Savory Deceits (7 page)

“I don’t know. I mean, I know I do, but...not as I used to, I guess. After everything that has happen,” he stopped again, and then shook his head, “it's hard to explain.”

“Trust me; I know exactly how you feel.” I said nodding. I knew all too well, what he was feeling.

“Do you?” He asked, looking at me.

“When someone you love so much, does something to hurt you so badly, it changes everything. Including the love, you thought you had for that person. Once you get back with them, it's never the same.” I explained, thinking about my marriage, and Chris nodded. “It's sort of like,” I continued, “breaking your favorite toy, and when you finally get it fixed, it never really seems to work as well as it did, before you broke it. Get what I’m saying?”

“Yeah I do. So you do understand where I’m coming from,” he said, meeting my eyes. I stared back at him empathizing with his situation. There was so much depth in his eyes, as if there was so much more, that he was not saying. Somehow, once again, his gaze seemed to paralyze me. I wanted to look away, but this time I could not. There was something about Chris, and something about the way he looked at me; those green eyes that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it was because of the shared emotional suffering we endured over our partners, which is something they just could not comprehend. Chris understood my pain, and my reluctance to trust Tony again after his affair, and I understood Chris’ apprehension where my sister was concerned. The connection I began to feel with Chris was evident, and I could not fathom what was happening between us right now. I felt drawn to him in a form that went way beyond just being friends. I yearned to feel this way with my husband. I wanted Tony to understand my feelings the way Chris did. Chris listened to me, and he was always there for me when I needed him to be, when my sister could not. He was the one who helped me through that terrible time, when I caught Tony cheating. That is how much Chris cared for me. He chose his friendship with me, over his friendship with Tony, when our marriage almost ended. They have been friends for years, but Chris has always been like a big brother to me. So why did I now, find myself falling for him?

~CHRIS~

“Hey. I called the ship, and they said you left there a couple hours ago. Where have you been?” Naima asked me, as soon as I walked through the door. Instantly, annoyed by her presence, I gave her an agitated look.

“I didn't know I needed to check in with you every five minutes.” I snapped, before disappearing into my bedroom.

“What's the matter with you, huh?” She demanded, walking into the room behind me. “Where did this attitude of yours come from? Ever since we decided to get back together...” she began.

“No,” I said cutting her off, “
we
never decided anything. I never agreed to any of this. You just moved yourself in here, without so much as talking to me about it first.” I said, trying to control my anger. Naima stared at me for a moment, and then got angry too.

“Well, you never complained all those nights we were fucking each other!” She shot back. I glared at her, and then she stopped, and took a breath. “C'mon be for real. This is more than just my moving in here. Something is up with you. I can tell. What is it Chris? Talk to me.” She looked at me with pleading eyes, as if she was desperately trying to figure me out. Then, she sat on the bed, and motioned for me to sit down next to her, but I remained standing.

“Look Nai, right now, everything is just moving a little too fast for me, and I need some time to think things through. Your being here isn't helping any.” I said to her, trying to be as straight forward as I possibly could. She then stood up, apparently not expecting me to say what she just heard.

“What are you saying?” She asked me.

“What I’m saying is that I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here. I don't think it's a good idea for us to be living together like this. I'm just not ready for that type of relationship with you yet.” I explained. Then, she looked away, trying to hide her tears, no doubt. I knew her too well.

“Why so? Is there someone else?” She asked, staring at my blinds. I paused, because I did not know how to answer that question. Technically, there was no one else, but I could not stop thinking about Nena. Her smile, and those light brown eyes of hers, always seemed to make me weak. Whenever she was near me, I would feel this heat arise within me, the way drinking vodka felt, sliding down my throat, burning up my insides. Then, there were those luscious lips of hers that I so desperately wanted to taste. Unbeknownst to anyone, I had always had a thing for Nena, ever since I met her, but Tony got to her first. A part of me resented my best friend for it, and another part of me felt like Tony did not deserve her. My relationship with Naima was great while it lasted, but she was never my first choice; more like a consolation prize. I often fantasized about what Nena looked like under those conservative clothes she wore. Moreover, those big breasts of hers with nipples that always seemed to be hard…

I then shook my head, snapping out of my daydream, to find Naima staring me down. I could not keep leading her on like this, not until I got my priorities straight, and refocus my mission. Sex with Naima served as a distraction, and frankly, it had run its course. Apparently, my silence told her more, than she was willing to know.

“You know what? Do not bother answering that, because I can clearly see the answer written all over your face. I'll show myself out.” After that, she stormed out of my bedroom, and out the front door.

“Nai,” I called after her, but she ignored me. Next, I sat on the bed, wondering if I should go after her. Yes, she and I had a history, but she screwed all that up on her own. I no longer felt the same way about her. My feelings for her had long since dissipated, and I knew for sure that I did not love her, the way I used to. At least not like the way, that I now know, I love Nena.

~NAIMA~

How could he do this to me? I thought, as I ran down the hall, away from his apartment. After all I went through to be with him, I thought again, with tears stinging my eyes. How could he hurt me like this? How could he? How could he? A million questions formed in my head that started pounding at the right side of my temple. Tears rolled down my cheeks, as I proceeded to run out of the building, and into the rain. I have never loved any man as much as I loved Chris. My heart was aching. How could he? I kept asking myself, as I continued to run, ignoring my surroundings. I darted to the left, and then suddenly crossed the street, when a car came to a screeching halt.

