Sebastian: The Complete Series (42 page)

Tears sprung to his eyes. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner.”

“How long was I gone for?”

“Two days.”

“It felt fucking longer.” I grinned at him and he managed a small smile.

“I know.”

“Is it against the rules if you lay with me?” I pouted at him and he smiled wider.

“I don’t think they’ll mind.” He helped me shift over and then laid beside me, carefully adjusting my wires before he wrapped me in his arms. “I’ve missed holding you.”

“Me too.” I curled into him, sighing as I relaxed and just breathed him in. His familiar scent and body cradled me securely. I lay with him, just content with the silence and knowing I was safe in his arms, a wave of warmth rolling over me as I pressed my face into his chest.

“Seb…” I smiled at his softly spoken voice.

“Yes?”

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”

“That’s cool with me.”

“And, Seb?”

“Yes, Robert?” I rolled the r and t and grinned up at him.

“Don’t ever run away again.”

“I promise.” I kissed him softly. “I won’t ever leave your side.”

“I knew you’d be the death of me when we first met.” He smiled as he ran his fingers through my hair. “I swear I’ve been on the verge of a heart attack since I found out you’d gone missing.”

“I’m sorry.” I hugged him tighter. “I should never have left. I just… I thought he was a prick, I didn’t think he was a sadistic mental bastard. I thought I’d be safe. How wrong I was.”

“I’m so sorry. I should have known. I should have seen something.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but his.” I took hold of his face and stared into his lovely, sad, brown eyes. “There’s only himself to blame for what happened to me, for what happened to the others he hurt.” I lay my head back on his chest and sighed. “Just hold me. You have no idea how much I need this.”

“I love you, baby.” A tender kiss on my head made me smile, and I pressed my aching body to him and closed my eyes.

Rather than look back and think bad things, I looked forward with new hope. Leo was gone. No matter what, he wouldn’t get out of prison any time soon, and I was really looking forward to going to court and telling everyone what a crazy, fucked up person he was.

With him out of our lives, Robert and I had a new beginning, one where we could move forward without fear. I could go back home, go back to university, see my mum.

I felt freer, safer, and despite everything I had gone through, I had what I wanted the most in my life. Robert. No matter what I went through, I was alive. I’d planned my death, and now it felt like I had a second chance to live and I wasn’t about to waste it.

Damien didn’t have the luxury of surviving what Leo put him through. If nothing else, I owed it to him to put everything behind me and live.

The recurring thought ran through my mind, I wouldn’t let Leo and the past two days ruin my life. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. He didn’t deserve one thought from me, let alone years. No matter what I had to do, I would go on. I wouldn’t just survive, I would live how I wanted and do what I wanted. I may have scars inside and out from what he did, but that’s all they were, physical reminders. And I would always look at those scars and be reminded how strong I was, how I survived and continued on. He wouldn’t control me again, not ever, not for one tiny moment of my life. I wouldn’t give him that. He didn’t deserve it.

I was safe. I was home. And I was determined to stay there forever.

H
arry leaned back in his chair, flicking through the TV channels as he slid his feet onto the hospital bed which I’d become welded to over the past three days.

I looked blankly at him for a loooong moment, and then grabbed the remote from him. “I don’t get it.”

“No surprise there, really, is there?” Harry’s lips twitched in an attempt to stop smiling at me.

I kicked his feet off the bed, instantly regretting it by the shooting pain running up my ankle. “Explain it again. Slowly. Like, sloth slow.”

Harry sighed heavily, muting the sound so I had to listen and not zone out watching the mind-numbing daytime TV shows I’d become addicted to in a very short period of time. “There are several
social
seasons to take into account when planning a big event like a wedding.”

Still stunned by the fact they were getting married, I let most of that wash over my head. “I thought there were just four.”

Harry paused, his mouth opening then shutting as he turned sluggishly to me, doing his slow motion camera shot and making me smile. “Four?” He dusted off some non-existent fluff from his fitted trousers while he played for time, obviously waiting for the next foolish thing to slip through my lips.

Which didn’t take long, because, you know… It’s me!

“Yeah, you know, four seasons. Spring, summer, autumn, winter. Four.” Holding up four fingers, I waved them at him. “Four. One, two, three, four.” I counted down each finger, and then waggled my hand around in mid-air.

“Yes.” Harry tried not to smile. Not very hard, but I could see he was at least
attempting
to not grin at me. “And you’re right. There
are
four seasons… weather-wise.
But
… I said
social
seasons.” He said social real slow, like he was talking to some deaf mute who had trouble lip reading or something.

