn’t even react. I assumed she didn’t want me to go.”

“So how did you end up here?”

“Because when I told Sara I was considering going somewhere else, she freaked out. She told me I couldn’t leave her, that she needed me. I knew it wasn’t true, that she was just scared, but I knew then that I didn’t want to leave her either.”

“So are you glad you came?”

“Of course,” she said, her gaze meeting mine. “I mean, it’s a great school, and Austin is a really cool city. Not to mention, this weather is amazing. I love that it’s October, and it’s still nice out. I mean, I’m sitting here in a tank top. That’s awesome.”

I smiled, happy to hear that she loved Texas. It had always felt like home to me, and now that Kate was there, it felt even more like the place I was supposed to be.

“The weather is pretty great here,” I agreed. “Well, not when it’s a hundred and five and humid as hell, but I’ll take that over snow any day.”

“Amen to that,” Kate said as she clinked her beer bottle against mine.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I said, “So, you didn’t mention me.”

“What do you mean?”

“As a reason you’re glad you came here.”

She smiled and leaned into me. “That’s because I assumed it was understood. You’re the best reason I’m glad I came to UT. I figured you knew that.”

“I actually didn’t, but I’m glad to hear it,” I said, and I had to look away or I knew my smile might tell her more than I wanted her to know.

Hell, it was more than I wanted to admit to myself, and I too blamed the alcohol I’d consumed, knowing I’d drank more than usual as I’d been obsessing over Kate all night. She was a bad influence on me.

“I want us to be friends again,” I told her once I’d regained my composure.

“We are friends,” she assured me.

“Not just friends,” I said, correcting myself. “I don’t want to just be friends with you like I am with Cullen or Micah or even Logan.
.
I want us to be friends like we used to be. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, and I want you to do the same. We have so much history, and because of that, I think a part of me has always felt like you were my best friend. Even when we were apart, I still thought of you that way.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “Always. I want that again.”

“Jack, you and I both know Alyssa isn’t going to be okay with that. She’s not my biggest fan.”

“Then she’ll just have to get over it, because this is a deal-breaker for me. I want you in my life, Kate. You’re too important to me, and so is she, but I won’t choose.”

Kate nodded. “I’d never ask you to.”

Yeah, but Alyssa might,
I thought to myself.

“I appreciate that,” I said instead, not wanting to throw Lys under the bus.

She had her reasons for being skeptical of Kate, and based on some of the things I’d been thinking tonight, I couldn’t really blame her.

“I’m sorry I said those things about her,” Kate told me. “I’m sure she’s a nice person when you get to know her – and when she’s not under the impression that you’re trying to steal her boyfriend.”

I laughed. “You aren’t trying to steal anything. We both know that.”

I didn’t think for a second that Kate had any impure thoughts where I was concerned. Every insane thing I was thinking was completely one-sided – and probably a product of my insecurities where she was concerned. The fear of rejection or dismissal was so great that it was overshadowing my simple desire to have her in my life. That was all I truly wanted.

“Tell
her
that,” Kate scoffed.

“I will. I’ll do it when I tell her that you’re going to be a permanent fixture in my life.”

“Oh yeah? And how are you going to explain that?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly after hesitating for several seconds, because I really had no idea how I was going to broach that subject with Lys. I didn’t see an easy way to do it without exposing my past – and I really didn’t want to do that. “Are you going to tell Justin about us?”

Kate looked at me like I was crazy. “Jack, I’ve only been out with him once, and we made plans for a second date – which I might cancel now that I know he’s a frat guy. Talk about a deal breaker.”

“
I’m
a frat guy,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, so? I’m not looking to date you.”

This was true.

“Good, because I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole,” I teased her.

“Your loss,” she said as she drained her beer. Then she hopped off the tailgate. “I’m going to get another beer. You want one?”

“Sure,” I told her.

