Road To Whatever (Perfect For Me Book 1) (3 page)

I watch the girl as her face twists in disappointment and then she rakes her eyes over me with a scowl. She stomps off when Rage leans into my ear for his next question. I am sure my heart just stopped as he pauses before whispering in my ear. I am all sensation as his breath tickles my skin.

“I’m going to get out of here. Want to finish this interview at Mandy’s? Some of the band is crashing there tonight for practice tomorrow,” he finally says.

It was my plan to stay the night at Mandy’s tonight as well but something in the way Rage says the words has left me questioning if leaving with him is a good idea. I’m not sure if it is the alcohol that is making my body buzz or if it has something to do with his hand still on me and his lips teasing my skin.

Whatever it is I didn’t trust myself around him at all.

I wake up to someone pounding on the door and the doorbell ringing. Ugh, my mouth is so dry. I stiffen as the fog clears and I realize I am naked except for my panties and there is an arm thrown across my body. Where the hell am I and what have I done?

Think Kelly, think,
I groan. Last thing I remember is finishing a beer at the bar and heading out with Rage in a cab. Mitch left at the same time with a slim brunette and Sleep was wrapped around a red head in the corner by the stage. My brain is refusing to bring up anything after that.

The panic goes away when I peek down to see the pink nail polish on the dainty little hand I know belongs to my best friend. I sigh in relief as the pounding on the door rings out again. “Get your hair out of my face Kit,” Mandy fusses.

“Someone is at your door,” I yawn.

“So,” she mumbles. “Go answer it.”

I groan and shove her arm off of me. I plant my feet on the floor and look around for something to throw on. I grab a t-shirt out of my bag and tug it over my head. I pad my way downstairs to the front door where the pounding starts again.

“Hold your horses,” I yell.

I look out the glass to see it is Linc looking tired and angry. My phone must have died again. I pull the door open and Linc’s eyes run over me before he sighs and steps in. I am used to walking around dressed like this in front of Linc so I am not sure what is up with his noticeable reaction this morning.

“You know how long I have been banging. Geeze Kit, I’m exhausted and I just want to get my car and go to bed,” he huffs.

“Sorry, did you try Mandy’s phone,” I murmur.

“Straight to voicemail,” he sighs.

“Good morning kids,” I hear from behind.

Linc grabs my waist and shoves me behind him. I look around him to see Rage in just his boxers. Memories start to resurface from last night. We’d come back here and Rage and I talked some more and had a few more beers before Chris arrived and we started to reminisce on old times. I was definitely drunk by the time Rage carried me to Mandy’s room although I am still a little foggy on who undressed me. 

I’d probably be able to figure that part out too if I wasn’t entranced by a half-naked Rage. I don’t mean to stare but it is hard not to look at the black ink scrolling across his chest. Then there is the chest itself. He is tanned, ripped, all tight abs with cut up biceps that the tattoo scrolls out to and around. 

“Good morning,” I nearly whisper from behind Linc.

Linc shoots me a glare and adjusts so that he is sure he is covering me. That reminds me of what I look like this morning. I have to have some serious bed hair and I need to brush my teeth. I run my hands through my hair in a wasted attempt to tame it while trying to think of anything cool to say.

“You guys want some coffee,” Rage offers.

“No, I don’t drink coffee,” I say as I step around Linc.

“No thanks,” Linc bites out as he places his hands on my waist protectively.

“So … do you guys think I may be a fit for the band,” I ask not able to think of anything else.

“Coffee first, the guys are all getting up. We all crashed here last night,” Rage yawns as he looks up from the coffeemaker then frowns at me. “And I think maybe you should put on some pants and a bra before we tell you anything.”

I looked down and bite my lip. Linc snorts and pushes me toward the stairs. “Totally agree,” Linc mutters. “Look Kit, I need my car and some sleep. It will take her twenty minutes dude.” Linc directs the last part to Rage.

“It’s Rage, and take your time, me and the band need to talk things over first anyway.”

“I’ll be right back,” I say to Linc before barreling up the stairs.

