River's End (River's End Series, #1) (26 page)

“Your trip was good?” she finally asked when she could no longer take the awkward silence.

He glanced over his tanned, rounded shoulder at her. “Disappointing. But fine.”

“Disappointing?”

“The horse I went there to get wasn’t ready to travel.”

She let out a breath. “Oh… just the horse was disappointing?”

“Yeah, what else would be?”

“Ian said you go out of town when you want to get laid. Is that why you seem a bit more relaxed? Even taking one afternoon off to play with your kids?” Okay, she wanted to now simply bite her tongue off. She blurted it out, but never, ever meant to approach Jack about his sex life. She shut her eyes in abject horror.

Silence followed her comment. She smacked a hand to her face. God, how could she have said that out loud? His voice was quiet and stern. “I play with my kids, Erin. I’m not always working. And why in the hell were you and Ian talking about me getting laid?”

“Okay, he didn’t say that exactly. But I got the picture.”

“What picture?”

“What you do when you go out of town.”

Jack deliberately sat up. “Where should I do it? With the three single women who live in town? The only ones Lily and I didn’t go to school with?” he dropped his voice and added, “Or should I do that with you?”

She stared out at the water and watched a group of inner tubers floating by, all waving and calling hello to Jack. He waved back, but his entire focus was on her. They watched the group round the corner.

“Well? You haven’t answered me.”

She wouldn’t answer him either. He chuckled as he stood up. “You’re really not as bad ass as you pretend. You’re so red, you look like a boiled lobster.”

“I don’t pretend I’m bad ass.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not when it comes to me. And I didn’t get laid, if it makes you any happier to know.”

She shot a glance up at him, but the sun blinded her and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She slowly rose to her feet. Sand clung everywhere to her, in places she really wished it wouldn’t. Since she had no shoes or towel, she waited for Jack to go first with his jeans wet and clinging to him. He stuck his boots on his bare feet and muttered how bad that felt.

As she tiptoed over the hot sand behind him, she asked, “So does the pool get to stay?”

He stopped so abruptly, she ran into his back. “That’s what you’re most concerned with, isn’t it? The damn pool?”

“Well? Can it?”

“You don’t give me much choice, now do you? Now that Charlie loves it.”

She heard the tone and sensed he knew it was she who loved it too. “It gets really hot here in the afternoons.”

“If you were so hot, why didn’t you just order air conditioning for the trailer?”

“I can’t afford that.”

He shrugged. “I’ll order you some.”

She didn’t get why some things with Jack were such a big deal, and others were not. The pool was far cheaper than getting air conditioning, yet the pool was the problem?

She went directly back to the pool, where Charlie and Ben were already swimming happily. It was sun-warmed, warmer than the river, but still very refreshing. She floated forever, staring up above her at the deep, blue, endless sky, and scorching, white sunlight.
This was what a summer was supposed to be like.
It was all she could think of lately as she watched Charlie and Ben playing on the beach, or in the river, or floating down the river with their friends. She loved to watch them frolic and cavort, just being young in the sun. She’d never had a summer like that. And never frolicked anywhere.

Her only concern during Jack’s brief absence was how much time Ben was spending with that Marcy Fielding girl. She didn’t like how they often ambled up the beach for long periods of time and then disappeared. She intended to talk to Jack about it. There was no doubt in her mind Ben would try and sleep with Marcy; and judging by Marcy’s reputation, Erin didn’t have much hope Marcy would hold out too long. They were too young, and shouldn’t be doing such things.

She was becoming obsessed over it. She didn’t want Ben doing that. Not like she did when she was his age. She knew it was twisted, considering her past, and that she was not even close to being Ben’s guardian. She barely allowed Ben to be alone during the past weeks, and made sure to always follow them as they went up the beach or into the house. During Jack’s absence, she strangely got way more comfortable in the Rydell household. It seemed odd, but she was more at ease getting to know Shane, Ian, Ben and Charlie without Jack being there. She was able to move about the house easier, and didn’t always have to keep her eyes and ears open while worrying where Jack was and what he’d think of whatever she was doing. She’d spent many evenings watching TV with the brothers, and hanging out with Charlie on the porch playing board games, while, of course, keeping an eye on Ben. She’d also taken to wandering into the cool air of the house whenever she needed a refresher. No one cared. They just said hello, and quickly went back to whatever they were doing.

She realized this should all be good. She was becoming accepted, and grew more comfortable as part of the Rydell household. But it wasn’t a good thing. It meant she put way too much stock into what Jack thought about her and whatever she did. It put her on edge, and her heart on high alert. But it mostly scared the shit out of her. No one ever made her feel that way. No one ever had that kind of power over her. No one’s opinion ever mattered to her like Jack Rydell’s.

With a sinking heart, his absence proved that to her. She missed him way too much, and found it intolerably lonely there without him. She felt freer, however, and more comfortable to wander around the house and yard. Even enough to buy a pool and set it up.

Jack was busy the rest of the afternoon unpacking his stuff, checking on the horses, and doing the hundred or so other mysterious things that he did daily. Meanwhile, she floated in the pool, looking up at the sky and trying not to feel so tingly and aware. Foremost on her mind was to avoid watching Jack.

Towards evening, she suddenly felt Jack’s eyes on her from the porch. She lifted her head up and found him staring at her. The air was still nearly eighty degrees as a deep twilight turned the land to shadows and the mountains into purple smudges.

She nearly fell off her inner tube when she realized what Jack was wearing.
Shorts.
He stood there in navy blue swim trunks that skimmed his knees. She nearly choked on the water, never expecting to see Jack in shorts. His legs were toned, hairy, and not as tan as the rest of him. But he wore them well.

She stood in the pool and noticed the bag next to him. “Are you coming in?”

