Sean's Reckoning (6 page)

After observing this same ritual for an entire after
noon, Sean finally decided he’d had enough. Since Hank wouldn’t answer his questions, he decided to try Ruby. He sent Kevin off to the kitchen to bring back sodas for all of them.

“You and Hank have a fight?” he inquired as casually as possible.

Ruby regarded him with an unflinching gaze. “No. Why do you ask?”

Sean shrugged, uncomfortable in his unfamiliar role as meddler. “Seemed for a while as if you two were really hitting it off. Now it doesn’t.”

Her expression brightened. “Sort of like you and Deanna?”

He frowned at that. “Who said anything about Deanna?”

“Since we’re discussing our personal lives, I figured it was a fair question. You going to ask her out?”

Sean was flustered by the question. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Why not? Didn’t you enjoy kissing her?” Ruby asked bluntly.

He groaned. He’d thought that was a relatively well-kept secret. “She told you about that?”

“Not willingly,” Ruby admitted with a grin. “I pried it out of her.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and wished he had the power to make himself sink through the floor. “Yeah, well, that was probably a mistake.”

“Me prying or you kissing?”

He chuckled despite himself. “Probably both.”

“You regret kissing her?” she asked, clearly disappointed. “Because I don’t think she does. I think she’s scared, not sorry.”

Sean was intrigued by her interpretation. “Why would she be scared?”

“Because she hasn’t dated much since Frankie left. The scumbag really destroyed her self-confidence, if you know what I mean. She doesn’t trust her own judgment when it comes to men, so she avoids all of them.”

Sean studied her with a narrowed gaze. “Is there a point to all this insight you’re sharing with me?”

“Just that you’re the first guy she’s shown any interest in. Add to that the fact you’re a nice guy, and that makes you the perfect candidate to help her get her feet wet.” She surveyed him closely. “Unless that kiss scared you, too. Is that it, Sean? Are you as much of a coward as she is?”

Sean ignored the taunt. “Who told you I was a nice guy?”

“Nobody told me. I
am
a good judge of men. Not that you could tell it by the one I married, but I learned a lot from that mistake. My standards have improved.”

“Is that why you ended things with Hank?”

She regarded him with surprise. “Who said I ended things with Hank?”

“I just thought…”

“You thought I’d dumped him because I figured out that he’s a big flirt.”

“To be honest, yes.”

Ruby patted his cheek. “Honey, that just makes him a challenge,” she said.

Shaking his head, Sean watched her as she sashayed off toward the kitchen in search of Kevin. He had to give her credit. She understood Hank probably better than Hank understood himself, which raised an inter
esting point. Did she understand
him,
too?
Was
he avoiding Deanna because he was a coward?

Yep, no question about it. With his reputation on the line, he picked up the phone on the wall, took a slip of wrinkled paper from his pocket and dialed her number at the restaurant. He was relieved when Deanna was the one who answered on the first ring.

“Ruby, is that you?”

“No, it’s Sean.”

“Oh.”

“I thought maybe we could go out for dinner sometime. Are you interested?”

Silence greeted the blunt question, then she finally demanded, “Did Ruby put you up to this?”

Sean chuckled. “Sweetheart, Ruby may be able to manipulate your pal Joey, but she doesn’t get to me.”

“That doesn’t mean she didn’t try. I know she and Kevin are over there.”

“Look, leave Ruby out of this. It’s a simple question. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime or not? Yes or no?”

“You could come by Joey’s,” she conceded eventually. “We could eat together when I take my break.”

Sean bit back a grin at her attempt to avoid being on a real date with him. “As attractive as that offer is, I think I’d prefer a time and place when I can have your undivided attention.”

“Why?”

Sean barely smothered a laugh. He was tempted to suggest that she must not date much if she couldn’t figure out the answer to that one herself, but he decided that would probably just infuriate her. If Ruby was telling him the truth, she really
didn’t
date much.

“So we’ll have time to talk,” he said instead.

“About what?” she asked suspiciously.

This time he did laugh. “The weather. Kevin. Hank and Ruby. The Red Sox. Whatever we decide we want to talk about. We’re adults. We have varied backgrounds. The possibilities are endless.”

“Oh.”

“Deanna, this isn’t a trap,” he said gently. “I just thought you might enjoy a night out with somebody waiting on
you
for a change. There’s no hidden agenda.” He hesitated, then, unable to resist teasing her just a bit, he added, “I won’t even kiss you again unless you ask me to.”

He waited for a response, but she remained perfectly quiet. “Would you be more interested if I said I
would
kiss you?” he asked.

She laughed, although it sounded to him as if her laughter was a little choked.

