Sapphire (38 page)

Sapphire sat on the opposite end of the sofa to him, and hugged her knees to her chin. Just hearing Jay talk so casually about his life without her made her realise that Jazz was right: she could not go on like this.

‘So you had a good time on Friday with Dean? Luke thought you two would get on.’

Sapphire shook her head. ‘No, Jay, I did not have a good time. Why d’you think I left? I don’t know what Luke’s told you but whatever it was, it isn’t true. I had a totally shit time.’ She paused, ‘But you seemed to have a good time with Carly. Does Luke approve of her? Is she not such a challenge to him?’

Jay looked put on the spot. ‘Carly’s just a friend, we have a laugh.’

God, was he seeing Carly? Sapphire couldn’t take this. She had to tell him how she felt. It was killing her pretending to be casual.

‘I can’t see you any more like this,’ she said quietly.

Immediately Jay got up from the sofa; he seemed angry. ‘Fucking hell! I don’t understand you! You’re the
one who wanted things kept casual, no commitment.’

‘No Jay, not any more.’

Jay glared back at her, as hurt and anger flashed across his face. ‘Well, thanks a lot, Sapphire. Jesus Christ, what a fucking idiot I was to ever get involved with you! I might have known you’d end up screwing me over yet again.’

‘Please, Jay, it’s not like that, just let me explain,’ Sapphire pleaded, stunned that her bid to reveal that she loved him had backfired like this. ‘I need to tell you something.’

But Jay was heading for the door, where he paused and shook his head. ‘No Sapphire I don’t want to hear any more about how I’m too young for you, or how important your business is or whatever. This is it; I never want to see you again.’

And before Sapphire could say anything else he had opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind him.

‘I love you, Jay,’ Sapphire said to the empty room. Then she sank down on the sofa in despair. That was it then. Jay didn’t want anything more to do with her? How was she ever going to tell him that she loved him now?

A WEEK WENT
past. A week when Sapphire thought she was sleepwalking in misery. She could hardly keep it together. Jazz kept coming across her crying in her office. ‘Please, Sapphire, you have got to tell Jay how you feel!’ she urged her. ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t have walked out if you’d told him you loved him.’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure,’ Sapphire said miserably, reaching for yet more tissues.

She felt she had cried more in this past week than she had in her entire life. She didn’t want to do anything other than curl up and cry but Jazz was insisting they went out for a drink that night. Colin was down for the weekend seeing friends and Cal had agreed to come out as well. Finally Sapphire gave in. Maybe it would do her good to go out. Staying in only gave her even more time to brood about Jay.

Sapphire wandered into the Star Bar a little after seven that evening. Jazz, Ben, Cal and Colin were already sitting at a table. They looked vaguely guilty when Sapphire joined them, though quite why she couldn’t fathom. Cal kept checking his watch as they all caught up.

‘Have you got to be somewhere else?’ Sapphire asked when he’d done it for the fifth time.

‘Nope, I’m just expecting a friend,’ Cal said casually, looking over to the door. ‘Yep, here he is.’

Sapphire, expecting to see one of Cal’s footballing friends, almost did a double take when she turned and saw Jay walking towards their table. When he caught sight of Sapphire he stopped and looked as if he was going to turn round and leave there and then. Cal quickly got up from his seat and walked over to him, putting his arm round him and steering him to where Sapphire was sitting.

‘Hi,’ Sapphire said uncertainly, while Jay looked pissed off.

He shot Cal a filthy look. ‘What is this, mate? I didn’t know Sapphire was going to be here.’

‘And she didn’t know you were going to be here,’ Cal replied evenly. ‘But me, Jazz and Colin reckoned it was about time that you two talked. I mean
really
talked. And listened to each other. So why don’t you sit down and do just that?’ And he practically pushed Jay down on the chair opposite Sapphire.

‘What is there to say? She dumped me. End of.’ Jay leant back and folded his arms. He looked furious at being forced into a corner.

Sapphire clenched her fists; part of her wanted to run a mile, part of her knew that this was probably her last chance to tell Jay what she really felt. ‘I didn’t dump you, Jay,’ she said quietly. ‘You didn’t wait to hear what I had to say.’

‘Great, so now I get to hear all over again all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together.’

Cal stood up. ‘Come on, guys, we’re going to leave them to it now.’ Jazz and Colin reluctantly stood up. ‘So you two, sort it out,’ Cal said as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the bar.

‘I feel like I’m suddenly in a scene from
EastEnders
,’ Sapphire tried to joke, desperate to ease the tension.

