Real Ultimate Power (8 page)

N
ow it's time to take a short little break from the regular hustle and bustle of homework and dogs and stuff, and reflect on your life AND get pumped up. The following script is about a ninja accepting his past and killing people.

 

 

 

The scene opens with a car slamming down the street. Sparks and smoke are flying everywhere and the wheels are covered with blood. (This will give the audience a clue to who's driving it.) The camera will spin around the car and look right at its license plate which says “Death.” This will foreshadow what's gonna happen to some idiot-cry-babies later. As the car speeds down the street, flames are coming out of the pipes and people are so scared—they can't protect themselves, and they are little wimps. Fortunately for nobody, the driver is a ninja. And he's slamming the gas so hard his foot busts the frigg'n floor out of the car, which bounces off the street and hits a family right in the face. Headlines of the family's death and stupidity will be on newspapers flying toward the camera for suspense. As the car rips out chunks of the street, a poor little orphan is standing on some garbage for height and puts his thumb up to “hitchhike.” The ninja sees the poor baby, just standing there like a frigg'n wimp-jerk. And the ninja stops the car, smirks, bites the kid's thumb off, and puts it in a plastic bag in the back seat. Several people see the travesty and start running from the road. They'll be running like retards to make the audience laugh even harder. Then the ninja sees the orphanage where the kid came from. He's pissed. The place is so full of little dummies that the walls are bending. The camera will watch from behind as the ninja's car smashes and explodes right toward the flimsy building. But out of nowhere, the ninja SLAMS on the breaks. And a little baby boy crawls right in front of the car. That's when the ninja will remember his past. Then the ninja approaches the baby, lifts him up, and stuffs him in his mouth like a crazy bird. As the baby goes down his throat, the audience will feel uncomfortable, but they will later hear the ninja screaming, and it's actually the baby inside and then they'll laugh! As the ninja drives right into the orphanage, while screaming with a tiny baby voice, the camera will zoom right into the ninja's eye to see a little tear drop. Then the orphanage EXPLODES, and the orphans fly toward the camera, completely smothering it.

 

 

R
egular people don't know the first or second thing about spotting ninjas. Just wearing black and owning a couple ninja stars doesn't mean someone is a ninja—there's a lot more to it. Fortunately for you, I am going to tell you what to look for, because you never know—a friend, enemy, or even a relative
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might
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be
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one.
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Here are some signs that somebody is a ninja, as well as the REAL Ultimate Test: