Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) (32 page)

“Was that the reason you went home early from the bar?” she asked, tightening her arm around me. I nodded. “Oh, God.” She began shaking her head. “How did I not realize something was wrong? I’m so sorry.”

I lifted my head to her, and she was looking at me like she’d failed me somehow. “It’s okay, you didn’t know. I kept it from you. Besides, it doesn’t matter anymore. We’re done.”

“Has he spoken to you about it?”

“Yeah. He tried apologizing, but I didn’t want to hear it.”

“Are you still not speaking then?”

I shook my head. “Not really. He’s moved on. That’s all there is to it.”

A few moments of silence passed, and then I felt her turn her head toward me. “Did you know Jamie and Marc got into a fight?”

I sat up straight. “What?” I said, shocked. “A fight?” Those two had
never
exchanged angry words, let alone ever had a fight. That I knew of. I knew they’d both been quiet this week. They all had.

“Apparently, Jamie laid into him. The others had to pull them apart.” She winced.

Visions of them both fighting filled me with horror. “Why did they fight?” I asked, not quite understanding why Jamie would have done that. What on earth had Marc done? He was his friend.

Her brows creased and she looked deep in thought. “Marc said it was something to do with you, but he didn’t say what. I always knew there was something between you and Jamie.” She turned to me with a small smile.

Suddenly, Jamie came walking around the corner, and we both stopped talking immediately. “What’s wrong?” He looked at me and then Taylor, alarmed.

“Nothing,” I said evenly, hoping he would go back inside. I didn’t want him seeing me upset over him.

Taylor stood from the wall. “I’ll just go and get us a drink.” She jutted her thumb toward the club, and before I could tell her to stay, she took off.

“Have you been crying?” he asked softly. His eyes darted around my face, and a slight look of guilt washed over him, like he knew it was because of him.

“I just needed some fresh air.” I looked away from him and stared at the wall.

With a heavy sigh, he came closer and took a seat next to me. Surprised, I looked over at him, and when our eyes met, the stab of hurt came back and I felt the tears trying to return. He swallowed deeply and let out another rush of air then angled his body toward me. I could tell he wanted to talk. “That girl from the club….”

Before he could finish his sentence, I jumped down from the wall. We were not talking about
her.
“I don’t want to know.” My voice cracked.

He jumped from the wall too and grabbed my arm, pulling me back. “Please?” he pleaded desperately. “I just need you to listen. Hear me out.”

I didn’t want to stay and listen to him. I hadn’t prepared myself for it.

He continued to stare at me in misery.

Deep down, I knew I couldn’t avoid talking about it this time. So, anxiously, I stayed. Panic rose in my chest. I didn’t know what he was going to tell me. He nodded his head at me, indicating he wanted the answer that I was staying, and he released his hand from me. Silently, I sat back on the wall, bracing myself.

He stood close in front of me, and our eyes were level with each other’s. “I never slept with her. At all, Lauren. I swear.” He started shaking his head. “I’m sorry that I made it look like that. I really am. I just… it wasn’t me. It was… I just… Believe me, please?”

What? I stared at him in utter disbelief.

Silence fell around us. I was in shock. I couldn’t speak.

He clasped his hands together, pressing his knuckles to his mouth. I frowned at him, trying to work out if he was lying to me. Trying to cover up what he did. But he never blinked once. He just continued to look at me. Waiting for an answer.

I couldn’t work out how I felt. Happy? Relieved? Hurt? Angry?

He took a desperate step toward me. “I promise, I didn’t.”

“Then why have you put me through days of hell?” I yelled suddenly, making him flinch.

He thrust out his hands. “I tried to tell you. You wouldn’t listen.”

I started to get angry. He’d went out of his way to show me his intentions and left the club with her. And now he was telling me he didn’t sleep with her? It didn’t make sense.

“I’m so sorry for doing what I did in front of you. I was out of order.” He shook his head slowly again; the remorse on his face was evident.

Remembering the images of them haunted me. I turned away from him. “It’s up to you who you want to be with, Jamie.” I wasn’t his girlfriend; he could do what he wanted. He made that very clear.

“You. It’s you I want to be with,” he said firmly.