‘Let’s just have a drink and then go,’ Jay replied. ‘We
can tell them we talked and get them off our backs.’ He had such a hard, set expression on his face. Suddenly Sapphire didn’t know how to reach him. She felt as if she was about to make a leap into the unknown and she knew she had to make it, whatever the consequences.

‘No, Jay, please. I do need to talk to you. The reason why I told you I couldn’t see you any more is because,’ she paused, gathering all her strength; she had not said these words out loud to any man since Alfie, ‘I love you.’

Jay stared at her, he seemed stunned by her declaration.

‘I love you, Jay,’ she said again, ‘and I know you probably don’t want to hear that, I know I probably killed the love you once had for me, but I can’t help it and that’s why I said I couldn’t see you any more. I can’t pretend that I want a casual relationship.’ She looked expectantly at Jay, hardly daring to breathe. She had never felt so raw, so exposed, with all her barriers down, since her father died. ‘And if that means I have to lose you, then I’d rather do that than live a lie.’

‘You love me?’ Jay asked in wonder. ‘Did I really hear you say that?’ He ran his hand over his head. ‘I feel as if I must be dreaming.’

He made no move to get close to her. Sapphire bit her lip and hung her head, waiting to hear the inevitable words of rejection. But they didn’t come.

‘Tell me again,’ Jay said quietly.’ Sapphire looked back at him and saw he was gazing at her intently.

‘I love you, Jay, is it so hard to believe that?’

Jay shook his head and reached out for her hand. ‘Not so hard. I love you too, Sapphire,’ he murmured, ‘I always have. I’m so sorry for what I put you through these past weeks. Luke suggested I test you out and that’s why he got Dean to hit on you.’

‘What?’ Sapphire exclaimed, pulling her hand away from him. ‘He set me up!’ In the midst of the emotional whirlwind which seemed to be tearing through her, she was suddenly angry.

‘I regret it now but Luke thought it would be a good way of finding out if you’d changed. When you went off with Ryan, it did my head in. I was devastated.’

‘But you were the one who left me!’ Sapphire shot back.

‘Only because you made it clear that you didn’t want a committed relationship.’

Now the anger went, she knew exactly how Jay felt because that’s what she’d been feeling recently. Jay stood up and came and sat next to her, putting his arms round her. ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you.’

She slid her arms round him, ‘I’m sorry for everything I did before.’ For a while they held each other, oblivious to the other people in the bar, in their own world.

‘I love you, Sapphire,’ Jay repeated, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, I’m the one who’s sorry, I spent all this time thinking that I was the one who knew what they wanted and instead I pushed away the one man I loved. Well, no more, Jay.’ Suddenly Sapphire knew exactly what she had to do, it was so blindingly obvious to her. She reached for the necklace with the engagement ring on it and squeezed it tight to bring her luck.

‘You once asked me a question, and I didn’t give you the right answer. So now I have to ask you the question,’ she paused to gaze into his deep brown eyes. She had to ask it, even if he rejected her, she had to know. ‘Will you marry me, Jay?’

He gazed back in amazement. ‘You really want this? But I thought you didn’t believe in marriage?’

‘I thought so too, but not any more.’ She bit her lip and squeezed the ring even tighter, the diamonds cutting into her palm.

‘Yes,’ Jay replied, then exclaimed, ‘Yes! I will marry you, Sapphire Jones!’

Sapphire held up the ring, ‘So I can wear this officially now.’

Jay took the ring and removed it from the gold chain. ‘Give me your hand,’ he said and Sapphire held it out for Jay. He gently slid the ring on to her finger where it fitted perfectly. At that there was a loud cheer from the open window. The couple turned round to see Jazz, Colin and Cal giving them the thumbs up.

‘Oh my God! I thought you’d gone. Were you listening?’ Sapphire exclaimed, laughing at the sheer cheek of her friends.

‘No! ‘Colin replied, in mock outrage. ‘We were just having a bit of fresh air. But now I’ve seen the ring, we’re coming back in. Drinks are on me. I love a happy ending, especially when you two took so long to get there.’

‘So you’re really sure about this?’ Jay said later as they lay in bed, tracing his finger round the engagement ring.

Sapphire snuggled into him. ‘More sure than I’ve ever been about anything in my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I think I always knew it, but didn’t want to admit it.’

‘We don’t have to get married, you know. I know how you feel about marriage. It’s enough for us to be together.’

Sapphire shook her head. ‘It’s not enough for me. I want to get married and that’s final.’ She ran her hands over Jay’s rock hard abs, ‘And you know I always get my own way in the end.’