Resenting the Hero (6 page)

Waking was disorienting. I was in a strange, small room, awkwardly curled up on a tiny cot. My body was stiff, my muscles screaming. There were strange noises coming from the walls and from beneath the floor.

It was the first time I could remember waking up somewhere that wasn't the academy.

I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my clothes. I slipped into the hall, heading for the taproom.

The Stallion was there. I joined him because to do otherwise would be too much of a snub.

Karish's greeting was not what one would call warm. “Your friend has already left,” he said.

There'd be other times. I gestured at the waiter, and the brilliant man brought me a cup of coffee almost immediately.

“You look lovely this morning,” Karish drawled sarcastically. “I especially like the hair.”

I glanced at him through the locks falling over my eyes, then raked them back to have unobstructed access to my coffee. I knew I looked awful. When red hair was uncombed it looked a thousand times messier than any other color. Fortunately, I didn't care what Karish thought of my looks.

Karish wasn't in the mood to be ignored. “So you know the slings and arrows, do you?” he asked.

It's too early in the morning to be indecipherable, Karish my love.
“Sorry?”

“It's just that I noticed that after we got here last night, you relaxed your vigilance somewhat. So I'm just complimenting you, that you learned absolutely everything about how I work in only one day.”

He was miffed because he hadn't been the center of all my attention the night before. Pathetic. It would be enough to make me laugh, except he was also accusing me of dereliction of duty. I couldn't let my own Source believe I wouldn't do my duty. It would be difficult for him to do his job if he thought I wouldn't be doing mine. Plus it was irritating.

I drained the last of my coffee.

Karish looked horrified. “Zaire, woman, how can you gulp it down like that when it's still hot?”

Because I was a Shield. I gestured at the waiter. “You're left-handed,” I said as my mug was filled. “But you use your right when you eat. You drank three mugs of ale and ate two bowls of the stew. You enjoyed it very much, even though you don't like turnip.”

“Actually,” he interrupted me curtly, “I'm allergic to turnip.”

I almost smiled. Was he trying to shake my confidence? Amateur. “If you were allergic to turnip you wouldn't have touched the stew at all.”
Wouldn't want hives defiling that perfect skin.
“You eat your bread like a woman—”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You tear it off in chunks instead of biting into the whole slice. And you slather all sides with butter. That's disgusting, by the way.” Butter was not icing and shouldn't be treated as such. “You sat straight in your chair, as you are now, without touching the back, despite certain fatigue. I would guess you spent some of your formative years with a wooden rod up your spine.” He leaned back in his chair, then, crossing his arms. “But for much of the evening you had your right foot wrapped around one leg of your chair. Your mother wouldn't approve.” Another slow sip of glorious coffee.

He looked at me, frowning. And then the frown turned into a smile that I didn't trust at all.

“You're staring,” I pointed out tartly.

His response to that was to sweep up my free hand and kiss the back of it. In an instant every ache I'd been feeling was gone, so swift and so complete that the lack itself was almost painful.

I jerked my hand away, and the discomfort flooded back.

I was starving. I opened my mouth to call for the waiter. Before I could speak, however, I noticed a curious stillness about Karish, a stillness I had been taught to recognize. Then I felt the slight adjustments within him, the shifts, the little releases.

“Cyclone,” he whispered.

No. It was too soon. I'd had only a day with him. That wasn't enough time. And Over Leap was supposed to be a cold site. That was why it didn't have any Pairs of its own.

Karish drew in one long, deep breath. Walls within him fell away completely, and as his inner shields tumbled down I snapped mine into place.

Power roared through him. I didn't know exactly where it came from, I never would, but I could feel it rushing through him like water gushing from a ruptured pipe. As it pulsed through him it pressed against the fragile walls of his flesh, testing, pushing, wearing down until he was nothing more than a thin shell separating the internal forces he was channeling from the external forces tearing about freely, a shell that threatened to explode into a million pieces at any moment.

I couldn't touch the forces myself. I could only feel them through Karish. I wondered what it was like, to have all that power rushing through one's body. A part of me mourned that I would never know.

I had Shielded before, during my training with veteran Pairs. I had never felt such a massive flow of power through one person. Maybe, just maybe, Karish actually deserved some of the praise cast at his feet.

I measured Karish's breathing, breathed in time to him, then made us both slow down. I listened to his blood and eased its pressure. The activity in his mind was giving me a headache, so I soothed it into a more natural pace.

My eyes began to burn with the strain, my head pulsing as I weighed every particle of man and force and made constant minute adjustments. I had no idea how long it all lasted. It felt like forever. It could have been no more than a couple of moments.

And then it was over. The cyclone was gone. The air felt cold enough to sting. The sudden painful silence was broken only by Karish and me, panting like a couple of horses after a hard run. Then people were crying out in relief and disbelief. I could hear their feet slapping the ground as they ran toward us.

I was exhausted, every muscle a useless puddle. Sweat lined my skin. My heart was pounding in my throat, my ears were buzzing, and I couldn't quite see straight.

I felt really good.

I grinned at Karish. I couldn't help it.

He looked puzzled for a moment, eyebrows dipping together. Then he grinned back.

Chapter Four

High Scape. Once a tiny little village no one knew the name of, a series of massive earthquakes had brought three waterways through it, changing it forever. Eight major trade routes lured merchants, travelers, and criminals from all over the world. There was every kind of person and every kind of product, and the variety of entertainments was the stuff of legend. It was a huge, dangerous, intoxicating place, and all the people who lived there were lunatics. After all, High Scape was one of the hottest sites on the planet, a target for every imaginable disaster. Pairs prevented the disasters, but the citizens felt a certain pride over the potential for total destruction. Strange.

