Raw Desire (18 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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He bent his head and licked her very gently until she started to relax. “Need to get you so that you can take all the loving me and Jackson want to give you.” Then he set his teeth on her clit, and she grabbed at his hair so hard his eyes watered. He backed off, leaving her gasping.
“Hands and knees, honey.”
He waited as she turned over and presented him with the sweet curve of her ass. He folded the belt in two and tapped her right ass cheek. “You enjoyed the thought of me alone in that bed thinking about what you and Jackson were getting up to, didn't you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He raised the leather a little higher and spanked her a little harder. “I was hard all week after that.” Her hands fisted on the covers as he kept using the leather on her. He watched her carefully, aware of every twitch and moan, bringing her to a pitch where she was gasping his name with every precise blow.
“Spread your legs a little wider.”
He rubbed the leather in the thick wetness between her legs, back and forth, back and forth until she was arching her ass as if seeking his cock. He waited until she stilled and then used the leather belt right against her sex.
“Rob, oh God . . .” She screamed his name again, and the sound went straight to his groin. He smacked her pussy again, this time using the flat of his hand. “If you liked that, tell me to do it again.”
“Please, do it.” Her voice was muffled against the sheets, but he heard her just fine and obliged, a little harder this time. She started to climax, and he grabbed her hips and pulled her back, impaling her on his shaft, felt the strength of her climax squeezing him like a fist. He hammered into her again, aware that she hadn't stopped coming and that he was gritting his teeth against the inevitable climax that was gathering in his balls.
With a groan, he held her tight and released into her. He had no energy left to hold himself up, and he fell on top of her, pushing her flat against the covers. After a while he rolled over, bringing her with him. Sunlight filtered through the partially closed drapes, and he stared up at the yellowing popcorn ceiling. She felt so right there, against his steadily pumping heart, that he didn't want to leave.
His eyes started to close, and he threaded his fingers through her long hair, only to groan and bring them both to an upright position.
“Damn it, we've got to get back. Jackson will need his truck.”
Ally stayed curled in his lap, her breathing even, her face tranquil as if she hadn't quite come down yet from the place he'd sent her, the place where her sexual needs were met by his dominance. He kissed the top of her head and carried her into the small bathroom.
“Ally, we need to wash up.”
“Okay.”
She smiled up at him, and the trust in her gray eyes made him feel half proud and half ashamed. He'd given her what she wanted in bed. Could he ever give her what she wanted in life? He wasn't even sure if he knew anymore. She'd seemed set on getting out of town as fast as possible, and he hadn't said anything to persuade her otherwise. But could he survive it if she left him again?
He turned on the faucets with more force than they needed, and water cascaded into the shallow peach sink. Ally bent forward to splash the water over her face. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't push her into making decisions, and he intended to keep to that. Forcing her hand wouldn't achieve what he wanted, but would he ever find the right words to make her stay?
 
Ally glanced across at Rob as he drove the truck into the deepening sunlight. He hadn't said much more to her than the basic necessities. Within twenty minutes, they'd showered, put on their clothes, and gotten back in the truck to continue the journey. Ally stifled a yawn behind her hand, and Rob glanced at her for the first time.
“You want to go stretch out on the backseat?”
“No, I'm fine. It isn't far now.”
“Yeah, about another five minutes.”
Ally gathered her resolve. “Are you okay, Rob?”
“Sure.”
“You seem a bit quiet.”
“I'm tired, honey. I've been traveling all day.”
“And then you had to fuck me as well.”
“That was a pleasure.”
“Really?”
“Sure.”
Ally fought a sigh. Men were so hard to have a conversation with. Rob's lovemaking overwhelmed her, turned her into a needy, sex-obsessed woman, and she loved it. Loved what he could do to her with his hands, his mouth, his cock, his leather belt . . . She squirmed in her seat. Did he even care?
Rob stole a glance at her. “Are you sore?”
“A little.”
“But you're okay with it.”
“Sure.”
“Now you sound like me.”
Ally smiled and looked out the window as the outskirts of Spring Falls appeared. It wasn't even that late, about six according to the clock in the cab. “You can drop me off at the corner.”
“Hell, no. I'll take you to your door.”
“Even if Jane sees you?”
He patted her knee. “I'm done with hiding. If anyone wants to talk to me about my relationship with you, I'll meet them head-on.”
Ally bit down hard on her lip. “We don't have a relationship. You told me that. You said it was all about sex and revenge.”
He turned the corner into her street, his keen gaze fixed on the houses. When he shut the engine off, the silence was deafening. He got out of the cab and came around to help her out. His expression was difficult to read, the grip on her arm more definite. He towed her around the side of the house and approached the back door, his key already out. She went past him into the kitchen and stood in the middle, her arms crossed over her breasts.
He swung toward her and then stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It was never just about the sex, Ally. You're the one who said you were going to run off again, not me. What kind of fool would want to get involved with a woman who has already made up her mind to leave?”
 
