Relative Happiness (34 page)

Joss laughed into the phone. One of his clients had just told him a dirty joke. The guy never ran out of them. Joss laughed at that as much as the joke itself.

The girl who answered their phones put her head in his office doorway. She didn't bother him often, so he looked up right away.

“I'm sorry, Mr. MacGregor. Your mother's on line two and she says it's important.”

“Gotta run, Harvey.” Joss hung up and pressed a button.

“Ma?”

“Joss dear?”

“What's wrong?”

“It's your Da.”

“What happened?” This was serious. She never called him at the office.

She sounded like she was crying. “Da broke his hip. He fell on the boat. I knew this would happen.”

“It's all right. I'll be on the first plane home.”

“No dear, don't do that. Your brothers will take care of things. I just wanted you to know.”

“Ma, listen to me. They have their own boats to take care of. Da can't lose his license. I won't allow it. I'll be home as soon as I wrap up things here.”

The sound of relief in her voice was obvious. “Thank you Joss. What would we ever do without you?”

Lexie took Josh out of his car seat. Mom said he didn't have a nap, so she was assured of a good night's sleep. At least she hoped so. Josh ran ahead and scampered up the porch steps.

“Sope. Sope!”

Sophie was mewing inside. Josh hit the front door with his fist as Lexie looked for her keys. She finally unlocked it and he rushed in.

“Just a minute, big guy,” she laughed. “Let Mommy take off your jacket.”

He jumped up and down, in a hurry to give Sophie her supper. Lexie got him unzipped and he took off, pulling his jacket sleeves inside out in his rush to get to the kitchen.

She hollered down the hall. “Don't give her too much, sweetie.”

The phone rang. She grabbed the mail on her way in and shuffled through it as she headed for the phone. Opened the Visa bill. Yuck.

“Hello?”

“Lexie?”

“Yes?”

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Lexie wasn't really listening. She had her ear on the noise in the kitchen. It sounded like Josh was pouring out a whole box of cat chow.

“Sorry, who's this?”

“Adrian.”

She hung up and sat down quickly. The phone rang again and this time the answering machine did the talking.

Beep. “I'm sorry Lexie, I don't want to frighten you. Please let me talk. I know I have no right to call you out of the blue, but I didn't want to just show up at your door. Maybe I should've written, but I was afraid you'd tear it up. This is my only way to reach you. Please Lexie, I need so badly to—” Beep. Message cut off.

It rang again. She waited. Beep. “Please take my phone number.” He gave it to her. “I'll wait for your call. I need to speak with you. That day in Montreal, I thought you were a dream, and then you were gone. I want to explain—” Beep. He didn't call back.

Lexie stared at the ashes in the fireplace.

“Mama!”

She went into the kitchen, cleaned up the cat chow and washed Joshua's hands. Then she put him in his highchair and sliced half a banana into a plastic Bunnykins bowl, to tide him over until she got his supper ready. After all his chicken, fresh peas and sweet potato was gone, up they went for his bath.

When Lexie got him into his pyjamas she cuddled him in the rocking chair by his crib, and picked up the first book she could reach off the floor.

“Let's see, what have we got tonight.” She showed Josh the cover. “
Sleeping Dragons All Around
. This is a really good book, isn't it? You like dragons.”

He nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

She turned the pages. “We'll start with Glump, since he's your favourite.”

Josh nodded again.

“Glump is simply a dimplish, blimpish balloon belly, a slumpish lump, a WIMP of a dragon, with his tail zigzaggin around the room, his chin draggin along the floor, with HICCUPS like no one's heard before. The whole floor shakes but Glump NEVER wakes, so I must tiptoe, tiptoe softly as I pass…”

Halfway through the book, Josh was asleep. Lexie tucked him in, kissed his cheek and closed his door part way. Then she took off her clothes and got in the shower, scrubbing her skin until it hurt. Lexie washed her hair, got out of the tub and put on her red flannel pyjamas with the tiny white hearts. After brushing her teeth, she put down fresh water for Sophie, made sure the doors were locked, the coffee ready to go for the morning and the lights were turned off.

But instead of going to bed, she grabbed her duvet, wrapped herself up in it, sat in the old armchair and dialled Adrian's number.

He picked it up on the first ring.

“Lexie?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. If only you knew how much this means to me.”

“What do you want Adrian?”

“Can I come and see you?”

“When?”

“Now.”

“Where are you?”

“A half an hour away.”

She hung up the phone.

Marlene tapped her on the shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Good gravy, girl! What's the matter with you? You're like a cat on a hot griddle.”

“Marlene, don't sneak up on me. You'll give me a heart attack.”

“Looks like you're about to have one now. You're as flushed as a toilet.”

Even in Lexie's hyper state, she had to respond. “Where do you come up with these revolting sayings of yours?”

“I make them up. It gives me something to do while I put these damn cards back in alphabetical order.”

