Run to Me (22 page)

‘Go get ‘em,’ he says with a smirk, releasing my
hand.

I climb from the car. Paul has moved closer; he
is now barely five metres from me. I know he must have seen the kiss. I try to
apologise with my eyes but he just frowns and turns away.

***

I don’t want to ignore her, or turn away, but
it’s the first time I’ve seen them together and it grates on me. It’s not like
I didn’t know she was married, but I’ve never seen him in the flesh before. And
now here he is, kissing her. It takes everything I’ve got not to show how angry
I am. That’s why I turn away.

‘Paul?’ she says from behind me, and she sounds
scared.

‘Yeah?’ I say without looking at her.

‘Are you OK?’

‘Yep, all ready for the race, Miss. It’s going
to be a blast.’ I know I’m being immature, but I can’t help it.

She comes around in front of me and her whole
face is frowning.

‘So that’s how you’re going to be?’

I look at her and nod.

‘Don’t worry about me. I can make ten kilometres
no worries.’

I can tell she wants to lay into me, but there
are heaps of people around so I reckon I’m safe. She stares at me, but doesn’t
say anything more. I see Matt walking towards us and I wave.

‘Hey,’ he says, looking back and forth between
Abby and me. He must know something is up.

‘How’s it going? You ready?’

‘Sure.’

‘Hello Matt,’ she says finally, in her serious
teacher’s voice.

‘Hi, Mrs Fox.’

‘I better go sign in. I’ll see you both at the
starting line.’

She wanders off, without looking at me, and Matt
elbows me in the ribs.

‘What was that all about?’ he asks.

I shrug. ‘Saw her with her husband.’

Matt studies my face and then nods slowly.
‘Right.’

We hang around the starting line, sizing up the
competition. There are the usual wannabe athletes whose dust I’m sure to be
eating, and the group of large laughing women who are just here for a fun
afternoon out. Most of the rest are just like me and Matt, not quite top of the
list, but able to hold their own.

I don’t clock Abby again until we’re all lining
up to start. She keeps her eyes on the road ahead, purposely off me, even when
I try to get her attention. When the bell rings she takes off and I know I’m
going to have to work hard to catch up to her. I realise just how much she must
have slowed her pace to run beside me during training. When this thought hits
me I feel a stab in the guts. I wish I hadn’t been so rude to her earlier.

I pound the pavement and concentrate on taking
long strides. I don’t even worry about Matt, I know he’ll understand why I’ve
ditched him. I keep her white shirt in view and let my natural rhythm take
over. I know there’s no point pushing myself to the point of injury. If I set a
steady pace, then I can slowly increase it to catch her. As long as she doesn’t
stray too far ahead.

After fifteen minutes the pack starts to thin
out. The stragglers, including Matt, fall behind me. I manage to pass a few no
hopers and this spurs me on. I’ve still got her white shirt in front of me and
I’m kind of meditating on the way her legs move through the motions. As I get
closer I can see the sweat starting to glisten on her skin, just like it does
when we’ve been at it for ages.

It hasn’t taken me that long to catch her, and
I’m wondering if something is wrong. She’s definitely slowed. I put my head
down and stride out, closing the gap fairly quickly. When I pull up beside her
she gives a little squeak, and I notice the wet on her face. It isn’t sweat,
though. She’s crying. I instinctively reach my hand out to her.

‘Don’t,’ she says. ‘There’s too many people around.’

For the first time I see the crowd of spectators
lining our route. I’ve been so focussed on getting to her that everything else
has become a blur. But now that my attention is on it, all I hear is the
cheering people.

I lower my hand. ‘Are you OK?’

‘This is all so messed up.’

Her breathing isn’t even coming in hard yet. I
try to slow my own because I know it’s verging on raspy. I want to be able to
talk to her, help her chill out a bit, but I know it’s going to take work with
my lungs struggling already.

‘I’m sorry about before.’

‘It’s OK. I’m sorry you had to see that. It must
be awful for you, but what can I do? He is my husband.’

I wish she’d stop saying that.

‘Hmm,’ is all I can manage.

She slows even more. ‘I’m just not up for this
today.’

I look at her and she seems about to quit.

‘Come on,’ I say. ‘Let’s run this together.
We’re almost half way anyhow. You can’t give up here.’

She surveys everything, the people just ahead of
us, the crowd alongside us, and then she looks at me.

‘Come on, Abby,’ I say again. ‘It’s just you and
me.’

This makes her smile and together we stretch it
out, gathering speed. Without trying, our legs synchronise. I block everything
else out and focus on the sound of her breathing next to me. We’re running so
close that every now and then my forearm brushes against hers. When it does she
looks at me, and smiles. I can feel my heart pounding, and my lungs are tight,
but running beside her gives me a burst of energy. I know it sounds soppy, but
having her close by makes all the pain worth it.

***

When I see the finish line ahead of us I feel a
wave of disappointment. Running beside him, out legs in sync, our breathing
melting together, has made me forget everything else in my life. I suppose I
was hoping it would never have to end. That we could just keep going, just keep
running like this, alongside each other.

‘We’re almost there,’ he says with the biggest
smile I’ve ever seen. I know he’s probably in pain, I don’t think he’s ever
maintained this pace for more than a few laps of the oval.

‘You’re doing great,’ I say.

He nods and focuses on the road.