After Rob left, Ally couldn't settle and found herself standing in the dining room staring at her mother's desk. Something made her pick up the last of the journals and take them through to her bedroom. Even though she'd understood where Rob was coming from, his words had still hurt her. It was as if he still didn't understand her at all.
She stared at the matte-black face of the journal. But was she any better? She'd steadfastly refused to believe that her mother could ever change, but from what everyone in Spring Falls was trying to tell her, maybe Ruth had. Reading a few of the entries in Ruth's journal, painful as it was sure to be, might at least help solve that mystery once and for all. She opened the book in the middle and settled down to read. The entry was dated about three years previously.
 
I'm wondering what's happened to Ally. She seems to have disappeared. If I try and contact her, I know she won't answer me, and that's my fault not hers. I'm worried, though, because in her pictures she's been looking thinner and thinner and her eyes . . . her eyes look as dead as mine used to. I'm afraid she might be harming herself. And it's my fault. It's all my fault.
 
The words blurred and Ally realized she was crying. How dare Ruth be concerned about her? It
was
her mom's fault, and she had no business making Ally feel bad as well. Ally swiped at the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand and threw the book onto the floor.
She reached for a tissue, blew her nose, and stared at the journal. But it wasn't all her mom's fault, was it? The choices she'd made were her own, not Ruth's, and she'd paid for them just as Ruth had.
“At least I didn't have a kid or anyone who needed me,” she whispered. But was that true? She'd let her friends and her business acquaintances down. Wasn't that just as selfish? Maybe not, but it hadn't been very nice.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, am I turning into my mom after all?” she murmured, and then found herself smiling at her own bad rhyme. Ally leaned over and picked up the book. When exactly had Ruth changed? Despite her tiredness, she knew it would be impossible to sleep. She replaced the book on the bedside table and went back to check out the desk in the dining room.
She switched on the lamp at the side of the desk and took a deep breath before starting to sort through the journals. They started when Ally was quite young but were very patchy and incomplete. Ally found a journal that covered the period from about two years after she'd left, and she sat down on the dusty carpet to read.
 
It's stupid. Ally's gone and I feel like there's nothing left in my world. I thought it would be easier not having her around criticizing me all the time, but the weird thing is I miss it. At least she cared enough to try, even though I didn't like to hear it.
I can't even say it's her fault I drink anymore either. I just like to drink. I'm going to talk to Dr. Shalvis tomorrow. Things have got to change.
 
