Sapphire (23 page)

‘Or maybe,’ Jazz replied, her blue eyes looking searchingly at her friend, ‘you still have feelings for Jay.’

‘No way!’ Sapphire blustered, shaking her head. But she couldn’t meet Jazz’s eye. She felt unsettled for the rest of the day. It’s just that he broke up with you, she tried to tell herself, you don’t really want him back. But she didn’t sound convincing even to herself.

SAPPHIRE HAD HARDLY
seen her mum in the run up to before Christmas. She was grateful that the boutique and beauty rooms were frantically busy – finally – but it didn’t give her time to think about much else. Nor had she seen much of Ryan, which didn’t seem such a great loss right now. He was spending Christmas with his family in Dublin. He had suggested that she fly out on Boxing Day but without much enthusiasm and nor was she bothered. She realised that she had got what she thought she wanted with Ryan, only to find that actually she wanted more – just not with him. God! Sometimes life seemed so complicated! And on top of that, Sapphire hadn’t liked Christmas since her dad died. She would spend Christmas Eve with Jazz and Sam, then go round to her mum’s on Christmas day for a traditional Christmas lunch, which would only serve to remind them that there were only two of them in the family. Christmas Day often felt to Sapphire like one of the loneliest days of the year and she was secretly jealous of her friends with their large extended families, even as they moaned about having to buy presents for their various aunts, uncles, nieces etc.

Sapphire had completely forgotten about Jay’s mum inviting them over for Christmas, so it was something of a bolt from the blue when Christine announced that they
were still going when Sapphire called to ask what her mum fancied for Christmas.

‘Don’t forget the presents for Jay’s family as well,’ Christine replied.

‘Mum!’
Sapphire protested. ‘We’ve split up, remember! There’s no way I can still go!’

‘Honestly, Sapphire, he is so lovely, I don’t know what possessed you.’

‘Whatever. Look, I really don’t want to talk about it but please, Mum, get this into your head: I can’t spend Christmas at Jay’s.’

There was a sharp intake of breath from Christine. ‘That is just like you, Sapphire – only ever thinking of yourself. Vicky has insisted the invitation is still open. I’ve been seeing quite a lot of her, we’ve become good friends. And,’ she hesitated, then blurted out, ‘Clayton’s brother Jason, is going to be there, and we’ve been seeing each other. But if you don’t go to Vicky’s I won’t be able to go either.’

Sapphire struggled to take in her mum’s news and deal with the heavy emotional blackmail. ‘You mean you’ve got a boyfriend?’

‘There’s no need to sound so shocked,’ Christine shot back. ‘I’m fifty, not a hundred and fifty. The same age as Madonna, that’s what you’re always saying, isn’t it? And at least Jason
is
my age, not young enough to be my son.’

‘I’m not shocked,’ Sapphire replied, though she was, ‘I’m really pleased for you, Mum, really. So what’s he like?’

As Christine chatted happily away, sounding completely infatuated, Sapphire reflected that it was great for her mum to have someone else in her life. There was just the matter of Christmas. When Christine paused, Sapphire said, ‘He sounds lovely. I’m just still not sure that I can go to Jay’s family. Maybe I could go to Jazz’s. It might be awkward.’

Awkward didn’t even cover the conflicting emotions the prospect of seeing Jay aroused in her.

‘Please come Sapphire – don’t you think I deserve to have a decent Christmas after all these years on my own? I really couldn’t go without you.’

God, her mum could turn on the pressure! Sapphire reluctantly agreed and the Academy award for emotional blackmail went straight to Christine Jones.

‘Happy Christmas!’ Jay’s family chorused when they met Sapphire and Christine on Brighton seafront on the morning Sapphire had been nervously anticipating for the last week. While she wondered where Jay was, Christine embraced a tall black man, who bore a striking resemblance to Clayton.

‘Sapphire, this is Jason.’

Jason smiled warmly as he reached out and shook Sapphire’s hand. ‘Good to finally meet you Sapphire, I gather you’re quite the entrepreneur and always working. But Christine, are you sure she’s your daughter? Surely you two are sisters!’

‘Flattery will get you everywhere!’ Christine exclaimed, looking adoringly at Jason. Sapphire smiled and tried not to be too disconcerted by the sight of her mum arm in arm with another man. But Jason clearly had a positive effect on Christine. She looked at least ten years younger. Vicky had cut her hair into a sleek bob, and coloured it a rich chestnut to disguise the grey, making her deep blue eyes appear bluer, and she was finally wearing make-up. She looked great. It clearly wasn’t about surgery, chemical peels and hours at the dentist, Sapphire reflected, more about falling in love . . .