I just couldn’t believe him. “Maybe it’s just because I’m the only girl you see regularly. That’s why you feel like that.” I was probably just a convenient release for him that he could get on tap when he wanted.

His expression darkened. “Maybe it’s because my feelings for you are genuine.” His tone lowered in temper.

“You forgot your
feelings
for me when you were all over her.” My voice rose at him.

“It was my
feelings
for you that stopped me doing something stupid.” He glared angrily at me. I could tell his mood was deteriorating.

Silence surrounded us again.

“Why won’t you believe me?” His voice was almost a whisper.

All the things I’d witnessed him doing that night was the very reason I doubted him. Did he think he could tell me the truth and I would forgive him, just like that? “Maybe because you’ve hurt me, Jamie. A lot.” Broken my heart, actually.

His head tilted back, and he let out a long sigh before looking at me again. “Please forgive me, Lauren.” His voice trailed off.

Even though I was relieved he hadn’t slept with her, the heartache he’d put me through making me think that wouldn’t just disappear. I wanted to know what he
did
do with her. “Did you kiss her?” I asked, and waited with baited breath, silently begging him to tell me that he didn’t.

Almost immediately, he shook his head. “I didn’t do anything with her. She tried to kiss me, but I pushed her away.”

I pressed my fingers to the side of my forehead; I was getting a headache. I was emotionally drained.

“I haven’t kissed or slept with anybody since I started… seeing you,” he admitted.

I looked at him, surprised. It was the first time he’d said anything like that, and again, I found a small amount of relief hearing it, but it didn’t excuse his behavior. I wanted to know what I’d done to him to make him do something like that, to purposely hurt me. “Why did you do it then?”

“It was Marc. He started asking me earlier that week why I wasn’t interested in hooking up with any girls. Told me I was losing my touch. It started to mess with my head. I didn’t know what you and me were doing, especially after that night, you know, with your head, and it was slow….” He was referring to the night he’d freaked out. “I think I panicked, and I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t… that into you, despite what I kind of felt. Then, he said it to me again that night at the bar. He was baiting me all night to hook up. I wanted to prove myself, so I did.”

He frowned, clearly disappointed in his bad decision. “I just got hammered so I could numb myself from what I was gonna do with her.” He shook his head. “When I went outside with her, it made me feel sick. I couldn’t do it. She wasn’t you. She tried to kiss me, but I pushed her away, told her to go home. She whacked me across the head.” He rubbed at where she must have hit him, and at the stupidity of the situation, I let out a small laugh. “That’s when I sat and waited for you.” His eyes met mine and the remorse in them was evident again.

Listening to him tell me Marc had started all of this was difficult. Not only had he told Taylor about it,
he
was behind the whole thing. Now I knew what the high-five he tried to give Jamie at the bar signified. Jamie had broken my heart, just to prove to his stupid friend he could still hook up?

He ran his hands roughly over his face. “I’m so sorry, Lauren.”

“Did Marc know you were seeing me?” I asked curiously.

He nodded slowly. “Kind of.”

I shook my head, angry at the nasty piece of work Marc was. He’d really gone down in my estimations. I thought I knew who he was—clearly not. I wanted to question him on why he decided to do that to Jamie. To
me
. I couldn’t really say anything if he didn’t know about Jamie and me. He probably would wonder why Jamie wasn’t getting any action. But the truth was he
did
know. What was his goal, to hurt me? What had I ever done to him? “Some friend he is,” I spat.

“Don’t be angry at him,” he said plainly.

I raised my eyebrows, shocked. Was he really going to stick up for him? “Why?”

“Hey, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have listened to him. He just proved what I told you: I’d hurt you. It’s just something I manage to do. If you hadn’t already noticed on the countless times.” He cocked his head slightly. “A few days later, I got Marc in the cage and beat the shit out of him. I was so pissed at him.” His eyes blazed and he flexed his knuckles. “Never seen Kal move so quick.” He laughed.

I wanted to beat the shit out of Marc too. And Jamie, a little bit….

“He apologized, though. I don’t think he knew….” His sentence trailed off. “Anyway, it’s done now.” He shrugged.

I was angry that he would just let Marc get away with doing something so cruel. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven, and it would take a while before I could.

He fell silent before asking, “Are you leaving because of me?”