I run to brush my teeth and throw on my jeans and my boots. I laugh at Rage’s suggestion for a bra. I don’t even own that many, despite being a nice full D cup I rarely wear them. My girls are nice and perky, besides I hate being bound up. I grabbed my leather and slap Mandy on the butt as I walk out of the room.

“Be back Mandy, taking Linc to get his ride,” I call over my shoulder.

“Ugh, why are you so loud,” she groans and throws her pillow.

I chuckle and dodge the pillow. Mandy always has the worse hangovers. I laugh as I jog downstairs. As I turn the corner and the guys come into view I notice the change in the atmosphere. You could almost cut it with a knife. Linc’s back is rigid and he looks as if he wants to lunge at Rage. Rage’s face looks severe and his mouth is twisted like he taste something bad.

“Hey,” I say as I walk up to Linc and touch his arm.

“Hey babe, you ready,” Linc asks as he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses the top of my head.

“Yeah, you driving,” I ask as I turn for the door.

“You bet,” Linc laughs. He never likes riding behind me, even if we are on my bike.

Linc has his own bike that his little brother crashed two months ago and his Mustang broke down yesterday, that’s why I offered him my Ducati. It is always funny to watch his huge frame on my pink and black bike. Not that my bike is girlie or anything but seeing Linc on anything with just a little pink is hilarious. I put on my helmet and climb on behind Linc. As I look up I see Nolan looking like his nickname, Rage. I lock my arms around Linc and Linc lets the engine growl beneath us.

We take off before I can process the look on Rage’s face. It makes me wonder what was going on between the two of them before I came downstairs. I know Linc knows how important this gig is to me. I hope he didn’t threaten Rage thinking he was protecting me.

We pull into the garage where Linc’s baby is getting fixed up and I step off my bike and take off my helmet. Linc swings his leg over and steps in front of me. He watches my face for a few minutes before he decides to speak. I know Linc and he has something on his mind. He is just piecing it together before he says it out loud, which means there is a great chance that I am not going to like it one bit. 

“Look, it will just take me a sec to get my car and I’ll be right back. I have something I want to talk to you about. Will you please wait for me?”

“Okay,” I smile up at him to reassure him that I will wait and that he can talk to me.

I rest my helmet on the seat and start to look my baby over to make sure that Linc brought her back safe. It doesn’t take long for Linc to pull up beside me. I straighten and walk over to the passenger side of his car. Linc gets out and walks over to me placing his hands on my waist.

“Kit, I just want you to hear me out,” Linc starts and I know this is going to be bad. “I love you so much Kitty, I think we can make this work… no listen… if we don’t work out then we can say we tried and we can go back to being friends.”

“Linc, it’s not that easy and I think it would be a big mistake,” I sigh as I try to get him to see my point for the millionth time. Before I can point out all the reasons to stay friends Linc has his lips pressed to mine pushing me up against his car.

I go stiff when his lips first meet mine but for a second I forget this is Linc and give in. His lips are so soft and he is kissing me like he needs me. His warm tongue traces the seam of my lips and snakes its way into my mouth. It is warm and sweet, not at all what I was expecting as his tongue gently flicks at mine. I’ve totally forgotten where I am and with whom I am with when I roll up on my toes and wrap my arms around Linc’s neck.

Linc releases a groan deep in the back of his throat as he reaches for my backside and squeezes as he lifts me up into him. I feel his arousal press against my stomach and it is like a bucket of ice cold water bringing me back to my senses. This is so bad, so wrong. I have to think, this is Linc, we can’t do this.

I pull away trying to back up only to back into his car as he moves forward and cages me in with his arms. For a moment, looking up at those brown eyes and watching the sunlight dance in his blonde hair making it look like gold, I think that maybe just maybe I could give into this gorgeous guy and make him happy. 

I sigh because in a relationship we should both be happy and I would not be happy. That kiss was … it was great but it is not what I want. Linc is not what I want, not in that way. I wrap my arms around my middle and look down at my feet.

“No Kelly, No,” Linc whispers in a broken voice. “Baby, please don’t pull away.”

“I can’t Linc,” I sob. “I’m sorry.”

