Secrets According to Humphrey (4 page)

The girls spent most of the day in Phoebe's room, which was great for me.

It didn't take long before they were talking about ancient Egypt.

“What are the Builders doing
?
” Phoebe asked.

Kelsey giggled. “We're building a pyramid. It's going to be
huge
. What about the Scribes
?
”

“We're inventing our own hieroglyphics,” Phoebe said. “And we're going to make papyrus, like the Egyptians did. It's like handmade paper.”

“Pa-pie-rus
?
” I repeated. “Is it made of pie
?
”

Both girls giggled.

“I think Humphrey wants to be a Scribe, too,” Phoebe said. “He needs some papyrus.”

I already am a scribe, and I don't need papyrus because I have my little notebook. Of course, Phoebe and Kelsey don't know about
that
.

“Papyrus is made of reeds, but we're using strips of paper,” Phoebe continued.

“You're making paper out of paper
?
” I squeaked, but of course, she didn't understand me.

“And we're going to write something using our special alphabet,” Phoebe added.

“I'd like to go to Egypt and see the pyramids,” Kelsey said. “And ride a camel!”

“Eeek!” I said. Camels looked unsqueakably fearsome, especially when they show their teeth. Not only that, they
spit
. How rude is that
?

“And I'd like to go to New York City,” Kelsey said. “My dad wants to take the whole family there.”

New York City has TALL-TALL-TALL buildings, but I don't think they have a lot of camels.

“You know what we could do
?
” Phoebe said. “Pretend to live in ancient Egypt.”

Kelsey looked excited. “Let's dress up like mummies! We could wrap ourselves in toilet paper!”

“Let's ask Gran,” Phoebe said.

The girls ran out of the room.

I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD to see Phoebe so happy.

But I HOPED-HOPED-HOPED that she and Kelsey wouldn't wrap me in toilet paper.

I scurried into my sleeping hut, just in case.

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
A camel's interesting to see,
But keep it far away from me!

Unsqueakable Secrets

I
must have dozed off for a while, but I woke up when Phoebe and Kelsey raced back into the room, laughing.

“Humphrey! Where are you
?
” Kelsey peeked in my cage.

I poked my head out of the bedding.

“Here!” I squeaked.

“Gran didn't think we should waste a whole roll of toilet paper, so she cut an old sheet into strips,” Phoebe said. “It will make us even better mummies!”

I darted under my bedding again and dozed for a bit. Sometimes I heard laughing, but I didn't look out. I didn't want the girls to think about wrapping bits of cloth around
me
. I don't like to wear anything except my fur coat.

“Ooh, that tickles.” Phoebe giggled.

“I can't see!” Kelsey shouted.

Then Phoebe said, “Look in the mirror!”

They howled with laughter.

I must admit, I was getting curious about what was so funny.

After a while, Kelsey shrieked, “Humphrey! Look at us!”

I couldn't resist. I popped my head up and looked.

“The mummies!” the girls shouted.

“Eeek!” I squeaked.

Phoebe and Kelsey stood in front of my cage, almost completely wrapped in strips of white cloth.

All I could see was a little bit of their eyes and mouths.

They looked like the mummies in
Secrets of the Nile
!

“Mummy girls, mummy girls! We are the mummy girls!” Phoebe and Kelsey chanted.

They began to do a dance, hopping around the room and waving their arms.

I climbed up on my tree branch for a better look. Believe me, it was quite a sight to see.

“Do you like our mummy dance, Humphrey
?
” Phoebe asked.

“YES-YES-YES!” I said.

Gran came into the room to see what all the noise was about and laughed when she saw the dancing mummies. She got her camera and took photos to show Phoebe's parents.

“Don't you want to be a mummy, Gran
?
” Phoebe asked.

“No,” Gran answered with a chuckle. “I want to be a
grand-mummy
! But aren't you two hungry
?
”

“Starving!” Phoebe answered.

“Me too,” Kelsey said. “But it's going to be kind of hard to eat.”

I guess
real
mummies don't eat much!

The girls decided to take off the strips of cloth.