“Marlene?”

“Yeah?”

“You kill me.”

“I try.”

After dropping Josh off at Mom's, Lexie picked up two bottles of wine and cleaned her house. She had no idea why. She had a bubble bath and took a long time to get ready. She decided she would stay casual. She didn't want him to think it took all evening to get ready, even if it did.

Lexie didn't know what would happen, or what she'd say, but she needed to have everything in order. She needed to be prepared, unlike the last time they laid eyes on each other.

She dialled the phone.

One ring.

“Lexie?”

“I'm here.”

He hung up.

She watched the taxi pull into the driveway. He got out and came up the steps. Her heart pounded as she opened the door.

He looked wonderful. His hair was shorter, but still gorgeous and he'd filled out a little. He seemed more at ease, more sure of himself. He looked so good, and smelled even better. He wore jeans and a white shirt underneath his brown suede jacket. She wanted to hold him so badly she didn't dare move.

He stopped and caught his breath. “Oh, Lexie. How beautiful you look. It's so good to see you again.” He gave her that familiar smile, the one she dreamed of night after night. “If only you knew how much I wanted this moment to happen.”

She couldn't speak at first. She finally whispered, “Come in.”

He took off his jacket and draped it over the chair in the hall. She walked ahead of him into the living room, as she had so long ago. She stood by the fire. He looked around.

“I don't recognize anything, except the furniture. Look how wonderful the floors are. And your rugs! They're works of art.”

It pleased her to hear him say so.

He turned. “And dear old Sophie.”

Sophie opened her eyes and gave him a look. She yawned and went back to sleep.

“Good old Soph. Nothing ever rattles that creature. I see she's as fat as ever.”

“She's not fat, she's fluffy.”

He gave her a big smile.

“Would you like some wine?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She went into the kitchen, and poured two glasses of red wine. She took them back into the living room and asked him to sit down.

They looked at one another.

This was the night that would change everything.

Adrian fiddled with his wineglass before he put it on the table beside him. “I'm not sure where to begin.”

“I won't make this easy for you, Adrian. I'm not a hostess tonight.”

“Of course, of course.”

She took a sip of wine. Her throat was dry. “You asked to see me, because you want me to hear you out.”

“Yes. I have so much to explain.” He looked towards the fireplace. “I'm just not sure where to start.”

“I'm not the same woman you left behind.”

He looked back at her. “No, I can see that.”

“It's nothing you can see on the outside. It comes from living.”

He looked at her intently. “You never knew me when I lived here, Lexie.” He looked back down at his hands. “I want you to know me.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you were my friend when I needed one, and I disrespected that friendship. I'd like the chance to apologize for my behaviour. I've missed you very much.”

She took another big gulp of wine. “You have a very funny way of showing it.”

“I know it seems ridiculous. To leave and never get in touch. There are reasons for it.”

She was uncomfortable. “So now I get to hear your excuses. I'm not sure I want to.”

“I understand that.”

“No, I don't think you do.” This was a mistake. Part of her wanted to go over there and kiss his perfect mouth until morning. The other part wanted to slap his face, over and over again.

She got up. “Maybe you should go.”

Adrian got up too. He came over and took her by the hands.

“Sit, Lexie. I need to tell you about someone. A girl I loved, in Africa.”

Gabby had it wrong. This wasn't about her. He wanted to ease his conscience. He was sorry he hurt her as a friend. That's what he called her, a friend. Now he wanted to tell her about the girl he left behind. The one he loved.

She shut down.
Pretend you're in a play, Lexie, then you
don't have to be you.

She sat only because she didn't have the strength to stand anymore. He took that to mean that she was ready to listen, and began.

“I worked in a refugee camp in Tanzania. You knew that. I was there for almost two years when a girl arrived with her baby. She was with a group of displaced people who arrived from the West, from Burundi. They were forced to leave their homes, because of tribal warfare between Hutu and Tutsi tribes. They were in pretty rough shape when they arrived.”

He took a drink of his wine. “It was my job to try and get some information from them. Most of them spoke Swahili. When it came time to take her name, she didn't speak. Refused. One of the women told me she never spoke, so I asked them to give me the information I needed. They said they didn't know her. She'd joined them on the road one day and followed them.”

Adrian took a breather, as if to gather his thoughts. He was agitated.

“Here I was, a master of language and I couldn't communicate with her.” He clasped his hands together and held them tightly. “It was frustrating. I needed some information, to try and help her. I wanted her to get back to her family. I wanted to do something. She was so small and helpless. She had beautiful big brown eyes that looked like they'd seen the end of the world.”

Adrian looked at her. “She was so alone, Lexie. The people from the same villages gather in their separate groups most of the time. It's so frightening to have your world taken away from you. They stay near each other for comfort. But this girl had no one. She hovered close to the group she came in with, but stayed apart.”