Savory Deceits (5 page)

4

~NENA~

              I was jarred awake at the sound of the telephone, and I sleepily glanced at the clock. Who could be calling me at three in the morning? Still, my head remained on the pillow, and I started to drift back to sleep, but the phone droned on. Annoyed, I picked up the receiver.

“Hello?” I said groggily.

“Hey baby, it’s me. I miss you.” An all too familiar voice said on the other end. Suddenly wide-awake, I sat up, and turned on the lamp.

“Tony! Baby! It is so good to hear from you. I miss you too. How are you? How've you been?” I asked all at once. Since the very few phone calls he made to me were limited, I tried to fit as much information as possible in between those few minutes, before the call ended.

“I'm all right. Just thinking about you, and missing you like crazy. How are you doing?” He asked me.

“Aww baby I'm missing you too, but I’m doing all right. Naima flew in a couple months ago, but she has been at Chris' ever since. It seems like they patched things up really quick.” I said grinning, and I heard him chuckle.

“Oh yeah? That’s what’s up.” He said, sounding pleased.

“Yeah, I’m happy for them too. I hope they can make it work this time. He's good for her. Anyway, how is everything going out there? I have not heard from you in like three months. I was worried.” I said, concerned.

“I know baby, and I’m sorry. The phones were down for a while, and we could not send or receive any emails. It is a little after eleven in the morning for me right now. There's an eight hour time difference, between here and the states, so I'm sorry for calling you so late like this.” He said, realizing what time it was for me.

“Oh no, it's okay. I'm just so happy to hear from you. I feel so alone sometimes. I miss you so much babe. I wish you were here.” I said, in a pout.

“Don't worry baby. I'll be home soon. There are only a couple more months to go. How's my kitty cat?” He asked, and I smiled, biting my lower lip. I found his reference to my genitalia so silly, and yet so enticing as well.

“She’s doing just fine, but is missing you like crazy.” I responded, playing along.

              “Oh, yeah? Are you getting her all ready for big daddy to come home?” He asked, attributing his manhood. I smiled again.

“She’s been ready.” I replied seductively, rubbing my finger against my clitoris. Then, I heard someone’s voice on a loud speaker in the background.

“Damn! I have to go baby. I just called to say I love you, and I want you to know that I’m thinking of you always.” He said. I sighed, disappointed.

“I love you too babe. Be careful.” I quickly said.

“I will. Love you. Bye.” He said, and then the line went dead. I replaced the receiver, and fell back onto the bed, disillusioned. It did not take long, for the loneliness I felt during his absence, to settle back in. I did not realize how much I missed him, until I heard his voice.

~NAIMA~

“Morning,” Chris said when he walked into the bedroom.

In his hand, was a brown paper bag that he got from the bakery up the street, near his apartment building. He set the bag on the bed next to me, and then took a seat in the chair across the room. I got a whiff of the bag’s contents, and my stomach growled.

"Mm, that smells good.” I said, opening the bag. The smell of fresh bagels flooded my nostrils, and my mouth began to water. I took the cinnamon raisin bagel from the bag, and sunk my teeth into the warm soft bread. Since that night we first made love a few months ago, I had practically moved in with Chris. I never really saw myself as the homemaker type before, but I had to admit, I could sure get used to the idea. Although Chris, and I, had never talked about getting married, given the fact that we just got back together, I sure loved entertaining the idea. I loved waking up in his arms, and I loved being there when he came home from work. I cooked and cleaned for him while I was there, and I did his laundry and ironed his clothes as well. We made love practically every night. On the surface, everything seemed perfect between us, but I could not ignore the sinking feeling I was beginning to feel inside me. As I watched him remove his boots, and his jeans, my mind continued wandering. I knew Chris loved me, but I now began to realize that for some reason, since I have been back, he had never actually told me that he did, and that bothered me. In retrospect, I knew that it was going to take some time for him to trust me again with his heart, but it still hurt that he never said those words back to me.

“Hey, where’d you go off to just now? You okay?” He asked, now watching me. I had not noticed that he stopped undressing, and I wondered how long he stood there studying me. I gave him a half smile, and put the half-eaten bagel back in its bag. Then, I waited to swallow the last morsels of food in my mouth, before speaking.

“I’m okay. I was just thinking that's all. It’s nothing.” I said, trying to dismiss my feelings.

“It doesn't seem like nothing. Talk to me.” He urged. Then, I looked at him for a moment, before speaking.

“I was just thinking...and wondering...” I paused, meeting his eyes again. Then he raised his brows, waiting for me to continue. “Why don't you tell me you love me anymore? I mean, I know you do, but why don't you ever say it? You used to tell me all the time, but now...I don't know.” I stopped and looked away, suddenly embarrassed. Then I heard him breathe out heavily, as if I were trying his patience, and that prompted me to look back at him. He seemed to be deep in thought, but gave me no answer. A few more minutes passed, and I waited. His silence was deafening. I could not have felt any more awkward had I been standing naked at a train station. To save face, I pushed the bag of bagels aside, and ran to the bathroom.

“Nai, wait,” he called after me, but I closed the door behind me. I did not want him to see my tears. I did not want him to see how much I was hurting, because deep down inside, I knew that I had no right to feel this way; especially after the heartache, I had already put him through.

~TONY~

“Hot sauce?” I offered, twisting the bottle top open, and then pouring it onto my plate first.

“Sure.” Alana replied, sitting across the table from me on the mess deck. I poured a generous amount onto her plate, before replacing the top, and then setting the bottle down.

“My, aren't you quite the gentlemen.” She said with a smile.

“I wish my wife could hear you say that.” I joked.

