Relative Happiness (37 page)

And she did. She barely took anything off, she was so cautious. Michaela was content. The other three girls couldn't wait their turn.

By the time she got to the baby, Beth was in her glory. She had it down pat. Lexie didn't dare open her mouth, because she knew Beth would bite her head off if she dared to criticize her. But it was difficult not to look amazed.

Brittany's hair was shorter than Michaela's. Halley's was shorter that Brittany's and poor little Madison looked like a Benedictine monk.

When Madison got off the stool and walked away, Beth looked a bit worried. “Do you think I cut it a little short?”

Lexie was no fool. “It's fine.”

She heard Mom come in the door, followed by a terrible screech. “Beth, come here quick, the girls must have got hold of the scissors!”

She tore into the kitchen. Beth held the scissors in her hand.

Mom held her heart. “Oh, thank God. You have to be careful, Beth. Don't leave sharp things around where they can reach them.”

Beth looked dismayed. That's when their mother looked at the huge pile of blond hair all over the kitchen floor.

“My God, Beth. What have you done?”

She looked like she wanted to cry. Lexie couldn't hold it in anymore. “Yes, Beth, what have you done?”

Beth got red in the face. Then she held her nose and covered her mouth. The three of them started to laugh. They laughed so hard, tears streamed down their faces. Just when they had settled down, dear little Madison walked back into the kitchen and they started all over again.

Poor Rory screeched louder than their mother when he came through the door. He shook his head and told Beth it would cost more money to fix the problem than it would have cost to take them to the hairdresser's in the first place. Rory took her in his arms and said not to worry. He'd keep her.

After supper, Mom, Beth and Lexie sat in the family room and nursed their tea. Rory was on the computer and the girls took Josh downstairs with them to watch videos.

Lexie asked Mom, “How's Kate?”

“Oh, she and Daphne are enrolled in a scuba diving course.” She rolled her eyes. “They have every night of the week booked with one thing and another.”

“I hope they learn to dive better than they cook,” Beth smirked. “Rory still whines about that horrible dressing. I had to buy a big chicken two days later and stuff it, just to get him to shut up.”

“Your man is set in his ways,” Lexie smiled. “You spoil him rotten.”

“Well, that's what I'm here for.”

“You're such a Susie Homemaker,” Lexie said.

“Nonsense, it's not about being a Susie Homemaker. I treat him nicely because he treats me nicely. I know what's important in my life. Willie taught me that.”

They sat and thought about it.

Mom said, “Always let your husband know you love him, girls. It's the little things in life that add up to the big things, the everyday gestures. Don't ever take them for granted, because one day, they aren't there anymore and you'll wish you had one more chance.” She looked at Lexie, and smiled sadly.

“Is it bad, Mom? Living without Daddy?” Beth asked.

“I'm extremely sorry to say that most of the time it doesn't feel any different. Your father wasn't home that often anyway, or I was out, or he was in his study.”

She clasped her hands. “But I miss him dreadfully when I lie in an empty bed. He used to sing in the shower and I miss that. And when I hear a creak at night, I still go to give him a shove and send him downstairs to take care of it.” She sighed. “And I sure miss him on holidays, or when the children visit, to chuckle over the milestones—like missing teeth—you know, silly things like that.”

Mom turned to Lexie. “You must get lonely, all by yourself in that house.”

Lexie took a gulp of tea. “It's become a way of life, I'm afraid. I've become so set in my ways, no one would have me anyway.”

“I can't believe that,” Mom scoffed. “There's lots of men who'd want you, if you gave them half a chance.”

“She wants Adrian,” Beth said.

Mom looked fed up. “He left you in the lurch and then he left Gabby. Isn't that enough of a clue to tell you he's not dependable?”

“He is dependable. He was sick when he was here. He's not like that anymore.”

“And how in the world would you know that?” Beth asked.

Lexie scratched the side of her teacup. Then took a sip.

“How do you know?” Beth persisted.

“He told me.”

Mom and Beth looked at each other, and then back at her. “
When
?” Mom shouted

“The other day.”

“Have you gone crazy?” Beth yelled.

“He came to see me.”

“Just out of the blue? With no warning or anything?”

“No. He called first.”

Beth threw a teddy bear at her. “You rat. You never told me!”

Lexie shrugged.

“I tell you everything. Just why in the world would you keep this a secret?”

Lexie put down her cup. She grabbed the bear and hugged it.

“Because I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I felt myself, so I could hardly explain it to someone else.”

“Why on earth would he come back like this?” said her mother. “After being away so long. I don't understand.” She shook her head, and then looked as if she remembered something. “Is that the night you asked me to baby-sit Josh, the night you wanted to go for a drink with friends? I knew you acted a little funny.”

Lexie nodded.

“So?” Beth asked. “Why the hell did he come back now?”

“To tell me he loved me.”

They looked at her and couldn't speak.

“Can I have some more tea?”

Beth looked at Mom. Mom looked at Lexie.

Beth crossed her arms. “No! You can't have any tea. Not until you spill your guts.”

“Fine. I'll get it myself.” Lexie got up and walked into the kitchen. She heard Beth behind her. “Rory?!”

“What?”

“If the kids want anything, will you get it for them because I can't be interrupted.”