My heart sank. “No, Jamie—”

Our attention was suddenly turned to footsteps approaching us. Kal came into view and stopped a few yards away. My stomach tensed. “There you are. Whatcha doin’ out here?” he asked softly.

“Give us a minute.” Jamie lifted his chin to him, but he kept his tone even.

Kal looked between us both, nodded, and then went back toward the club, no questions asked. I wondered what he thought of us both being out here. He always tried to keep Jamie away from me.

“He’ll probably be pissed at you talking to me out here alone,” I mused.

“He knows.” He turned his gaze from the back of Kal to me.

“What do you mean?” I jerked. Kal was the last person I ever wanted to know.

“After that night, I wasn’t… nice.” His eyes drifted over to the parking lot at the side of us. “I didn’t turn up for training, so Kal came over to my house. Things got heated and I told him where to go. Not my finest hour.” He chuckled quietly. “He went straight to Cam’s and demanded he tell him what was wrong with me, so he did.”

I was shocked this whole thing affected him so much he didn’t turn up for training. The last thing I ever wanted was to come in between him and his training. I could imagine Kal being furious, and I wondered if he was angry at me too. If it wasn’t for me, Jamie would probably still be his ‘golden boy’, as Cam jokingly called him.

“Think he knew something was going on before it all came out anyway.” He shrugged.

I wondered what Kal had seen for him to become suspicious. We were always careful

when we were at the club.

“What did he say to you?” I asked curiously hoping they both hadn’t fell out because of it.

“The usual. Was I serious, or just messing around with you. He was quite pissed at first because it was you. Then I think he realized. He didn’t want to know the details, obviously. It was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had with him.”

I nodded. I could understand that. Kal’s relationship with Jamie was different than the ones he had with Leon, Cam, and Marc. They were more like father and son.

“He kept telling me that my head should be on training, my focus should be on fighting.”

“It always was, until
this
happened,” I said to him. He always put his training and fighting first, and I was always happy to let him. I never stood in the way of that, and never would.

“Until
you
happened. I’ve never been so damn distracted.” A grin tugged at one side of his mouth, and my heart surged seeing it. I missed that grin.

“So are you and Kal not good?” I asked warily.

“Nah, we’re fine now.” His eyes fixed on mine and he looked at me in that way he did, which made me want to melt into a puddle. His eyes lowered to my mouth before he looked away and drank the rest of his beer. “Best get back inside. You can’t miss your own party.” He smiled, standing.

We must have been out here for at least an hour, or so it felt. Not wanting to be rude to my party guests, I stood up, and his hand gently caught my wrist. I turned back to him. “Do you forgive me?”

Even though what he did to me was horrible, he hadn’t kissed or slept with her, and I knew he was genuinely sorry for what he’d done. I nodded my answer, and a sigh of relief escaped him. He closed the distance between us, and my world began to spin at his closeness. His familiar scent filled my nostrils, and I yearned to touch him, kiss him, and make up for the lost time. He ran his thumb down my cheek, and my breath faltered. Our lips practically called out for each other.

“C’mon!” Kal’s authoritative voice broke us apart. We both snapped our heads in his direction as he told us I was needed back inside. The knowledge that he found us almost kissing made me recoil inside. I didn’t want him seeing us like that; it felt weird.

Jamie took my hand and we walked behind Kal, rejoining the party, which was still in full swing. A few couples were dancing in the cage. Barefoot, of course. I stifled a giggle and searched around for Taylor. I spotted her talking closely with Marc, who looked like he was re-enacting some comical moment. Girly laughter erupted from her as she curled a strand of silky dark hair around her finger. I didn’t understand her need for being around him. Or maybe I did. Before I got to thinking further about that, Kal did the dreaded thing of getting everybody’s attention, and Jamie left my side to go stand with Cam. The music was turned down, and all of a sudden, all eyes were on me.

Kal gave a lovely heartfelt speech about how they would all miss me and wished me good luck for the future. Jamie’s face intrigued me throughout the speech; a myriad of emotions crossed his face. He went from smiling to chewing the inside of his lip nervously, to almost looking sad. When he realized I was watching him, he instantly dropped it and smiled warmly at me. I wondered what he was thinking.