“How long have you two been married?” She asked me.

“Four years.” I replied, picking up a piece of chicken from my plate, and popping it into my mouth.

“You love her, don't you?” Alana said, sounding as though that were more of a statement, than a question. Between chews, I looked at her untouched plate, and smiled, shaking my head at her. She was obviously too into me, to act like a normal human being, and eat. Why do women always act as if they are not hungry in front of men? That was just silly. We all know you shit, fart, and stuff your face. So why pretend? In any case, watching her was very entertaining, so I decided to humor her.

“Yes, of course I love my wife. What kind of question is that?” Then, she smiled again, appearing delighted to have struck up a conversation with me. I had been ignoring her advances towards me for months, until now.

“An honest one,” she replied. Then, I sat back and crossed my arms, curious at her open line of questioning.

“If I didn’t love her, she wouldn't be my wife, now would she?” I gauged. Alana then leaned forward, breasts pushed tightly together underneath her dress white uniform.

“Yeah that's true,” she said, “but this is the Navy we're talking about, where you get highly compensated, just for having a fucking marriage license. You wouldn't believe how many counterfeit marriages there are out there, especially in the military.” She now sat back, and crossed her arms at me. Then, I relaxed a little, intrigued, no less. She did make an excellent point after all. With the hefty amount Sailors get, in the basic allowance for housing, it would not be far-fetched to say that some tend to ‘marry,’ for that financial boost in income. So, I conceded.

“Yeah I know, but it's not like that with us. This is the real thing.” I assured her.

“I hope so.” She said with a wink. I started to defend my marriage again, but stopped, when I realized the hidden context behind her response. Her smirk was so telling.

“What are you doing?” I questioned. She was bold, I’ll give her that.

“What do you want me to do?” She flirted. I found her confidence unbelievably sexy, but still, I had to rein it in.

“Look, you need to chill out cause I’m spoken for honey.” I joked, mocking the annoying cat-like voice of one of our superiors. Alana laughed, undeniably more smitten with me. On that last note, I polished the rest of the food off my plate, and stood up. “Hey, you're cute and all, but I love my wife. And I won't do anything to jeopardize what she and I have.” I said, before turning to leave.

“Is that so?” Alana challenged.

“Yes. It is.” I said sternly, but then smiled again. I could not help playing with her.

“I know I’m irresistible.” I joked again, before leaving the table.

Later that night, lying in my rack with my hands behind my head, I stared up at the pictures of Nena’s beautiful face, posted above me. I wanted her to be the first thing I saw in the morning when I woke up, and the last thing I saw before I went to sleep. Her images kept me grounded, and out of trouble. It has been four and a half months, since we last saw each other, and I was getting anxious. My right wrist was starting to feel sore from all the self-gratification I have been doing. Four months was a very long time for a man to go without sex; hell, thirty days is pushing it. I have not seen, touched, or held my wife in so long, and it was killing me. I missed her so much. I wonder what she could be doing right now at this very moment. Looking over at the clock that read 11:59pm, I rolled over, and closed my eyes. As I let myself doze off, thoughts of Nena continued to run through my mind. No one has ever made me feel the way she has. She had brought joy and happiness into my life, when there was nothing but darkness. She was the one who encouraged me to go after my dream of becoming a Sailor. I had big plans for my future, and I was grateful that Nena was standing by my side, the way a woman should always stand by her man. I wanted her to have my baby so bad, because I have always wanted to be a dad. With my two little eight-year-old twin sisters, Trina and Misty, back home in Wisconsin, I wondered how mom and dad were handling them now, with me gone. Those two can be quite the little terrors. When I get back to the states, I am going to take leave, and go visit them. Since I was her only boy, mom kept asking me when I am going to give her grandchildren. As far as I was concerned, I had no problem trying for a baby as soon as I got back. It was about time Nena and I, expanded our family.

5

~NENA~

I was surprised to see Naima sitting on my couch, in the middle of the day, when I came home.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” She asked me.

“Um, I live here,” I said, dropping my keys and books on the foyer table. “The question is what are you doing here? Aren’t
you
supposed to be at work, or better yet, at Chris’?” I said back to her. I kicked off my heels, and joined her in the living room. Then, I took a seat in my recliner, and put my feet up on the ottoman in front of it.

“What’s up? Don't tell me trouble in paradise already?” I said.

“No, of course not,” She lied. She was always terrible at it.

“Come on, talk to me. What’s wrong?” I said, reaching for the pint-sized, strawberry ice cream carton that sat on the end table by the sofa, near Naima. The mini tub was already half empty, when I took a big spoonful into my mouth, and waited for her to speak.

“I don't know,” Naima began, “I guess it's nothing. I mean, everything's been going great between Chris and me,”

“I’ve noticed.” I said, smiling. Naima stopped, and then scowled at me.

“I’m sorry.” I said, taking another spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to refrain from commenting. I ate quietly, and gave her my undivided attention.

“Everything’s been going great with us, but I get the feeling that he’s trying to pull away from me.” She said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, my interest peaking. Naima hesitated before continuing.

“He’s just been…it’s hard to explain. I know this may sound a little foolish, but I have a problem with the fact that he won’t tell me he loves me.” A bit confused, I said nothing, and waited for her to elaborate.

“I mean,” she continued, “I know he loves me, and I love him too, so very much. The fact that he will not say it bothers me. He used to tell me that all the time, but now when I say it, his response to me is either a smile, a nod, or just a simple 'me too'. He never says the words. And now, I’m beginning to wonder if it was a good idea to get back together with him.” I could see she was holding back tears; therefore, I set the ice cream down, left the recliner, and joined her on the sofa.