Then, just because I could, I watched her walk away from me, knowing what a lie I’d just told her. Had I been single, there might not have been much that would have kept me away from her. So maybe it was good that I wasn’t available. Kate and I had the chance to have a great friendship, and I could only see it growing stronger as we got to know each other better. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin that.

Chapter Twelve

Kate

“Hey blondie, can you grab me another beer?” Pete asked me as I took the orders of the college students who were at the table across from Jack and his friends.

God, I hated Pete. He was such an ass.

“Pete, don’t be an ass,” I heard Jack tell him, and I smiled to myself.

At least Jack tried to keep him in check – even if Pete never listened to him.

“I’m not being an ass,” he defended loudly. “I’m out of beer, and as my waitress, her job is to get me another one. I was just asking for what I want.”

“It was your tone, dude,” Logan told him. “Kate’s cool, and she’s a good waitress. I’m sure as soon as she finishes taking that order, she’ll bring you your beer.”

“I should have already had my beer,” Pete grumbled.

Such an ass.

“Shut up, Pete,” Jack told him.

Thankfully, the beer I’d already ordered for Pete arrived a few seconds later, one of the other waitresses having grabbed it and brought it over. Everyone knew what a jerk he could be, so they all pitched in to help out in an effort to keep the bitching to a minimum. I appreciated that, since Jack and his friends always requested to sit in my section on Sundays.

“Thanks Michelle,” I called over my shoulder. She smiled knowingly at me, and I turned back to my table, addressing the last person who needed to order. “What can I get for you?”

I wrote down what he wanted and told them it would be out in about thirty minutes, since we were in the thick of it on an NFL Sunday. Then I went to ring the order in a few feet away.

“Hey,” Jack said, suddenly materializing next to my computer screen.

“Hey,” I said, looking up for the briefest of seconds to give him a cursory smile. I was slammed, and as much as I would have loved to hang out and talk to him, I just didn’t have time.

“How’s your day going?”

“Busy,” I said as I punched buttons on the computer screen. “What’s up?”

“What time do you get off?”

“Six. Why?”

“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with Charlie and me. We’re grabbing dinner at Olive Garden, because he’s kind of obsessed with that place, and since I remember you also like Olive Garden, I figured you might be interested.”

I gave him a confused looked. “When have we ever eaten at Olive Garden – or even talked about it?”

Jack smiled, but it wasn’t his easy-going smile. There was a tightness to it that I wasn’t sure how to decipher. “My eleventh birthday.”

It took me a few seconds to remember what he was talking about, because growing up we hadn’t exactly had money to go out to dinner, let alone to places as fancy as Olive Garden, but then it came to me. Geez, how could I forget. It should have been a fun night. It was Jack’s birthday. His dad wasn’t around, and after eating peanut butter and jelly for the three days straight, I’d been excited to have some real food. But the whole experience had been overshadowed by the fresh bruise on Jack’s mother’s cheek.

She’d tried to pretend it wasn’t there, and she’d even attempted to cover it with make-up, but it was still visible. So was the fact that she didn’t eat much because the right side of her jaw hurt. She tried to play it off, but Jack and I both knew what was going on as she cut her food into small bites and only chewed on one side of her mouth. Once when Jack had been staring at her in concern, she’d looked up and attempted to smile at him, but she couldn’t hold it longer than a few seconds before she’d winced. Jack had looked down at his plate from pretty much then on, and he’d only picked at the rest of his dinner.

I was fairly sure it had been a memory I’d blocked out, because it had been an unsettling experience at the time. Of course I didn’t want to bring that up now. I could already tell Jack remembered the intimate details of that night, and I knew some things were better left unsaid.

“Right. Yeah, totally,” I told him, trying to keep my tone light. “I liked their spaghetti and meatballs.”

He smiled. “So does Charlie. He gets that every time we go.”

Just the thought of red sauce and pasta noodles made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, and I was starving. Dinner at Olive Garden sounded sort of perfect.