Linc pushes his hands through his hair and blows out a deep breath. I can see his heart breaking but what am I to do? I love him too, just not the way he wants. “I’ll call you later okay? I just need to go get some sleep,” Linc says coolly.

I nod but I know this is a lie. Linc disappears for weeks at a time after every time he asks me out and I turn him down. This time he kissed me and I still said no, so I am sure this time it will be worse. He has no idea how much it hurts when he does that. It is one of the reasons I won’t risk us. I walk over to my bike throwing my leg over and pulling my helmet on. I take a moment for the sobs to subside and then start out for Mandy’s.

When I pull in front of the house I sit on my bike wanting to hit something. I revved the engine a few times instead, letting my bike thunder underneath me. The rumble does little to calm me but it is something. I cut the engine and start for the house.

Mandy tears the door open and with one look at me she knows. I can see the pain register in her face. However, for the first time I think about it and I am not sure who she feels pain for, me or my best friend who keeps coming back to me to have his heart broken. I feel like a monster. Some part of me knows I should just let him go because he wants something I can never give him. I don’t know if I can give it to anyone. Maybe I am too broken to love anyone.

“Oh no Kelly, he tried again,” Mandy chokes out. I nod and step into her arms as she closes the door. “I told him not to.”

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I want him,” I sob.

“You want what you want Kit,” Mandy sighs.

“What do I want,” I whine.

“I don’t know honey. You tell me,” Mandy coos as she rubs my hair.

“I want someone that only wants me, Mandy. You know, someone that needs me so much no one else will do. Someone that won’t be able to be with anyone else because I am all he thinks about,” I sniffle. “Someone that will never leave me because he loves me so much. That’s not Linc. He is probably with some girl right now trying to forget me. I can’t ruin us for him to find out he doesn’t need me as much as I need him. I need someone perfect for me.”

“As crazy as that sounds, I know Linc and I know you and it makes perfect sense. I hope that what you want is out there Kitty because you of all people deserve it.”

“I hope so too,” I snort, “I hope I can see it when I find it.”

CHAPTER Three

“S
o we all agree she totally killed it last night,” I ask the band as we sit in Mandy’s garage where we rehearse.

“I told you she would,” Crush croons.

“I agree, I think we found our singer,” Mitch replies.

“Yeah, I agree she was by far the best we have seen yet and her song was killer,” Sleep adds in. “Not to mention she is total eye candy.”

I try to ignore the last part of Sleep’s comment. But the first part reminds me of the song Crush played with Kitty last night that made her smile like crazy. I was kind of jealous but I want to know what the song was. “Crush man, what was with the drum solo and the song last night,” I ask trying to play it cool.

“Oh dude, sorry about that I was just in the moment, you know. It was the first song I ever wrote and she kind of helped me with it. She actually plays it better than I do but don’t tell her I said that,” Crush chuckles.

I try to swallow down the jealousy. I spent the whole night trying to remember if I had ever seen Kitty with Mandy and Chris when we were younger. The most I could push around in my brain was dropping them off and picking them up at this big house sometimes. I remember once in a while catching a glimpse of their friend who the house belonged to from a distance. I was always in a rush to get back to my own friends back then.

I haven’t been able to get Kitty off my mind and this morning when that guy showed up I wanted to throw him out. Seeing Kitty half naked in front of him did all types of crazy things to me. He seemed just as pissed as I was, but Kitty, she stood there like it was normal to be naked in front of guys.

I mean she had on a t-shirt but it was barely covering her ass. I could see her cute little pink panties peeking from underneath. I wanted to push Linc out the door and then throw her up against it until she promised she was mine, while I was balls deep inside her.

And this has been the madness going through my head all morning. I barely know the girl and I not only want her but I want to mark her in every way I know how, to make her mine.

Last night seeing the way she reacted to my touch and the shivers I felt run through her each time my lips brushed her skin was like a drug. I had to fight with everything I had not to pin her to Mandy’s couch and show her why she had no business drinking so much and following me back to Mandy’s alone. Show her why if she were mine I would never let her out of my sight, certainly not in a club all by herself. At least that was what I was thinking last night before that guy showed up this morning.

“So I guess we have a lead singer,” Mitch says, snapping me out of my thoughts. “And we still agree no one touches Kitty, right?”