When Ally closed the book, her eyes were stinging again. How weird that Ruth's words echoed Ally's earlier ones. It seemed that her departure had eventually led to Ruth deciding to quit alcohol and drugs for good. It hadn't been an instant moment of revelation, but a gradual progression of her mother realizing that without Ally's presence, there was no one who really loved her.
Ally stuffed the journal back into the drawer and shut it with a bang. As if Ruth had ever cared that Ally had loved her . . . She'd never seemed to notice. And she'd stopped loving Ruth anyway . . . hadn't she?
Too exhausted to think anymore, Ally made her way to bed. Despite everything, she knew she was going to keep on reading. Her mother's words might open up old wounds, but she'd learned that sometimes that needed to happen in order for a person to move on. She was trying the same thing with Rob and Jackson, wasn't she? Ally halted at the dining room door and looked back at the darkened room. If she'd replied to Ruth's messages, would she and her mother have found peace? Pain seized her heart. It was too late to find out. Her mother was dead.
16
J
ackson rang the front doorbell and waited expectantly for Ally to appear. It was only ten in the morning, but she'd told him she'd be back from the diner and ready for him. Rob was already at work and, judging from the expression on his face over breakfast earlier, wasn't in a very good mood. It wasn't hard to figure out why. Getting involved with Ally again was never going to be easy.
Ally opened the door, and Jackson smiled at her. She wore her usual outfit of shorts and a skimpy top, both covered in drips of white paint. “Hey. You ready to take some of that stuff to the dump?”
“Absolutely. Come through to the kitchen,” Ally said. “I don't have to go back to work until nine, so we have plenty of time to get it done.”
Jackson followed her into the kitchen and inhaled the welcome smell of coffee. Ally held up a mug. “You want some?”
“Sure. Thanks.” He accepted the mug and leaned back against the countertop. Taking his first really good look at Ally, he frowned. “You okay, Ally?”
She sighed. “I'm not sure. This town seems to bring out the worst in me.”
He felt himself tensing. She wasn't going to leave again, was she? “What's up?”
She touched a black book that lay open on the table. “I've been reading my mom's diary.”
He grimaced. “That bad, is it?”
“Worse. She turned out to be a nice person after all.”
“And what's wrong with that?”
She turned away from him, her shoulder hunched. “Don't you get it, Jackson? She became a nicer person after I left, which seems to indicate that I was the problem all along.”
“I don't think that's true.” He regarded her closely. “Your leaving probably shocked her into making some major changes.”
“I don't know what to think anymore. She started volunteering for stuff, attending AA meetings, making friends. . . .” Ally tucked her hair behind her ear and dumped her coffee mug in the sink. “Everything's different here now—my mom, you, Rob. . . .”
“And you.” She met his gaze, her gray eyes startled. “Don't forget, you've changed, too, Ally. We all have the ability to start again and make things right.”
“Even my mom.”
“Yeah, even her.”
Ally sighed. “I've put up with a shitload of attitude from half this town, and I've held my tongue and just let them have their say.”
“I know.”
She put her hands on her hips. “And?”
“And you must've known that was part of the risk of coming back.”
“It doesn't exactly encourage me to stay, though.”
“You've thought about that?” Jackson asked carefully.
She avoided his gaze and fiddled with the coffeepot. “As you said, I'm entitled to change my mind as well.”
He let out a slow breath. “I'd like you to stay.”
“Really?”
Her skeptical tone stung. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Surely it would be better for you if I left again so that you could bring Rob around to your way of thinking?”
“It wouldn't work, Ally. I tried that once before, remember.” He heard the bitterness in his voice and winced.
“We both tried to get away from him, didn't we?” Ally paused. “And we both came back because we realized he wasn't going to come after us.”
Jackson stared at her. “I never thought of it like that before, but you're right.”
“Do you think Rob wants me to stay?”
“You'd have to ask him.”
Ally came around the table and kissed his cheek. “You're a good friend to us both, Jackson. I suppose the only person I can ask that question to is Rob.”
“He probably thinks you're going to leave because that's what you told him.”
“This is all such a mess.” Ally put Ruth's diary in one of the drawers and headed for the door. “Let's move some boxes.”
Jackson was quite happy to follow her out. They'd come way too close to the heart of the problem for his comfort. Rob definitely needed to talk to Ally and straighten stuff out. But would he do it when he'd been kicked in the teeth once already? Rob liked to fix stuff for everyone; but it seemed that he struggled to know how to fix himself.
Jackson was no longer sure either. He felt like his teenage self again, stuck between Ally's and Rob's emotions, always trying to make things right for them—usually at his own expense. No wonder he'd gotten resentful, but what had that achieved? Ally had left Rob, and nothing had been the same again.
On that depressing thought, Jackson opened the front door and then went to his flatbed truck. Ally was right—a bit of hard physical labor lugging boxes was much better than thinking about anything.
 
By the time they got back, Jackson was sweating in his black T-shirt and Ally's face was flushed. They'd shifted about fifty boxes from the dining room and the spare bedroom to the recycling facility, and the sun was setting behind the garage. Jackson parked in the driveway, and Ally opened the front door.
“I think we deserve a cold drink after all that work, don't you?”
Jackson wiped at the sweat on his forehead. “We sure do.”
Ally was walking ahead of him and he almost fell over her when she abruptly stopped by the open door of the dining room. “What the hell happened in here?”
Jackson looked over her shoulder and went still. Someone had ransacked the few remaining boxes and opened up all the drawers in the desk. The contents spilled out onto the floor. He grabbed Ally's arm and stopped her from walking into the room.
“Don't go any farther. I'm going to call Rob.”
He found his cell phone and punched in Rob's number. “Hey, Ally's house has been broken into.”
He snapped the phone shut and nodded at Ally. “He's on his way. Now stay behind me and I'll check out the rest of the place.”
He moved cautiously down the central hallway, checked the bedrooms, and ended up in the kitchen. Nothing had been disturbed there. He rattled the back door, but it was locked.
“I don't see any signs of a break-in. Did we leave the front door unlocked or something?”
Ally shook her head. “We didn't. I lived in New York for years. I would never forget to lock up.”
“And I'm a cop.” He studied the unbroken glass panels of the door. “So how did the person—or persons—get in?”
The doorbell rang and Ally went to answer it. Jackson heard Rob's voice and then Jeff's, the other deputy. He walked up to meet them. Ally stood in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest, an anxious expression on her face as Rob carefully entered the dining room.
“Do you think anything has been stolen, Ally?”
“I can't tell yet.”
“How about from the desk? Did you keep any financial stuff in there?”
“My mom did, but I took all the important stuff out of there, and I've been keeping it with me.”
He beckoned her into the room. “Anything else that appears to be missing or different?”
“It's hard to tell when we only just moved all those boxes out. But I don't remember leaving the computer on. Why didn't they steal that?”
“Maybe you and Jackson interrupted them.”
Rob crouched down to survey the mess and touched one of the black books. “What are these? Account books?”
“They're my mother's journals.” Ally squinted at the handwriting. “At least I think that's what they are. I haven't been through them all yet.”
Rob caught Jackson's eye and nodded. “How does the rest of the house look?”
Jackson answered him. “I can't see any other damage, and none of the windows or doors were open either.”
Rob frowned. “Hey, Jeff, can you go and grab the paperwork from my car? I might as well get started on it.”
Ally shifted her stance to allow Jeff past her. “Aren't you going to call in your forensic team and a detective?”
Jackson smoothed a hand down her arm. “This isn't New York. We don't have those kinds of resources in this small town. It's basically up to us to investigate everything, and to be honest, there's not a lot we can do here.”
Ally looked up at him. “Why would anyone want to do this?”
Rob stood up and walked toward them. “Let's have something to drink and talk this through in the kitchen.”
 
