Reckless Retribution (West Warriors Book 1) (35 page)

I knew I should have, and I will live with that regret forever. “I love him so much, Leon, it scares me. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us when I leave. I don’t want to leave him,” I cried.

He let out a sigh and continued to hold me tightly. “I know, but you’ll figure it out, trust me.”

I hoped so. We
had
to figure it out. I pulled away from him, and sympathetically, he rubbed both my arms with his hands. It didn’t mean the end for us. Unless I’d pushed him too far. And I had a horrible feeling I had.

****

Jamie’s silence was torturous. For days, I’d sent texts apologizing and begging him to ring me, but he never responded. I knew he needed time, but I didn’t have time. I didn’t want to waste any of it. Right now, my time left here was precious, and I wanted to spend the rest of it with him, even if he was still angry at me. I desperately hoped he found it in himself to forgive me, even though deep down I knew I didn’t deserve it. While I waited for him to come to terms with it, I decided it was time I told Dad.

“I’m telling Dad tonight,” I whispered to Taylor, as the professor ran through the graduation day schedule.

She looked at me, alarmed. “Do you want me to come with you?”

I shook my head. “It’s best if I do it alone.” Lord knows what his reaction was going to be.

“What if he…?” She lowered her tone. “What if he goes ballistic?”

“He probably will, but I have no choice. I need to tell him. I can’t just leave.” Although that seemed like the better option.

“Be careful. Call me if you need anything.” She eyed me warily.

“I will,” I said, grateful for her concern. I wondered if I actually had the courage to tell him. Or the courage to actually get on that plane and leave. With every passing day, I felt like I was constantly second-guessing my decision. When I accepted the job, I was in a completely different place than I was in now. All because of Jamie. I’d packed up most of my things weeks ago. Taylor’s parents thankfully loaned me some space in their garage until the Pod arrives to take the stuff down to Texas.

I knew there was little Dad could do in terms of preventing me from going by withholding any of my stuff. There was very little left at home except my clothes; they were the last few things I needed to pack. My savings were safe, including Kal’s generous check I had cashed in, and my ATM card was now at Taylor’s. That, I had to be careful of. I’d gone to great lengths hiding it in my room; I didn’t want it to be found by Dad at the last minute. That would stop me from moving indefinitely.

My flight had been booked almost as soon as I was given my start date, and I had an apartment, the one I’d seen on the internet. It was in a small town called Hopen, where the school was. The principal told me it was a quiet area to live in, and she had even gone down to take a look at it on my behalf, which was amazing. I couldn’t have been more grateful. Happy with her approval, I paid my first month’s rent to secure it. So all that was left was for me to get on the plane. Leave my life behind. Leave Jamie behind. I felt nauseous at the thought of leaving him.

After school, I walked home slower than I ever had in my entire life. I didn’t even take the bus. Anything that would speed up my arrival at home was not going to happen. Not knowing how Dad was going to react plagued me with anxiety. Once I got home, I walked into the front room, where he was sitting watching the news channel, and I took a seat on the couch across the room from him. I figured doing it right away was best.

Setting my purse in my lap, I clutched at the cool leather strap so he couldn’t see my hands shaking. He raised an eyebrow in suspicion at me coming to sit down with him. It was something I never did. “I need to talk to you,” I said quietly. My heart was slamming against my ribcage. He stayed silent and watched me carefully. “About my plans for after graduation.”

His eyes began to wander around the room, and something about his reaction made me wonder if he knew something like this would be coming.

“I’ve been offered a job teaching in Texas for six months,” I continued. I was shaking like a leaf, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give him any indication that I felt weak at this moment in time because he would try to use it against me. I watched him cautiously, looking for some indication that he would jump up and come at me because of the choice I was making. A selfish choice to leave him. Alone. To fend for himself. His shoulders sagged and he exhaled, sitting farther back into his chair, and my breathing eased a little. “It’s just for six months, and then I’ll be back.”

My future plans were in tatters since I didn’t know what was going to happen because of Jamie. I was unsure whether I was going to last six weeks out there, let alone six months. I did worry about the impact it would have on Dad’s health. I worried how he would survive without me. Would he shop for food? Would he spend what little money he’d have on liquor? Would he drink himself to death while I was gone? Horrible scenarios played out in my mind constantly when I thought of leaving him.