‘She fab doesn’t she?’ Vicky noticed Sapphire taking her mum in.

‘Yeah,’ Sapphire agreed, shoving her hands deep into her coat pockets. The wind was bitingly cold.

‘Jay’s off on a run at the moment. He’s training for the marathon. He’ll join us at the house,’ Vicky continued as if reading Sapphire’s mind. ‘So how are you, Sapphire? You look great.’

And so she bloody should Sapphire reflected as she’d spent the best part of two hours getting ready, straightening her hair, putting on fake lashes, taking ages to decide what to wear – in the end a purple pencil skirt, a tight black cashmere sweater, shoe boots, and a huge black fake fur coat.

‘Thanks Vicky, so do you,’ Sapphire said, feeling self-conscious. God knows what Vicky must think of her.

‘I’m so glad you and Christine could come, and I really don’t want there to be any awkwardness. Christine and me have become good friends and what happened between you and Jay is your business. You’re very welcome to join us for Christmas.’ Vicky smiled warmly at Sapphire.

Sapphire so appreciated Vicky’s words that she could feel tears prick her eyes. ‘Thanks,’ she replied and rewound her scarf round her neck so Vicky wouldn’t see her crying.

After a brisk walk along the promenade – it really was freezing – the group gathered at one of the cafés on the seafront for hot chocolates laced with brandy. Sapphire sipped her drink while families and friends strolled by – children riding brand-new bikes or tentatively skating on roller blades – everyone smiling and looking happy. It was an idyllic scene but Sapphire just felt so lonely.

Back at Vicky’s everyone was enlisted to help with some part of the meal. Sapphire found herself peeling a huge pile of spuds and carrots and then laying the table. There was still no sign of Jay but her heart beat faster every time someone clattered down the stairs into the basement kitchen. But in spite of her feelings about Jay
Sapphire couldn’t help but be caught up in the atmosphere – everyone was laughing and chatting and she hadn’t seen her mum look so happy in such a long time.

‘So who are you going out with now?’ Estelle, one of the gorgeous twins asked, picking up a carrot that Sapphire had just peeled and crunching it.

‘Just some guy,’ Sapphire replied, suddenly remembering that she hadn’t even called Ryan to wish him happy Christmas, ‘I must phone him actually.’

She grabbed her phone and nipped into the garden, wanting a bit of privacy, but Ryan didn’t pick up and she could only leave a voicemail message. Compared to the warmth and laughter that was surrounding her at the house her relationship, or whatever it was, seemed hollow and brittle. She and Ryan looked like the perfect couple on the outside but really there was nothing there. Her phone beeped with a message as she was about to go back inside. At least Ryan had replied. But it wasn’t a message from Ryan. ‘Happy Christmas, Sapphire, I look forward to seeing a lot more of you in the New Year, Markov x.’ God, of all the people contacting her, why did it have to be him? She quickly deleted the message, wishing she could delete Markov as easily away from her life.

She was coming back into the kitchen when finally Jay came downstairs. He’d just showered and he was wearing jeans and a tight black T-shirt. He looked gorgeous. In spite of feeling rattled by Markov contacting her, a shot of pure lust went through Sapphire, while at the same time she felt consumed with nerves, exactly like a shy teenager who finally gets to spend time with the boy she really fancies. She could even feel herself blushing. Pathetic! You are a successful businesswoman with a sexy boyfriend, get a grip, she told herself. But the pep talk was all for nothing, as when Jay came over to wish her happy Christmas she could only mumble back and barely
look him in the eye. In contrast to the impact he had on her, he seemed completely unaffected by her presence. He was polite and friendly, and if he had once been in love with her, no one would ever have known. He and his mum got on with cooking, and refused all offers of help so Sapphire and the others sat by the fire drinking champagne.

‘We should hand out our presents, Sapphire,’ Christine said.

‘Oh no!’ Vicky groaned. ‘I hope you haven’t spent too much, I meant to say only spend a couple of quid – credit crunch and all that.’