“That sounds fun,” I told him. “But I don’t want to interfere with your bro time.”

“You won’t be interfering,” Jack told me quickly. “Besides, I want you to meet him. He’s a really cool kid. I think you’ll like him.”

“Alright, then I’m in. I’d love to meet him.”

Jack smiled even wider, and I tried to pretend it didn’t have an effect on me. The truth was, the more time I spent around him, the more I was drawn to him – especially when he looked at me like that. I told myself it was because of our history, but the rational side of me knew it was more than that. He was gorgeous and charming and funny, and I pretty much liked everything about him – expect the fact that he had a girlfriend. I hated that part. And when he was inviting me to hang out and telling me he wanted to be my best friend and getting all irritated that his friends were flirting with me, it sent me some serious mixed messages.

I knew it was just him being protective and flirty, because that’s what he did. It was in his nature to be kind and jovial and to flash that coy little smile at whoever he was talking to. And where I was concerned, he apparently felt like he had to protect me from the bad things in the world, which included any guy who had the slightest potential to hurt me. It was sweet, and I knew
that
stemmed from our past, but it was really hard not to read into the little comments and smiles, and even the way he seemed to be more playful with me than anyone else.

I didn’t think there was anything real there. We were just friends, but sometimes I had a hard time remembering that, and I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small part of me that wished he was single – and not only because I didn’t like his girlfriend. I’d probably feel the same way if he was dating the sweetest girl on the planet. I’d just feel some level of remorse about my feelings. With Alyssa, I couldn’t always bring myself to care.

But even with Jack standing there looking all sexy and enticing and smiling at me, I didn’t lose sight of the fact that she existed. That alone was enough to remind me that he and I would only ever be friends – best friends potentially – but just friends nonetheless. We couldn’t be more. End of story.

“Cool, that’s awesome,” Jack said as I wrapped up the order I’d been inputting. “Charlie’s going to be so stoked to meet you.”

“Really? He won’t think I’m just some old lady?”

Jack laughed, and it warmed my insides as I chastised myself for letting him affect me that way – again.

“No way! He’s going to think you’re totally hot.”

“Oh God,” I said, my face getting hot as I thought about an eleven year-old having a crush on me – and the fact that Jack possibly thought I was ‘totally hot’ too. He was the one who’d said it.

“And he’ll probably try to flirt with you,” Jack warned me.

“Well, that won’t be awkward.”

“It’ll be funny,” he assured me. “Charlie’s a cute kid. You’ll like him, and I’ll keep him in check if he pushes things too far. Like I told you before, he’s eleven going on forty, so he has a tendency to say things that will blow your mind. Just know that whatever he says, he probably heard on a daytime talk show, and most likely, he doesn’t even know what it means.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to this more and more,” I said sarcastically. “Keep talking.”

Jack just smiled. “I figured you’d feel that way. I’ll swing by your place at six-thirty?”

“Sounds good.”

He winked at me. “It’s a date then.”

Or just friends hanging out
– at least that’s what I insisted to myself as he walked back to his table, and I tried to pretend that a part of me didn’t wish he’d asked me out for real.

* * *

True to his word, Jack swung by my apartment at six-thirty. Sara still wasn’t home from her sorority retreat, but she’d texted to say she’d be back around eight. I figured I could tell her about Jack then, since I’d yet to fill her in on everything that had happened with us – mostly because I’d been waiting for Jack to come around. I hadn’t wanted to bring Sara into the mix when he was in a seemingly fragile state, but now that we seemed to be okay, and he was good, I wanted to tell her who he really was. I knew she wouldn’t be able to believe he was back in our lives.

Jack was his normal self when he picked me up, cheerful and chatty, but his mood seemed to shift as we drove to Charlie’s house. The further we got from campus, the more reserved he became, so I talked about my day, regaling him with stories from work, even though it wasn’t the most exciting topic. It was just better than silence. And as we drove into a not-so-nice area of Austin, I watched Jack’s hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“Charlie doesn’t really live in a great part of town,” he explained, glancing over at me.