He rubbed his hand roughly across the stubble on his chin then clicked the volume back up on the television, and just like that, our conversation was terminated. I was taken aback. No ‘congratulations’ or ‘hell no, you’re not going.’ Just nothing. He acted like he didn’t care. Like I didn’t matter. As if all the years I’d spent looking after him meant nothing. It was sad that he didn’t have one ounce of love for me at all.

I stood from the couch and decided that I didn’t want to hang around in case he suddenly decided he was against the idea—he could be unpredictable like that—so I walked away from him, and he let me. I decided to go and meet Taylor after her last class.

“How did it go then?” Her eyes flitted across my entire body.

I let out a frustrated groan. “Well, that’s the thing. He didn’t react at all.”

“He didn’t say anything? Nothing?” Her face creased in surprise.

“No. He just turned back to the TV. He’ll probably sit and think it through while I’m gone.” I shrugged. I hated that we didn’t have the normal father/daughter relationship most kids had, where he could tell me how he really felt, and I could reassure him.

“Stay at my place tonight. We’ll have a girly night to take your mind off of it, and you can try to convince me as to what the hell you see in Jamie.” She rolled her eyes playfully.

I laughed quietly. It masked the pain I felt hearing his name and the fact I’d devastated him and he still didn’t want to talk to me. A girly night was just what I needed.

She drove us to my house and we went straight to my bedroom, where I packed an overnight bag. Dad was awake, but he didn’t bother us. Stuffing my pajamas into a bag, Taylor caught my eye as she stood still in front of my picture board, grinning to herself. I didn’t need to guess what she was looking at it. It was glaringly obvious. When she eventually came back down to earth and caught me watching her, she tried her best to casually ask if I was taking it to Texas. “I’m not sure.” I’d actually forgotten about it.

“I think you need to take it. It’s full of memories.” She smiled, taking it down from my wall. Holding it out at arm’s length, she gave it a once-over again before slipping it inside a large grocery bag. “Let’s take it with us, so you don’t forget to pack it.” I smiled humorously at her. “What?” She shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. I laughed at her feigned innocence. Tonight, I was getting the dirt on Marc, even if I had to pin her down and force it out of her.

At her house, she had thought of everything for our girly night. We had candy, popcorn, face-masks, and our favorite chick flick DVDs that had us a blubbering mess at the end. We changed into our pajamas then got into her huge queen-sized bed, complete with a hundred pillows that I had to fend off just to climb in.

I finally told her all about Jamie and how we’d grown close. The first time we slept together, and him washing his truck. I described in detail the time he soaped himself, to which even
her
mouth gaped open. “He was so into you.” She laughed before her face turned serious. “Why did you never tell me anything?”

I sighed. “I knew you didn’t like him, and I definitely knew you wouldn’t approve of me dating him or whatever.” She’d made it clear from the moment she met him that she hated him with a passion.

She cocked her head slightly. “I would have understood.”

I gave her a knowing look that she would have disapproved and would have wasted no time in telling me so.

Theatrically, she held her hands out in front of her. “Okay, maybe I would have said something. But if you would have told me just how strong your feelings were for him, I would have understood.”

I should have just told her. It was silly of me to keep it from her. I would have had her there when I needed it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it from you. Guess I was just scared.” I yawned. I didn’t want to tell her any more details, and I definitely didn’t want her to know he still wouldn’t speak to me, so I changed the subject to something that had been bugging me for a while.

“What’s with you and Marc?” I asked curiously. Even though he wasn’t in my good graces at the moment, I still wanted to know why she was always huddled talking with him. Their attraction was definitely mutual. She blushed immediately, and I couldn’t help but grin like a fool at her reaction.

“Nothing.” She waved me off with her hand and pulled the comforter up to her chin.

Do not fob me off, Taylor Carmichael!
“I don’t think so, spill!” I sat upright in her bed and pulled the covers from her face.