I don’t fail to notice Mitch points that comment towards me and not Crush. I am not making any promises. Not after spending time with Kitty last night and surely not after my talk with that douchebag this morning. I asked him if Kitty was his girlfriend and the asshat told me, “Not yet, but soon.” When I smiled at him and told him good luck with that he growled at me to stay away from her. I have no intentions of staying away from her.

“Rage man, think with your head on your shoulders and not the one in your pants, man. This is the band,” Mitch warns.

I have to take time to think about that one. Mitch has a point, with my dad on my back giving me ultimatums I have a lot more to consider. As much as Kitty’s presence has stirred something new in me I have to remember the band.

“Fine,” I grumble. He has a point this is the band, one of the most important things to me. I would never mess things up for the guys because I can’t keep it in my pants.

“So where is she?” Sleep asks.

“I don’t know. I thought that was her bike outside,” I shrug. I was sure I heard that sweet bike of hers revving up outside about ten minutes ago.

I was shocked to see her ride was a bike but I was seeing red when I saw her climb on the back while that douche drove. I expected her to have some cute little coupe or something. I have to admit I would love to see her on that bike by herself. I was almost tempted to make an excuse to go out there when I first thought I heard the bike come back.

“Her bike,” Sleep quizzes.

“Yeah, a pink and black Ducati,” I reply.

“Sweet,” Sleep chuckles. “Just so you all know I won’t touch her but I am officially in love with her.” Everyone laughs but me which thankfully no one seems to notice because Mandy pokes her head in the garage.

“Hey you guys. Is it okay for me and Kitty to come in,” Mandy asks in a soft voice that raises the hairs on the back of my neck.

Mandy is never soft spoken or timid unless she is upset about something. I frown as Crush waves her in and Kitty walks in looking as if she has been crying. I know she wants this gig but we didn’t give her the impression she wasn’t getting it so there would be no reason for her to cry over it. And why would Mandy look so sad, we talked this morning. I told her Kitty pretty much had the gig I just needed to talk it over with the guys.

Kitty takes a seat on a crate as far away from everyone as she can get. Mandy sits next to Sleep and Crush and starts talking about the tour she is working on for us over the summer. We would rather start out sooner but we are aware that Kitty is finishing a semester at school and would need more time before she can pick up and start traveling.

We will have to work around her schedule a lot for the next few months but she is worth it after what we saw last night. I study Kitty for a while before I clear my throat to get the room’s attention. Everyone stops talking and looks over to me. Kitty looks up at me through her lashes looking just like a sad little kitten.

“Kitty, we just wanted to let you know that you are a new member of True Life. You and I will be the lead singers and we will finally get to start working on this demo,” I announce.

Kitty gives a weak smile that doesn’t even touch her eyes. “Thanks guys,” she mutters. “You can text me rehearsal times and I will do my best to be at as many as I can.”

“No worries Kit,” Crush croons, “I think this will be great. I mean if it’s cool with you we’ll rehearse in your studio sometimes too.”

“Um…maybe not Chris,” Mandy hisses and narrows her eyes at Crush.

“No, he is right Mandy. Maybe that would help, you know… me move forward,” Kitty says swallowing past the lump in her throat. “Crush maybe you can come over sometime and see if everything down there is still working and if I need to have anything replaced, okay?”

“Sure Kitten, when you’re ready, babe,” Crush smiles.

“I’ll let you know. Listen, thanks again guys I need to get going. I’ll see you later,” Kitty says as she stands and starts for the door.

I want to jump up and follow her out to find out what is wrong but Mandy is at her side before I can make a move. If that douchebag wannabe boyfriend of hers hurt her I will rip his face off. It had to be him. She was fine before leaving with him this morning.

I am so angry I can’t see straight. All I want is to protect the little kitten that is walking out of the door. I didn’t miss the whole studio thing with her and Crush but I could always pick him for that information later. First thing I want to know is who took the smile from my girl’s face.

And with that thought I sigh. I am done. Kelly ‘Kitty’ Nelson owns me completely. The one girl that is off limits to me is the one girl I want totally.