“No. We’re going to swim in a real place, not that plastic tub.”

“We?”

“You and me. Come on.” He held out a blue towel for her. She quickly got out and grabbed it, drying off. Her hands and feet had long ago turned to ugly, wrinkled prunes.

“The river? Now? It’s almost dark.”

“Never been night swimming, huh? It’s fun.”

She stared at his back in a white t-shirt. Why? And why was he acting so companionable towards her? “Are you going to try and kill me again?” she called after him, struggling to get her sandals on. She hopped after him with her towel wrapped around her.

“I didn’t try to kill you. I threw you in the river. God, lighten up. It was in fun.”

She finally caught up to him and glanced at the house, which was dark.

“Where is everyone? Doesn’t Charlie want to come?”

“Ian went to the bar and dropped Ben and Charlie off at different friends’ houses. There’s no one here.”

She frowned. It wasn’t often that the ranch was empty. “So what? I’m your last resort?”

“Something like that.”

She quit talking as they walked to the sandy beach. Once there, she stared at the water, now turned an inky color with the tangerine sky reflecting off its surface. It was beautiful, haunting, and totally different from its previous summer glory.

Jack laid out a towel and sat on it. Then opened the bag next to him. He brought out food and beer. Shocked, she came closer. “You wanted to have a picnic?”

“You haven’t gotten out of the water in nearly four hours. I’ve never seen anyone swim like you do. Must be a relief to wear the bikini to work.”

She glared at him. “I never got to swim like this as a kid. It was never this hot except for maybe five days a year, if we were lucky, and there was no place for us to swim, but the indoor community pool.”

“So hence, I get a new pool?”

She finally smiled as she sat down next to him, cross-legged, with the towel over her lap. She grabbed the cold beer he handed her and the deli sandwich. They ate in silence, watching the sun setting over the river, while the slight breeze stirred the cottonwood leaves behind them. It was so pleasant after the heat of the day, she sighed happily out loud. The beer was nice and warmed her insides as the sandwich and potato chips filled her up. She was more touched at Jack doing this than anything else she could think of.

“So how did you and Ian suddenly get so chummy?”

She glanced up. Was there an acidic tone to his voice? She scrunched her face and tilted her head. “
Oh my God
, are you actually checking to see if I was coming on to your other brother while you were gone?”

He stared, waiting for her to answer. She was so offended, she didn’t know whether to hit him or get up and leave. “As it happens, when you’re not around, they talk to me. I don’t understand it. That’s it. Shane and Ian are much nicer to me when you’re not around. You figure that one out.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“No. Not interesting. Annoying. I was also spending a lot of time at the house because of the heat as well as Ben.”

“Ben? Why Ben?”

“I hate to tell you this, but he and Marcy are spending way too much time together. Do you have any idea how hard it is to prevent them from being alone together?”

He tipped his face towards her. “And you were trying?”

“Of course. My God, he’s way too young to start having sex.”

Jack smiled. She didn’t know why. He dug his bare toe into the sand as he took a long drink of beer. “Lil and I were only sixteen.”

“Well, I was thirteen. That’s no age to be having sex. He’s just a little kid. He should not even be thinking about it. He’s not like the jerks I knew as a kid.”

“Thirteen?”

She looked up at his face. The smirk was gone. “Seventh grade. It’s how I survived.”

“That’s not right.”

“Well, there was no one like you in my life to tell me differently. You need to talk to Ben. Warn him. Threaten him. Maybe even ground him.”

Jack laughed, his teeth flashing, and his eyes twinkled at her. “I can’t ground a fifteen-year-old boy for what he might do. That’s a sure way for him to sneak out to do it. I’m not so sure there’s anything I can do to dissuade him, if he intends to do it.”

She didn’t like that. “You have to try, Jack. You can’t just roll over and play dead about this. It’s too important.”

“It’s really important to you, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “I think Ben deserves better. He needs to be older so he can understand how important it is, and enjoy it. Maybe even be in love first. It should be when he’s good and ready.”

“And that’s where Ben will disagree with you, Erin; he thinks he’s ready now.”

She glared at him. “You’re his father.”

He nodded. “I’m well aware of that. Don’t you think I’d hog-tie him to his bed if I could? It just doesn’t work like that.”

She shoved her foot into the loose sand before flinging it. “I just hate to see him look back and regret this. It’s too important. And that Marcy girl should want to wait too. What kind of girl is she? Why didn’t you teach Ben to only go for the nice girls? He shouldn’t go after girls like me. He should like girls like Kailynn. Or Allison Gray. Not girls like me who will do it just ‘cause the guy asks.”

His hand came to her shoulder and she looked up, confused, when he said softly, “You’re not bad, Erin.”

“I’m not good either. If Ben ran into my equivalent, I’d have already slept with him, and dumped him long ago. Look what I did with your brother.”

“I remember.”

“Well, don’t forget it,” she said, not liking the gentle timbre to his voice.

Silence followed and she dug her feet deeper into the beach. Her toes hit the wet sand underneath. She dug deeper still.

“Let’s swim.”

She glanced up with a scowl at Jack. “Now? It’s dark.”

“Almost, but the water’s still warm from today. Trust me,” he said, his cocky smile beaming on his face. She wanted to stop talking about herself and reminding Jack of who she really was, so she agreed without further argument.

She followed Jack to the water’s dark edge. A rim of white light hung over the hills across the river, leaving the trees and hills in darkened outlines. He was right; the water was warm. It was nice. She followed Jack in. The water felt refreshing and pleasant in the warm air. The air and water were about the same temperature. And it was fun to dunk and paddle around in the dark water as the night engulfed them and twilight started to fade. After half an hour, she started to finally grow chilled.