Social seasons? This had to be a posh thing. “How come I don’t know about these
other
seasons? What the hell are they? Do posh people have separate seasons to us? Like Mildly Temperate, Ever So Slightly Moist.”

Leigh took the glass of water from me and stood behind Harry, wrapping an arm over his shoulders and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Stop messing with him, Harry. He’s drugged up.”

That received a roll of Harry’s eyes. “Yes, well… I
seriously
don’t see any difference from you being drugged up to being ‘normal.’” He actually used his fingers to add the quotation marks around normal. No really, he did. “And I use the word
normal
in the widest of possible terms.” Harry placed his feet back on the bed with a grin. “Social seasons, Seb. As in opera, racing, polo… not weather.”

“Right.” I had no idea why you would need to take all these things into account when planning a wedding, but then I wasn’t posh like him. “Why the hell does it matter anyway? And why is this such a big thing when you’re not actually getting married for like fourteen months?”

Harry shrugged, the weariness showing in his tired eyes as he looked back to Leigh. The defeat within him spilled out, and I grinned inside. This was quite obviously a battle he’d lost. “That’s a relatively short time in my grandmother’s social circle. She feels very rushed into the whole thing, but… excited at the same time.”

On account of the sleeping drugs I’d been on until that morning, I’d not really been able to have visitors—well, people had
been
there, but let’s say I was too spaced out to really partake in a two way conversation—so this was the first I’d heard of this spectacular wedding, and I wasn’t too sure I thought it was a good thing. “I can’t believe you’re getting married. You barely know each other.”

“We know each other, Seb.” Harry gently coaxed Leigh onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his stomach. “And the most important thing we know about the other is that we want to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Ugh, get a room.” I stuck my tongue out at them, but then a huge grin spread over my face. I was happy for them both, extremely happy. Harry deserved this future, and I was relieved to hear his grandmother was so accepting of them, and even though she would quite obviously become Bridezilla and organise the whole thing for them, at least she was proud and wanted to show off Harry’s relationship, not hide it. “Can I help plan it? I would be super-duper awesome at planning a wedding. I think it may be my calling in life. I’ve always had a good feeling about weddings.”

“You don’t know the first thing about weddings. The only one you’ve ever attended was my aunt’s, and you snuck off after twenty minutes to fuck Robert.”

Totally ignoring him, I continued. “Yeah, I’d be great at planning a wedding.” Harry rolled his eyes at me while Leigh laughed. “This could be like the royal gay wedding of the century. I can see it now—”

“No.” Harry stopped me dead, spoiling my visions of Elton John singing, rainbow table cloths, drag queens swanning around telling jokes…

“Aww. It would be sick.”

He paused, looking distastefully at me. He disliked the use of vomit being used to express excitement in something. But it was an epic moment, and it called for it totally. “No.”

Leigh took my hand in his, a broad smile on his lips. “If it makes you feel any better, I got told the same thing.”

My mouth gaped open in exaggerated shock and I clamped my hand over my chest as I glared at Harry. “Sheridan. Harry. Rothsburn. You let your fiancé have some input into this wedding right now.” I turned to Leigh. “And then you can let me have fun with you planning it all, right? Because I think we can get hold of Elton John’s phone number for the do afterwards.”

“Sure. It’ll be fun.” Leigh leaned back, laughing hard.

“No.” Harry prodded Leigh in the stomach, and then kissed him. “We’re sitting back and letting the Duchess deal with this. We can concentrate on other things and not just one day. I’m not bothered about one day, I'm interested in all the days I have with you. They’re all as important to me.”

“You make me sick. And I mean sick as in vomit, not OMG, that’s totally sick.” I pretended to wretch and got the middle finger from Harry. “I think if the wedding has already been claimed, then I should at least organise the stag do. Obviously, I'm going to be best man.” I’d introduced them, helped Leigh find the strength to come out, it was my right, God damn it! “I am, aren’t I?”

Harry groaned but Leigh was nodding.

“Yay!” Not that I doubted they would say yes, but…

Leigh gave my hand a squeeze. “Who else would we want standing beside us while we got married?”

“You have two whole years to prepare and practise being sane for the service.” Harry grinned at me. “Although I know you’ll surprise us by doing something memorable.”

“I’m so excited!!” I was bouncing around on the bed with my child-like display and it made them both chuckle. “And I get to organise the stag do, right?”

Harry didn’t get a chance to speak. Leigh jumped right on in and slammed his hand over his mouth. “Yes, Seb. That’s all yours.”

“God, I have so many plans, and two whole years to come up with stuff. This is going to be the best stag party ever. Of course I’m not telling you two anything. It’ll be a surprise.”