“That’s what I was waiting to hear, of course,” she said gamely. She drew in a deep breath. “This invitation of yours—it’s not very specific. Are you just testing the waters, or did you have a particular night in mind?”

“First night we’re both free,” he said at once, ridiculously pleased that she was considering the invitation. “I’m off tonight and tomorrow night, then again over the weekend. How’s your schedule?”

“I’m working tonight and tomorrow night and over the weekend,” she said.

“Including Sunday night?”

“No. Actually I’m off by three on Sunday afternoon, but I’m usually pretty beat. I don’t know what kind of company I’d be. And that’s usually the time I reserve for Kevin.”

“Then bring him along,” Sean said, seizing on the
excuse to avoid risking another one of those sizzling kisses. “I don’t mind.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not,” he said with total sincerity. “He’s a terrific kid. Besides, you know I’d be the last person to want to steal some of your time with him.”

“Then Sunday sounds good,” she said.

“I’ll pick you up at five. We’ll make it an early evening, since Kevin has school the next day.” It also meant less time with Deanna on a sultry spring night when the senses tended to take over.

“Perfect,” she said, sounding oddly relieved, as well.

If they weren’t a sorry pair, Sean thought wryly as he hung up. He wasn’t sure which of them was worse. Bottom line, they were both cowards.

Which raised an interesting point. Neither of them would have a thing to fear if there were no attraction at work between them. That meant they were both terrified for a reason. And it went back to that kiss.

So, he concluded happily, he had absolutely nothing to fear as long as he didn’t kiss her again.

Of course, as soon as he hit on that as the perfect solution, the desire to do the exact opposite and kiss her senseless slammed into him and wouldn’t let go. Sunday night began to loom as a monumental test of his willpower. He had this gut-deep feeling he was going to lose.

R
uby listened to Deanna’s announcement that Sean was taking her and Kevin out to dinner on Sunday without saying a word.

“Well, say something,” Deanna finally said. “I thought you’d be dancing around the room. This is what you’ve been hoping for, isn’t it?”

“Actually, what I was hoping for was you and Sean, all alone in some romantic setting where you could pick up where that kiss left off,” Ruby retorted. “Have you lost your mind? The first sexy man you’ve been attracted to in years asks you on a date, and you’re taking your five-year-old son along?”

Deanna frowned. “Sean didn’t seem to mind.”

“No, I don’t imagine he did,” Ruby scoffed. “He may be the only person in Boston more terrified than you are of having a real relationship.”

“And you reached this conclusion how?”

“By talking to him,” Ruby explained with exaggerated patience. “It’s a fascinating concept. You should try it sometime.”

They were interrupted by the sound of the buzzer from downstairs.

“That’s probably Sean,” Deanna said, actually relieved by the interruption. For once, seeing Sean seemed preferable to listening to any more of Ruby’s analysis of her cowardice. “Will you get it, while I go and hurry Kevin along?”

“If it weren’t for the fact that your son would be disappointed by having to stay home after you’ve promised him an evening with his hero, I would never let you get away with this,” Ruby said, her expression grim.

Deanna frowned at her. “It’s not your call.”

Ruby sighed. “No, sadly, that’s true.” She waved Deanna out of the room. “Go. Fetch Kevin. I’ll get the door. Maybe I’ll have more luck explaining to Sean how real, grown-up dates are supposed to work.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Deanna warned, almost afraid to leave her friend alone with Sean. Ruby rarely hesitated to speak her mind.

“Oh, go on,” Ruby ordered. “I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

Deanna left the room reluctantly. To her relief, when she returned—without Kevin, who was still in the bathroom—Ruby and Sean were discussing baseball, not the rules of dating.

“Hank’s a big baseball fan, too,” Sean said, his expression completely innocent. “Maybe we could all go to a Red Sox game sometime.”

“Sure,” Ruby said easily, surprising Deanna with her ready agreement.

Sean seemed taken aback, as well, but he rallied quickly. “I’ll talk to Hank and work on getting the tickets, then. You and Kevin up for it, Deanna?”

“Kevin would be thrilled,” Deanna said honestly.

Sean’s gaze locked with hers. “And you?”

She flushed under the intensity of his gaze. “Sure. I’d love to go.” What could be safer than a ballpark, surrounded by thousands of screaming fans, one of them her five-year-old son? If there was a way for Kevin to continue seeing Sean from time to time that wouldn’t put her heart at risk, she was willing to consider it.

She caught the knowing glint in Sean’s eyes and realized he had a pretty good idea of exactly what was going through her mind. Before she could think of some way to extricate herself, Kevin thundered down the hall and launched himself at Sean.

“This is so cool,” he said from his perch on Sean’s shoulder. “Where are we gonna go?”

“That’s up to you and your mom,” Sean told him. “What kind of food do you like?”