She smiled bashfully and fluttered her long eyelashes. “There’s nothing there, honestly. He’s cute, but we’re just friends. Besides, I’m with Jake.”

She added that last part as an afterthought. “I know you’re lying.” I wondered whether this was the end for her and Jake. I didn’t know how I felt about her possibly getting together with Marc after everything he’d done to hurt Jamie and me. But she was certainly attracted to those kinds of guys.

“I’m not, believe me. He texts me occasionally, but that’s it.”

That peaked my curiosity. “Since when did he get your number?”

“After you went in the hospital, he asked for it so he could check up on you. He texted me a few times to see how you were. Now, we just occasionally text each other.” She shrugged like it was no big deal.

As if he wanted to check up on me. This was Marc we were talking about. She was playing me at my own game. Withholding the truth. It humored me to think that Marc had completely fallen for her. He was the ‘love them and leave them’ type, which naturally suited his hard training and fighting schedule, but I was certain that Taylor had finally been the one to bring him to his knees without so much as sleeping with her. Or at least I didn’t think they had. Maybe I wasn’t the only one with secrets? Regardless of the obvious chemistry between them both, there was still Jake, who was very much in the picture, although I hadn’t heard her talk much about him lately. “What does Jake think of that?” I asked, wondering if he was aware of their little conversations.

She gasped. “He doesn’t know, obviously.” She looked at me like I had said the most ridiculous thing ever. I didn’t press her further. She obviously liked Marc a lot; that much was true.

“When I’m gone, are you still going to text and see him?” I asked curiously.

“Probably, I guess.” She picked at the lint on her comforter.

A wicked smile crossed my lips. “You better keep me informed of this little…situation.” I waggled my finger at her.

“There is no
situation
.”

“I’ll get back into town, and you will be married and pregnant by him,” I joked.

She hit me with one of her pillows. “Don’t say that. I will not be.”

We laughed and giggled until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. I had needed this night. I was going to miss her so much.

Thud… thud… thud! “Mommy’s head, stop banging Mommy’s head!” I screamed.

Naughty things came out of his mouth, and Mommy was crying, shouting for me to look away, but I couldn’t. I was too scared to close my eyes, in case he moved and came after me. His hand grew tighter around Mommy’s hair; his knuckles were white. Slowly, he hit Mommy’s head on to the floor again, but this time, she went floppy and didn’t talk to me.

I think she went to sleep.

Sitting up in bed, the pain in my chest made it difficult to breathe. I clutched my chest, trying to calm myself down. I hated it when I had nightmares. They didn’t happen often, but when they did they were horrible and reminded me of my past.

The familiar thudding sound from my nightmare echoed around me again, and I shuddered. Putting my fingers to my ears, I gave them a wiggle. The sound was giving me anxiety, reminding me of a time I wanted to forget. When it happened again, I slowly realized it wasn’t in my head. It was coming from downstairs. I really didn’t want to deal with him right now. I hadn’t slept much again last night, so I wasn’t feeling in the best of moods.

The thudding continued, so I threw my covers back, figuring I best make an appearance before he wrecked the house with whatever destructive mission he was on today. I grabbed my cell from the nightstand; I never left without it, in case I missed Jamie’s call, which never came.

Pushing my dresser across, I sluggishly walked downstairs to the kitchen, and I froze at the mess that greeted me. Every drawer and cupboard door was open, and the contents were spilling onto the floor below. The whole car keys scenario haunted me, and I was instantly on edge. “What are you looking for?” I cringed at the same question I’d asked him last time. Before he put me in the hospital.

“My ATM card.” His head jerked around to me. He pointed a finger in my direction and began walking toward me. “You, you’ve taken it. I knew you were taking things from me. Hiding them….”

I couldn’t believe he was accusing me of stealing from him. My temper spiked. “I’ve got my own money. I haven’t been taking anything from you, so put your finger down.” I glared at him as he moved in front of me. Suddenly, his hands thrust out at the base of my neck, choking me. He harshly pinned me against the wall behind me and the stench of alcohol turned my stomach as he breathed heavily in my face. “Don’t you dare touch me. All I have to do is make one call to Jamie, and he’ll be here in seconds,” I threatened.