Sapphire began pulling presents out of a large carrier bag, eagerly watched by Estelle and Marissa. She had felt so anxious about Christmas Day that she had in fact spent quite a bit on presents for the family – she’d given each of the twins make-up sets from MAC; Clayton a very expensive bottle of whisky; Vicky, some lovely lingerie from the boutique and an iPod for Jay. For the first time that day he looked slightly awkward as he unwrapped it. ‘Thanks Sapphire, that’s wicked, mine has just broken and it’s been a nightmare running without it. But you shouldn’t have.’

‘Your mum mentioned you’d broken it.’

‘But I haven’t got you anything.’ Jay seemed embarrassed.

Sapphire smiled, ‘I’ve got a present from your family and you’ve been generous to ask me and Mum, you don’t need to get me anything.’

For a second they looked at each other, but it didn’t last; Jay looked away.

After a delicious Christmas dinner everyone collapsed on the sofas, too stuffed to move. The twins clamoured to watch the
Doctor
Who
special but Vicky insisted
that they play a game of charades. And when they were done with that they played cards. In spite of the awkwardness of being around Jay, Sapphire hadn’t enjoyed Christmas so much since her dad died. For a day at least it seemed that all her other worries were put on hold. By nine she thought it probably was time to make a move but when she hinted to her mum that they should go, Vicky was having none of it. ‘I’m not having you go back to an empty flat Sapphire! And Christine and Jason are staying here, I’ve made up the spare room. You can have the sofa bed, Sapphire, I insist.’

Sapphire looked at her mum in appeal for support; surely she would see how awkward it would be for Sapphire to stay the night. But her mum was snuggling up with Jason, oblivious to her daughter’s concerns.

Sapphire tried again, ‘But I haven’t got any overnight things.’

‘I can lend you some PJs and I’ve got a new toothbrush you can have, I always carry extras for guests. You’re staying, Sapphire, that’s final. Now who wants to watch a film?’

‘Finally we can have the TV on!’ the twins exclaimed.

They piled onto the sofa next to Jay, leaving just a small space. Sapphire went to sit down on the floor, but Vicky stopped her. ‘Sit next to Jay, for goodness’ sake, or you’ll ruin your skirt. Everyone budge up!’ But even with everyone shifting along there really wasn’t much room and Sapphire found herself sitting so close to Jay that their bodies were touching, so close that she could smell his aftershave. All her senses were on alert by being in right next to him. She watched
Mamma
Mia
, which she’d seen before anyway, in a complete daze. Every fibre of her being was transfixed by being next to Jay. She kept sneaking glances at him, but he never once looked at her.

Around midnight everyone else trooped off to bed and Vicky ordered Jay to make up Sapphire’s bed. Sapphire
felt awkward again as Jay put up the sofa bed in the living room and fetched her a duvet and pillow. As he smoothed out the sheet on the sofa Sapphire had such a pang of longing for him that she thought she might actually cry.

‘Are you sure you’ll be okay down here?’ Jay asked.

The flirty, I can do what I like Sapphire would have replied, ‘Why don’t you test out the bed with me?’ But that Sapphire seemed to be on holiday, right now she was incapable of flirting.

‘Fine,’ she mumbled. ‘Thanks for being so cool about me being here.’

‘Well, my mum wanted to ask you and as you see she always gets her own way, no matter what anyone else thinks.’

Wow, that didn’t seem so friendly. Perhaps the cool, I’m-not-bothered attitude had been a front all along.

‘Well, thank you anyway,’ Sapphire replied, trying not to show how hurt she was by his comment.

‘So didn’t you want to spend Christmas with what’s his name?’ Now he sounded seriously pissed off. ‘I thought he was your ideal man: rich, flash, not interested in commitment.’

Sapphire was stung by Jay’s snide tone of voice. She’d spent the day thinking they could at least be friends but Jay didn’t seem to want that. He actually seemed to dislike her.

‘We get on fine – we just don’t want to spend all our time together is all. We had a week in Vegas recently. I like my space, he likes his.’

‘Vegas,’ Jay seemed to sneer. ‘So you didn’t end up getting married in some Elvis chapel? No, of course you didn’t, Sapphire Jones doesn’t believe in marriage does she?’

He glared at her from across the sofa bed. Sapphire longed to say please let’s be friends, but the proud side of
her vetoed that and she found herself glaring back at him, arms folded defensively across her chest, a ‘come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough’ look on her face.

‘No, I don’t believe in marriage. Ryan knows that and yeah you’re right, we’re pretty well suited. He understands about business, doesn’t put too many demands on me. It’s pretty much a perfect arrangement.’ My God! How easily the lies could pour out of her.