“I like pizza,” Kevin said at once.

“I think we can do better than pizza tonight,” Sean said, his gaze steady on Deanna. “How about seafood? Or Chinese?”

“Mom likes Chinese,” Kevin admitted, his face scrunched up in disgust. “I think it’s yucky.”

Sean laughed. “Okay then, no Chinese food. Steak? Burgers?”

“A great burger sounds good to me,” Deanna said. That would mean the kind of casual place where Kevin would feel comfortable and she wouldn’t have to worry quite so much about him misbehaving. They hadn’t been to a lot of fancy restaurants, not on her
income. Joey’s was the cream of the crop, and most of the regulars there considered Kevin a surrogate grandson.

“Then I know just the spot,” Sean told her. “It’s not too far from here. We can walk.”

For the life of her Deanna couldn’t think of a single good hamburger place in the neighborhood, but she trailed along beside Sean, content to listen to her son’s nonstop barrage of questions and Sean’s patient responses. She tried to imagine Frankie showing such patience and couldn’t. It was a solid reminder that those occasional regrets she had about his absence from his son’s life were wasted.

“Here we are,” Sean announced as they reached an apartment building half a dozen blocks from her place.

Deanna gave him a quizzical look.

“There’s no place in town that makes a hamburger any better than mine,” he said. “And it just so happens that I went grocery shopping earlier.” He studied her intently. “You okay with this?”

She managed to nod. The truth was that she felt a small quiver of anticipation in the pit of her stomach at the prospect of seeing where he lived. The building was certainly unpretentious, but the lawn around it was well tended. There were flowers blooming in pots beside the front door. A half dozen children were playing catch on the stretch of grass. She saw Kevin studying them enviously.

Apparently, Sean saw the same thing. He waved at the kids. “Hey, Davey, Mark, come on over here.”

Two dark-haired boys broke away from the others and ran to Sean, regarding him with the same adulation that was usually evident on Kevin’s face, though these boys were around ten or twelve.

“This is my friend Kevin,” Sean told them. “Would you mind letting him play with you guys while I’m getting our dinner ready? Is that okay with you, Deanna? He’ll be fine. Davey and Mark are very responsible. They look out for their kid brothers all the time.”

“It’s okay with us,” one of the boys replied.

“Please, Mom?” Kevin begged.

She grinned at his eagerness to abandon the adults—even his beloved Sean—in favor of playing catch with some older boys. “If Sean thinks it’s okay and the boys don’t mind, it’s fine with me.”

“All right!” Kevin said, racing after the others as they loped back to their game.

Deanna stood looking after him. He was growing up so fast, and she was missing so much of it, thanks to her work schedule. In that instant she could see as plainly as she ever had that she was shortchanging not only Kevin but herself. Unfortunately, she couldn’t see any way around it, not unless the courts managed to track down the errant Frankie and extract all the child-support payments he’d missed over the years.

“You don’t need to worry about Kevin. Davey and Mark live right downstairs from me. Their mom keeps an eye on them out her window, and you’ll be able to see them from my kitchen window, too.”

Deanna forced a smile. “I’m being silly and overprotective, aren’t I?”

“No, of course not. You can never be too careful in this day and age, but this neighborhood is as safe as any in town. I wouldn’t have suggested letting Kevin play if it weren’t. And there’s always a parent within earshot.”

Deanna studied him closely, realizing with a sense
of amazement that he took the safety of all these children as personally as if they were his own. “Something tells me you keep a close eye on things when you’re around, as well.”

He shrugged. “I do what I can. Now let’s get out of here before we cramp their style.” Reaching for her hand, he led her inside and up the narrow stairs.

“The kitchen’s this way,” he said as soon as they’d walked into his apartment.

Deanna wondered at his eagerness to keep her from looking around. “Did you forget to straighten up this morning?” she asked, deliberately lagging behind him.

Sean stopped and stared at her, evidently bewildered by the teasing question. “What?”

“You seem to be in a rush to get me into the kitchen. I figure that’s because you left your underwear scattered all over or something.”

“Hey, I’m no slob,” he protested with feigned indignation. “I thought you’d be in a hurry to look outside and check on Kevin, make sure you could keep an eye on him.”

“You told me he’d be safe,” she reminded him.

“And you trust my judgment?”

“When it comes to my son, yes,” she said, surprised to realize that it was true. If there was one thing she believed with all her heart, it was that Sean would never deliberately put her child—any child—at risk. She was surprised by the expression that washed over his face. Relief, maybe. Even a hint of wonder.

“Just like that?” he asked.

“Not just like that,” she countered, astounded that he would doubt her faith in his reliability. “I’ve seen you with Kevin several times now. I saw how those
boys outside look up to you. And I’ve talked to you myself. You’re a good guy, Sean, especially when it comes to kids.”