There was a pause. “What are you three up to? Having a séance?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then. While you're at it, find out who wins the football game next Saturday.”

“Oh, shut up.” Beth was in her chair by the time Lexie came back with her tea.

It was a long and painful process. When she told them about Binti and her mother and Adrian's terrible journey, they were incredulous at one moment and in tears the next. It really did sound like a soap opera after awhile, except the people were real and it was too tragic, even for daytime television.

“Oh, that precious child,” her mother cried, as she wiped her eyes on her napkin, or what was left of it. “Thank God he went back for her. I'm sorry I said he wasn't dependable. He's not weird at all.”

Beth also cried into her napkin. “That poor girl. My God, there is so much horror in the world. We don't know anything that goes on.”

Lexie listened to the two of them prattle on about Adrian's story. When she said it out loud, it felt different, so hurtful and sad. Poor Adrian.

They were finally quiet for awhile. Then Beth said, “Lexie. There's something I don't understand. I know Adrian had to go back for the baby. But how did he explain Gabby? If he loved you, why did he go with her?”

“I asked him that. He said Gabby was a moment, but I was forever.”

Mom and Beth looked at each other. It was Beth who spoke first. “Who on earth talks like that? God. How romantic.”

“What did you say when he told you he loved you?” Mom asked her.

“That he didn't really love me.”

Beth's hand had reached up to blow her poor red nose again, so her arm hung in mid-air. Her mother had wiped her eyes at that moment, so she played hide and seek. After those few frozen seconds, they lowered their arms and waited.

“I told him he only thought he loved me—that I was a safe place when he needed one. I told him our lives were different and I had learned to stand on my own two feet. So basically I said thanks, but no thanks.”

Beth and Mom looked down at their hands and didn't say anything. They sneaked peeks at one another. They stayed like that for so long Lexie got annoyed.

“It's my decision you know, and I think I made the right one.” She wanted them to understand. “He upsets my life. I need a smooth ride from now on. I've suffered from way too much drama, up and down like a stupid yo-yo. I'm finished with that. Adrian's the past. I need a future.”

“I'm sure you're right,” Mom said, rather sadly.

“You know best.” Her sister sounded sad too.

“Look. Think about it. How can I be happy with someone Gabby still loves?”

It was Beth who opened her mouth first. “Look, it might sound cruel to say all's fair in love and war, but in this case it's true. Adrian didn't come back for Gabby. He came back for you.”

Lexie gave them a worried look. “You think I'm wrong?”

“Lex,” Beth said softly, “You've waited for him for so long. And then you send him packing? Does that sound sensible? I don't understand.”

“Mom?”

“Dearest, the choice is yours. Only you can decide what to do. But I know you. Sometimes you're afraid to jump, that's all.”

Lexie called Kate and told her the story.

“Lex, Adrian was gone a long time. He's lived a life we can't imagine. He's travelled in a world we can't know. He had no reason to come back to you, except one.”

She sat with her dad in comfortable silence and touched the headstone when she left.

Lexie lay in bed that night and thought it over. She opened her window and listened to the tide. She heard the water moving, always moving. One day she'd be gone, but the water would remain. It called to her.

Jump, Lexie, Jump.

She told Josh. He grinned.

She told Susan. Susan punched her arm for not telling her sooner. She said whatever made Lexie happy, made her happy.

She didn't call Gabby.

She told Beth. “Well, it's about fucking time.”

She told Mom. “You deserve every happiness, darling.”

She held her breath and called Adrian. She didn't know if he'd still be there, wherever there was.

He picked it up right away.

“Lexie?”

“Come home Adrian.”

She heard the phone go dead.

Chapter Twenty

Joss went into Sydney for supplies, whistling as he drove, something he did a lot of these days. Why didn't he come back years ago? It was good to be around his brothers and their families. He and Aaron especially chummed around like they did when they were younger. His parents were happier than he had seen them in years. His dad was pretty agile with his cane. He'd sit in the garage and watch Joss repair his nets. There were always a group of fellas that hung around out back all day, his father's cronies and his own.

Joss though he'd buy the small house just down the road. Old Mrs. Morrison finally went into a home, and her place was for sale. He knew his mother was delighted with the prospect of him being so close.

He ran around Sydney, picking up this and that for the boat. It was close to supper hour. He figured he'd have a beer and a steak at the tavern before he headed out for the long drive home. When he opened the door, a thick fog of smoke hung in the air. The hockey game blared from TVs all over the room and guys were hunkered around tables drinking draft.

Joss sat down with someone he knew from school. That's when Tom came up behind him, three sheets to the wind, and slapped him on his back. “Holy shit, look who's here.”

Joss turned around.

“Christ,” Tom bellowed. “I haven't seen you in a dog's age. I thought you were still up north.”

“I came home to help my old man with the boat.”

Tom smirked, “Ya sure? Didn't cross your mind to come back and give some more to Lexie.”

Josh stood up. “Don't talk about her that way.”

Tom picked up on the tone. “Sorry, sorry, no offence meant. Just thought you might want to pick up where you left off.”

“Why would I? She's married.”

Tom screwed up his face. “Married? Shit, Lexie's not married. Who told you that load of crap?”

Joss threw a twenty dollar bill on the table and walked out the door.