Disregardful of almost getting run over, I continued to run.

“Nai!” Someone called after me. Could it be Chris, who had come after me?

“Nai!” No. It was a woman's voice. Then, I stopped, and turned around. Nena jumped out of her car, with umbrella in hand, and ran over to me.

“Nai, what are you doing out here in the rain like this?” She asked when she finally reached me. Although the rain masked my tears, I could feel the mascara cake around my eyes, and running down my face; making me look like a drowned raccoon, I was sure.

“C'mon, let me take you home.” She said leading me back to her car.

~NENA~

Back at my place, Naima showered, and retreated to my guest bedroom. She was on the bed, and under the covers, when I entered the room, carrying two mugs filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows. Then, she sat up as I handed one to her.

“Thanks.” She said looking very worn, and tired, from crying.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. She nodded, before putting the mug to her lips. I sat down next to her, and waited patiently for her to tell me what happened.

“Chris, and I, had a big fight. That's why you saw me flying down the street, like a bat out of hell.” We both chuckled at her attempted humor.

“What happened?” I asked her, on a more serious note.

“I don't know. I just had to get out of there. It's just that lately, he hasn't really been himself, you know. And I tried to talk to him about it earlier, but…” she then stopped, and shook her head. Next, she looked down at her mug. “I get the feeling that there’s something, or someone else on his mind that’s keeping him preoccupied. You should have seen the look on his face when I asked him about it.” She said, and I looked away, trying to shield my guilt. There was something going on, between Chris, and me. I was not sure as to what, but I knew it was there. I tried to fight it, for the sake of my sister and my marriage, but the emotions that I felt towards him was getting stronger. Being around him was becoming increasingly difficult, because masking my feelings for him was not easy. He made me nervous, and very much aware, of the way certain parts of my body came alive, in his presence. The way he talks to, and shows his love and support for me, tugs at my heartstrings. He made me feel uneasy, but at the same time, loved. Even so, I have been avoiding Chris, ever since I became aware of my feelings for him. I did not want to face, or confront, what was happening between us. I was not ready for that. I wanted so bad to confide in my sister about it, but how can I? It would devastate her.

“What's wrong? Why are you so quiet?” I heard Naima say. Then, I looked up, to find her staring at me.

“I'm sorry. It's nothing. You were saying?” I said, shifting the conversation back to her.

“I said that I can't go back there, but all my stuff is there. Can you go to Chris' and pick them up for me?” She asked, taking my hand. “I'm not ready to face him just yet. I need some time to get over this humiliation.” She explained. I hesitated before answering.

“Sure. No problem.” I said.

“Thanks girl.” Naima replied.

~TONY~

“Aren't you going to come in?” She asked me, with lips curving upwards, into that seductive smile of hers. I hesitated, before stepping into Alana's hotel room. The lights were very dim, and I caught the distinct smell of burning lavender scented candles. After closing the door behind me, Alana slowly moved past me, towards the bed. She wore a short satin robe that accentuated every curve of her hourglass figure.

“So, what made you change your mind?” She asked, stopping short of the bed, before turning to face me.

The top half of her robe shifted, and I got a glimpse of her cleavage. Then, feeling aroused, I took a few steps towards her.

“About what?” I asked her, trying to think with my brain, and not my member. Nothing about this felt right. Yes, I was extremely horny, and Alana was beyond sexy, but Nena was my heart.

“About me. I have been coming on to you for months now, and you never even gave me the time of day, until now. What happened? Couldn't take the heat anymore?” She asked, lowering herself onto the queen-sized bed. Then, I got another glimpse, of what she did not wear under that robe, when she crossed her right leg, atop her left one. She was obviously trying to seduce me, which I found very hard to resist. A woman like her had an incredibly stimulating sex appeal, and I desperately needed some release. When I felt my dick rising, I quickly filled the space between us. Then, without a word, I bent down and kissed her. Next, she pushed herself back onto the bed with her arms, as I climbed in on top of her. I loosened the belt on her robe, and let it fall away, exposing her well-oiled, naked skin. As a result, she pulled my shirt up, and began fumbling with my belt buckle. Then, she gripped the bulge beneath my pants with one hand, and managed to zip my jeans down with the other. My mouth was on her breasts now, nibbling at her protrusive mounds, when my conscience began to take over. What am I doing? I suddenly thought. I should not be here. I heard Alana moan, as my adulterated lust, and my conscience, battled it out. Lord knows I love my wife, but my dick was so hard that it started to hurt. Exhaustively freed, from its denim cage, I felt her warm hand on my shaft, guiding it towards her opening. Then, somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard myself promise Nena that I would never hurt her again. I envisioned her tears, and her broken heart, as I confessed my latest betrayal. Alana now tightened her grip around my shaft, and it was taking a whole lot of self-control, for me not to ram it inside her. Then, Nena’s face flashed in my mind again, and I knew I could not do this. While my dick began to take over, and push past my reluctances, I willed myself to stop. I knew this was a mistake, and that I should not have come. With that last thought, I quickly rolled off Alana and stood up, refastening my pants.

“What are doing? What's wrong?” She asked sitting up, closing her robe.

“I'm married, and I shouldn't be doing this. That's what's wrong.” I replied.