“Thanks. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

“Why? You have to know you’re great with kids.”

“I don’t know about that,” he said.

“Of course you are,” she insisted. “You know what surprises me, though?”

“What?”

“As much as you obviously love children, I can’t believe you don’t have some of your own.”

His expression promptly shut down. “Not going to happen,” he said tightly.

“Why on earth not?”

“You know why,” he said. “What the hell does a man with my background know about raising a family?”

Deanna met his tormented gaze directly. “It seems to me if anyone knows what
not
to do when it comes to raising kids, it’s you,” she said, gently but with complete conviction.

He seemed startled by her statement. “Doesn’t mean I could stick it out, any more than my folks could.”

“You’re not giving yourself much credit,” she accused.

“For good reason. Those are the genes I’ve got running through me.”

“You said you’ve been in touch with one brother recently. Does he feel the same way?”

“Pretty much,” he said, then hesitated. “Or at least he did.”

“What changed his mind?”

“He met someone, fell in love.”

“And got married?” Deanna guessed.

Sean nodded.

“And he’s braver than you are? I doubt that,” she scoffed.

“It’s not about being brave,” he retorted.

“Sure it is. Every marriage requires a leap of faith, even for people who don’t have lousy examples all around them. The same holds true for having kids. They don’t come with instruction manuals. Even the best baby books don’t really prepare you for the day-in, day-out realities. But thousands—probably even millions—of people have babies for the first time every year. These parents survive, and so do the kids.”

He grinned. “All this talk about bravery from a woman who didn’t even want to go out on a date because the prospect scared her,” he teased.

Deanna winced at the accurate accusation. “I’m not scared of dating,” she muttered.

“Oh? Must be me, then. Are you scared of me, Deanna?” He stepped closer as he spoke, then reached out and traced the curve of her jaw, sending a shudder through her.

“No,” she whispered, but it was evident to both of them that it was a lie. She was sure he could feel her trembling, feel the heat climbing into her cheeks.

“I want to kiss you again,” he said, as if he weren’t especially happy about it.

Because she had something to prove, she faced him with her jauntiest expression. “Then why don’t you?” she dared him.

He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. “You mean that?”

The truth was, she thought she might die if she
didn’t feel his lips on hers in the next ten seconds. She nodded.

“Well then, I suppose it would be wrong of me to let a lady down,” he said, slowly lowering his head until his mouth was a scant fraction of an inch above hers.

“Very wrong,” she agreed as his lips met hers.

The explosion of need was every bit as violent and overwhelming as it had been the first time he’d kissed her. Deanna lost herself in the swirl of dark, tempting sensations, letting herself rock forward until she was crushed against him. Heat from his body surrounded her, pulling her in, making her crave more.

What on earth was she doing? This was exactly what she’d told herself to avoid at all costs. Her senses were swimming, filled with the taste and feel of Sean as he devoured her with that kiss. He shifted, and she felt the edge of the counter at her back, the hard press of his arousal against her hip. There was an odd sense of comfort in knowing that he wanted her as desperately as she wanted him, that he had as little control over his responses as she did.

“Mom! Sean!”

The sound of Kevin’s shouts and the thunder of footsteps on the stairs tore them apart. Deanna barely resisted the urge to turn and splash cold water on her face before her son ran into the room. She noted that Sean deliberately turned his back to the room, dragging in deep gulps of air to steady himself before facing Kevin.

“In here,” she called, her voice shaky.

Kevin raced through the door, then skidded to a stop. He studied her worriedly, then looked at Sean. “You guys aren’t fighting, are you?”

“No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“’Cause you look all funny, kinda like Hank and Ruby when they’re fighting.”

Now wasn’t that telling? Deanna thought, resolving to ask Ruby just how much
fighting
she and Hank were doing lately. “Everything’s fine,” she reassured Kevin. “Did you come up here for a reason?”

“I’m starving. The other guys had to go in for dinner, so I came up to see if the burgers are ready.”

“Not just yet,” Sean said.

Deanna barely contained a chuckle at the gross exaggeration.

Kevin looked around the kitchen, clearly noting that the table wasn’t set and that there was no evidence that dinner had even been started. “What have you guys been doing?” he asked.

“Talking,” Deanna said at once. “We lost track of time.”

“Oh,” Kevin said, apparently placated. “Can I have a soda?”

“Sure,” Sean said eagerly, reaching inside the fridge to retrieve one, then glancing at Deanna. “Okay?”

“Sure,” she said. She would have given Kevin anything he’d asked for at that point, if it would have gotten him off the embarrassing topic of what she and Sean had been up to.