Yup, Vegas here we come. That place won’t know what’s hit it when I turn up there.

After taking another look at the time on the TV, I decided now was a good time to start moaning again. I mean, it had been
at least
five minutes since I mentioned how much I wanted to leave the boring hospital, but still… “I'm sooo bored. When can I go home? Haven’t they got my pills yet? How long does it take to run them upstairs and let me go?”

Leigh took my hand, cornflower blue eyes meeting mine. “I'm sure they’re busy getting everything ready, and you haven’t even seen a doctor yet who can release you.”

My brows rose quickly and Harry sighed before I started. “Look, I’ve had two of them in here constantly watching over me all the bloody time. Robert and his mate Jacob have been mooching around the place since I got in here. They’re doctors, so I'm told.”

“But not
your
doctor.” Harry yawned loudly, flicking his eyes over my pyjama-clad body. They were Superman ones which my mum brought down and I actually loved them. “Besides, I think another couple of days in here would do you good. It can’t be right them allowing you to go home so soon. I know Robert doesn’t want this to happen, and don’t get me started on his pushy friend.”

“Erm, I'm pretty sure I can at least call
one
of them mine.” Yup. Robert was all mine. One hundred percent mine, and I loved him being with me, but Jacob could bugger off home and be with his pretty boy and leave me alone for a few hours out of the day, but that never seemed to happen. “
And
I’ve been here forever and ever and ever and ever and—”

“It’s been three days, Seb.”

“Like I said, forever and ever and ever. The days just seem to blur together.”

“That will be the drugs.” Harry flashed me a sly smirk.

“I can’t remember what the outside world even looks like.”

“You have a window right there. If you turned your head slightly to the left, you’d see the nice park and blue sky.” Harry grinned.

I chose to ignore him. “And fresh air. Oh God, I would love to feel the breeze on my face.”

“I refer you again to the window which you could easily open. However, I would like to point out last month you stayed inside for a whole two weeks without opening one. You're not an outsi—”

“You don’t understand.” I hid my face in my hands, fake sobbing. “I’m a prisoner in here. They give me drugs to keep me quiet—”

“I don’t blame them,” Harry muttered.

“They took away my clothes, my hair styling stuff, my PHONE!! Even my name. I'm just a number now.”

“Oh God, what I wouldn’t give to have some of those drugs now.” Harry looked to the ceiling, smiling.

“And the food—”

“You hate all food, Seb.”

“—it’s so bad. Look at how skinny I am. I'm wasting away.”

“No change there then.”

“These lights.” I covered my eyes and blinked like a vampire seeing his first dawn in two hundred years. “They suck the life force from my very soul!” I fell back onto the bed, wincing slightly from the pain in my back. “I’m dying slowly.” I coughed dramatically. “I can feel it. Soon…” Another cough. “I won’t be here to talk to you, to see your smiling faces.” I grabbed Harry’s hand, watching him chuckle. “Remember me when I'm gone, won’t you? Remember…” I broke off, making choking sounds. “Remember you owe me a hundred quid.” Then I fake died, throwing my head against the pillow before rolling my eyes back in my skull and letting my tongue hang out.

Harry and Leigh started howling with laughter and I soon joined in.

Before I could stop laughing, my mum breezed into the room, carrying what looked like edible food and not the crap they served at mealtimes. “Hey, baby.”

“Mum! Is that food?
Real
food?”

“Yes.” She kissed Leigh as she passed—he’d become her favourite in the time I’d moved to London, and on some base level, that pissed me off. She waved her bags at Harry as she walked around the bed to me, placing a soft kiss on my head and looking over me with that look all mums get when their baby is hurting. “You feeling better, love?”

“I will when I eat.” I sighed when I ripped the bag of food open. It wasn’t what I was craving.

She sat down, noticing the pout on my lips as I looked inside and saw chunky sweet potato wedges and some sort of toasted cheese panini. “Seb, you knew I wasn’t bringing McDonalds, so don’t give me that look. You need real food, and even though this isn’t exactly what Robert meant when he said ‘real’ food, it’s better than the junk food you constantly eat.” Mum crossed her legs, nodding at the bag of food. “Eat then. You’re too thin. I was shocked when I first saw you.”

She’d been called up by Robert the moment I came round the morning after I escaped the mental one who shall never be named in my presence ever again, and rushed down with my dad to be my side, not knowing what had happened, just that I’d been beaten up and was in hospital. Of course, that all changed when she arrived and Robert wasn’t there to talk to her as I slept. The on call doctor filled them in and I woke to find them both with tear-streaked faces sitting beside the bed, solemn and spaced out. I was the chirpiest one there, and considering the situation, that was fucking bad.