After we cross the line we practically fall into
each others arms. We’re hugging, and twirling around, and smiling. In my
excitement and fatigue, I forget all the people around us for a second and I
let my hand wander into his hair. It’s an intimate touch, I know it, but I
can’t pull my hand away. Luckily Paul does it for me, when he bends over to
catch his breath. In that instant the noise of the crowd descends on me. I look
around, searching the crowd for Luke, praying that he won’t have seen me. I
turn on the spot, hunting amongst the cheering spectators but I don’t find him.
Instead I catch sight of someone I wasn’t expecting to see. Kim. And her expression
is one of pure incredulity.

We stare each other down until finally Kim
shakes her head and turns to walk away. I run after her.

‘Kim. Kim. Please stop.’

She whirls around on me, and she is screaming.

‘I can’t believe you, Abby. What have you done?
What the
hell
have you done?’

She is so angry that spit flies out of her mouth
and hits my nose. I wipe it away.

‘Kim, listen. I don’t know what you saw but it’s
not...’

‘Don’t you dare say it’s not what it looks like.
I know damn well what it is. I’m not an idiot. You were all over that young
boy. How could you do this?’

‘I haven’t...’

‘You haven’t what? Shared your bed?’

I want to plead ignorance, but her directness
leaves me flawed. I know my face has given it all away. Kim stares at me with
her mouth open, as though she still can’t quite believe it. Even though she
picked it straight off.

‘My God! You have, haven’t you? You slept with
that teenager?’

I glance around but no one seems to be taking
any notice of us. Everyone is focussed on the finish line, and everyone is
cheering. Luke is still nowhere to be seen.

‘Please Kim. We can’t do this here.’

‘Ohh really? Why? Because your
husband
might hear us? Your loving husband who realised he’d left the camera in the car
and ran back to get it? Your husband who’ll be gutted he missed your finish?’

I try not to smile. I know how inappropriate it
is, but I can’t believe how lucky I am that Luke isn’t here right now.  

‘Yes, rather convenient for you wasn’t it?’ spits
Kim, reading my expression again.

I feel my own anger start to bubble up now. What
gives her the right to speak to me like this?

‘Look, Kim. This has nothing to do with you.’

There’s that look of disbelief again.

‘It doesn’t? My own sister is engaging in child
abuse and I’m supposed to stand by and let it happen?’

‘This isn’t
abuse
.’

‘No? Well what would you call it then?
Extracurricular activity?’

‘He’s almost eighteen. It’s not like I forced
him.’

‘But he’s your student, Abby. It’s illegal,
regardless of how it came about. You could go to prison, for Christ’s sake.’

I reach out and grab her arm. I look her
directly in the eyes. ‘Not if it doesn’t get out.’

Kim jerks her arm free of my grasp. ‘What? You
actually expect me to do nothing? What if this was Isabelle? What if one of her
teachers was sleeping with her? Would you want me to turn a blind eye to that?’

‘That isn’t the same thing.’

‘Why not? It’s an adult taking advantage of an
impressionable minor. Just admit you’ve made a gross error in judgement here,
Abby.’

‘I don’t need the lecture, Kim. Like I said,
this has nothing to do with you. This is between Paul and me.’

‘Paul? Is that his name? The young man you
seduced
.’

‘What do you take me for? Kim this is me. Things
happen sometimes, things that you never thought would happen to you. But it has
happened. And I can’t take it back.’

She scrutinizes me for what seems like an
eternity. I try, unsuccessfully, to hide my true feelings but they may as well
be written in black permanent marker across my forehead.

‘You don’t even want to take this back. Do you?’
she spits at me. ‘You’ve fallen for a seventeen-year-old child?’

‘He’s not a child!’

‘Bullshit.’

This is the strongest curse word that Kim has
ever uttered and it takes me by surprise. I look at her, red in the face and
eyes narrowing to stare at me, and I realise I have never, in all my life, seen
my sister this angry. At anyone, let alone me. I step back, as though that
might flatten her hostility but she stands her ground.

Kim crosses her arms stiffly and looks over my
shoulder. I follow her gaze and see Luke striding towards us. He is holding the
camera aloft and shaking his head. Kim leans in so her mouth is barely an inch
from my ear. When she speaks I can almost taste the venom in her words.

‘You tell him or I will.’

***

I lose Abby in the crowd. She is here one minute,
curling her fingers through my hair and the next she is nowhere. I didn’t even
see her walk away. I search for her but there are too many people. All I see is
women cheering and cameras flashing. A guy wearing a chunky gold medallion
round his neck poses for the cameras with a cheesy grin. He must have come
first.

I collapse on the grass and do some stretches
while I wait for Matt. Abby and I were really motoring today but he can’t be
more than five minutes behind. I reckon he will have managed OK. Lately, with
me spending the majority of training running with Abby, he’s gotten better at
motivating himself. I’ve noticed because it made me feel a bit redundant. Ever
since I dragged Matt out to run with me a couple of years back, it’s been my
job to keep his spirits up. He never particularly liked running alone but I
guess my thing with Abby has forced him to.

I’m standing by the drinks stall when I finally
see him powering towards the end. He looks in good form, his legs hardly
dragging at all. I clap and jump up and down when he crosses the line. He
smiles at me and then collapses on the ground in mock exhaustion. I walk over
and look down at him.

‘Get up, soldier. This isn’t the end. You’ve got
two more laps and then you’ll drop and give me fifty.’

‘Fuck off,’ he says, but he is laughing.

I reach down and grab his hand, yanking him up
off the dirt.

‘Nice run mate,’ I say, slapping him on the
back.

‘Would have been nicer if you didn’t leave me
high and dry.’

For a second I think he’s serious, and I feel
guilt rising in my gut. But then he knuckles me round the head and smirks.

‘Just kidding,’ he says.

‘You had me for a second. Your acting is getting
better.’

We both laugh.