“I can see that,” I said, noticing the worn chain-link fences, unkempt lawns, and rundown businesses. Not to mention the number of pawns shops, payday loan places, and tattoo parlors we’d passed in the last few minutes.

“It’s not really an unsafe neighborhood – especially where he and his mom live. It’s just not very nice.”

“Well, it’s good that they live in a safe area,” I told him, and then I smiled, figuring it might put him at ease. “Although it doesn’t look that bad compared to some parts of Rally Falls.”

Jack seemed to loosen his grip on the steering wheel as he most likely had flashbacks to the crappy area we’d both called home.

“I didn’t even think about that,” he said, glancing over at me. “Most of my friends would probably turn up their noses at this neighborhood. I forget that you’re different, and things like this don’t affect you.”

“It’s the product of growing up poor, I suppose. If we were driving through a rich neighborhood, I’d probably have my nose pressed to the glass ogling all the sprawling mansions. This actually feels kind of normal to me.”

Jack smiled. “Charlie’s going to think you’re really cool.”

I returned his smile. “Well, that’s what I was aiming for, obviously. I figured you wouldn’t truly accept me into your life unless I was okay in Charlie’s eyes.”

Jack laughed and said sarcastically, “Yeah, because that’s the rigorous test I put all my friends through.”

“No?”

“Nah, I usually go solo when I hang with Charlie. He’s never met any of my friends – except Logan, but that’s just because Aunt Deena wanted to meet him. When my aunt and uncle were in town last spring, I brought Charlie out to dinner with us.”

“So Alyssa hasn’t met him?” I asked cautiously, not sure I wanted to even bring her up after the hateful things I’d said the last time we’d talked about her.

“She has, but just once,” Jack said. “It wasn’t a great experience. Lys didn’t really know what to do with him. She’s not exactly a kid person.

“And you’d categorize me as a kid person?” I questioned, not sure why he thought that.

“You raised Sara,” he said pointedly. “You’ve always been good with kids.”

“Because I had to be,” I scoffed. “I didn’t really have a choice.”

He shook his head like he didn’t agree with me. “You did have a choice – at least in how you responded to the fact that you had to raise her. You could have complained about her tagging along all the time and having to take care of her, but you never did, because at the heart of it, you’re a really good person. It’s just who you are. You get along with everyone, and you’re completely adaptable. You’re one of those people who can be thrown into any situation, and you’ll make the most of it – or you’ll die trying.”

Wow.
I had no idea how to even respond to that. Jack obviously saw so much more in me than I’d ever seen in myself, but if that was his perception, who was I to argue.

“Besides,” he continued, “Lys would be terrified to even drive down this street. She’d also never want to eat at a place like Olive Garden, and she’d be bored the whole time, because Charlie’s an eleven year-old boy, and he doesn’t have an opinion about clothes, make-up, or hair products. I’d spend the whole night worrying that she was going to start bitching and hurt his feelings because he wanted to talk about superheroes and basketball. It wouldn’t be worth it.”

So many things wanted to come out of my mouth in that moment, but I held them all back. I’d already said my peace about Alyssa, and when I had, Jack had told me that I didn’t know her like he did. Still, it had to mean something if everything I’d experienced,
and
everything he’d told me about her painted her in a bad light.

“I’ll bet Charlie loves hanging out with you,” I said instead of what I really wanted to say. “I mean, not only are you kind of cool, but he gets to ride in this swanky truck.”

It was dark inside the cab, but I could see the sheepish expression on Jack’s face as I said that – which wasn’t what I’d intended. I’d been aiming for teasing.

“It’s not that nice,” he mumbled.

Um, it was gorgeous. It was probably a fifty-thousand dollar truck, so either he was embarrassed or he was just unaware. Knowing Jack, though, it was likely the former.