It was taking a long time until Kelsey said, “I know a faster way.”

She took one end of Phoebe's cloth and had her friend whirl around and around in a circle. As she twirled, the cloth unwound.

Then Kelsey twirled out of her cloth until she looked like herself again.

“Now, let's eat!” Phoebe said and the girls raced out of the room.

I was hungry from watching the dancing mummies. Luckily, I had some food stored in my cheek pouch—yum! (We hamsters make sure we never go hungry!)

Phoebe and Kelsey were still giggling when they returned from lunch.

“What now
?
” Phoebe flopped onto her bed.

“I don't know. What other Egyptian things could we do
?
” Kelsey dropped onto the chair.

The girls thought for a while.

“We could be scribes,” Phoebe said. “We could make up an alphabet of pictures.”

Kelsey jumped up. “Ooh—I know!” Her cheeks were pink with excitement. “We could make an alphabet that only the two of us know. Then we could send each other messages.”

“Like a secret code!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Sounds unsqueakably fun!” I agreed.

“Humphrey, why are you squeaking
?
Hamsters can't read,” Kelsey said.

“Well, I'm a hamster and I can read!” I was a tiny bit annoyed. I hopped on my wheel and began to SPIN-SPIN-SPIN.

Phoebe and Kelsey didn't even notice as they sat side by side on Phoebe's bed with paper and pencils.

“We need to come up with pictures that stand for sounds,” Phoebe said. “Our group's using things like a bird, the sun, a crown.”

“I'm not so good at drawing birds. Why don't we replace the letters of the alphabet
?
Like a square for A, a star for B—simple things that aren't too hard to draw,” Kelsey suggested.

I was getting tired of spinning and I didn't like feeling left out, so I went in my little sleeping hut for a nap.

When I woke up, I heard Phoebe and Kelsey talking. I strolled out of my little house, over to the side of the cage near the bed.

“Okay, so now we have our secret alphabet,” Kelsey said. “What are we going to write
?
”

“I know,” Phoebe said. “But don't tell Humphrey!”

She whispered in Kelsey's ear. They huddled together and kept whispering as they wrote.

Once, Kelsey said, “No, not a star—it's a sun.”

Then Phoebe said, “That arrow points the wrong way.”

There I was, watching two of my favorite friends sharing a secret . . . without me.

I guess Forgetful-Phoebe forgot about me.

And Be-Careful-Kelsey wasn't being careful not to hurt my feelings.

“Who'd like to get out of this room and watch a video
?
I'll make popcorn,” Gran said as she opened the door again.

“I would,” Phoebe said.

“Count me in,” Kelsey agreed.

Yum—popcorn sounded crunchy and delicious.

“Me too,” I added.

But the girls raced out of the room—without me.

“Wait!” I squeaked, but they didn't come back.

I sat and stared at the door for a while, hoping someone would remember that I like videos and popcorn, too.

After a while, I got tired of that and looked at the desk.

Then I saw it: right there near my cage. The girls had left the papers with the secret alphabet and the note they wrote.

And even though they said the alphabet was a secret, I was unsqueakably curious.

When I've visited other friends, I noticed that movies are pretty long, so I decided to take a chance.

I jiggled the lock-that-doesn't-lock and scurried over to the papers.

One piece had a list of letters and strange shapes and squiggles.

“This doesn't make sense!” I squeaked.

The other piece of paper had a series of symbols:

My whiskers wiggled and my tail twitched. This was harder than any math problem I'd ever seen!

I was about to run back in my cage and close the door behind me when I noticed that on the alphabet page there was a
next to the W. And a
next to the E.

W. E. Could the word be “WE”
?

If I matched the symbols on the second sheet of paper with the ones next to the alphabet, maybe I could figure out the words.

It was hard work for a small hamster to crawl up and down a big piece of paper to figure out what each letter meant.

I had gotten this far— “WE LOVE HUMPH”—when I noticed that it was getting dark outside.

The girls might be coming back any minute!

I hurried into my cage and pulled the door behind me, making sure that it was tightly closed.

I was feeling a lot better as I remembered what I'd read.