Ally tore her gaze away from the pile of books and papers and went into the kitchen. Despite her shaking hands, she fixed a fresh pot of coffee and retrieved some ice from the freezer to add to the water glasses. Rob and Jackson sat at the table, their expressions grim as they waited for Jeff to return.
“Let me do that. You've had a shock.”
Ally almost jumped when Rob took the glasses out of her hands.
“Why would anyone want to break into my house and go through my stuff, Rob?” she whispered.
He put the glasses on the table and squeezed her shoulder. “Give me a minute to write up this report, and then I'll be more than happy to answer all your questions.”
Ally took a seat, aware that Rob had his professional face on and that she would get nothing more out of him until he'd completed his job to his satisfaction. That was one thing she'd always both admired and hated about him—his ability to compartmentalize his life.
Of course, it took more than a minute to survey the damage and write the preliminary report. Ally stayed put at the table as the three officers divided up the tasks and got on with it.
A knock at the back door made her jump. Jackson rose to answer the door, and Jane came in, her face flushed. She ignored Jackson and came to stand in front of Ally. “I came by to retrieve my pie dish. What's going on? Are you okay?”
“Someone broke into my house.”
Jane gasped and pressed her hand to her chest. “Oh my word. Have you called Rob?”
“He's here with half the sheriff's department.”
Jane glanced across at Jackson. “I can see that.” She hesitated. “I won't keep you, then, but can you just show me where my pie dish is?”
Ally pointed at one of the cupboards on the wall. “It's in there, Jane. I'm sorry I didn't get it back to you sooner.”
“It's not a problem, Ally, honestly.” Jane opened the cupboard and went up on tiptoe to try and reach the dish. Without a word, Jackson came up behind her, plucked the pie dish from the shelf, and handed it to Jane with a flourish. She continued to ignore him, her mouth pinched, her expression outraged. “Thanks, Ally. Let me know if you need any help.”
She shut the kitchen door behind her with a bang.
“You're welcome,” muttered Jackson, and Ally turned to look at him. “You know she only came over to nose around. If I hadn't been here, she would've gone straight into the dining room trying to prove I'd committed a crime.”
“I know.” Ally held her head in her hands. “I'm just glad you were here when I came in. Maybe I should've told Jane that and set her mind at rest.”
Rob came back into the kitchen carrying a clipboard. “That's about it, Ally. Jeff's gone back to cover the office. I need you to read through this and add anything you think might be missing.”
While Ally read and checked the details, Rob helped himself to a mug of coffee and sat down with them at the table. “This doesn't make any sense.”
“What do you mean?”
“It's not like your normal burglary for cash, is it? Nothing appears to have been taken. It's more like whoever it was, was searching for something.”
Ally looked up to find Rob's keen gaze on her. “Like what?”
“You tell me.”
“But I don't know! Maybe it's someone who still thinks there are drugs in the house and doesn't know Mom has passed away.”
“That's a possibility.”
“Why do you sound so skeptical?”
“Because whoever it was had a key, Ally. That puts a whole new slant on things.”
“I don't imagine my mom ever changed the locks, so I suppose it could've been someone from her past. Is that what you are trying to say?”
Rob sighed. “It's a possibility.”
Ally shivered and gripped her coffee mug. “It's as if my coming back has shaken everything up. Someone doesn't want me here, do they?”
Rob's gaze met Jackson's and Ally stiffened.

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