Karish nudged his horse into a walk down the road to High Scape. I waited a few moments and then followed. Karish no longer objected when I chose to ride or walk behind him. He knew, though he had never admitted it to me, that my close observation of him that first day was probably the only reason I was able to Shield him so well during our little trial by fire in Over Leap. So he left me alone about it. In return, I was no longer quite so vigilant about maintaining those few paces behind. After the first little while it wasn't so essential, and I had always found such a placement just a little too servile. But upon the arrival at our first assignment it was only prudent to follow protocol, and in a place as potentially dangerous as High Scape it would be stupid not to keep my eyes on my Source.

Meanwhile, I had a new life to start, a life that was going to be incredibly free compared to what I'd known before. No one to tell me what to eat or when to sleep or when to study. I could walk anywhere, eat anywhere, casually meet people of every stripe without worrying about instantaneously bonding with them and ruining my future. When I wasn't on duty, my time was mine, and I got to spend it in the most exciting city in the world.

And the ugliest. I had to say that. The buildings in High Scape were hideous. Possibly because none of them matched. So much of the city had been torn down and rebuilt over the centuries, and it appeared that every time they needed a new building they hired the most demented apprentice architect they could find to design it.

A pathetic effort had been made to brighten things up. There were banners hung from windows, arches, and every likely anchor that could be found. Streets were obstructed with gaily decorated platforms and stalls boasting goods of the frivolous variety. And the people seemed to be moving around a lot, full of excitement.

I frowned as I remembered the date.
Ah, hell. Damn, damn, damn. The Star Festival.
It was around that time. I'd forgotten all about it. There'd been no preparations going on at the last village we had ridden through, but different places celebrated at different times.

The Star Festival, when we celebrated the First Landing, when the first people came from who knew where and started living on our world. For most people it was just a time to get together and eat and dance and get drunk for a few days, with no other significance. Which was fair enough, as no one knew the exact date of the First Landing anyway.

I'd never celebrated the Star Festival outside of the confines of my academy. Unbonded Shields did not go to public festivals. The combination of the general excitement, the activity, the drinking, and the music could be extremely dangerous, driving a Shield to unimaginable acts of violence or sex, sometimes sending them cowering in fear. Some Shields even suffered hallucinations. At the academy the activities, beverages, and music had been carefully chosen to keep the Shields calm. In public festivals, no such care was taken. Only bonded Shields could attend, because their Sources were there to keep them under control.

I studied Karish's back. He had done nothing—yet—to suggest he was irresponsible, but he was a Source and an aristocrat, and he lived to satisfy his passions. How could such a creature be expected to forgo his own pleasure just to make sure someone else didn't behave inappropriately?

I'd beg off that night, claiming fatigue, which was true enough. He would be relieved, free to chase pretty young things. I would worry about the next day tomorrow.

That settled, I kept my eye out for the Triple S residence, where Pairs posted in High Scape lived. Again, High Scape was different than other posts, in that it required all of the Pairs to live together. Most sites had only one Pair, and each in a Pair was permitted to find his or her own accommodations. I supposed there would have been complaints, however, if fourteen forms of accommodation had been demanded without payment in one city.

I had to ask for directions to the large, sprawling building with the Triple S emblem over the door. We left our horses at the hitching post, and I pounded on the entrance.

The door was opened a few moments later. A plump woman with graying brown hair and the white braid of a Shield looked at us, and then at our own braids. “Yes?”

I noticed no sense of recognition in her. “We are Lord Shintaro Karish and Shield Mallorough,” I said. “We're the new Pair for High Scape.” I dug my hand into my belt purse and pulled at the letter I'd received at the Horse's Head.

“Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. The next words she spoke were delivered in a more moderate tone. “Forgive me, but we weren't told when the new Pair was arriving, and you're . . . well, you're rather younger than we'd been expecting. Please, come in.” She held the door wider, closing it behind us once we'd entered. “I'm McKenna.”

Karish took her hand. “My friends call me Taro,” he said, smiling. “It's a great honor to meet you.”

She smiled back, admiration tinged with amusement. “I hear you have a lot of friends, Karish.”

He cocked his head to one side. “I like people,” he said.

“I bet you do.” McKenna retrieved her hand, her expression one of tolerance. “All the bedrooms are upstairs. I'm afraid you've been stuck in the smallest, number thirteen and seven. We've been using them for storage. But we did know a Pair was coming eventually, so they've been emptied and furnished. Ben will take up your bags, and I'll start some tea for you.”

“Thank you,” I said, and she nodded and strolled away.

An older man appeared from a side door, holding out his hands for our bags. “Claim a room before we've seen them,” Karish said as we followed Ben up the stairs.

I shrugged. “Thirteen.” I was sure whatever they provided us would be adequate.

From McKenna's description, I'd been expecting the room to be a closet. It was more of a suite. A sitting room with a small collection of chairs and settees, a bedroom with a large quilted bed and two dressers, and an antechamber with a huge, deep bathtub. I looked at the bathtub longingly but felt McKenna had as good as ordered me to go back downstairs immediately.

I took the stairs down and found myself a little lost. I was back in the foyer where we had entered, and followed the corridor past a larger version of the sitting area I had in my suite, a large dining room, and then into the kitchen. I realized I couldn't remember ever seeing a kitchen before. I'd never entered the one at school. There was a long wooden table, with a few high stools scattered about, and rows of cupboards, and a multitude of implements of which I didn't know the names or uses.

“First post, eh?” McKenna asked. She was pulling mugs from one of the cupboards.

“It's that obvious?”